Chapter 17

In the Tower, abstract concepts often have self-awareness.

I speculate that when the god died, something similar to a divine nature spread around, and they absorbed it.

Although they are abstract concepts, people tend to have common perceptions about them.

For example, like drawing a heart when asked to express love.

People like to imagine things that don’t have clear forms.

They want to define vague concepts precisely and imagine various forms.

Those imaginations sometimes create fear, sometimes familiarity, and sometimes deification.

Such imaginations and emotions meet the divinity floating around and give them self-awareness. They gift them with body and soul.

Not only abstract concepts, but various natural objects and things like weather can also gain self-awareness.

Some take the form of humans, but some take the form of animals or plants.

They are the ones called sacred beasts or mythical beasts.

Typically, the whale beside me is like that.

Since whales have been considered mysterious animals from olden times, it’s not strange that they received divinity.

“What should I do with you all?”

They do possess divinity, but the amount is ambiguous.

It’s awkward to take them, but it bothers me not to take them.

I calm my mind while stroking the whale’s face.

It’s a sky whale responsible for the weather in the Tower, especially rain.

It always carries clouds around its inky body.

The role of this sky whale was to spray rain with a thick booming sound.

Rain wasn’t simply the act of spraying water.

It washes away and purifies the negative things embedded throughout the Tower.

People say rainy days are gloomy, but they have their own charm.

Listening to the sound of rain tapping on the window—pitter-patter—often made my heart peaceful.

People say they dislike the humid and damp atmosphere.

But that didn’t apply to me. Since I rarely went out, I didn’t have to get rained on.

For me, rain was a grateful existence that deepened the serene atmosphere.

Perhaps that’s why parting with this child feels especially regretful.

We became close while I fed it a lot.

“Golgol.”

Golgol is the name I gave it. It was a name derived from “whale” (in Korean).

I thought I named it well, but…

Golgol would turn its head away as if displeased whenever I called it by this name.

But today, for some reason, it quietly looked at me with its large eyes.

I am contained in those enormous eyes.

“I don’t think I can take you with me.”

They’re eyes different from humans. That’s why I couldn’t tell what was in them.

It was difficult to guess what it was thinking or what emotions it had.

“I’m sorry.”

The scenery of the Tower can be seen down the hill.

The night view of the city is clearly visible below.

The night view of the Tower full of dimly glowing lanterns instead of bright streetlights.

There’s not a single light shining from high places, only flickering lights from low places.

I know.

It’s not a complete farewell.

We’ll probably meet again.

But when we meet again, only I will have the memory.

Should I consider that the same?

I don’t know. It was too difficult a question for me.

Farewells are always difficult. The moment of conveying a goodbye is always painful.

But if even that isn’t conveyed, the parting becomes more painful, so the farewell was a necessary process.

Would it understand my words? I don’t know.

Since we can’t communicate verbally, is there a way to know?

It didn’t matter.

Conveying words of farewell was also for me. To gather my courage and prepare properly.

It’s a kind of warm-up for the farewell.

Boooooo────!

Making a booming sound, Golgol pours down rain.

The night sky, which had been cloudless until just a moment ago, quickly turns inky black and pours down rain.

I can see the city night getting soaked.

It nuzzles its face against my hand, showing affection it doesn’t usually show.

“What’s wrong? Acting cute unlike your usual self.”

It keeps pushing its enormous body.

“You still think you’re a baby. What’s going on, really.”

Moisture lines my voice.

I stroked the head of Golgol as it snuggled against me while being hit by the cold, sharp raindrops.

Leaning against a tree, I caressed the head of the grown beast that had only increased in size.

I suddenly thought it was fortunate that it was raining heavily.

* * *

Wet clothes are heavy. Due to the weight of the clothes, even taking a step was hard.

Every time I stepped on a puddle on the street, the splashing sound seemed to be unusually loud.

“Are you alright?”

I raised my head at the familiar voice.

The old man’s face came into view.

My heart sank with a thud. I was deliberately avoiding him.

It was hard enough saying goodbye to Golgol, how much harder would it be with the old man?

Because the time we accumulated was longer and the memories we shared were more profound.

Building a relationship from scratch again seemed only frightening.

“Hey, you’re all wet. Why are you doing this when you could avoid the rain?”

Ber rushed over and wiped me, who was soaked in the rain.

“You always said you hated getting rained on because books would get damp! Why are you doing this today?”

Ber’s nagging in a distressed voice seemed like a mother, making me laugh.

“You’re laughing?”

“I’m sorry. It’s just warm.”

Words could also have temperature. If so, your words would definitely be similar to a person’s temperature.

Because they were warm and cozy.

“Hahaha.”

Looking up at the sky, I exhaled something that could’ve been either a sigh or laughter.

“What’s wrong? Did something happen?”

“Don’t overexert yourself. Health comes first.”

“I won’t get sick anyway, so.”

“Disease isn’t only what afflicts the body. My friend. The heart can also fall ill.”

At the old man’s words, something suddenly welled up.

“Ah, I suddenly crave alcohol.”

Both of them look startled as if they heard something they shouldn’t have.

“What? Why are you both like that?”

“Oh? Really? Then you should drink. If you crave it, you should drink.”

“You two go ahead. I’ll buy the alcohol.”

The old man hurriedly moved and left to buy alcohol.

Looking at his departing back, Ber shouted.

“Old man! Come to our house! Not to this kid’s shop!”

The old man waved his hand as if in agreement.

“Why do you speak informally to me but formally to the old man?”

“Well, his face makes it hard to speak casually.”

That’s certainly true. That face had some sort of aura that made it difficult to speak informally.

But it’s a bit odd that she doesn’t hesitate to ask him to do errands.

“I don’t mind speaking informally to the old man.”

“You’re the strange one.”

“I’m older than the old man?!”

It gives me a strange feeling of being treated like a child.

“How can I see you as an adult when you act like this?”

Ber roughly strokes my head.

“What?”

As I try to avoid her stroking hand by dodging here and there, Ber said as if to show me.

“See? This kind of thing. This kind of thing.”

“No, that’s not…”

Grumbling, I reluctantly allowed her to stroke my head.

Hmm, it felt strangely good. Like being praised.

Walking like that, we arrived at Ber’s house.

It was a huge house befitting the term “wealthy merchant.”

A mansion built with a spacious garden and luxurious materials welcomes us.

Sitting at a table on the second floor, I look out the window. I endlessly gaze at the scenery where rain is still falling.

A can of beer is placed in front of me. Ber took out beer from the refrigerator and handed it to me.

“What? You had alcohol?”

“Just two cans. It’s not enough, so someone needs to go buy more.”

“You said you’re reluctant to speak informally to him, but you have no problem asking him to run errands?”

Ber nonchalantly ignored my words and opened the can to gulp down the beer.

Usually, she acts elegantly, but when working or drinking, her personality changes.

“Phew~! What? Why aren’t you drinking?”

“I should drink together with the old man when he arrives.”

Ber nodded as if understanding.

While sipping her beer, Ber said,

“I got a contact from the Tower. It seems all preparations will be complete in a week.”

“Really?”

“They’ve accepted all the plans we proposed.”

“That’s good.”

“Haa.”

The sound of Ber sighing loudly reached me.

At that sound, I unconsciously shrank.

“You’re really…”

“D-don’t be angry.”

My face was caught by Ber. Looking at me with my mouth puckered like a carp’s, Ber says,

“Lift your head. You haven’t done anything wrong. There’s no need to feel guilty.”

Pointing at the Tower, she continues,

“This happened because they couldn’t do their job properly. It’s not because of you.”

Ber flips her middle finger towards the Tower. Then she poured out a stream of curses.

“Rather, you’re giving a failing world one more chance. It’s something worthy of praise.”

Ber, speaking with hissing breaths, roughly stroked my head.

“Like this, like this, you should be praised.”

“Ow, ow, I feel like I’m getting shorter.”

She pressed so hard that it felt like my neck was going to sink in.

“It’s because you try to shoulder everything alone.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Why is it always heavy and hard and painful! And why do you try to bear those burdens alone?”

“Are you drunk?”

“I’m here too. Share your pain. Let me bear it with you.”

I couldn’t say anything to Ber who was mumbling with a distorted face.

“I’m not doing this because I’m drunk. It’s something I’ve wanted to say for a long time. You always try to shoulder everything alone. Then you end up in too much pain.”

Ber said with a painful smile.

“It was the same when you said you’d open a used bookstore, and it’s the same now. I’ve been waiting. You say I’m your friend, right? Friends are there to share the pain, to be there when it hurts.”