Chapter 169: Apology – 8

The moment I regained the strength to stand on my own two feet, we headed north.

I still found it difficult to stand alone, and my energy had not fully returned, but my father was the real issue.

No one knew how much time he had left.

Honestly, the fact that he was still alive was surprising.

Perhaps such tenacity ran in the blood.

It seemed both I and my father had long lifespans.

Many people traveled with us on the journey north.

Of course, Kayla, who had come south, and the servants of the Alan family who attended her were included.

Vivian was there too, along with numerous attendants of the Rondor family, all heading toward the Alan estate.

My companions, maids, attendants, and even the second, third, and fourth knight commanders were present—it looked almost like a great migration.

If it weren’t for the complicated relationship between me and Vivian, others might have thought we were preparing for war.

I could roughly guess why Vivian was bringing so many people north.

But I didn’t bother voicing that reason aloud.

If Vivian had decided to do this, I had no objections.

Tying up the loose ends between our families would probably be for the best.

Unlike a harsh ride on horseback, moving with so many people meant the journey was slow.

For me, that was somewhat fortunate.

The wounds on my body still ached, and a rough journey might have been unbearable.

Perhaps even this was Vivian’s consideration.

She sat in the same carriage as me, watching over my condition all day.

“…Here, drink some water.”

“…Vivian.”

“And I told you not to take that off. Your body will get cold. You suffered in the northern cold before, didn’t you?”

“…Vivian.”

“…Should we slow down the carriage? It seems a bit rough. Maybe we should get some fresh air—”

“Vivian, calm down.”

I grabbed her arm and spoke firmly, making her finally close her mouth.

But who knew how long that would last?

I had already said similar words more than ten times.

For a while, she kept quiet as I asked, but in the end, she couldn’t help but constantly check on me like someone unable to suppress her anxiety.

Even Kayla had clicked her tongue at Vivian multiple times, looking exasperated.

That expression alone made me want to stop Vivian.

It was embarrassing to show such a sight in front of my younger sister.

“…Am I not allowed to worry?”

Vivian spoke curtly, trying to compose her emotions.

I understood.

Whenever I saw this anxious side of her, it felt as if the emotions she had been hiding from me were becoming visible.

Only after enduring hardships did our feelings finally become clear.

For a long time, our relationship had been obscured by power struggles and resentment.

We had exchanged embraces and kisses before, but even those moments were tangled in complicated emotions.

Sometimes, our kisses felt like battles—overpowering, dominating.

Other times, they seemed like a mere means to vent our pent-up desires, using each other for relief.

The instability of our positions contributed to this.

There was no one else we could rely on, no one else we could show our true desires to.

So, at times, we had no choice but to use each other.

But the look in Vivian’s eyes now was different.

It was a transparent, pure love.

Her gaze burned with desperation, as if the thought of losing me was unbearable.

Her lips, anxious and restless, occasionally trembled with passion.

If we weren’t headed north, we surely would have—

…And I felt the same.

The more I confronted my own emotions, the clearer they became.

Perhaps my expression mirrored hers.

Sometimes, we simply stopped and gazed into each other’s eyes.

In those moments, it felt as if we were speaking without words.

We were constantly telling each other—

That we wanted to confirm our love, quickly and deeply.

But, of course, that was something to be dealt with after this journey ended.

Even in the warmest part of the afternoon, our breaths turned to mist, a sign that we were nearly there.

With such a large group traveling together, the Alan family’s soldiers soon appeared to meet us.

Although the war had ended nearly ten years ago, the lingering tension between the Rondor and Alan families remained.

Until just last month, that tension had undoubtedly still been thick in the air.

The soldiers of the Alan family watched us warily, their stances tense.

But seeing me and Kayla, along with Vivian’s assurance that we held no hostility, slowly eased their caution.

The knights of the Rondor family, who had followed Vivian, were not wearing battle armor either—

Their equipment was suited for travel and the cold, not for combat.

That alone helped to dissipate some of the tension.

“Did you really need to bring this many people?”

I finally asked Vivian as we entered the territory.

“…This way, the whole world will know. About my actions.”

But Vivian’s resolve was firm.

“Besides, you might not realize it, but this is a punishment of sorts—for everyone.”

“Punishment?”

“They’re apologizing to you.”

Her words left me momentarily blank.

I couldn’t quite grasp what she meant.

But Vivian continued.

“Everyone knows how hard things were for you in the Rondor family.
Even the people who tormented you—many of them are still in the castle. There wasn’t a single person who didn’t play a part in it, really.
They need to atone for that.”

“Is that just your thought?”

“I think they all feel the same way.

This is their chance to ease their guilt.

That’s why no one is complaining.”

I peeked out of the carriage, looking at the long procession trailing behind us.

Could Vivian be right?

There was no way to be certain.

When the Rondor family entered the Alan territory and walked among its people, no one made a sound.

Silence and awkwardness hung between the northerners and southerners.

It wasn’t exactly a friendly relationship.

But at least, there was no bloodshed.

More than anything, the fact that Vivian and I were together was enough to keep them from conflict.

While I had been unconscious, our story had surely spread far and wide.

Vivian arrived at the inner fortress of the Alan estate.

The carriage came to a stop in the castle’s courtyard.

Vivian immediately pulled on a thicker coat.

It was undeniably cold.

In the past, she might have disliked such a place.

But now, knowing this was Kailo’s home, she felt an inexplicable fondness for it.

“Kailo, let’s go.”

Vivian took Kailo’s arm and helped him up.

After sitting for so long, Kailo groaned as he pushed himself up from the carriage seat.

Kayla was the first to step outside, holding the door open.

Kailo and Vivian followed after her.

“Alright, take it slow…”

Vivian carefully stepped outside, paying attention to each step.

As they exited the carriage, the air grew even colder around them.

However, Vivian was more concerned about how much colder Kailo must have felt rather than her own discomfort.

They had rushed back to the northern lands at Kailo’s insistence, but now, it was her turn to be the one insisting.

She wanted him to go inside as soon as possible and warm himself.

“Let’s go inside first…”

Vivian, solely focused on Kailo, took a step forward but then suddenly came to a halt.

Kailo also stopped, looking at the same thing she had seen.

Vivian felt her breath catch in her throat.

For the first time, she momentarily forgot about Kailo’s presence.

Jade Alan was waiting for them in the inner courtyard.

Seated in a chair prepared for him, he slowly opened his eyes.

Even without anyone telling her, Vivian instinctively knew it was Jade Alan.

A large frame, yet a frail body.

Sunken cheeks and deep-set eyes.

Dark, withered skin.

He looked like someone who could pass away at any moment.

Yet, despite that, Vivian could still sense the strength hidden within him.

Now, she understood why so many people had feared this man.

He was waiting, still holding onto that same unyielding spirit.

Seeing him, Kailo hesitated for a moment before stepping forward.

“Father, why are you outside? It’s cold.”

Jade Alan slowly turned his gaze to Kailo and answered.

“…This land has been my home for a lifetime. It isn’t cold… it’s refreshing.”

“…Still—”

Before Kailo could say more, Vivian stopped him.

“-Kailo.”

This wasn’t a moment for him to interfere.

The moment she saw Jade Allen, Vivian had already made up her mind.

And it seemed that Jade Alan had done the same the moment he heard she was coming.

Vivian handed Kailo over to Kayla, then took slow, deliberate steps toward Jade Alan.

All eyes turned to her.

The few remaining servants within the castle.

The many people residing in the Alan family’s stronghold.

Everyone was focused on Vivian’s movements.

Vivian met Jade Alan’s gaze.

There was a time when she had hated this man more than anything.

She had believed he was the one who killed her father and brother…

She had cursed him and resented him endlessly.

But not anymore.

Even if he had been deceived by Robert Rondor’s trap, that could never be an excuse.

That misunderstanding had led to years of pain for Kailo.

Vivian had already apologized to Kailo countless times.

And she intended to keep apologizing for the rest of her life.

But pain wasn’t something only the direct victim experienced.

The people who cherished that victim also bore similar wounds.

Vivian slowly knelt before Jade Alan.

“Vi—!”

Kailo, who had started to call out to her, clenched his lips and held himself back.

He realized this wasn’t his moment to step in.

Vivian knelt before Jade Alan, looking up at him.

Memories of the past flooded her mind—

Throwing Kailo into the punishment unit.

Hurling cruel words at him.

Preventing him from even visiting his mother’s grave.

She recalled how he had suffered because of her.

How he had barely survived moments of near death.

And with all those thoughts, her next action felt incredibly easy.

Vivian set aside her pride and spoke to Jade Alan.

“I acknowledge that blood has been spilled between our families. It was a brutal war, leaving behind deep wounds on both sides. The war ended with the victory of the Delrum Kingdom… and as a result, the Rondor family became the victors.”

Her voice rang clearly through the courtyard, the crisp air making it sound even sharper.

“I took advantage of that position to inflict endless pain on Kailo. I poured my personal resentment onto him. I mistakenly believed that the Duke of Alan was responsible for my father and brother’s deaths due to my uncle’s actions. Because of that misunderstanding, Kailo’s childhood was stolen from him… And I am painfully aware that it is time he can never reclaim.”

Jade Alan’s eyes softened slightly as if he was recalling the past.

But Vivian did not stop.

“The Duke and Duchess of Alan must have suffered wounds that can never be erased because of my actions. This is all my fault. There are no words…”

She took a slow breath before continuing.

“I know my sins cannot be forgiven. I am ashamed that I can only say these words now, after being saved by Kailo. But even so, I know this is something I must say.”

Vivian bowed her head deeply.

“I am sorry. Truly, deeply sorry. I have done so many unforgivable things to Kailo.”

Jade Alan gazed at her in silence.

Vivian did not raise her head first.

—Sssk…

Slowly, Jade Alan shifted his weight forward.

The people around him, including what seemed to be Kailo’s younger siblings, rushed to support him in alarm.

“Father…!”

“…Stay where you are.”

Despite his frail frame trembling, Jade Alan pushed himself to his feet and took a step toward Vivian.

Seeing him move, Vivian couldn’t hold back any longer and stood to support him.

Jade Alan did not reject her help.

He spoke.

“…I bear responsibility as well.”

His voice was far gentler than she had expected.

The undefeated knight whom the southern lands had feared…

Vivian could see Kailo’s reflection in him.

“No matter if it was Duke of Rondor’s brother’s doing, I was the one who gave him that opportunity. Under the justification of war, I have taken countless lives. And the reason you were left alone in the end… that, too, is partly my fault.”

Jade Alan gently took Vivian’s hands in his own.

He said.

“…Every time I think of my children, I also think of you, who are of a similar age. I can hardly imagine how difficult it must have been for you, left alone… So, in truth, I am the one who should be saying this. I am sorry.”

Vivian started to shake her head vigorously but was caught off guard by the tears welling up in her eyes.

The more time passed, the more it seemed that Kailo’s words were right.

She felt like she had been crying too much.

Jade Alan smiled and asked,

“…Will you accept my apology?”

“Yes… yes…”

Vivian murmured.

Then she asked,

“…My… my apology as well…?”

Jade Alan gestured with his chin toward the back.

In that direction stood Kailo, gazing at her warmly.

“…Just by looking at Kailo’s face, you can see that he has already forgiven you. So what more could I possibly say?”

Jade Alan then placed his hand on Vivian’s shoulder and spoke again, shifting the mood.

“Welcome, Duke of Rondor. You must be hungry. Let’s have a meal first.”

Vivian, flustered, quickly shook her head.

“Ah… um…”

“Is something wrong? Do you need to return urgently…?”

“No, it’s not that…”

Hesitating, Vivian finally said,

“…I would like to first go and offer my apologies to the Duchess Alan as well.”

Jade Alan smiled once more.

His children watched in surprise at the exchange.

He answered.

“As you wish.”