Chapter 167: Apology – 6

It wasn’t as if finding a reason to endure pain suddenly made it bearable.

I had seen Vivian and promised her that I would overcome this, yet my consciousness flickered in and out.

I tried my best to stay awake, but whenever I asked those taking care of me, they would often tell me I had woken up after several days.

And every time, Vivian would watch me wake up with an expression that held both sadness and joy, as if she was still uneasy.

It was rather disorienting.

I was trying to stay awake, yet time was slipping by too quickly.

I feared that if this kept up, I’d suddenly regain full awareness only to find that years had passed.

Fortunately, about ten days after I first saw Vivian upon waking, I was able to stay conscious for half a day at a time.

Up until then, my mind had been in disarray, thinking only of a single goal—to not leave Vivian alone—but as my head cleared, I started to take in my surroundings as well.

A lot must have happened while I was unconscious.

For one, Kayla had come looking for me again.

She had every right to resent me after I shook off her grasp and ran to the south, but instead, she had rushed over out of worry for me.

“…I said I’m sorry.”

“…Just die. Just die, brother.”

She only let her emotions show once I was finally able to hold a normal conversation.

Before that, she had only told me reassuring words, as if trying to keep my spirits up.

But once I truly showed signs of recovery, that was when she started spewing venom.

“…I really don’t get it. You were on the verge of death, but the moment you saw Vivian Rondor’s face, you started getting better? How does that even make sense?”

“So what, I meant so little to you that you were fine with dying as long as I was left behind? Was that all I was worth to you?”

Kayla lashed out in anger, and my comrades watching over the room chuckled at the scolding.

Not wanting to look pitiful in front of them, I tried to joke my way out of it, but…

“…You’re strong enough on your own.”

“Brother!!”

It only made their laughter louder.

Only after I moved my still-aching body to gently embrace her did she finally calm down.

Like a child who lashes out when scolded by their parents but eventually bursts into tears when comforted afterward…

Even after all her rage, Kayla cried in my arms.

“How many more family members… do I have to lose…?”

“Mom’s gone… Dad will be soon… And now you? Who am I supposed to rely on…? I can’t rely on the others…”

She must have been deeply shaken, watching me so close to death.

“I… I finally understand Vivian Rondor now… The fear of losing family one by one… The kind of despair it brings… Why she tormented you so much…”

“…Kayla.”

She tried to put up one last defense of her pride, speaking in an exaggerated tone.

“If you had died, I wouldn’t have let Vivian Rondor off the hook.”

“She would have been the woman who tormented you and drove you to death.”

“It doesn’t matter. It was my choice, and I survived. What does Vivian have to do with it?”

“Saying it like that only makes me hate her more, you know.”

I had no words to counter that, so I simply silenced her.

Holding her tightly to stifle her words, I felt her relax in my embrace.

After a long time of soothing her by stroking her back, she eventually composed herself and pulled away with an awkward, embarrassed expression.

Still, before leaving, she left me with a warning.

“…Eleanor, Reginald, and Ragon are really worried about you too. Of course, we couldn’t tell Father about this.”

“…Shake it off and get back on your feet. Got it?”

“…Yeah. At least I’ll be able to be there for Father’s passing.”

“You never know. It could be soon.”

Vivian continued to come and go from my room frequently.

But strangely, the more I recovered, the more she started avoiding me.

She checked on me at least six times a day, and considering my sleeping hours, she must have visited even more than that.

“…Vivian.”

“I—I have something to take care of.”

Whenever I tried to talk to her, she would immediately find an excuse to leave.

I was sure that if we really tried, we could have a proper conversation.

But I wondered if it really needed to be now.

My recovery was still the priority, and there was no urgent need to have that talk.

Whenever we had deep discussions, they often turned into fights anyway, so maybe that was part of the reason.

She seemed to be grappling with something as well, so perhaps it would be better to wait until she sorted it out.

Honestly, I was annoyed.

I felt like I had already said everything I needed to say and conveyed my feelings.

How she took it in was up to her… but hadn’t we already settled things?

…At the same time, I understood.

Our situation was still tangled.

“…Are you alright?”

Gisela Lute entered the room.

I was surprised to hear that even she had come to see me.

We were engaged—though it was more of a tentative engagement.

It had all happened rather quickly, and there hadn’t been enough time for any real emotions to develop between us.

I understood Gisela Lute’s affection toward me.

But rather than it being built through personal interactions, it felt more like something she had conjured in her imagination after hearing rumors about me.

I didn’t intend to dismiss it… but I didn’t think it was healthy for her either.

She probably didn’t realize it herself.

Everyone close to me knew about my selfish nature, but that sort of thing never spread through rumors.

…No, even if bad rumors about me spread, the North would have only taken them positively.

They would have seen me as someone resisting the South.

…Anyway, I’m sorry to say this, but she, too, was about to experience my nasty personality.

I truly felt sorry and regretful.

She was a good woman—gentle and feminine.

But she wasn’t the right match for me.

I had already made up my mind and had no intention of changing it.

“…Gisela, so—”

“…I know.”

But Gisela Lute cut me off first.

Since she had told me to speak comfortably, my tone had changed some time ago.

As I stood frozen, at a loss for words, Gisela let out a deep sigh instead.

“I’m disappointed, Kailo.”

She looked up at me as she spoke.

Yet, she smiled—relieved, even.

“…Well, as you always said… there wasn’t time for any feelings to develop. I know you chose me to replace Duchess of Rondor. Or maybe you just wanted an heir quickly. It’s also true that I took advantage of the situation to force my way in. I guess I was just trying to take the easy way out—that’s my karma.”

“You don’t have to look so apologetic. I had a vague feeling this day might come. I also knew full well that the time and emotions you and Lady Vivian shared were not something trivial. Just hearing about it… The hardships you both overcame together were incredible. You went on an epic adventure together, didn’t you?”

Gisela finally confessed.

“Even if I told you not to look so sorry. I’m not that good of a person, Kailo. I played my own little act too.”

“What?”

“When I heard that the Duchess might be accused of being a witch and could be executed… Honestly, a part of me hoped for it. If she was alive, I would have been constantly anxious, never knowing when you might leave me. But I thought that possibility was gone. Hoping for someone’s death… isn’t that ridiculous? That day, I discovered a side of myself I never knew existed. But I never expected you to save her life.”

“Maybe it’s actually for the best. If you had changed your mind after we had a child together, that would have been a bigger problem. Since you made up your mind even before we were properly engaged… I’m trying to think of it in a positive light.”

The more I heard her words, the more my guilt grew.

Yet, this was something I couldn’t compromise on.

“I’m sorry.”

I looked her in the eyes and apologized clearly.

She shook her head, biting her lip.

I could tell she still had something to say.

“…Say it.”

Since we were having this conversation, it was better to lay everything out without regrets.

At my urging, Gisela spoke.

“…Can I be just a little more honest?”

“Go ahead.”

“…I hold grudges for a long time.”

With an expression I had never seen before, Gisela gave a mischievous smile.

I wondered if she meant against me, but she clarified.

“When the Duchess came of age, that was the first time I set foot in this land, right?”

“That’s right.”

“That day, the Duchess humiliated me a little.”

“…Vivian can be quite a character. Sorry about that.”

“Why are you apologizing? Unbelievable. Are you two already a married couple?”

“…It wasn’t your fault. But… you want revenge in your own way?”

“Revenge?”

Maybe my expression was off because Gisela quickly waved both hands.

“No, no, I don’t mean anything bad! I just want to make her suffer… just as much as she tormented me. Maybe even a little more. That’s fair, right?”

I stayed silent, waiting for her explanation.

Gisela continued.

“…Lately, the Duchess has been avoiding you.”

I didn’t deny it.

“That’s true.”

Gisela grinned.

“…Then let’s keep up this act for a little while longer.”

“…What?”

“I mean, since she’s avoiding you like that, why should we be the ones to bring up our broken engagement first? Shouldn’t she get a little scolding? It’s obvious that she loves you—I can see it clearly. If she’s going to be scared, she should at least feel the fear of losing you. I want her to feel a little jealous and hurt.”

I scratched my head.

So she wanted us to pretend to be fine together so that Vivian would suffer?

“…That’s a bit much.”

“…Then I won’t ask you to act. Just don’t announce that our engagement is broken yet.”

“…That’s still…”

“Are you even sure Lady Vivian wants you?”

Gisela cut in sharply at my repeated refusals.

“Kailo, you already seem to be planning on ending up with her, but what if she’s avoiding you because she feels burdened? Just because you have feelings for her doesn’t mean you can force a marriage.”

…She had a point.

Honestly, I never really doubted that we’d end up together.

But in the end, that was just my belief.

I had never looked into Vivian’s heart.

And I had promised to give her time.

“This isn’t a big favor, Kailo. If you really don’t want to, you don’t have to act like we’re close. Just delay announcing our broken engagement. Please?”

“…Hmm.”

“Hey! If you feel guilty, just do this one thing for me!”

Gisela finally snapped in frustration, and I let out a small laugh.

In any case, I hadn’t had the chance to talk to Vivian properly these days.

I nodded.

“Alright. But I won’t go out of my way to hide it.”

“…Fine. That’s good enough. Oh, one last thing—don’t stop me from tormenting Lady Vivian.”

Just how much resentment did she have?

…Though, considering Vivian’s personality, it was understandable.

“…Just don’t overdo it.”

I warned.

“You’ll be watching?”

Gisela grinned playfully.

With just this short conversation, I realized she might not be as docile as I thought.

Maybe we simply hadn’t spent enough time understanding each other.

Gisela and I shook hands.

“If you ever get tired, come back to me.”

She said.

I shook my head.

“Look at me. I don’t have time to get tired.”

Gisela let out a light laugh.

And with that, our relationship came to an end.