Chapter 16 : It’s okay, if it’s you (3)

“So tired… Group projects are exhausting… People keep talking to me and it’s draining…”

After school, I came home and lazily kicked off my shoes.

Then I shuffled inside and flopped down on the living room couch.

“I don’t even know how many times I’ve told the same story… Seriously…”

Every time I went to a different class or ran into girls from my major at school, they kept asking me about how I started dating Yoon Taeo.

It felt like I’d turned into a robot repeating the same answer all day long.

Even though I’m someone with a strong extroverted (E) personality, that didn’t mean I was immune to getting exhausted from social interaction.

Especially when I was with people I wasn’t close to—it took a lot of mental energy to deal with that.

Just because I was tired didn’t mean I disliked it, but tiredness was still tiredness.

If that weren’t the case, I wouldn’t be glued to Yoon Taeo’s side all the time.

Because when I was with him, it was just… easy. Extremely easy.

“I should shower. Gotta wash up before I get into bed. Chaeryeong.”

Mom used to nag me like this every day.

Now that I live alone, I say it to myself.

Since I’m home alone, I shrug off my clothes like shedding a skin, get naked, and head into the bathroom.

“Ugh, it’s cold.”

Shivering from the chill as I undressed, I turned on the shower.

Warm water gushed out, quickly filling the bathroom with steam, and only then did I start to feel warm.

As the hot water poured down over my head, I spaced out and drifted into thought.

–Why doesn’t it bother me?

Of course, the thought that popped up in my head was about Yoon Taeo again.

It was something from a conversation we’d had earlier at the café after morning class.

“…Why did he ask something like that with such a serious face?”

That expression was so rare on him—he’s usually so playful—that it caught me off guard.

And without much thought, I had blurted out, “Because it’s us.”

Then, the question surfaced again.

“…What are we, exactly?”

That question, directed at no one in particular, lingered in the bathroom air.

Echoing and ringing in my ears, it almost felt like Taeo himself was asking me.

–It’s fine. Because it’s you.

He had said that too.

That it didn’t bother him to do a kiss scene with me, because we were friends.

But still…

“Is kissing really something that doesn’t matter between friends?”

I don’t know.

I don’t have any other guy friends besides Taeo.

And maybe… Taeo is more than just a guy friend to me.

We’ve gotten so used to each other that it feels empty if he’s not around.

Sometimes he feels like family.

Sometimes a friend.

Sometimes like a brother.

I really can’t define it.

It’s just… that kind of relationship.

“Other girls with guy friends don’t seem to feel this way…”

Even when I heard stories from classmates or other girls around me, it never sounded like what Taeo and I have.

At the very least, I’ve never heard any of them say a kiss with a guy friend wasn’t unpleasant.

In fact, many said it annoyed them just to be touched.

That makes me wonder—

Is our relationship just… weird?

That thought kept circling in my head.

“Ugh, Yoon Taeo. Seriously. Why’d you say something like that and make me think too much…”

As my thoughts deepened, I started blaming him.

I absolutely hated it when my mind got cluttered like this.

If I liked thinking so much, I’d probably be reading alone and acing my studies.

Usually, Taeo was the one who’d sort out these messy problems for me.

But right now, he wasn’t here.

Only my own face reflected in the mirror stared back at me.

And what caught my attention most—those bright red lips that, even if just for acting, had touched his.

I found myself absentmindedly touching my lips as I muttered,

“Come to think of it, when I filmed that kiss scene, that was my first kiss… with him. Even if it was just acting.”

I think I understood now why he had been so worried.

It’s probably his first kiss too, right?

I’d never heard of him having a girlfriend, and we were together all the time, so I’d know if he did.

I always thought your first kiss should be with someone you really liked…

How did things end up like this…?

“Whatever, stop thinking. Just stop.”

If I kept going, I felt like my brain would overheat.

So I squeezed out shampoo and began lathering my hair.

–Why doesn’t it bother me?

Again, his serious voice echoed in my head.

…Probably because we’re friends.

That’s all.

That one simple line I’d usually toss out so easily—

Why couldn’t I say it today?

“This is so weird. Really.”

Unable to come to a conclusion about what we were,

All I felt was this tightness in my chest.

***

“So once a couple of videos are uploaded like this, people are bound to get curious. Like, who are these people?”

“…”

“What do they do? What’s their story—how did they end up together? Stuff like that.”

“……”

“Just like movie scripts or drama screenplays, the characters’ backstories matter. Even in a couple vlog, it’s the same. The story! Story is everything!”

“Yes, thank you for your esteemed opinion as a couple vlog expert. So?”

“So, it means we went out of our way to visit our old high school. Yup yup.”

Chaeryeong is all excited, nodding her head.

The camera’s not even rolling, but she’s all fired up and running the show on her own.

She must be looking forward to revisiting our high school after such a long time.

Well, people do tend to enjoy reminiscing more as they get older.

“So is the concept for the third video a nostalgia trip?”

“Exactly. If we keep uploading just everyday clips of the two of us hanging out, it’ll get boring, right?”

“Mmm. As expected of the genius vlog director. So clever.”

“Of course, of course. Keep the compliments coming. Hmhm.”

“You’re absolutely amaaaazing, Ms. Chaeryeong?”

“That was totally sarcastic…”

“Oh? You can tell the difference? I’m impressed.”

“You think I’m an idiot or something?!”

Our high school wasn’t that far away.

We lived in the Gyeonggi Province and just moved to Seoul for college and started living on our own.

Honestly, the distance wasn’t too bad to commute either.

“So, how long exactly do I have to keep driving, Ms. Chaeryeong?”

“…Ahem.”

“You know, I’ve told you—if it’s going to be like this, you should’ve just asked your parents to sell the car.”

“But… why sell it? I mean, as long as we have it, you keep driving it for me…”

“You do have a driver’s license, you know. So why am I always the one driving?”

“…Because it’s scary. You know I got traumatized after almost crashing during my first road test…”

A story I’ve heard so often, it’s basically engraved in my spinal cord.

That’s the reason she can’t drive.

Honestly, what surprises me more is how someone so bad at driving managed to get a license at all.

So, this used Kia Morning that her parents bought her to celebrate entering college?

I ended up driving it most of the time.

“Isn’t it time you got over that trauma already?”

“Nope… I absolutely can’t.”

“So if I stop driving, you’re just going to live without ever getting in a car again?”

“…Yup. So keep driving for me, okay? Stay friends with me forever.”

“Sigh.”

Don’t say things like “drive for me forever.” Seriously.

My heart can’t take that.

Still, I didn’t really want to force someone who said they couldn’t do it.

It’s just… I felt bad for her.

Even if she had a car, she couldn’t go anywhere on her own if I wasn’t around.

I learned how to drive with my dad’s car but didn’t have one to drive myself.

In that sense, the world is strangely fair.

Wanting to drop the subject of driving, Chaeryeong quickly steered the conversation back to the video shoot.

“So, you did prepare, right? Since you said you would.”

“Prepare what?”

“You know what. That thing… The story about how you came to like me—you said you’d come up with it.”

She scratches her cheek, probably too shy to say it outright.

I remembered the phone call from a few days ago.

Chaeryeong had been explaining her new video plan, and in the middle of it, she said something like this:

—“Since it’s a nostalgia trip, I thought it’d be nice to include a story about how we became a couple.”

—“A story?”

—“Even if you say you confessed in college like you told Yeji, there should be something before that, like how you liked me back in high school. That’d make the one-sided love more believable, you know?”

—“You want to include that in this trip?”

—“Yeah. Just make something up, like you liked me since high school or whatever.”

She wasn’t sure if that Yeji girl would keep watching our videos or not, but just in case she did, we had to keep the story consistent.

Claiming that Chaeryeong had liked me first didn’t quite work with that.

And since I’d be the one memorizing the script anyway, I just said I’d write the story myself.

“Oh, that?”

“Oh, that? What’s with that unenthusiastic tone?”

“Don’t worry. I’ve got it all perfectly prepared.”

“The script? Did you memorize it?”

“I can recite it word for word. Want me to do it now?”

“No way. That’d ruin the moment. If I already know the story, I can’t pretend to be excited later.”

“Well, well. Look who’s a big-time actress now.”

Honestly, it didn’t bother me that much.

Because it wasn’t really a script.

I had started liking her back in high school.

There was no need to make up a story.

All I had to do was sprinkle a little drama over the day I realized I liked Chaeryeong and tell it like a memory.

Chatting like always while driving, we soon arrived at our beloved old high school.

I parked the car in the school lot and got out, setting up the camera.

We’ve only done this a few times, but being a YouTuber already felt strangely natural.

Standing in front of the school gate, I pressed record on the camera and exchanged a glance with Chaeryeong.

She nodded, as if to say she was ready.

And the filming began.

“Hiyo, everyone! Surprised to see a school as soon as the video starts?”

Chaeryeong gave a cute little bow.

“This is the high school we attended. It’s called Hyeondeok High—have any of you heard of it?”

“Some people probably have? It’s kinda well-known, in its own way.”

“Wow, it’d be so funny if one of our old classmates or someone from our year saw this. Right?”

“They’d definitely laugh at how fake you’re being. Like, ‘How is she this different from normal?’”

“What are you talking about! Hmph! I’m totally the same as usual. No fake vibes here, folks. He’s just messing with me~!”

“Whether I’m joking or not… I’ll leave it to your imagination, viewers.”

“Anyway, aren’t you curious? What our high school life was like? Come along with us today and see for yourself.”

This creature, who would’ve died if not for being cute, giggled and looked around the school fondly.

“It’s really been a while. Nothing’s changed at all.”

“That part changed. There used to be a basketball hoop over there.”

“Hey! Don’t ruin the mood when someone’s being nostalgic!”

“Oh? And the library entrance is different too. Must’ve been remodeled.”

“Wow, you’re just ignoring me now… Anyway, let’s go inside?”

I captured the school scenery with the camera and walked into the building with her.

Walking the same path we used to take every day made it feel all too familiar.

From the school gate, along the field, and up to the main building.

As we walked across the field, memories surfaced and I spoke up first.

“I used to sprint like crazy across this field. Remember?”

“Huh?”

“When you’d wake up late, I’d go get you, and we’d have to run across here like mad. You sleepyhead.”

Even now, Chaeryeong sleeps a lot. It was the same back then.

So I was often late just waiting for her.

“Oh, yeah. I kinda remember that.”

“Kinda? See, that’s the thing. The offender always forgets. I worked so hard to maintain my model student image, but thanks to you, I was late three times. Three times!”

“That’s not even that much. Just three?”

“Easy for you to say. You were late like it was a hobby.”

Honestly, without me, she might’ve had to repeat a year due to tardies.

As we walked, we looked around the schoolyard together.

Staring at the bleachers, Chaeryeong suddenly burst into laughter.

“What’s so funny?”

“Remember how you smashed your head into the bleacher pole over there? Still cracks me up just thinking about it.”

“Oh, that time? And what part of someone bashing their head is funny to you?”

“I was right next to you, remember? We were walking down the steps talking, and you just walked straight into the pole and collapsed. Like something out of a slapstick comedy.”

“I seriously thought I was gonna die. Ever had a concussion? It’s like your brain’s ringing in your skull.”

“Like a phone on vibrate? God, stop, I’m dying.”

“Want me to help you experience it firsthand? Want to get real cozy with a bleacher pole?”

“No thank you.”

She giggled and ran off as I jokingly raised my hand.

We passed between the main gate and the main building and finally arrived.

It was the weekend, so the lights were off and the doors seemed locked. I turned to Chaeryeong.

“The lights are off. Oh right, it’s the weekend. Are we just doing a quick look around outside?”

All I knew was that we were filming at our old school.

The actual shoot plan was mostly her thing.

Actually, now that I think about it, even if it were a weekday, we probably couldn’t have gone in.

Even as alumni, random visitors wandering in during class hours would be a problem.

“No way. If we did that, how would we get enough footage?”

“Eh? Then what, are we gonna break a window or something?”

“Relax, relax. I’ve got a plan. Just wait. I’ll show you some magic.”

She grinned mischievously at my suspicious question, then stood in front of the central entrance of the main building and—

“Open sesame!”

She actually shouted that old-school phrase.

What kind of nonsense is this now?

She reached out and touched the door, saying it, but of course nothing happened.

“What are you doing?”

I asked, dumbfounded, and she awkwardly cleared her throat.

“What do you mean? I’m opening the door.”

She pulled a keycard from her pocket and unlocked the main door.

At first, I thought she was faking it with some old office building card for show, but it wasn’t a joke.

There was an actual beep and the sound of the lock disengaging.

Staring at her in shock, she looked smug and said:

“Cut that clip together with the earlier one, so it looks like the ‘open sesame’ actually worked. Got it?”

“Uh… sure, but… why do you have that?”

“Hehe. I told you, I have my ways.”

What do you mean, your ways? Why do you have your old high school’s security key?

What are you, Kaitou Kid?

“Wait… you didn’t steal it, did you?”

“Of course not! What kind of person do you think I am?!”

“A lunatic who’s so obsessed with content she’d steal a key to her old school?”

“I said no!”