Chapter 15: No, if I had never caught this disease in the first place…

When I agreed to be fed, Sieun looked surprised, but quickly recovered and offered me a spoonful of kimchi fried rice.

“Here, ah~”
“Ah…”

Mmm…! Delicious…!

It was even better than I expected. I knew she was rich, but I assumed she’d always had people cook for her. I was surprised she was so skilled in the kitchen.

“How is it, Yunha? Tasty, right?”
“Yeah… Not bad.”

She looked touched. Why is she so easily moved? I was just being honest…

Honest…?

Wait. What was my honest opinion? Until recently, I’d practically loathed her. But ever since that drunken night, I’d been acting like a spoiled child around her. What’s happening to me?

“Yunha, what’s wrong? Is it… not good…?”
“Oh, no… Just thinking.”
“You seem worried lately. Are you sure you’re okay?”

I nodded, finished the food she offered, and went to my room. I told her I wanted to be alone, and she thankfully retreated.

Why am I acting like this…?

It all started after that drunken night. I drank because I was feeling down, and I was down because of the string of rejected job applications and the random assault. And why did those things happen?

Because of TS Syndrome.

This damn disease was the root of all my problems. This sudden outbreak of TS Syndrome that swept across South Korea. If it weren’t for this disease, I wouldn’t have almost been abducted by that creep. If it weren’t for this disease…

“No, if it weren’t for me getting this disease…”

I knew I shouldn’t think like this. I knew it better than anyone. But if I hadn’t gotten TS Syndrome, Sieun wouldn’t be wasting her time taking care of me, and that creepy man wouldn’t have been publicly shamed. I opened the drawer of my bedside table and rummaged through it.

My fingers closed around a box cutter. I hadn’t wanted to do this. But a wave of self-loathing washed over me. Most people wouldn’t understand how I went from questioning my feelings for Sieun to wanting to hurt myself, but my thought processes were… different.

–Slice

Without hesitation, I cut my wrist. The pain was sharp, but it was a release, a way to alleviate the pressure building inside me. How did I get here? What’s wrong with me?

–Knock, knock

“Yunha? I’m getting worried… Will you open the door now?”
“Just a minute…!”

I grabbed some tissues and pressed them against the wound. The bleeding wasn’t stopping as quickly as I’d hoped. I don’t want her to see me like this…

“Yunha, I’m… coming in…?”

–Burst

She opened the door and froze, her eyes widening at the sight of me clutching a blood-soaked wad of tissues to my wrist.

“Y-Yunha…? What… what did you do…?”