Chapter 15. Faith and Trust (8)

While I can gather my strength, it’s impossible to drag this out for too long.

First of all, there’s the issue of food.

The sleeping Saint, for some reason, didn’t consume food or water, but the rest of us are a different story.

“Shall I be honest?”

Mari said.

“The level I can endure alone was already at its limit. Probably enough food to last a few months at most.”

The food Mari showed me as she said that was no more than a few boxes.

“In such a large city, this was all the food I could find. All those canned goods, bottled goods, and dried foods were scattered and contaminated during the fighting, making them unusable.”

Monsters also eat something.

If it was just slightly contaminated by magic power, it might be possible to restore it with holy power and eat it, but if it had passed through a monster’s body, it’s a different story.

Moreover, magic power had the power to rot organic matter. Even if it was inside canned goods, once it started to decay, it was over.

Even if you purify rotten food contaminated by magic power, it will only become rotten food not contaminated by magic power. Well, perhaps due to the unique sterilizing ability of holy power, it might be edible, but eating such things is something to be postponed until the very last moment.

Mari, me, Ria. Si-yun, Yuri, Gloria, and Davi.

If we have to consume food at seven times the rate Mari was consuming it… indeed, there isn’t much time left.

“…….”

Seeing the reality of it, we were speechless for a moment.

Ria warned me to be careful of Mari….

Is that really true?

Would Mari do something like that, just to hear a single word at the last moment after abandoning all hope? I thought I might, and Ria did say it was possible, but thinking that it would actually happen is another matter.

I wondered if I should try not eating. Just surviving on holy power like the sleeping ‘Anna’… No, it seemed impossible.

That Anna is barely keeping her minimal life going. It’s like hibernation. It’s different from my situation.

“In the end, it means we have no choice.”

Yuri muttered. We were silent.

It was as Yuri said.

The situation is simply desperate.

*

That day, Anna and Ria were the first on guard duty.

It wasn’t because they were being considerate. The guard duty order was decided fairly by drawing lots.

Ria wondered what to say to Anna.

In fact, there might not have been a reason to do so. Even if two people share the same room, they don’t talk the entire time. Sometimes they fall into thought, and sometimes they focus on different things.

But here, if you just get lost in thought, you tend to have bad thoughts. The situation was what it was.

Given the atmosphere, she couldn’t sit right next to him like in church, or playfully trace his back with her fingertips. Ria was the type of person who could grasp that kind of atmosphere.

……It could be the last time.

Thinking that way, she felt complicated about various things.

It was all so sudden that the situation became like this.

Ria was just starting to get closer to Anna. She didn’t know how it would turn out, but she didn’t want to face an unwanted ending before even trying something.

“…….”

Maybe I should try something.

However, even in such a moment, Ria couldn’t bring herself to say it.

While she was contemplating that, the door opened.

The person who came out was Mari.

“It’s not your turn to come out yet.”

Ria said that, but Mari simply replied indifferently, “I know.”

And soon after,

“Let’s talk for a moment.”

she said.

“Huh?”

Anna reacted.

“Not you. This way.”

Seeing Mari looking at Ria and speaking, Ria was inwardly a little surprised. She thought Mari would definitely want to say something to Anna.

Ria blinked, thinking that if that were the case, she would never step aside.

“Ria?”

Anna called out to Ria with a slightly worried expression, but Ria gently shook her head.

“……It’s okay. Go in and rest first. That would be alright, wouldn’t it?”

“Yes. I came out considering that time as well.”

Anna, with a restless expression, approached Ria, but Ria gently placed her hand on Anna’s head.

“…….”

Anna eventually nodded at Ria’s attitude, glanced at Mari and Ria once more, and went into the room.

Mari spoke to Ria after the door had completely closed.

“You two seem close.”

“……Yes.”

Ria replied in a very wary voice. Her hand was resting lightly on the hilt of the sword at her waist. Mari seemed to notice that, but without lowering her gaze that far, she said,

“This might be meddling, but…”

Mari’s voice lowered.

“Do you perhaps have feelings for the Saint?”

“……She’s not the Saint, she’s Anna.”

“I apologize for that. But… that name is difficult for me to say out loud for various reasons. Especially to call someone else. I think you would understand?”

Ria couldn’t deny that.

If it were the same situation, Ria wouldn’t have been able to call ‘Anna’ by her name. Although it would be unavoidable if absolutely necessary.

“So, what did you want to say?”

Did Mari know the wariness Ria held? If she could read that far, Ria thought it was entirely possible.

The only one who calls Ria by her name is Anna in this world. It’s just an abbreviation of the baptismal name Maria.

Even if someone else tried to call her Ria, Ria wouldn’t see it favorably.

Hearing the name Mari, and then hearing about the relationship between Anna of this world and Mari, Ria could easily guess where the title ‘Mari’ came from. That too, was clearly an abbreviation.

Mari introduced herself as ‘Mari.’ As if no other name was needed.

To Ria, it looked like a lingering attachment.

Like not being able to let go of a relationship from which there’s no return.

…….

“…….”

Mari gazed at Ria for a while and then opened her mouth.

“If, as I suspect, you have some feelings for her, it might be best to just say them when you have the chance.”

Ria’s lips parted slightly.

“You might think you can always say it. Because she’s right beside you. You can talk today, and you can talk tomorrow. You think you can protect her, and you have the strength to block any enemy that comes.”

Mari’s voice continued without any change in pitch. A voice that seemed to have completely suppressed her emotions.

“After all, in the end, if I sacrifice myself, that’s enough. Right? Even if I can’t convey those feelings, they won’t remain in the end.”

“…….”

“I don’t know what your feelings are, as you don’t say them. But that’s how it was for me. And I don’t regret it even now. Anna didn’t die. She is, literally, alive. But now she can’t hear my voice. Even if I kneel beside her and say words of regret for not being able to protect things I couldn’t protect many times. Even if I apologize, there’s no answer. And-“

Mari’s eyes blinked once.

Tears did not flow.

But Ria thought her face was simply pathetic.

“And, even if I confess my love, there’s no answer in return. If I could hear her reject me, I could give my life for it.”

“You are-“

“I am a shell that couldn’t die when I should have.”

Mari said.

“Just an empty shell clinging to memories of the past.”

“Why are you telling me this?”

“Well.”

Mari paused in thought for a moment, then smiled faintly and opened her mouth.

“Just think of it as meddling. Honestly, I don’t know myself. You’re not me, after all.”

“…….”

Ria had only spent a few months with Anna. It would be a year in a few months.

Ria herself couldn’t explain why she had developed such deep feelings in that time.

Perhaps if her past self heard this, she would have burst into laughter.

Perhaps Mari couldn’t say anything for that very reason.

And, for a time many times longer than that short period, she’s been clinging to it with regret.

“Isn’t it about time? Go in and rest.”

Although there were still a few minutes left, Ria decided to just follow the words.

After giving Mari a slight nod, Ria went inside.

Anna was already asleep.

She must have tried to wait. In fact, she hadn’t even covered herself properly with the blanket. She was just too tired from the aftereffects of pouring out her holy power during the day.

Ria took off her armor and lay down beside her.

Covering both of them with a blanket, Ria gently wrapped her arm around Anna’s waist and pulled her closer.

Anna’s body was warm and soft. Familiar, but never tiresome.

Before it’s too late, perhaps.

Should I seriously consider it?

Certainly, I didn’t want things to turn out as Mari said.

With her face buried in Anna’s hair, Ria closed her eyes.

Feeling that comforting warmth, smelling the scent, Ria drifted off to sleep.

She woke up again shortly after.

The reason she woke up was the howling of monsters.

Mari’s advice was indeed true.