Chapter 148: A Midwinter’s Night [R-18]

On her way home after closing up the restaurant, Seojin pulled her scarf up a little higher against the cold wind.

Her breath formed clouds in the air, and a worn-out mini hot pack tucked at her waist was emitting its last bit of warmth.

Just then, as she rounded a corner, a black SUV coming from the opposite direction flashed its lights. The headlights shining directly at her momentarily blinded her, and her steps halted.

A familiar shape. The height of the glossy black car, even its slow turning radius.

…Rio?

She wondered if it was his second car, but she knew it wasn’t. Still, her breath caught.

Only after the car passed, its tires splashing through a muddy puddle, did she come back to her senses.

He wasn’t here. And he wouldn’t come.

Seojin, who had grown accustomed to her daily routine, stared blankly after the car for a long time, as if she had momentarily lost her way.

*

Then one day, after the lunch rush had ended and a brief lull settled over the restaurant, the owner poked her head out to Seojin, who was catching her breath on a chair in a corner of the dining hall.

“Dearie—come here for a sec.”

“Yes.”

Rustling, she dusted off her apron and went out to find a young male student standing at the entrance, his shoulders hunched.

He wasn’t in a school uniform, but he was clearly a boy with a youthful face.

“This is my grandson. He just finished his college entrance exams, so I’m putting him to work part-time.”

The owner said with a good-natured laugh, patting his back.

“This is Jooheon. Help our young lady out in the hall. He’s a good, smart kid, so he’ll learn fast.”

Jooheon bowed his head, avoiding her eyes.

“Hello… um, you’re… Noona… right?”

“Ah, yes. You can call me that.”

“Okay…”

Having never seen such a beautiful woman before, he shyly lowered his head.

Feeling a bit awkward playing the role of the elder, which she wasn’t used to, Seojin was the first to offer a small smile.

“I’ll get you an apron before you start.”

After that day, Jooheon, whom she saw often, awkwardly tried to act mature, calling her “Noona” every day.

As time went on, it started to feel strangely familiar.

“Noona, should I get you some water if your legs hurt?”

“Noona, I’ll clear this table. Don’t lift anything heavy…”

Tidy hair and a shy way of speaking. Sometimes, he’d miss the right moment and hand her a piece of chocolate that had melted slightly in his hand, pressing it into her palm and saying, “A snack.”

At first, Seojin would just laugh it off, but it gradually became more awkward.

Though the age gap wasn’t huge, Jooheon was still a dewy nineteen, and his sincerity was too pure… too good to reach her.

The boy didn’t know.

About the marks entwined on her body, the dreams she sometimes had. And… the whole swamp of emotions she couldn’t escape.

But she couldn’t bring herself to push him away, and the next day, Jooheon would still strike up a conversation with her.

“Noona, what do you like?”

“Food? I’m not a picky eater…”

“No, um… not just what you eat, but what you like…”

“Hmm… I’m not really sure.”

Asked this question in the middle of a meal, Seojin quietly swallowed the end of the conversation, putting her spoon in her mouth with an awkward smile that said she hadn’t really thought about it.

Compared to the admirable and innocent boy who planned to travel abroad with the money he earned working at his grandmother’s restaurant during his break, without asking his parents for any, Seojin had many other things to worry about.

For example, a notice suddenly stuck under her front door.

Usually, it was a mix of bills and flyers, but not today. On a familiar bill format, the ink was pressed dark.

[Notice of Rent Increase]

Starting next month, the monthly rent will be adjusted from 380,000 to 480,000 won.

The additional cost will not be deducted from the security deposit. Failure to pay will result in forced eviction.

– Management Office –

The landlord, who had been very understanding of her situation, had changed, and the rent for her single room had shot up.

Seojin sank to the floor, still holding the paper.

“Hah…”

At the sound, a cat on the wall poked its head out. Crouching, she bit her lip.

She had thought she was managing to get by after finding a job, but prices were rising, and she had no money. She felt like she couldn’t breathe.

On top of that, she was also sending money to her parents, who had recently been in a group accident involving a workers’ vehicle.

She certainly wasn’t indulging in any pleasures or luxuries, yet her youth was slipping through her fingers like sand.

She volunteered to work from morning till night, taking on more overtime until she had almost no days off.

The only thing she barely managed to eat were the meals provided by the restaurant. That winter, Seojin spent her days under the fluorescent lights of the shop instead of the sun.

For a difference of 100,000 won a month, she had to become even busier.

*

It was Christmas.

It was a day so brilliant the world seemed to sparkle, but for Seojin, it was just another weekday.

Even after the last customer left, the restaurant was still a mess, and she took it upon herself to finish the final cleanup.

Despite her good stamina, by the time Seojin dragged her stiff body home, the day was almost over.

“Haaah…”

A breath escaped her as she took off her shoes and stepped into the room.

The single-room apartment, lit by only one small lamp, couldn’t be warmed even by her own body heat.

The moment she lay down, too exhausted to even wash up, she heard the sound of a TV from the neighbor’s house through the thin wall.

“Merry Christmas—”

“…”

For some reason, a dull ache spread through the center of her chest. Seojin had never been one to celebrate such things.

She’d let birthdays, holidays, and anniversaries pass by unnoticed, and she rarely had anyone to share them with.

But he had been different.

Perhaps because he’d lived abroad for so long, Rio treated Christmas as something special, more so than other holidays.

There were celebratory parties before and after, of course, but the first person he always wanted to celebrate with was her. He would pull her into a sudden embrace—

“Merry Christmas.”

The man who would whisper in that distinctively low, affectionate voice.

A casanova, yes, but just as charming and bold. And above all, a man who, in that moment, had stayed by her side more faithfully than anyone else in the world.

“…How stupid of me, really.”

She gave a weak laugh. She knew her feelings were just lingering attachment.

But her longing finally made her reach out, and she pulled out the bag she had tucked away deep in a corner.

Rio’s leftover belongings. Tucked inside was the phone registered under Rio’s name.

Seojin took out the device she no longer used—no, the one she couldn’t use anymore.

Tap.

She tapped the screen with her finger.

There was no response. Of course.

“Yeah… right.”

Muttering to herself—a habit that had returned while living alone—Seojin carefully plugged in the charging cable. Then she placed the phone by her head, in a corner of her bedding.

She tried to wait patiently for it to charge, but she couldn’t resist. She reached out, grabbed it, and brought it close to her chest, stroking the black screen as she stared at it endlessly.

Just being able to take it out and look at it after so long. That fact alone felt like the only Christmas present she was allowed today.

A self-mocking smile touched Seojin’s lips.

Even knowing it would be like releasing poison into the heart she had so carefully smoothed over, the thought of the pictures of him in the photo album was enough to make her happy.

When the 1% battery icon appeared on the dead screen, Seojin instinctively moved her finger and pressed the power button—long and hard.

“…”

The brief moment it took for the screen to light up. But to her, those few seconds felt as long as an eon.

As it powered on, she would smile one moment and bite her lip the next.

She was afraid that the phone might have broken while the battery was dead. If so… she was filled with regret that she should have opened it more often, sooner, whenever she missed him.

Despite her anxiety, the screen slowly brightened, thankfully revealing a simple default background and not too many unnecessary apps.

A familiar layout. It was the Seojin of that time, her personality perfectly preserved.

In that moment, ding—

D-ding… Ding…

As the charged battery connected to the network, a flood of notifications immediately poured in.

Old messages, old missed calls, social media notifications. And the past, which had been closed off for so long, came rushing into her hands like a tidal wave.

“…What the…”

The device she thought would be nothing more than a dead phone was still active. The notifications were from her friends, from anonymous people asking after her sudden disappearance.

And among them, one message flashed by.

[Rio] 3 weeks ago.

Winter. Don’t catch a cold.

One message. Just one.

But when she tapped on his number, it was by no means just one.

His messages, likely sent whenever he thought of Seojin.

He had called only once, a long time ago. But after realizing her phone was off and wouldn’t turn on, he had started sending messages to the number he’d deliberately kept active, like paper airplanes thrown into the sky, meant only for himself.

Ding.

[Rio] 23:54, Just now

Merry Christmas

A greeting he had forced himself not to deliver, not wanting to interfere in her life. A greeting that, therefore, should never have been received by anyone.

Something hot streamed down her cheek.

She hadn’t meant to, but the tears came far more easily than she’d expected.

“…No way…”

Seojin clutched the phone tightly and, unable to caress the entire screen with her hand, quietly pressed her forehead against it.

More than anything in the world right now, she wanted to hear his voice.

“…Just once.”

Desperation tightened its grip on her throat.

Knowing she shouldn’t, knowing she had to stop if she ever wanted to break free.

“Just once….”

With a trembling hand, Seojin tapped his contact.

As a painful tightness seized her chest, the call button was pressed.

She might be ruining the safest form of separation Rio had chosen. Instead of remaining a woman in his memories, she might be revealing her pathetic, wretched present.

So, if he didn’t answer,

‘It’s okay… I’m really going to stop this time.’

She took a deep breath, as if she had finally finished preparing to let him go.

With each ring, her heart swelled, only to feel like it would break at the rapid pace.

Her brief hope burned away like the last bit of a wick.

Please, slowly.

Even though the text had just arrived, she knew he must be busy with the end of the year. What Seojin wanted from him now was something very small; it was no longer for him to answer the phone.

Just that she could wait for him a little longer.

She wouldn’t mind if tomorrow never came. She just hoped that for the few remaining minutes of Christmas, the time spent waiting for him would be enough to fill her completely.

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Translated By: Meher (RaidenTL)

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