I Don’t Want to be a Villainess – Chapter 143

Translator: Elisia

Editor/Proofreader: Wojo

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“Did something good happen?”

Seeing me in a good mood this early in the morning, Ha-neul asked.

“Mm? Oh, no, not really.”

Of course, there was no reason to tell Ha-neul about what had happened last night.

It was a secret between me and them.

That person also had a time in their childhood when they used to write.

There was a time when they would diligently jot down fantasies about the life they wanted in a notebook.

Though they said they hadn’t completed a single story like I had.

Still, isn’t that something we have in common?

“…Huh?”

Seeing my expression, Ha-neul seemed to find me quite suspicious.

Honestly, I wanted to return the question to her.

Ha-neul still hadn’t told me what happened to her.

Maybe it was because my mother hadn’t made any major moves yet, or perhaps she planned to endure and keep it hidden until the end.

Well, I did intend to take action myself and uncover the cause.

“So, So-hee, did something happen this morning?”

Now she was asking So-hee.

But So-hee only shook her head.

Of course, she couldn’t read my mind.

Seeing their reactions made my heart flutter slightly.

It felt like that person belonged to me alone.

There was no need to watch them interact with others.

I didn’t have to see them making eye contact with Ha-neul, hugging So-hee, or running into Soo-ah right after her shower.

…

Yeah, I know well that these feelings are by no means ‘right.’

However, this sense of superiority I felt wasn’t something that could be easily erased.

That person, who doesn’t talk to anyone else and only speaks with me.

That person, who only shares secrets with me.

“…Ah.”

Suddenly, unease crept into my chest.

I didn’t know the source of that unease.

Things were so good right now.

I could do everything I wanted, and everything was going just as I wished.

And yet, in one corner of my heart, there was a growing unease, the cause of which I couldn’t pinpoint.

…Why?

“Sara.”

As I was lost in thought, Ha-neul called my name once again.

“Is something wrong?”

It was a question I had already been asked several times.

On Ha-neul’s face, I saw genuine concern.

“…No, nothing’s wrong.”

I answered.

Yeah, there was nothing wrong.

Everything was going smoothly.

So, there was no need for me to worry.

Nothing at all.

*

Another day passed.

Nothing happened.

Oh, when I say nothing happened, I don’t mean it in the sense of the mundane ‘nothing’ from before I used to live my current life.

If we were to break it down into ‘events,’ plenty of things happened.

More than ten kids, whose faces I barely remembered, greeted me.

Three teachers pointed out my behavior during class.

Son A-reum looked at me suspiciously throughout lunch.

The student council president, who I happened to run into while walking through the park during lunch break, avoided my gaze.

My fiancé didn’t show up anywhere near my line of sight today either.

So-hee asked me, “Are you okay?”

Soo-ah asked me, “Are you okay?”

“…Sara, are you sure nothing’s wrong?”

For the fifth time today, Ha-neul asked me again.

She was really persistent.

“I’m fine. Nothing’s wrong.”

Yes, ‘nothing happened.’

If you break it down into separate events, a lot of things happened, but when you sum up the whole day, it becomes just another ordinary day where ‘nothing happened.’

No one got hurt, there were no unexpected accidents, and no bad people suddenly interrupted our lives.

So yeah, as long as nothing major happens, it counts as ‘nothing.’

It’s a simple but clear classification, and I like it.

“Nothing happened.”

I said it again with a smile.

Yeah, if days like this can continue, that’s all I need.

Just like this.

I will do everything in my power to keep things going like this.

*

Lately, Yoo Ha-neul had a lot on her mind.

Her biggest concern was related to her father.

Her stern father hadn’t contacted her since that incident.

He didn’t say anything at home either, and her mother seemed completely unaware that anything had even happened.

Something had definitely occurred, but the frustration came from not knowing what it was.

And, on top of that, there was also the issue of ‘Sara.’

‘Sara’ had been smiling all day long.

Well, to be precise, she wasn’t just ‘smiling.’

She mostly wore a happy-looking expression, but at times, she would suddenly grow distant and thoughtful before returning to her smile.

The previous ‘Sara’…

Well, it feels a bit rude to say this, but her expressions weren’t very varied.

Especially when ‘Sara’ first came into her body—she was almost always expressionless.

Of course, it was good that ‘Sara’ had become more expressive with her emotions.

It was a good thing, but…

Ha-neul realized today that even when someone expresses their emotions openly, it doesn’t necessarily mean you understand what they’re thinking.

She couldn’t figure out what ‘Sara’ was thinking.

The constantly smiling ‘Sara,’ what was going on in her mind?

The smile ‘Sara’ wore and the one the real Sara used to have were distinctly different.

When Sara smiled, it was usually out of genuine happiness—whether she was with friends, feeling accomplished, or enjoying a fun moment.

But the smile ‘Sara’ had now—

She was smiling, but not really smiling.

Her lips were curved in a smile, but her gaze was always sharply focused on something.

And it didn’t seem like she was looking at the person she was talking to.

Whether it was looking out the window, staring blankly at the ceiling, or even when she was looking at a teacher, her expression was the same.

Most likely, she was imagining a certain someone in her mind.

Then, all of a sudden, her face would fall.

It was as if she was feeling some kind of unpleasant emotion.

After brooding for a while, she would slowly return to her smiling expression.

That change was terrifying.

Every time Ha-neul witnessed that expression shift, it confirmed her thoughts:

‘Sara’ wasn’t really Sara.

…And fear started creeping into her heart.

But what about Sara?

It had already been well over two weeks since ‘Sara’ had entered Sara’s body.

April was almost over.

Soon, it would be time for midterms, and both Ha-neul, who wanted to keep attending school, and ‘Sara,’ who no longer had any reason for the teachers to look after her, needed to start studying hard.

But Ha-neul couldn’t focus on her studies.

She wanted to see Sara.

…But Ha-neul didn’t have the right to do that.

Because Sara and ‘Sara’ were one and the same.

Sara had willingly surrendered her body to ‘Sara’ and had retreated into her consciousness.

Ha-neul couldn’t selfishly pull her back out.

In the Ferris wheel, and later in her room, Ha-neul had realized many things.

The more you rely on extreme methods, the more you crave even stronger stimulation.

…What if, one day, she could no longer see either of them?

What if, even though they hadn’t disappeared, one of them could no longer come out, no matter what she did?

Both Sara and ‘Sara’ were precious to Ha-neul.

But that didn’t mean ‘Sara’ wasn’t also important.

“…Sara, are you sure nothing’s wrong?”

That’s why she asked once again.

But as she asked, Ha-neul couldn’t tell if she was genuinely worried about ‘Sara’ or if she was concerned about Sara.

“I’m fine. Nothing’s wrong.”

‘Sara’ replied with the same expression she had worn all day.

Whether it was in response to her friends’ questions, or to the teachers who seemed uneasy under her gaze.

“Nothing’s wrong.”

That was all ‘Sara’ said.

…It wasn’t an expression of ‘nothing happening.’

But what that ‘something’ was, Ha-neul couldn’t figure out.

“…If something is bothering you, please tell us. We’ll definitely help you.”

But looking at ‘Sara,’ Ha-neul couldn’t shake the feeling that whatever she said now wouldn’t have the usual weight of being the ‘right choice.’

It was as if, from this moment on, everything would become unknowable.

Her mind, her heart—they all seemed to be rejecting any further offers of help.

“Yeah, I’ll definitely tell you. If something happens.”

‘Sara’ replied with a smile.

Just like she had answered all day long.

But for some reason, Ha-neul felt certain about one thing when she saw ‘Sara’s’ expression.

No matter what happens, ‘Sara’ won’t tell them anything.

…A terrible sense of helplessness washed over her.

Yes, because what ‘Sara’ was capable of was far beyond anything the others could do, far more than they could ever hope to compare.

“…Okay.”

For now, Ha-neul nodded to her words.

“Then, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

There was a lot to do.

She needed to pay attention to what was happening at home, and it was about time she started seriously studying.

…Ha-neul looked at So-hee and Soo-ah.

Both of them nodded gravely.

Please, let ‘Sara’s’ words not be a lie.

With that prayer in her heart, Ha-neul turned away with an unwilling expression.