Chapter 142: Children Who Had to Grow Up (8)

[142] 22. Children Who Had to Grow Up (8)

Why do children want to grow up?

It’s a question we already know the answer to. After all, we were once those children, weren’t we? Every night, we prayed to someone to let us quickly become adults.

Because, to a child’s eyes, adults are objects of admiration.

They’re cool, dependable, capable of anything, and strong.

It felt like we could finally get rid of all the worries weighing us down once we became adults.

It’s funny how that works.

Because, in reality, those worries only get heavier when you become an adult.

We become shabby, unstable, powerless, and weak.

That’s the kind of adults we realize we’ve become, the kind of adults we end up being.

It’s not that it’s not hard, but that even though it’s hard, we don’t show it,

It’s not that we don’t cry, we just learn to cry in secret,

It’s not that we don’t feel pain, we just make it a habit to say we’re fine,

Actually, becoming an adult might be nothing but loss.

…No, come to think of it, it’s not that there are no gains.

When you become an adult, when you can finally stand on your own, you can support others.

Of course, it’s less ‘supporting’ and more barely lending a shoulder. Even that is so difficult that our legs shake. The maturity we’ve barely managed to build isn’t that sturdy, after all.

But still, we can hold onto those who can’t yet stand on their own.

…No, I take that back.

Becoming an adult is nothing but loss.

Because, let’s face it.

The moment we become adults is when we catch those who can’t stand alone. It’s when we don’t avoid those who are falling towards our shoulders.

Because we care about them so much.

How could that possibly be to our benefit?

***

The boy treated Amy’s wounds while holding back tears. Every time he wiped away the scratches and bite marks from the dog, it felt as if the same wounds were being inflicted on his own heart.

…And every time he thought of the dog’s corpse, still lying somewhere in the forest, it felt like his entire heart was being torn to shreds.

“Si-sister, I’m sorry… Be-because of I stupidly followed you, that’s why…”

“Rem, stop it.”

Amy cupped the boy’s cheeks and turned his face to hers.

“This isn’t your fault. It’s because of that pale-faced Baron bastard.”

“B-But…”

“Even if it wasn’t for you, it was bound to happen someday. You know my temper.”

A dashing smile appeared on Amy’s face. However, the boy could tell it was a fake smile.

Because he can feel her fingertips trembling against his cheeks.

“Don’t worry. I’ll take care of this somehow. I have a plan.”

“What plan…”

A thought suddenly occurred to boy., interrupting his question.

“Sir Sinclair!”

A broad smile instantly replaces the boy’s tearful face.

“Th-that’s right…! Sir Sinclair will be able to solve this. You’re Sir Sinclair’s daughter, after all. So… Sister?”

However, his big smile faded as quickly as it had appeared.

Amy shakes her head with a stiff expression.

“I’m not going to him.”

“What do you…”

Amy shakes her head firmly again. The memory of Sir Sinclair bowing to the Baron lingering in the back of her mind.

“Just trust me. He’s not the answer.”

“…Then, are you planning to hide the dog’s body?”

“No, that pervert will notice right away that his dog is missing. And he’ll also notice the wounds on my body.”

“Then…”

The boy’s face darkens.

“Then, sister, what if I said I did it…”

“Absolutely not.”

Her voice was as sharp as a blade. A decisive voice without a hint of humor, unlike her usual self.

“But Sister…”

“Rem, I just said I have a plan. Do you not trust me that much?”

Then, suddenly, Amy gave a mischievous smile.

“No, it’s not even a matter of trust. By now, shouldn’t you have figured it out?”

Figured it out? A question arose in the boy’s tearful eyes. However, as time passed, the question only grew larger instead of being resolved.

The boy couldn’t understand what Amy was talking about at all.

Finally, Amy, seemingly frustrated, told him the answer.

Pulling the boy into a hug, a forced joy on her face, her fingertips still trembling, concealing her anxiety with a fabricated smile, she says.

“We can run away again like before. Find another cottage like this and wander the world. Just you and me.”

***

[I already have a plan. I’ve been thinking about it in case those suckers ever got tired of me.]

[The plan is simple, we run away to the south, crossing the mountain range behind the village. At dawn, before they even notice the dog is dead.]

[What if the hounds chase after us? Rem, how can you say that after living here. Have you forgotten how thick the fog gets in the morning?]

[The fog will erase not just our tracks, but also our scent.]

[…Don’t even think about us getting caught, tsk! Don’t you trust your sister? Hm?]

[Anyway, sleep as much as you can now. We’ll leave right at dawn tomorrow.]

The boy gives Amy his usual bedding. He decided to sleep in the small room they used as a storage.

Amy naturally objected, but the boy was stubborn. He insisted that Amy should rest as comfortably as possible until her wounds heal.

And in the end, Amy couldn’t change the boy’s mind.

Finally, separated by a thin wall, the boy and Amy lie down to sleep early.

The sunset that had been visible faded away, and the curtain of night covered the sky. The pale moon scattered its light across the sky.

…But the boy couldn’t sleep.

Was it because of his anxiety?

That was part of it. After all, they were fleeing again. There was no certainty that the escape would succeed.

But anxiety was only a secondary factor. What really kept the boy awake was something entirely different.

Finally, the boy opens his eyes and sits up. He opens the cottage door and steps outside. He raises his head to look up at the night sky.

It was a bright, moonlit night. Because of that, the stars were hardly visible. Only the cold moon seemed to be glaring down at the boy.

As if telling the boy to be ashamed.

His face contorts as he finally admits his true feelings.

The boy… was happy about this situation.

How could he feel happy about sleeping alone in the cottage?

Could he not feel as if Sir Sinclair and his wife had taken Amy away from him?

Could he not miss the past when it was just the two of them?

Of course, he knows it’s a contradictory emotion.

He was the one who distanced himself in the first place.

But being alone was better than being abandoned. And Amy’s happiness was more important than his loneliness.

The boy simply chose what he thought was the best option.

…But deep down, maybe he had been waiting for a day like this.

“…I’m sorry, Sister.”

The boy wiped away the emerging tears with his sleeve and murmured.

“…Still.”

But soon, he looks up at the moon again with a determined expression.

Regret only holds you back. If it’s already happened, then all you can do is your best.

Moreover, the boy was now the same age as Amy when they escaped the orphanage. He was no longer the helpless child who was nothing but baggage.

The boy made a vow to the moon.

He vowed that this time, he would be helpful on the journey. That he would do his best so that Amy could regain her happiness.

This time, not as baggage, but as an equal…

“Sob…!”

It wasn’t a sound that came from the boy.

Startled, the boy’s eyes turn toward the cottage.

“Ugh… Sob… Hic…!”

The boy approached the cottage and peered through a hole in the wall.

“Hic…! Sob…! Kuk…!”

He could see Amy’s trembling back.

The sound of her suppressed sobs sound like hiccups. The rags she clutches in her hands rip with a messy sound.

Why, why does the sound of someone holding back tears sound so heartbreaking.

The boy stepped back from the wall and sat huddled on the floor.

Suddenly, the story of the Fairy and the Woodcutter comes to mind.

The woodcutter who stole the fairy’s clothing was able to marry the noble fairy. The woodcutter must have been incredibly happy.

But what about the fairy?

Having lived in the brilliant heaven, how must the fairy have felt after falling to a shabby hut? How many nights did she have to spend holding back tears like that?

The boy looks down at his still-swollen ankle. Was it simply his imagination that makes the bandage tied around his ankle looked like the winged clothing.

The boy is a fool.

“Suggesting to run away couldn’t have been easy for her…”

In this place, the girl had everything. A family, and the love of others.

There’s no way she wouldn’t be afraid of throwing it all away.

And for her, this isn’t the first time

On a moonless night, when they escaped the orphanage.

Back then, Amy could have stayed at the orphanage. She could have been adopted by a good family. After all, being such a shining person, she inevitably would have found happiness eventually.

Instead, she killed the orphanage director and escaped.

Just for one dirty boy.

It was then that the boy truly understood what guilt was.

No, it was closer to remembering.

[I wish I’d never given birth to something like you.]

…Because this wasn’t the first time he’d been the cause of someone’s misfortune.

The boy curls up, shrinking his body. Squeezing his head as he used to do in a dark corner.

As if believing that by doing so, he could tear himself away from the world.

But of course, that doesn’t erase a person. Rather, it only draws the attention of others.

Moonlight seeps into his tears.

As if entranced, the boy looks up at the moon again.

But this time, the moon doesn’t reprimand him. Instead, it calmly shows him the answer.

A way to set everything right.

And so, the boy decided to grow up.

***

A resolute dawn breaks with a hazy light. A thick fog, as always, rolls into the forest that’s tinged with watery shades. The fog is so dense that it’s hard to see even what’s right in front of you.

It’s no mere coincidence that it resembles a theater curtain.

Amy finished leaving a mark on the ground and stood up. Shouldering a backpack with food, she turned to the boy and asked.

“Rem, are you ready?”

“…Yes.”

The boy nods with an anxious expression. Amy cups his cheeks in her hands and presses her forehead against his.

“Sister is going to go get the things she hid. In the meantime, You wait here and finish your preparations. Got it?”

The boy hesitated but eventually nodded.

“Yes. I’ll be waiting here.”

Amy looks at the boy for a long time, then pulls him into a tight embrace.

“Don’t worry. It’ll all work out. Everything will be alright…”

Her cracked voice and the faint trembling that comes through.

It sounds more like something she’s saying to herself than to the boy.

“…Right, everything will work out, Sister. Yeah…”

The boy hugs Amy just as tightly. But his body doesn’t tremble. As if something firm has already settled in his heart.

Eventually, they slowly pull away from each other.

“Then, I’ll be right back!”

Amy gave the brightest smile she could muster and turned around.

She walks into the fog and fades away.

Slowly, as if he might never see her again.

“Goodbye, Sister.”

The boy mutters softly in the direction Amy had disappeared. Then, he put down all the luggage he was carrying.

Instead, he rummages through the cottage’s junk and pulls out two things.

A dirty piece of paper and a broken quill.

Practically, they were nothing but trash. But they were more than enough for what the boy had in mind.

He places the quill on the paper.

What was it that the boy wanted to write?

What message did he want to leave behind?

Sadly, we’ll never know the answer.

Because the moment the boy starts writing the first letter, a shadow falls over his back.

*WHAM-*

A dull sound.

The boy’s small body falls face-first onto the ground. The crumpled paper is stained red.

It doesn’t last long.

Because immediately, a strong hand grabs the boy’s hair and yanks his head up.

“Phew, finally found you. Damned thief brat.”

The hunter, and also the Baron’s head butler, Cromer, grumbles as he slings the unconscious boy over his shoulder.

“So you were hiding here, no wonder I couldn’t find you until now… This time, I have to thank that cocky knight.”

And then, he trudges off.

Towards the place where this story finally comes to an end.

***

*Splash-!*

“____!!”

What woke the boy was ice-cold water pouring over him. He screamed and jolted upright.

“Ugh…!”

But as soon as he tried to rise, he fell to the floor. It was because his wrists were tightly bound with rope.

“…!!”

Fear filled the boy’s eyes as he realized this. He struggled like a fish flopping about.

“Stay still.”

At least, he does, until a blade is placed against his throat.

The boy’s body freezes. He looks up at the person holding the blade with disbelief in his eyes.

“Sir… Sinclair.”

Sir Sinclair averts his gaze with a hardened expression.

Only then does the boy look around, realizing where he is.

Old-fashioned wallpaper and furniture, a chandelier that seems to shine brighter than the stars, but a stone floor as cold as ice.

The Baron’s mansion.

Suddenly, the ornately decorated door swings open.

“Is this child the one who harmed my child?

The boy instantly recognizes him as Baron Böller. Not only because of his pale complexion but also because of the hounds following behind him.

“Ugh…!”

The boy’s body twists as unpleasant memories come flooding back. However, Sir Sinclair’s foot immediately presses down on the boy’s back.

Then, looking at the Baron, he speaks in a respectful tone.

“Yes, that’s correct. This is the boy the residents saw…”

“I did not ask you, Lord Sinclair.”

Baron Böller cuts him off coldly and turns his gaze.

“Head Butler Cromer?”

Cromer, who had been silent until now, gives a leisurely smile. He bows respectfully and says.

“It hasn’t been confirmed yet, Baron.”

Sir Sinclair’s brows immediately furrowed.

“Cromer, what is the meaning of this. Didn’t the residents see the hounds chasing this boy. If he’s not the culprit, then who could possibly…”

“What the residents saw wasn’t just that, was it?”

It was the moment Sir Sinclair’s face turned ashen.

Baron Böller’s eyebrows twitch in anger.

“Head Butler Cromer, I’m in no mood for word games right now. If you have something to say, say it directly.”

“There are residents who saw Sir Sinclair’s daughter running hurriedly into the forest.”

“Cromer!”

Sir Sinclair’s neck veins bulged. But Cromer didn’t even glance at him.

“Sir Sinclair! Be quiet!”

Rather, Baron Böller glares at Sir Sinclair with wide eyes.

“If you speak again without my permission, I will have you removed! Do you understand?”

“…Yes, Baron.”

Sir Sinclair bites his lower lip. Baron Böller swept his hair back and turns back to Cromer.

“What does that have to do with this matter?”

“As you know, Sir Sinclair’s daughter was once a thief who used to steal from the mansion’s storage. No…”

Cromer’s contemptuous looked down at the trembling boy.

“Thieves would be more accurate. Since this boy always tagged along with her.”

How could the Baron not understand the implications of those words.

Suspicion filled the baron’s gaze as he turned towards Sir Sinclair.

“Is this true, Sir Sinclair?”

“…It is. However, my daughter has nothing to do with this…”

“That’s impossible. Your daughter didn’t come home last night, did she.”

Sir Sinclair glares at Cromer murderously. The outline of his clenched jaw becomes visible on his cheek.

“…She has returned home now, Cromer. My daughter has nothing to do with this matter.”

“Well, that’s…”

“Something *I* will judge, Sir Sinclair.”

Sir Sinclair’s despairing eyes turn to Baron Böller. The baron’s cold voice shot like an arrow.

“Sir Sinclair, bring your daughter here.”

Those words seemed to crumble something inside Sir Sinclair. The once strong man uncharacteristically stuttered.

“B-Baron, this is a false accusation. My daughter…”

“I repeat, that’s something I will judge.”

The Baron takes a step toward Sir Sinclair. His thin finger pokes Sir Sinclair’s chest.

“Bring your daughter before me right now…”

And then, the boy finally made up his mind.

“I, I did it.”

All eyes in the room turn toward the boy. His face on the verge of tears, he trembles as he speaks again.

“I, I killed it alone. Th-The Baron’s dog.”

The boy had decided to grow up.