Chapter 14: Questions and Answers(2)

It was less than a week after Marie started dating Emil that Malcolm and Marie shared their first kiss.  

At first, it was just a simple kiss.  

In the dream, Marie told her childhood friend Malcolm that she had become lovers with Emil.  

After all, they were the kind of friends who had shared every little thing since they were young.  

So, the real Marie, watching it unfold, didn’t think to question it either.  

But then…  

“…I’m dating Emil now.”  

“Yeah, hehe…”  

When Malcolm heard the dream version of Marie say this, his expression subtly shifted for a moment.  

The dream Marie, caught up in the conversation, didn’t notice it.  

But the Marie watching from the sidelines caught that faint change.  

From then on, Malcolm started calling Marie out more often, in a strangely casual way.  

“By the way, Marie.”  

“What?”  

“You did well on your exams, didn’t you? We haven’t celebrated just the two of us yet, have we?”  

“Uh…?”  

At first, it was just greetings and small talk.  

Then they went out to eat together to celebrate her success on the exams.  

Along the way, Emil found out about it, and it led to an argument.  

But she didn’t stop.  

“That’s weird…! Why do you keep meeting so often?”  

“I told you! Malcolm and I are just…!”  

“Even if you’re childhood friends, shouldn’t you keep some distance out of consideration for me?”  

“Seriously, stop it!”  

Even though she vaguely sensed Malcolm’s feelings.  

Even though she knew Emil’s worries weren’t just excessive jealousy.  

Marie didn’t stop.  

And then…  

“Marie, do you have a minute?”  

“Yeah…?”  

The kiss came out of nowhere.  

Malcolm suddenly pressed his lips to Marie’s in the empty classroom after school.  

Without asking for permission.  

It was just a brief moment when their lips quietly met.  

Malcolm kissed Marie, who belonged to Emil.  

It was, without a doubt, an act akin to a crime.  

But the Marie in the dream didn’t avoid that kiss.  

“Mmm…”  

Chup, chup…

‘Why…?’  

At first, she pushed against Malcolm’s chest, but as his lips clung to hers persistently, she eventually stopped resisting.  

“Haa… mm…”  

After that, the sound of two tongues intertwining quietly filled the orange-tinted classroom.  

‘H…’  

The translucent Marie watched them.  

Standing in front of the pair, she shed tears in a daze.  

‘You have Emil…’  

She couldn’t understand it.  

She couldn’t believe it.  

It was clearly the same her, yet she couldn’t accept the version of herself in the dream.  

Because that version was undeniably betraying Emil.  

‘When you have something so precious, why…!’  

Even though she knew how much Emil treasured her.  

Marie betrayed him.  

She didn’t know why.  

Was it because the Malcolm in her dream was more handsome than Emil?  

Because he had better grades than Emil?  

Because they had built a deeper bond over a longer time?  

None of it made sense to her.  

She couldn’t comprehend it, but…  

‘Stop…! Don’t come in…!’  

Despite her rejection, the memory flowed into her mind.  

‘No, no… this isn’t my memory…!’  

But as if to deny Marie’s pleas, the memory seeped into her head.  

And bit by bit, it revealed to her the sordid reason why the dream version of herself had chosen Malcolm over Emil.  

‘No… no, it’s not true…’  

In front of the kissing pair, Marie hugged her knees and buried her face.  

She didn’t want to see anything anymore.  

She didn’t want to taint her heart any further.  

She denied it, telling herself it was just a simple nightmare, a fabricated story.  

But…  

Once the memory seeped in, she couldn’t help but realize.  

This memory of betrayal was something she had truly chosen.  

Something she had actually done.  

Not the result of anyone’s malicious manipulation, but purely Marie’s own actions.  

Having learned the thoughts of the Marie in the memory, she came to that realization.  

And the scene continued without pause.  

“Marie… listen…”  

What the dream showed her next was a few days after the kiss with Malcolm.  

A date between Emil and Marie.

The two of them went on a picnic to a place filled with blooming flowers, enjoying a clear holiday.  

But unlike the bright sky, Emil’s expression was dark.  

Marie, who was on this date with him, could guess why his face was so somber, though she pretended not to notice.  

Finally, unable to hold back any longer, Emil cautiously spoke up.  

“Yesterday… did you go somewhere with Malcolm?”  

At his question, Marie, who had been smiling, froze for a moment.  

“You’re asking again?”  

Then, radiating irritation, she glared at Emil sitting beside her.  

“I already told you last time…!”  

“No, but…”  

“I said it! Malcolm is just my childhood friend! My best friend!”  

Emil’s suspicions were, without a doubt, justified.  

And in truth, Marie was indeed involved in an improper relationship with Malcolm, just as he suspected.  

But because of that very fact,  

Marie lashed out at Emil even more.  

“We finally came out to have a good time, and you just have to bring this up here?”  

“Seriously, I’m so disappointed.”  

“You’ve ruined everything. Getting all dressed up, making a lunchbox—all of it was for nothing.”  

Marie spat out sharp words without hesitation.  

And those words pierced Emil’s heart, leaving wounds.  

But Emil didn’t show his hurt; he just gave a faint, apologetic smile.  

“Sorry. I shouldn’t have brought it up…”  

As if choosing to trust Marie once more, Emil didn’t mention Malcolm again after that.  

Marie, feeling a twinge of guilt but brazenly hiding the truth, continued her relationship with Emil.  

About a month after the kiss with Malcolm…  

“Sorry.”  

“What?”  

In the end, Marie betrayed Emil.  

She uttered an apology she should have given long ago, only now letting it slip out.  

Emil, who had believed in her until the very end, wore an expression of indescribable shock.  

And the translucent Marie, watching it all,  

‘I’m sorry…’  

Traced Emil’s intangible face with her hands, tears streaming down her blank face.  

Stroking his pale, wounded face, she wept endlessly.  

‘I’m sorry… *sob*…’  

Unlike the Marie in the dream, she sincerely apologized to the genuinely hurt Emil.  

‘I’m sorry…’  

But it didn’t reach him.  

This was merely a vision of events that had already happened.  

No matter how much she tried to touch him, her hands passed through, and no matter how loudly she cried out, it didn’t reach him.  

And so, Marie could only weep and apologize to Emil.  

“Marie, how could you…”  

“Sorry, but… but I really mean it…!”  

‘I’m sorry… sob, I’m sorry…’  

To Emil, who had devoted himself to her from start to finish, who had filled the loneliness in her heart, she offered an apology for betraying that trust.  

But as if mocking her feelings, the Marie in the dream ultimately told Emil it was over.  

Emil stood alone in the spot where Marie had left, staring at the sky.  

Thin tears rolled down his cheeks, and his hands and jaw trembled with frustration.  

‘So this is it…’  

The translucent Marie, collapsing in front of him, realized.  

This was the answer to the question she’d been so desperate to understand.  

‘The reason Emil can’t accept me… this was it…’  

She had already betrayed Emil once.  

Even after receiving a love so great it could never be repaid, she had betrayed him and chosen another man.  

And perhaps, Emil carried this memory with him.  

That must be why she was having this dream.  

And this was reason enough for her to be unacceptable.  

But…  

‘Even so… no…’  

Marie stood up and gazed at the blankly standing Emil.  

‘I like you so much…’  

She spoke to him, even though he couldn’t hear her.  

Hoping he’d somehow understand her true feelings.  

‘My heart is already full of you… and now I even have the memory of how much you loved me…’  

Feeling guilt, knowing it was selfish, Marie pleaded nonetheless.  

‘I can’t even imagine a tomorrow without you anymore…’  

Though she couldn’t touch him, she placed both hands on his cheeks and looked straight into his eyes.  

Then, Emil’s empty gaze met hers, pitifully.  

‘I’m sorry… I’m sorry for hurting you… but even so, sob, I want to be your girl…’  

Though she’d witnessed this shocking memory, Marie steeled her resolve.  

Because she thought it was still okay.  

‘I want you…’  

Yes, she had betrayed him, but that was a different version of herself from another time.  

It was still okay.  

If it was now, she could turn things around.  

So when she woke from this dream, she’d run to Emil right away.  

She’d apologize, and no matter how long it took, she’d work to win his heart.  

‘I really like you…’  

With that, she made her vow.  

Standing before the wounded Emil.  

But as if denying her resolve, the dream showed her a story she hadn’t yet seen.  

As if to say, “Will you still make that vow after seeing this?” 

Thwack—!!

“Kyaaah! S-stop—! Malcolm, enough…!!”  

“You crazy bastard, have you lost your mind?!”  

“Cough, cough…”  

Emil had witnessed Marie and Malcolm kissing.  

And it was the very next day after Marie had ended things with him.  

On the rooftop, a place filled with memories of Emil and Marie.

Thwack! Thwack!

“Argh…!!”  

“Are you seriously out of your mind? How dare a piece of trash like you!!”  

“Stop it! Malcolm—!!”  

“From the start, it pisses me off that a nobody like you even dared to look at Marie!!”  

Thwack!!

Emil, who loved Marie, naturally swung his fists at Malcolm.  

But the gap in their strength was too wide.  

Emil, who had charged in, ended up being brutally beaten by Malcolm.  

After Malcolm and Marie left, Emil remained alone on the rooftop, sitting there with a vacant expression, his body stained with dust and blood.  

Before him, the translucent Marie knelt and gazed at him.  

‘E-Emil…’  

No words of apology came out anymore.  

The wounds he had suffered were far too great for a simple apology to dilute her guilt.  

‘Sob, hic, Emil…’  

He had lost the woman he loved.  

Despite loving her devotedly and giving her everything, she was taken away so easily, just because someone was more handsome and accomplished.  

And that woman, the very next day after their breakup, shared a kiss with that man—a kiss she had refused Emil—so effortlessly.  

And when Emil confronted that man, he was beaten to a pulp in front of the woman he loved.  

Betrayal.  

That simple word couldn’t define his pain.  

‘Sob, Emil…’  

Marie wept, simply watching him from the sidelines.  

And she could only hope.  

That he would somehow stand up.  

That he would rise, shake it off, and overcome it.  

But…  

‘E-Emil…?’  

Emil couldn’t overcome it in the end.  

He sat blankly on the rooftop until night fell.  

After the sun set, he went to the academy’s gym storage and returned to the rooftop.  

In Emil’s hands was a rope.  

‘No, no!! Don’t do it! Don’t!!’  

Marie waved her arms more desperately than ever while watching the dream.  

Knowing her body would pass through him, she still tried to stop Emil.  

Her face soaked with tears, she struggled to prevent what was about to happen.  

Whoosh!!

But she couldn’t stop it.  

This was merely a replay of what had already occurred.  

‘Ah… ahh…’  

Thud…!  

Swing…, swing… 

‘Ahhh…’  

As if forcing her to look directly at him, the dream transported her to the front of the academy’s main building.  

There, she saw Emil hanging high, perfectly in view.  

He thrashed.  

His face twisted in agony.  

Instinctively, his hands grabbed at the rope, but it was irreversible.  

And in the end, Emil met his death.  

It was dawn when she awoke from the dream.  

But Marie didn’t try to go back to sleep or prepare to head to the academy.  

Even though, just moments ago, she had resolved to go straight to Emil the moment she woke up, Marie buried her face in her knees and stayed still.  

No more tears came.  

Because someone like her didn’t deserve to cry.  

‘Even after seeing Emil like that… I still did that with Malcolm…’  

As she stifled her breaths, the vivid memories of the dream she’d just seen flooded her mind.  

Especially the last part.  

The moment she witnessed Emil’s suicide and then, that very night, slept with Malcolm—it was enough to make her nauseous.  

The Marie in the dream, pinned beneath Malcolm, drowned out Emil’s death with excitement.  

Turning her back on guilt to forget Emil.  

It was the most cowardly act imaginable.  

Because of that memory and those emotions, disgust for herself welled up within Marie.  

“Die…”  

Marie muttered, her face still buried in her knees.  

Who was she speaking to?  

Malcolm…?  

Or perhaps the Marie in the dream…?  

Or maybe even herself, right now.  

“Die…”  

She cursed, regardless of who it was meant for.  

“Right now… sob, just die…”  

She cursed everyone—  the man she had loved and those who had driven him to that fate—  

from the depths of her heart.  

***

Author’s Note

Thank you for reading!  

If you enjoyed it, I’d appreciate a like, bookmark, and a comment!  

Comments especially give me a lot of motivation to keep writing! Thank you.