I Don’t Want to be a Villainess – Chapter 138

Translator: Elisia

Editor/Proofreader: Wojo

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Was there even any particular reason?

Seeing Ha-neul’s expression, I could roughly guess what had happened.

It was probably related to Mother, no doubt.

……Though Mother had neglected me, she had an oddly strong obsession with me.

When I think about how she sought me out last time and told my friends we’d see who’ll win when she left, it seemed Mother did ‘love’ me in some form.

Thinking about that still stirred a fire in one corner of my heart.

Even if it was a different kind of ‘love’ than the love I wanted, I had still longed for any bit of it.

But now, the situation had changed.

There were people who supported me.

There were people who would stay by my side.

As the direction of my yearning shifted and the number of people I focused on changed, the intensity of my feelings for Mother had surprisingly faded.

……No, perhaps it was just that my direction had shifted.

It seemed I was the type of person that loves those who love me.

In any case, Ha-neul seemed determined not to tell me the story, even if she died.

So, I decided to pretend I didn’t know for now.

What could I do if she didn’t want to talk?

But that didn’t mean I could just sit idly by.

That person had put in a great deal of effort to ensure my current situation wouldn’t fall apart.

In particular, even though they had more than enough money, they’d even asked someone to manage their stocks to further grow their wealth and strengthen my position within the company.

That gleeful expression was annoying, but…… since it was someone they trusted, I decided to trust them as well.

Since they worked so hard, I had to do my part to maintain the life they had set up for me.

If there was one advantage I had over that person, it was my ‘memory.’

Even though they were probably reading my memories from my subconscious, it would take time to see all of my memories from the past years.

At least, they couldn’t immediately manifest physically.

But I was different.

I could fully recall all the memories within my consciousness.

Because they were ‘my memories.’

There weren’t many memories worth pulling out from those empty recollections.

That’s why—

I could quickly think of one person.

*

“Senior.”

“Huh?”

A few days after that incident.

April was nearing its end.

The cherry blossoms had mostly fallen, pushed out by new leaves, and the occasional spring rain was making the dry weather pleasantly damp.

Naturally, I started sweating more while running.

The sweat felt excessive, since I hadn’t exercised much before, but it wasn’t a bad thing.

My stamina was steadily improving, and I could confidently run a lap around the field now, which I couldn’t do at first.

I was also eating more types, and larger amounts, of food.

I learned that I ate more when I was with others than when I was alone, and that moving my body helped digest the food better.

Of course, I still didn’t particularly like exercising.

And one of the people who contributed greatly to making me healthier was Nam Da-un, the person I just called out to.

It wasn’t a systematic training regime, but he was the one who ‘didn’t ignore me from the start’ and helped me.

“……Can we talk for a bit?”

As I said that and raised myself from the ground, where I had been lying as usual, Nam Da-un surprisingly responded,

“Oh, sure.”

Though his expression was reluctant, he agreed immediately.

“Ah, hold on. It’s a personal matter, so I’d like to talk alone.”

I told the three people who were getting up to follow us.

“…….”

The three froze for a moment, then sat back down as if they understood.

They probably assumed I wouldn’t develop romantic feelings for ‘this person.’

No matter what each of them thought, they must have come to that conclusion.

“Shall we go over there and talk?”

I pointed to a corner of the field, and suddenly, a whistle blew from behind.

When I turned around, the club captain was whistling at us.

“Wow, Nam Da-un! Go for it!”

……He was misunderstanding, just like my friends wouldn’t.

The captain wasn’t the only one.

The male members behind him were looking at Nam Da-un enviously, and the girls were staring at me as if they would storm over any moment.

……To those people, we probably looked like we were in that kind of relationship.

“…….”

But the commotion died down when I glared at them.

As soon as our eyes met, the captain quickly looked away and started whistling much more timidly than before.

The other members hurriedly grabbed balls and pretended to train hard.

……Even though they knew how poor my stamina was, they acted like that.

Thinking about it, money really was amazing.

They had once disregarded me because of money, and now we were on friendly terms, again because of money.

It was quite ironic.

“Let’s go.”

I spoke to Nam Da-un, who was watching them with an expression as if he found them just as pitiful as I did.

“Yeah, sure.”

Nam Da-un followed me obediently.

*

“Senior.”

“Huh?”

“Senior, you know me, right?”

“…….”

Without answering, Nam Da-un bought drinks from the vending machine.

Clunk, clunk—

The cans fell out, two in total.

He handed me one of the cans and asked,

“Do you still like it?”

It was apple-flavored soda.

“Well, it’s been a long time since I had it.”

Even though my body had grown weaker over the years, I had never gotten close to such ‘unhealthy’ drinks in the mansion.

Not just drinks—snacks and instant foods, all the ‘unhealthy’ stuff, I hadn’t touched since I was nine. It was only this year, following my three friends, that I finally tried them again.

……If only I had been cherished like that, she could have shown her love in a different way.

“……You really are you.”

Hearing Nam Da-un say that, I was startled and looked up at him.

“Why are you so surprised? Didn’t you know and come looking for me?”

“Huh?”

What he was saying seemed a little strange to me.

“When you first came to find me. You knew and asked for help, didn’t you?”

“Huh?”

What was he talking about now?

……Ah, I see.

He must have thought I had ‘remembered’ this person from the beginning.

“No.”

I shook my head.

“I only recalled it recently.”

Of course, what I was referring to was ‘memory.’

No matter how I thought about it, I didn’t feel like telling him that another personality was sleeping within me, and that it was that person who had been meeting him all along.

Even though he was the one who first spoke to the isolated me.

And even though not much had fundamentally changed after all that time.

“Is that so? Hmm, I see.”

He sat down on a nearby bench.

I followed and sat as well, though keeping a bit of distance, just like in the past.

“……You knew from the start, right?”

“Well, yeah. Your face is pretty distinct.”

Nam Da-un waved his hand in front of his face.

I gave him a slight glare, but he just chuckled as if it were amusing.

Pop.

As he opened the can, he continued,

“Still, I didn’t find out about your situation until much later.”

“Is that why you made that face, thinking I didn’t remember?”

In that person’s memory, Nam Da-un had clicked his tongue the first time he saw me.

“…….”

He didn’t answer that.

“What did you mean by what you said earlier?”

“Which part?”

He asked back, spinning the can in his hand without drinking it.

“When you said, ‘You really are you.’”

“Oh, that.”

At my question, Nam Da-un rested his right foot on his left knee, placed his right elbow on his right knee, and propped his chin on his hand.

If the can in his hand had been a beer can, he would have been the perfect image of a delinquent.

When we were young, I remember we used to argue about whether cherry-flavored soda was better or apple-flavored soda.

No, in fact, our first meeting was nothing special; it was just bickering.

“I don’t know if you’ll believe me, but I have this ability to see the fundamental parts of a person. When we first ran into each other again after a long time, you seemed like you didn’t remember me at all. Or rather, something felt… different. You were definitely you in face and name, but I thought you weren’t quite ‘you.’”

“How about now?”

“Even now…… you’re still a bit different. I can’t exactly pinpoint what’s changed.”

After saying that, he finally took a sip of the drink in his hand.

……Honestly, I don’t understand how people can find that tasty.