Chapter 133: You idiot. You just figured that out – 3
by fnovelpia
“…But the memories of him in your mind, they belong to you, don’t they?”
Elena gently stroked Vivian’s stiffened head with a soft touch.
It was careful, just as Kailo had done in the past, but Vivian felt a chill, like a cockroach crawling up her body.
It was an emotion she never thought she’d feel toward Elena, who had been with her for so many years.
“…Memories?”
“Yes, memories. You’re lucky, Vivian. It’s not your eyes, your tongue, or your womb you’re losing… it’s just memories. And with no side effects, too.”
Vivian stared at Elena blankly, unable to believe it.
Was she being serious?
Elena smiled and spoke.
“And it’s not even all your memories, just the ones about Kailo Alan. Isn’t that convenient?”
Unable to believe what she was hearing, Vivian retorted without realizing it.
“Th-that doesn’t even make sense! How could I forget all the time I spent with Kailo…!! We even ate meals together every single day…! Are you saying I’ll forget even those memories?”
“It’ll be a simple fix.”
Elena’s touch continued.
“There’s no reason to worry. The things Kailo did for you will just be attributed to someone else. If they were self-inflicted, as you mentioned earlier, you’ll think they were your own doing. For example, instead of Kailo saving you from the flames, you’ll remember it as Lady Linne doing it… Or, say, you’ll believe you always ate your meals alone.”
“And won’t the version of you that emerges from this be exciting? You’ll be more independent, colder. You’ll think you grew and developed all on your own, without relying on Kailo.”
Elena continued to whisper.
“You won’t feel indebted to Kailo anymore, nor will you be tied to him because of it. You’ll be perfect. Think about it, Vivian. Just think about it.”
“…It won’t even hurt right now.”
Vivian unconsciously looked at Kailo.
He was gritting his teeth, his intense hatred for her written all over his face.
His gaze hurt so much, as her mentor said, that Vivian wanted to turn her head away.
If she lost her memories, would this pain go away, too?
…But.
Without realizing it, Vivian grabbed onto the hem of Elena’s robe.
Then, with burning eyes, she looked down at her and asked,
“How… how can you even say that?”
To forget Kailo.
To not recognize him.
If she forgot him, the only thing that would disappear wasn’t just the pain he caused.
She’d forget the hand he reached out to her when she was trembling in fear.
She’d forget his courage, as he acted for her while suppressing his own fear.
She’d forget the warmth she felt when she embraced him, the overwhelming emotions she felt when reminiscing about their time together.
She’d even forget the pleasure that made her feel like her brain was melting when they kissed.
The gratitude so overwhelming that she felt like crying just by looking at his face—she’d lose that, too.
She’d lose the foundation that had been holding her up.
-Drip, drip-
Tears fell again, wetting the floor.
“How… how could that be the price…?”
“You just have to close your eyes tightly once, that’s all.”
Vivian trembled, speechless, and thought about what she would be like after forgetting Kailo.
Perhaps, nothing much would change.
…Kailo would hate her and leave, after all.
He would never approach her again.
There would never be a chance for their bond to continue.
The memories of the years she spent with him would all disappear.
And if she really forgot him like that…
“…I…”
Vivian bit her lip and spoke.
“…The reason I haven’t burned this world down… was because of the warmth Kailo gave me.”
“Hmm?”
The resentment toward the world that had been hidden in her heart surfaced.
“This world has never done anything for me. It’s always shattered and torn apart my happiness…! But if I forget Kailo… then I…”
Tears streamed down her face once again.
She thought her words might unsettle Elena, even just a little.
But Elena remained calm.
No, she even smiled.
“…Ah, Vivian.”
Elena gently stroked Vivian’s hair even more tenderly and spoke.
“That doesn’t sound so bad to me.”
“…What?”
“If there’s a version of you that grows tired of this world and goes on a rampage… heh.”
And finally, Vivian understood.
She realized she had been deceived by Elena all along.
That Elena had approached her, not for the sake of the witch’s survival, but because she wanted to see Vivian in this ruined state.
Did she bear some grudge against her?
Or was she doing this just for amusement?
She didn’t know.
A great evil loomed, and she didn’t even feel the urge to figure it out.
An overwhelming fear found her.
That fear broke through her armor without resistance.
The weak and useless person hiding beneath was revealed.
And as if by instinct, there was always someone she turned to in moments like this.
Someone she always thought of when she was on the brink of death.
“…Kailo.”
Even though she knew she shouldn’t say his name, she kept calling for him.
“…Kailo…”
“…Is the act… ugh… over?”
But the Kailo of now was not the Kailo she once knew.
He wasn’t the man who always came to her in times of crisis, nor the one who loved her unconditionally.
He was now someone who revealed endless hostility toward her.
Vivian had held onto Kailo’s love for her like a leash, always shaking him up.
She tormented him as if he was her enemy.
…It was something she should have never done.
All Kailo could show to Vivian now, after his love was betrayed, was hatred.
The person Vivian loved most, the only one she ever truly loved, was now baring his teeth at her.
“The… the act… no, it’s not…”
Vivian pleaded desperately.
“How far do you have to deceive me to be satisfied?”
But Kailo did not listen.
The hand she reached out with in desperate hope for help was cruelly trampled.
At her lowest, the person she loved the most pushed her away.
“Or… fine.”
Kailo spoke, tears streaming down his face.
“If that witch’s words are true… and the sacrifice of this ritual is your memories of me…”
Vivian could guess what he was about to say.
But she didn’t want to hear it, not at all.
She clamped her hands over her ears.
Blood from her wounded hands dripped, soaking her face.
“Stop it…! Don’t say it…!! Don’t say it, Kailo!!”
Kailo spoke.
His words pierced through Vivian’s desperate cries, reaching her clearly.
“Then throw it away. I don’t want to remain in your memories.”
“Ugh…! Sob!!!”
Vivian couldn’t even remember the last time she cried this hard.
She couldn’t catch her breath.
Kailo continued.
“Honestly, I don’t even know who you are anymore. The you I knew in my memories… that person is dead. So erase me. That’s better for both of us.”
“No…!! No, I won’t!!”
How could they have come this far through the darkness together?
How could they have endured such hardships together?
“Erase me. I’ll live as if I’ve forgotten you, too.”
“Kailo… sob… please!!”
“Urgh!!”
-5!
In that moment, the threads binding his body loosened, and he was freed.
Elena let out a groan as she spoke.
“Ugh. As expected, it’s hard to hold him for long… You’re strong, Kailo Alan.”
Seeing Kailo’s unwavering form and feeling the impending curse, it was as if something snapped in Vivian’s mind.
Her emotions kept spiraling out of control.
She felt sad, guilty, hopeless, amused… and now anger once more.
Clenching her teeth, she stood up and ran to Kailo.
-at!!
Clinging to his legs, she screamed.
“Why am I the only one who has to suffer like this!!”
Years of pent-up agony spilled out.
“Ugh!! Why is it so hard for me to be happy!!!”
-Thud…
Something wet dripped onto Vivian’s head.
It wasn’t hard to realize that it was Kailo’s tears.
Even so, Vivian kept shouting.
“Why do I have to live a life like this…!! I never wanted to live like this!! I’ve never once wished for this kind of power. I would’ve been satisfied just being born ordinary, with ordinary parents, loving ordinarily, and building an ordinary family!! But why is my life so hard…? Why can’t I just have ordinary happiness?”
Driven mad by her resentment, she clung to Kailo and demanded answers.
“Why is it that other people can find happiness so easily… but I always have to walk a thorny path?”
Kailo tried to push her away for a moment, but Vivian resisted fiercely, clinging to his legs.
“Why did I have to grow up without a family? Why did I have to be deceived by that witch?”
No matter how much she thought about it, she couldn’t understand.
Out of all the people in the world, why only her…
“Why is it so hard just to love you? Other women try to take you so easily!!”
Sobbing, she cried out one last time.
“Why am I the only one who has to suffer like this? Why only me!!!”
“…Only you?”
After a long silence, Kailo asked.
Vivian was stunned by his response.
She felt the man she was holding onto.
A being who, like her, had grown up without parents.
A being who had walked the same thorny path as she did.
A being who stayed by her side through her hardships.
A being who endured, even with holes in his body.
A being for whom loving her was unbearably difficult.
A being who was as unhappy as she was.
Vivian, at a loss for words, felt the strength drain from her body.
- Thud…
His legs were freed as well.
He began to move away.
Kailo stopped briefly in front of his twin swords.
His hand trembled as he reached for the swords.
Vivian could read his thoughts.
The witch must be executed.
He, too, must have been firm in that belief.
However, after a long inner struggle, his trembling hand clenched into a fist.
Even as Kailo spoke coldly, the tears streaming down his face revealed his immense pain.
He left the swords behind and turned to go.
“…If you leave.”
Vivian spoke unconsciously.
“…If you leave, I’ll truly become a witch.”
She spoke as she looked at Kailo’s retreating back.
“And… when that time comes, I’ll curse you myself. So you’ll know the true power of a real witch… I’ll shatter every woman you love, as I always have, to ensure we remain enemies.”
Consumed by a roaring anger, Vivian didn’t even know what she was saying.
“I’ll chase you to the ends of the earth…! And this time, I’ll truly make you my prisoner!! So you’ll never leave me again until the day you die!!”
Vivian knew her threats were nonsensical.
Once she officially became a witch, her memories of Kailo would disappear.
Revenge or curses against him would no longer be possible.
Whether he knew this or simply didn’t believe her, Kailo’s steps did not falter, despite her threats.
Growing more desperate, Vivian shouted.
“Is this really how it ends? I told you no, Kailo!!! I’m speaking from the heart!! You know I’m not lying!!”
- Step… step…
In the end, what was left wasn’t a threat or a prideful pretense, but a sincere plea.
“…Don’t go.”
She begged, having lost everything.
It was the only thing she could do.
“…Please don’t go, Kailo.”
Perhaps understanding the truth in her plea, Kailostopped.
And at her words, he turned his back to her, covering his face with one hand.
His shoulders began to tremble, as if he was sobbing.
“…Haah.”
But soon, he raised his head.
Straightening his shoulders, he turned to face Vivian with a confident posture.
His expression was clear, devoid of hatred or contempt.
If anything, it was so calm it seemed almost indifferent.
He approached slowly, kneeling on one knee before her.
Vivian quietly watched his every move.
- Swish… swish…
His hand gently wiped away her tears.
For a moment, he winced in pain but quickly masked it with a composed expression.
“…Ah.”
And then, the smile she had loved most appeared.
Smiling softly, he whispered,
“You idiot. How many times do I have to tell you not to cry?”
After wiping her tears, he stood, as if he had finally let go of his lingering attachments.
Turning away, he began to walk, as if it no longer mattered whether or not she offered his memories as a sacrifice.
Despite all the means, threats, and pleas…
Kailo left.
As he departed, Vivian sat alone in the now silent room.
She thought to herself,
…If you won’t love me, then who in this world will?
What she felt as he left wasn’t sadness or despair.
It was an emptiness, a void so deep it seemed bottomless.
A hole formed in her chest, one she felt could never be filled, no matter what she tried.
Vivian laughed maniacally before turning around.
Elena stood there, smiling.
Witches are known for worshipping demons.
Only now did she understand what that meant.
Only now did she realize whose words had led her to this mess.
Only now did she see her for what she truly was.
No matter how much of a witch she was, she couldn’t jump from the third floor.
No matter how much of a witch she was, she couldn’t disappear in an instant.
She couldn’t light or extinguish candles with a snap of her fingers.
So…
“…Now I understand.”
Looking at Elena’s smile, Vivian spoke.
“…You were a demon.”
Elena giggled.
And then, repeating the exact words spoken by someone who had once saved her from the fire.
The same words Vivian had once used to reject a man who had begged her.
Elena replied.
“…You idiot. You just figured that out?”
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