Miho (2)

“…”

He silently gazed at me for a moment,

then continued with a trembling voice:

“Thousands of years have passed… yet you remain the same.”

“I”

“Thought this moment of meeting you”

“Would never come.”

“…”

The person who spoke to me was Gija.

There were a mountain of questions I wanted to ask:

How could he exist in this space?

Why was he not dead yet?

What had he been doing all this time?

But Gija’s expression as he looked at me seemed so affectionate that I could not bring myself to speak right away.

I did not know what to say.

I had worried that if Gija and I were to meet again,

I might instantly fall for him.

Why, in movies and dramas,

when couples who were lovers in a past life meet in this life, they fall for each other at first sight… it’s such a cliché development, right?

But it was nothing like that.

I apologize to Gija, but

even looking at his face now,

I feel no emotion whatsoever.

To Gija, I may be the woman he loved enough to give his life for, but

to me, Gija is simply

a figure from Dalgi’s past, nothing more.

I cannot bring myself to say, “The Miho you loved is not me.”

“I know, Miho.”

“You are”

“Not the Miho I loved.”

“…By any chance, do you have a mind-reading ability?”

“You have”

“Never been talented”

“At hiding your emotions since long ago.”

“I can tell”

“What you are thinking”

“Just from your expression.”

“Some things have changed, but”

“Some things have not…”

“It seems…”

…I see?

So the past Miho (Dalgi) and I had similar personalities too, huh.

I can’t help but think I’m not Dalgi’s reincarnation after all.

I did not speak first to Gija,

as he was currently savoring his affectionate feelings while looking at my face.

For some reason,

I did not want to ruin his precious moment with my own hands.

Stomp.

Stompstomp.

Gija approached me.

Swish.

Gija raised his hand above my head.

Pat.

Patpat.

Gija gently stroked my head.

Since having my head stroked always feels nice,

I purred in delight.

Gija gave a wry smile.

“As I thought, you are… not the Miho I knew…”

“Miho…”

“Did not particularly enjoy”

“Having her head stroked.”

“Is… that so…?”

Plop.

Gija sat down.

In front of the massive cycle, we sat side-by-side gazing at each other.

Finally,

Gija opened his mouth:

“Thank you for waiting, Miho.”

“You are…”

“As you were in the past,”

“And even now,”

“A woman with a warmer heart than anyone else.”

“Oh no, it’s nothing really…”

“It is not something to brush off as ‘nothing’,”

“The burden you bear”

“Is something even those who transcend mortality”

“Would not dare to shoulder.”

“…You really do know everything, don’t you?”

“I’ve been watching.”

“Um, what should I call you?”

“I have discarded my name,”

“A lingering specter of the past,”

“Call me as you wish.”

“Alright, then Gija.”

I

looked into Gija’s eyes and asked him:

“Please tell me your story.”

---

Regret.

Regret.

Regret, and

Regret, then

Regret again.

Out of regret for the past, he made the dreadful choice to sell his body to a demon,

and that dreadful choice birthed yet another regret.

Regret begets regret, and the newly born regret begets more regret.

Regret

is an eternal

helix.

---

“…”

For decades,

he killed the fox that tormented the kingdom.

No,

did he kill her?

The fox took her own life, and

the fox’s identity was

the woman he had loved enough to die for.

He liberated the Shang Dynasty from catastrophe, yet

Gija

did not rejoice at all,

for he had directly killed his beloved with his own hands.

He could not rejoice.

However, it was too early for despair,

for ‘Dalgi’ had died, but

‘Miho’

had not yet died, according to Dalgi.

Dalgi said

Miho exists in the future.

Gija believed Dalgi’s words.

Even if Dalgi’s words were lies, it was fine,

for if he did not believe Dalgi’s words, he felt he might go insane from the fact that he killed his beloved with his own hands.

Emperor Zhoushin too had died, and

Dalgi’s death did not completely eradicate the evil she had sown,

so the Shang Dynasty

ultimately met its demise.

With the Shang Dynasty destroyed, Gija was completely freed from his duty to protect it.

The obligation that oppressed him vanished, and

he had no lingering attachments to the secular world,

so Gija left the ruined dynasty behind on a long journey.

…

…

…

Gija made a deal with a demon to defeat Dalgi.

The deal’s condition was simple:

Offer his own body to the demon,

and gain the power of a goblin.

With that goblin power, he defeated Dalgi, and

now it was time to pay the demon for that power.

However,

Gija had no intention of honoring his deal with the demon.

Since he learned Miho existed in the future,

he had to prolong his life by any means until the future where Miho existed.

Gija’s wish was trivial:

Just once would be enough,

to embrace

Miho.

But a deal with a goblin was not something a mere human could reject, and

moreover, the goblin Gija dealt with was known as the King of Goblins.

Eventually, Gija was captured by the Goblin King.

Just to capture a single human,

the Goblin King’s avatar and

powerful goblins called ‘Mi’, ‘Mang’, and ‘Ryang’ paid a visit to the human world.

The power Gija gained through his deal with the Goblin King was that immense, and

that immense power was needed to stop Dalgi.

…

…

…

Hundreds of spears pierced Gija’s body.

Divine Spears,

the authority of a demigod.

Gija knelt before the Goblin King,

and the Goblin King

spoke to him:

[…]

[The multi-tailed fox is]

[An unpredictable existence.]

[You, who shared love with that fox,]

[Have also vastly diverged from my predictions.]

Though it was Duergsini himself who directly shared his power with Gija,

Duergsini’s goal was to turn the cycle.

If Gija killed Dalgi, turning the cycle would become impossible, so

Duergsini did not share enough power for Gija to kill Dalgi.

Duergsini’s plan was for Dalgi to kill Gija and awaken to her ninth tail.

However, for whatever reason,

instead of killing Gija to manifest her ninth tail, Dalgi chose to take her own life and

entrusted her fate to the future, postponing the cycle’s turning.

[Had it not been for Dalgi’s whim,]

[You would have actually killed Dalgi,]

[And if so,]

[The cycle could never have turned,]

[The world]

[Would have returned to complete nothingness.]

“…What does that matter?”

“A world without Miho has already…”

“…lost meaning…”

[…]

Duergsini silently gazed at Gija for a moment.

Gija

seemed to have given up on everything.

He had intended to endure until the future where Miho appeared, but having been captured by the Goblin King Duergsini,

even a shred of hope was lost.

Duergsini then continued speaking to Gija:

[Gija,]

[Shall we not]

[Make a second deal?]

“Shut up, Goblin King.”

“I will no longer”

“Fall for your schemes.”

[If you accept the deal,]

[You may]

[Perhaps]

[Meet Miho]

[In the distant future.]

“…!”

[The multi-tailed fox yokai]

[Is an existence that defies my predictions.]

[Even I]

[Need insurance.]

[You will be my insurance.]

Deals with demons

are always sweet.

Gija

accepted the second deal with the demon.

…

…

…

To counter the great ‘variable’ of the multi-tailed fox yokai,

Duergsini made Gija into his dark side.

In other words,

Duergsini’s divinity was split into two.

Gija lost his name.

Gija lost his humanity.

Gija’s feelings for Miho vanished.

Now, his name was not Gija, but

Duergsini’s other name and

dark side:

Duergsini.

---

“Wait… wait a minute. You’re saying you were Duergsini…?”

“That’s right.”

“You said you lost your name.”

“I did.”

“You said you lost your humanity.”

“I had.”

“You… no, not me… that your feelings for Miho also vanished.”

“That too is correct.”

“But how…”

The person currently telling this story before me

does not seem like a goblin at all.

To my question,

Gija

smiled for the first time as he opened his mouth:

“Duergsini”

“Underestimated”

“The great power humans possess.”

The great power humans possess?

Martial arts?

No, in Dalgi’s past story I saw, Gija did not use martial arts.

The same for Taoism too.

The great power humans possess?

“…What is it?”

Gija,

Duergsini,

gazed at my face affectionately for a moment, then

opened his trembling mouth:

“The heart.”