Chapter 13: Questions and Answers
by fnovelpia
For a moment, it felt as though the world had stopped.
Marie was so dazed that she fell into such an illusion.
But the stopping was just an illusion.
Emile’s cruel voice continued relentlessly.
“…I’ve never thought of having that kind of relationship with you.”
She hadn’t misheard.
“So that’s how it is.”
And so, Marie nodded with a blank expression.
What kind of face was Emile making right now?
She couldn’t meet his eyes.
Because if she did, it felt like tears would spill over in an instant.
But despite her efforts, her tears betrayed her.
Already, with her tearful eyes reddened from tension, tears began to fall freely down Marie’s face.
“Ugh, hic, s-sorry…! This… it’s not on purpose… hic, sorry…”
She was embarrassed.
She wanted to hide somewhere.
Those thoughts kept surging within her, but what tore at her chest most painfully was one cruel reality:
“Emile didn’t like her.”
“Hic… ugh, hic…”
The tears wouldn’t stop at that realization.
And Emile just silently looked at her.
He didn’t comfort her with the warm touch she had once known.
Perhaps that was why.
“Hic, Emile…”
“Yes?”
“C-Can I… hic, ask just one thing…?”
“Yes, go ahead.”
Clinging to a faint hope, Marie let her tears fall as she cautiously, slowly lifted her gaze to Emile’s face.
There, she saw his expression—somehow tinged with sadness.
Why was he making that face?
Marie couldn’t understand.
She only opened her mouth carefully, her vision blurred by tears, holding his face in her sight.
“…What kind of person do you like?”
It was a question she had asked before.
But now she knew.
The answer Emile had given back then was just a considerate lie to help her focus on her studies.
That’s why she was even more curious now.
She wanted to know the conditions to become the woman he’d choose.
“Tell me, hic, I-I’ll try…! I’m really serious…! I know it might be a burden, but please just know that…! So…”
“…Tell me what kind of person I need to be for you to accept me.”
She pleaded with him, pouring her desperate heart into her words.
Of course, she knew.
A clingy girl like her—he might hate that.
But even so, Marie didn’t want to let go of that single thread of hope.
Because by now, his presence had taken root so deeply in her heart that she could no longer do anything about it.
And to her desperate question,
Emile, with sad eyes, slowly replied.
“Sorry…”
“…Huh?”
“Marie, it can’t be you.”
“W-Why…?”
“The reason…
…I can’t tell you.”
And then Emile gave a faint smile.
“You’re a good person. …I’m sure someone else, someone great, will find you soon.”
“Sorry, I’ll head out first. …See you tomorrow.”
After that, he turned away, his smile lingering but his eyes still sad as he looked at her.
And just like that, he disappeared from Marie’s sight.
Until his back was completely out of view, Marie stood rooted to the spot, staring blankly after him.
“Why…”
It couldn’t be her.
“Why is that…?”
That’s what Emile had said.
“Why can’t it be me…?”
In her cruelly shattered heart, two possible reasons surfaced.
Either he didn’t like her.
Or…
There was someone else he liked.
The moment she considered the second reason, a name immediately came to mind.
Sierra.
“Could it be her that he likes…?”
Drip, drip…
“Hic… sob, ugh… hic…”
Marie walked down the path, crying sadly after Emile disappeared.
The road to the dormitory felt endlessly far.
It seemed as though tomorrow would never come.
But eventually, Marie arrived at the dormitory.
Thud.
Without even changing her clothes, she collapsed onto the bed.
It was cruel.
Resentful thoughts crept in.
Just until dinner, Marie had felt as though she owned the world, brimming with happiness.
That moment had felt even happier than when Damian had acknowledged her.
But that happiness vanished in an instant.
Like being forcibly woken from a blissful dream she didn’t want to leave, Marie felt torment.
And yet, despite it all, she missed Emile.
“Can it really not be me…?”
If only she could be loved by him, she’d truly do anything.
Her appearance, her personality, her habits—even her gender.
If he wanted it, she could change anything.
But Emile hadn’t given her an answer.
And that made Marie’s suffering and anguish deepen.
“Goddess… please…”
Lying face-down on the bed, Marie gazed at the moon outside her window.
And she prayed desperately to that moon.
“Please… tell me the answer…”
The moon silently illuminated her, offering no response.
But as if answering her plea—
Ding!
Marie felt as though she heard something ring in her mind.
Meanwhile, in another part of the dormitory, Emile lay in his room.
Before his eyes, a single message appeared:
[Conditions met! ‘Memory of Despair’ activated!]
As Emile saw the message and flopped onto his bed,
Marie suddenly felt an inexplicable wave of drowsiness wash over her.
She had been crying mournfully just moments ago, so she shouldn’t have been sleepy at all.
Yet, pulled by some unknown force, Marie fell into a deep sleep.
**
“What…?”
The sleeping Marie soon opened her eyes.
What she saw was a familiar scene.
“A hallway…?”
She was standing in the corridor of the academy’s main building.
But she quickly realized this was a dream.
After all, it had been night when she fell asleep, yet the scene before her was early morning.
“Why am I here…?”
It was a dream far too vivid to feel like a dream.
It was as if she had just arrived at the academy for the day.
But her translucent body reminded her that this was, indeed, a dream.
And then—
“Ma-Marie—!!”
“…Huh?”
A familiar voice called out from behind her.
The man she had longed to see so desperately before falling asleep.
Emile.
When Marie turned around, there he was.
He seemed to have rushed back from somewhere, catching his breath, holding the hand of a troubled-looking male student beside him.
And standing in front of Emile was none other than… “Marie”.
“What… it’s you again?”
The version of herself in front of her spoke to Emile in an unbelievably cold tone.
Yet, despite her icy demeanor, Emile grinned brightly and proudly showed off the male student he’d brought along.
“Look! This guy’s grades are amazing! Did you know?”
“I know, but…”
“He says he’ll join your group!”
“R-Really?”
At Emile’s words, Marie looked at the student beside him with surprised eyes.
The boy nodded silently, his face still troubled.
Seeing this, Emile straightened up confidently and declared,
“So put me in your group too!”
“What?”
“I told you before, didn’t I? I’d bring an honor student, so let me join your group.”
“Pfft.”
At Emile’s words, the Marie who had been standing still burst into a bright laugh.
“You’re really a weird one, huh? …Alright, let’s do it together.”
“For real? Yes—!”
When she agreed, Emile beamed with joy, practically bouncing with excitement.
“This is…”
The translucent Marie, watching all of this from the sidelines, stared at the three of them with a face full of confusion.
The scene before her was more vivid than any memory.
But it was certainly not something she remembered.
No—
It was a scene different from her memories, playing out before her eyes.
“Why is Emile with another student… and why did I reject him?”
It was all incomprehensible.
That’s why Marie could only watch the version of herself and Emile before her with a confused expression.
After all, in this dream, all she could do was observe.
And so, time began to flow.
“Marie…”
“Hic, ugh, hic… What, hic, why…”
“I, uh… sorry, I overheard.”
“Go away… ugh, I said go… leave me alone…”
Once again, a familiar yet different scene from her memories played out.
“I see…”
But as Marie continued to watch, she soon realized something.
“These are my memories from a different time…”
The reason she could understand this was synchronization.
The scenes the translucent Marie witnessed in the dream soon transformed into memories and were absorbed into her mind.
The memory of Emile bringing an honor student just moments ago now felt as vivid as if she had experienced it herself.
And the scene she was watching now—
where she had just been hurt by Damian, and Emile, who had secretly seen it, came to comfort her—
This scene, so utterly different from her own memories, soon turned into yet another new memory that seeped into her mind.
“I’m watching the story of myself and Emile from a different time…”
How could such a thing be possible?
As Marie observed this other version of herself and Emile from another world, she sought the answer to that question.
“If I study with Malcolm, would you hate it?”
“…Focus on studying, Marie.”
“You can’t even answer this? Idiot, fool, coward.”
“…Of course I’d hate it. Stop asking and study.”
“Why? Why would you hate it?”
The scenes unfolding before her flowed completely differently from her memories.
“In this time, Emile was hardworking…”
But what stood out most was Emile himself.
“And… he likes me…?”
The way Emile treated her was entirely unlike the time she had lived through.
Not only was it different that Emile struggled with studies,
but what caught Marie’s attention more was the tender affection she could feel from him.
“The Emile over there… likes me.”
Drip, drip…
Translucent tears fell from the translucent Marie’s eyes.
Yet she couldn’t look away.
The scenes the dream showed her were what she had yearned for more desperately than anything else.
“When Emile likes someone, he’s *that* passionate…?”
In reality, she had been the one chasing after Emile.
She had tried so hard to win his favor.
She had studied harder to confess to him.
And yet—
“Marie…! I figured out the solution! Here…!”
“Huh? Really? Wow! How’d you do it?”
In the dream, Emile was the opposite.
He looked at Marie with love, sparing nothing for her, doing anything and everything.
Though his grades were average, he worked tirelessly, running himself ragged.
He’d bow his head desperately to others, stumble, and even get hurt.
But despite it all, Emile was smiling.
“I’m jealous…”
Because all of it was for Marie’s sake.
“I’m jealous…”
Emile was genuinely happy helping Marie.
“So… so jealous…”
His actions and expressions radiated love.
And because of that,
Marie couldn’t stop her tears.
Because what she had longed for was right there.
“Is this… the answer to my prayer…?”
As she watched the dream’s scenes, Marie spoke to the goddess she imagined was watching from somewhere.
She recalled the prayer she had murmured to the moon before falling asleep.
“Are you telling me to just be satisfied with happy memories…?”
Another scene turned into a new memory and seeped into Marie.
Now, two sets of memories coexisted within her.
The memory of her chasing Emile, yearning for his love.
The memory of Emile chasing her, showering her with love.
Holding both in her heart, Marie sobbed.
And then—
“Marie…”
The scene she had been watching through her tears finally reached its conclusion.
“I really, truly love you.”
It was after the midterm exams.
“…Ah.”
Once again, a scene unlike her own experience unfolded.
“Will you… be my girlfriend?”
In the dream, Emile confessed to her.
And the dream version of herself nodded, as if she had expected it, though with a shy expression.
“Yes…”
And so, the two became lovers.
The love with Emile that Marie had so desperately longed for today had begun.
The translucent Marie, watching from the sidelines, stared blankly at her dream-self.
A happy smile.
She laughed cutely while talking with Emile.
There wasn’t a trace of tears in that Marie’s eyes.
She looked truly happy.
“Why couldn’t it be me…?”
Gazing at the scene, Marie murmured to herself.
As if searching for an answer.
Not just some “what-if” memory she’d wake up from,
but a desperate wish for it to happen in her real reality with Emile.
“What was lacking in me…?”
She kept muttering to herself.
The dream version of herself must be happy now.
She had gained the precious bond she had longed for so much.
Born a bastard, abandoned by her mother, ignored by her father—
She had finally found a wonderful man who would give her unconditional love.
The dream-self would be happy.
Another new memory seeped into her mind.
Now, within her, coexisted the memory of being rejected by Emile and the memory of becoming his lover.
“Should I just be satisfied with this…?”
But the dream didn’t end.
Even though she had obtained the memories she wanted,
it continued as if there were more to see.
The scenes in the dream kept unfolding.
And then—
“…Huh?”
Marie realized something.
“Marie!”
“Malcolm.”
This wasn’t some kind gesture to comfort her in her sadness.
“What… what’s going on…?”
It wasn’t kindness.
It was an answer.
The answer to the question she had desperately prayed for— why Emile couldn’t accept her.
“No, no…”
As she watched that answer unfold, Marie’s face turned pale, and she cried out.
Even knowing that what she was witnessing was an unchangeable “memory,”
“Don’t do it…!”
She swung her arms through the air, tears streaming down her face.
Her translucent hands passed through the body of the dream-self kissing Malcolm,
gesturing desperately in vain.
But despite her struggling—
“Don’t do it!!!”
The new memory seeped into Marie’s mind.
***
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