Chapter 13
by AfuhfuihgsChapter 13 – A Psychological Aversion
—–CROW—–
For a university student, a free day is like a third or fourth weekend, a dream-like existence.
Many university students in Korea strive to secure a free day, but…
Fewer people actually manage it than you might think.
There are various reasons for this.
Failing to register for the desired classes.
Or attending a school where the timetable is created without any input from the students.
Fortunately, Hansol University, where I was enrolled, actively guaranteed student freedom.
Thanks to this, I was able to secure a Wednesday off, which was a pretty decent outcome.
It was a little disappointing that it wasn’t Friday or Monday, but it was much better than crying over not having a free day at all.
“See? You need to be grateful for the small things.”
“…Why are you in my room so early in the morning?”
“Because I also have Wednesdays off.”
Han Seo-ah also had Wednesdays off, just like me.
If I remembered correctly, she could have chosen a different day, unlike me.
What did she say back then?
Something about it being better to have the same day off if we were both going to have one.
Well, anyway.
That wasn’t important right now.
“Having a free day and being in my room are two different things.”
The important thing was that Han Seo-ah was in my room for no apparent reason.
Han Seo-ah said confidently, as if it were the most natural thing in the world,
“Why wouldn’t it be related? I’m here because I don’t have to go to school.”
“Your house is next door. Why are you here, in my room?”
“So you don’t like it? You should be thanking me for gracing your room with my presence, a beauty like myself, this early in the morning.”
“…Wow.”
A sound of amazement escaped my lips.
Just how high was her self-esteem?
Not only did she think that, but she actually said it out loud.
I always knew she was something else, but she constantly managed to break the limits of my imagination.
“…Retract that statement.”
Han Seo-ah blushed, as if realizing what she’d just said.
But it was too late.
I’d already heard it with my own two ears.
“Retract what? I heard you loud and clear.”
“Pretend you didn’t hear it. I must have been out of my mind.”
“Sorry, retractions are not accepted at this time.”
“Ugh, seriously!”
Han Seo-ah yelled in frustration, but it didn’t faze me. I’d been listening to her strange outbursts for over ten years.
I just laughed at her leisurely.
“You should have been more careful in the first place, idiot.”
“…”
“I should tell my mom. Han Seo-ah declared herself a beauty today.”
“…You’re so annoying.”
“Yeah, and what are you going to do about it?”
“…Ugh.”
“What are you going to do about it?”
Whoever came up with that line, it was well-crafted.
It felt so annoying when it was used against me, but it was so much fun to use it myself.
As I chuckled to myself, Han Seo-ah’s voice, which had been fuming for a while, finally spoke.
“…So, what do you think?”
“Huh? What do I think about what?”
“About me… being a beauty. What do you think?”
“…Suddenly?”
Could there be a more random question?
Asking “Do you think I’m pretty?” at a time like this?
Unfazed by my bewildered reaction, Han Seo-ah continued.
“You can judge, can’t you? Whether I’m a beauty or not.”
“That’s true, but this is a bit too sudden…”
“Don’t beat around the bush. Just answer, I’m curious.”
[Actually, you can take your time answering, Si-woo.]
[I’m just curious. Whether I look pretty in Si-woo’s eyes.]
My throat tightened with surprise, making it hard to breathe.
Was this what it felt like?
When a girlfriend asks her boyfriend, “How do I look today?”
Of course, Han Seo-ah and I weren’t dating.
But it felt similar.
“…”
Han Seo-ah was still staring intently at me.
As if she wouldn’t let me go until I answered.
As if she would keep staring at me like this forever.
It couldn’t be more pressuring.
“Stop staring at me like that. It’s pressuring.”
“I’m staring at you to pressure you.”
“…What do you gain from acting like this?”
“Don’t you know? Your pain is my happiness, obviously.”
[Gain? The obvious gain is Si-woo’s true feelings. I really want to hear them.]
Hmm.
She didn’t need anything else, just my true feelings.
It seemed almost impossible to weasel my way out of this.
As I said before, once Han Seo-ah became fixated on something, she wouldn’t give up until she got an answer.
Telling her my honest opinion seemed like the best option.
“…Sigh.”
I couldn’t help but sigh.
Honestly, there was no need to think too deeply about it.
The answer was already there.
‘She’s a beauty.’
Han Seo-ah was indeed a beauty.
Back in high school, she received more than ten confessions.
She was that attractive, and I, her childhood friend, knew that better than anyone.
‘…But how do I say it?’
It just wasn’t easy to tell her directly.
It was like this:
You know your older or younger sister is pretty, but…
You can’t bring yourself to say it to her face. It wasn’t about politeness, it felt psychologically impossible. Like a mental block. I couldn’t imagine telling my older sister, if I had one, that she was pretty.
This was the sibling dynamic.
It wasn’t a written rule, but it felt like one.
It was the same with Han Seo-ah.
We weren’t blood-related, but our relationship was essentially the same as siblings.
How could I tell her directly that she was beautiful? As I said, it was a psychological aversion stemming from our sibling-like relationship.
Han Seo-ah, completely oblivious to my inner turmoil, urged me casually.
“Hurry up, I’m in a hurry.”
“You’re not in a hurry at all. What’s the rush…”
“Don’t you remember? We’re going out today.”
“…Huh?”
What was she talking about now?
I made plans without even realizing it?
Han Seo-ah frowned, as if blaming me for forgetting.
“You said you didn’t have any clothes to wear. So we decided to go shopping together.”
“Well, it’s true that I don’t have any clothes, but… I asked you to go shopping with me?”
“…Of course! You said you had no fashion sense and asked for my help.”
[Actually, Si-woo never said that.]
[But I really want to go on a shopping date with him.]
“…”
Han Seo-ah’s attitude was so audacious that it left me speechless.
Could this really be overlooked just because she was cute?
But I couldn’t tell her that I knew her inner thoughts.
“…Fine, let’s say I did.”
“Let’s say? You really did!”
“Yeah, yeah.”
I decided to let it slide this once.
Definitely not because of her cute inner thoughts.
Han Seo-ah, who had looked wronged by my half-hearted response, quickly composed herself and looked at me again.
“Anyway, don’t try to brush it off. Just tell me.”
“…Really tell you?”
“Yes, of course. I’m waiting to hear it.”
“…Sigh.”
Why did she get so fixated on things like this?
Even though she was the person I’d seen the most besides my family in my 20 years of life, I still couldn’t understand Han Seo-ah.
“…Okay, you’re pretty much a beauty.”
“Huh? Really?”
“You asked, so what’s with the surprised reaction?”
“Well, I thought you’d say I was ugly.”
That made no sense.
Then why did she ask in the first place?
She couldn’t have asked just to hear me say she was ugly.
As I stared at her with a dumbfounded expression, Han Seo-ah started making excuses, as if feeling guilty.
“Well, think about how you usually talk to me.”
“What did I do…”
“You always call me stupid and an idiot. How could I expect you to call me a beauty here?”
“…That’s a bit of a stretch, even for you.”
“Oh, whatever! Just get ready to go!”
Han Seo-ah got up from the bed in a huff.
Come to think of it, she was lying on my bed.
Didn’t she have any sense of propriety, being in a 20-year-old guy’s room?
“Are you going right now?”
“Yeah. Let’s eat lunch somewhere near the shops.”
“…Okay.”
A question suddenly crossed my mind, but I didn’t ask anything that might trigger her inner thoughts.
I was a little scared.
I didn’t want to hear anything unspeakable like last time.
[Si-woo called me a beauty.]
[What do I do? My heart is pounding so hard. Will I be able to go on a date today?]
And because Han Seo-ah’s inner thoughts, revealed after her unnecessary outburst, were surprisingly damaging to me.
It was an unconscious thought, but…
I felt like I’d made the right decision to call her a beauty, despite my psychological aversion.
—–CROW—–
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