Chapter 128: The Grand Deception (2)

[128] 20. The Grand Deception (2)

It’s only natural, I guess.

The moment I opened my eyes and saw iron bars, I was plunged into extreme anxiety.

You could call it a conditioned reflex.

After all, I had a mysterious history of losing a body part every time I came out of prison.

I desperately try to grasp my mind, still not fully awake. Suppressing the ominous feeling, I organize my thoughts.

Before losing consciousness,

We were definitely being chased by cultists. After three days on the run, we were cornered, facing death.

So is this place a cultist hideout? What’s going to happen to me? No, I need to escape. As quickly as possible, I need to find a way out…

“Grurk… kuul… Emma… not there… purururu…”

The sound that washed away my anxiety turned out to resemble a drunkard’s mumbling in their sleep.

I looked at Clevens with contempt. From his flushed face and the bottle rolling on the floor next to him, he was obviously incredibly wasted.

And the fact that Clevens was *that* drunk meant that we weren’t in immediate danger.

“Haah…”

I sighed and looked around again. And then, things that had been hidden by my anxiety came into view.

Like the bed that was too soft for a prison cell,

Like the food that could be called a feast without exaggeration,

Like the message written on the wall in elegant cursive reading, “Don’t panic!”

Actually, it felt more like a guest room with iron bars.

I felt a headache coming on and muttered to myself.

“What kind of crazy shit is this…”

“Oh, human, you’re awake.”

I turned around in surprise and lost my words for a moment.

Elves. We often call them works of art created by God. How many stories are there of young men who fell in love with elves, and how many tales are there of those young men dying of lovesickness.

And sure enough, the elf standing before me lived up to that reputation.

Slender limbs,

Eyes like jewels,

Facial features as if they had been meticulously arranged by God.

Even her movements were graceful, like dancing to a silent melody…

“Byeeh…”

“…”

Speechless for a completely different reason, I stared at the elf who had just stuck both her thumbs up her nostrils. Her eyes were crossed, and her tongue was stuck out but with that face… Good grief. How the hell am I supposed to describe this?

“Human, you’re being rude.”

“What?”

I blurted out a question, forgetting even basic manners.

At that, the elf looked completely deflated, as if returning to her original expression.

“That just now, was how humans greet each other. You must do the same. Prince Shafiq taught me that.”

…Wouldn’t I, being human, know that better than Shafiq?

I immediately revised my previous assessment. This woman before me was a creature far removed from beauty or grace.

Come to think of it, it’s always been like that.

How many maidens had fallen for Shafiq’s appearance, only to be disgusted by his eccentricities.

The woman before me has to be of the same breed as Shafiq. Or perhaps elves themselves were this kind of species.

But Prince Shafiq?

“Wait, are you even human?”

“…What do you mean?”

“The humans I know are made of flesh and bone. But half of your body is bronze. So are you a ‘bron-man’? Or a ‘human-ze’?”

(TL Note: A wordplay on ‘인간’ human, and ‘청동’ bronze. He’s combining the two words to make up new words. So ‘bron-man’ would be 청인, and ‘human-ze’ would be 인동.)

I revise my assessment once again.

This woman is even worse than Shafiq.

“Anyway, follow me, Bron-man-ze. The Queen summons you.”

“…Wouldn’t ‘Bronze Human’ be better?”

“Bron-man-ze is much cooler. Don’t argue with me.”

The elf said firmly and then opened the iron bars. Her movement was so casual, it made me wonder why they had locked me up in the first place.

“Ah, and also, that.”

As I stepped out of the cell, still feeling dazed, the elf pointed at Clevens.

“Is that human also your companion? Should I bring that one too?”

I stared at Clevens for a moment.

His flushed face,

His ample belly peeking through the gaps in his disheveled priest’s robes.

Not only was he snoring, but he was also grinding his teeth.

My decision was swift.

“No, I’ve never seen him before in my life.”

“Aha.”

“And that isn’t a human, it’s what we call a pig. P-I-G.”

“Oh, so that’s why he has no hair on his head.”

***

When I was at the Magic Tower, I remember reading a book about elves. It was written by some Count Gainer or something, and the contents could be summarized as follows.

‘Elves are the world’s greatest works of art, possessing endless purity and grace. All individuals should strive to live like elves.’

And now, facing the World Tree.

I realized that Count whatever had never seen the World Tree.

Certainly, the World Tree itself was magnificent.

Even when I craned my neck all the way back, all I could see were blue fragments of the sky broken through the leaves. And when I looked down, its trunk, larger than most villages, filled my vision.

In essence, no matter where I looked, here I could see the World Tree’s green and dense trunk in my field of vision.

The tree that was said to exist even before the Heavenly God,

It gently, or majestically, embraced its children in its arms.

The problem was the vulgarity of those ‘children’.

At first, I thought they were flowers or perhaps unmelted patches of snow.

But when they started waving, I realized that they were elves, and when I saw one pouring wine into his nostrils, I knew that they were a special breed of imbeciles.

When I looked around, his behavior turned out to not even qualify as eccentric.

From the guy shooting arrows at a rock to create a pointillist painting,

To the one juggling rabbits while doing a handstand, then suddenly throwing the rabbits at people in a fit,

To another with flowers stuck up his nostrils playing a flute with his ass while standing on top of a makeshift stage,

To a giant elven centipede formed by elves sticking their heads into each other’s crotches…

What would be the most accurate way to describe this scene?

A drunken circus director’s nightmare? A picture drawn by a child who’s been abused all his life?

“Today, my kin are surprisingly well-behaved.”

“…What?”

I involuntarily turned to the elf. She shrugged and replied.

“The Queen told everyone to behave a bit more quietly because guests were coming. That must be why.”

“…”

I decided to just shut up.

After who knows how long I’d been walking while averting my gaze from the reality of the elves’ true nature, I finally spotted a building.

Actually, it was the only building-like building amongst the elf homes, which were closer to hollowed-out trees.

Its walls were granite, and the roof seemed to be made of some kind of strange, glass-like mineral. Every time a ray of sunlight touched it, the roof shimmered with a faint rainbow hue.

“This is the palis.”

“…Don’t you mean palace?”

“Don’t argue with me.”

The elf retorted, lifting her nose, and approached the door.

Only then did my anxiety return.

Right now, I’m about to meet the leader of the elves who imprisoned me. Her motives were unknown, and without my magic tools, I was completely powerless.

It was no different from throwing myself into a stormy sea. I couldn’t afford to be relaxed anymore.

I steadied my heart and looked at the elf standing before the door. Without any hesitation, the elf threw the doors open and said.

“My Queen, I’ve brought…”

“You rascal! Rascal! Rascal, are you trying to turn this mother’s insides to charcoal?!”

“Kyaaagh! Kwaaaaak!”

“Not only did you run away from home, but now you’re even bringing cultists to the World Tree?”

“Squawk! Th-there was no choice! Mother! Kyaaagh! I had no choice!”

“You’re practically begging this mother to perform ancestral rites after dying of stress! Ancestral…”

The elf who was beating Shafiq with a bow stopped when she saw me. Her face was full of embarrassment that soon turn to shame.

Then, Shafiq raised his head and noticed me. With a bright expression, he desperately shouted.

“Vi-Vice-Captain!! Get rid of this old hag right now and save me!”

At that moment, silence descended on the room. If it were a season, it would be autumn.

Because the elf who had been beating Shafiq’s face was slowly turning red.

“That, that is…”

“My Queen, shall I bring a sturdier bow?”

My gaze naturally turned to the elf who guided me. She shrugged as if it were a daily occurrence.

“Didn’t you say last time that you’d smash his legs to pieces so he couldn’t even walk. My Queen.”

At those words, finally, the Queen of the elves, Shafiq’s mother bowed her head deeply.

***

The Queen of the elves and Shafiq’s mother.

Bliss, took a sip of her tea and said.

“I apologize for showing you such an unseemly display. There have been many things happening…”

“Ah, yes…”

I nodded while glancing at Shafiq from the corner of my eye. Shafiq, bound by a strange magic tool, was desperately rolling his eyes.

I could read his desperate pleas for help, but I chose to ignore them. There were two reasons for this.

First, I was certain that whatever happened, it was Shafiq’s fault.

And second, Bliss seemed like an elf capable of rational thought. The fact that she knew how to apologize already made her superior to Shafiq.

“And I also apologize for imprisoning you. If I had left you outside, I don’t know what kind of pranks my people would have pulled…”

I recalled the elf throwing rabbits. And the giant elven centipede crawling on the tree.

“…The prison was definitely better.”

“…They don’t mean any harm. They simply fidget quite often to endure the boredom of immortality.”

So, to sum it up, Bliss had essentially saved us. From the cultists, and also from her own people’s ‘pranks’.

I organized my thoughts in my head while sipping tea. Setting the teacup down, I opened my mouth.

“First of all, thank you sincerely for saving our lives and providing us with a place to sleep.”

“Oh please, it was nothing.”

“…And this might be shameless of me to ask, considering I’ve already received helped so much… but I have a favor to ask.”

Bliss raised her eyebrows.

“Perhaps you’ve already heard from Shafiq…”

“Would you wait a moment please.”

Bliss raises her hand to stop my words. She paused for a moment, as if choosing her words, then spoke.

“Actually, I too have something to ask of Rem.”

Now it was my turn to raise an eyebrow.

“Of a mere mercenary like me?”

“Yes, something only Rem can do.”

Something only I can do?

My dormant suspicion began to creep in.

“So how about we exchange favors? In human terms, I believe this is called a ‘deal’?”

I silently slipped my hand into my pocket. The smooth texture of the magic tool still remaining was felt at my fingertips.

“Please tell me what the favor is first.”

“Actually, it’s nothing much. It’s just that…”

Bliss looked at Shafiq with eyes filled with worry and affection. It was a look I wasn’t very familiar with.

“I would like Shafiq to stay here.”

At that moment, my suspicion melted away.

“You may not know, but Shafiq is a child who has been away from our embrace for 200 years. An unfilial son who even ran away 5 years ago after causing so much trouble.”

Shafiq, perhaps feeling slightly guilty, averted his gaze. But it didn’t last long.

“Furthermore, according to the World Tree’s prophecy…”

“Mother.”

Our gazes turn to Shafiq. Shafiq spoke while looking at Bliss with straight eyes.

“We made a promise.”

“…Your tongue works well only at times like this, I see.”

A deep sigh escaped Bliss’s lips. Then she looked at me and continued.

“In any case, my request is only one. Let Shafiq stay here.”

“Are you asking me to persuade Shafiq?”

“No, I’m just asking for your permission. I heard you’re the vice-captain of the mercenary group Shafiq belongs to. It would be rude of me to take someone from your group without the superior’s consent.”

“…I see.”

I looked down at my teacup, buying time to organize my thoughts. But I soon realized that this wasn’t something I needed to think about.

“Alright.”

“Vice-Captain?”

Ignoring Shafiq’s gaze, I looked at Bliss.

“Do as you please.”

As it happens, this worked out well.

The matter with Irene was strictly between her and me. I had been feeling guilty about unnecessarily dragging Shafiq into this mess.

Plus, his mother was the queen, wasn’t she?

Rather than doing dangerous mercenary work, staying here would undoubtedly be better for him.

“Then, may I now tell you my request?”

“Hey, hold on, Rem, you son of a…”

As Bliss waved her hand, a tree root shot out and covered Shafiq’s mouth. They picked him up like a child and carried him outside.

Dumbfounded by the magical sight, I looked at Bliss. She finished her tea and stood up from her seat.

“Don’t worry, I’m just going to keep him locked up for a while. And please follow me.”

“Follow you…”

“I already heard from Shafiq what you want. You want to know about the war between Alain and the Goddess?”

“…Yes, and Shafiq said that his mother would know…”

Bliss smiled faintly.

“Of course, I know, but there’s someone who knows far more than I do. I’ll guide you to them.”

Bliss led me to the basement of the palace. Unlike the not-so-large palace above, the basement was surprisingly deep.

We descended what seemed quite a long way, but the stairs still didn’t seem to end. It was only after thinking, ‘Aren’t we there yet’ three times that I finally see the bottom of the stairs.

It was a small cube-shaped room, about 16.5 square meters in size. Tree roots grew indiscriminately on the ceiling, the floor, and the walls. In the center of the room was something like a small altar. There was something placed on the altar, but the shadows were too deep to make out what it was.

“This is…”

“The World Tree’s altar. Well, though I say altar, it’s not such a grand place. Only a place where we can commune a bit better with the World Tree.”

I felt my heart pounding strangely as I walked toward the altar. Then, I took a step back in shock.

Because I realized what was placed on the altar.

It was an elf head.

Since elves are long-lived, I couldn’t tell its age just by looking, but

Strangely, I knew instantly that it was a very old being.

I grabbed my magic tool reflexively and stammered.

“Wh, what… is this…”

“Dear, wake up. A guest has come.”

Bliss strokes the head’s cheek while speaking in an affectionate voice.

Her reaction, as if she believed the head was alive. The bizarre scene sent a chill down my spine.

Suddenly, Shafiq’s fierce resistance flashed through my mind for some reason. Maybe I’ve made a terrible mistake.

Could it be that the craziest one in this World Tree was…

“Hmnya, is it meal time already, my love?”

“Huh?”

A stupid sound escaped my lips. Perhaps having heard that sound, the elf head opens its eyes and raises an eyebrow while looking at me.

“What’s this, a human? How did you end up here?”

“Ah, uh… a h-head is talking…”

“I eat too, kiddo. You could call it a miracle of the World Tree.”

I just opened and closed my mouth, lost for words. It was Bliss who saved me from my panic.

“Dear, don’t tease them too much. They’ve come because they have something to ask. They want to hear about Alain.”

“About Alain? Why that cold-blooded bastard all of a sudden?”

“It would appear there have been some issues with the goddess’s seal.”

“Hah… It hasn’t even been that long since my head was chopped off, and now there are problems already? What a headache…”

I managed to swallow my bewilderment and opened my mouth.

“Ex, excuse me…”

“Hm? What is it, human.”

“Who, who might you be…”

“Ah, look at me. I haven’t introduced myself yet, have I?”

The elf head said with a charming smile.

“My name is Sharik. Bliss’s husband, Shafiq’s father, friend of the Ashwood Tribe, and the man who helped Alain put a blade through the Goddess’s neck. In your legends, I’m almost certainly recorded as the Fairy Knight or the Sword Saint.”