Chapter 125: Emotional Deprivation

The Frenzied Sorceress
Vinesha

It was a time before she was called that.

Vinesha was rolling amid the fragments of the sky that had poured down into the underworld.
The evil spirit enveloping Vinesha barely managed to protect her.
Within the spirit’s embrace, she tightly clutched a pendant.

Her chest felt constricted.
Her mind was in turmoil.

Memories she thought she would never recall again — fragments of a distant past — flooded her mind.
Vinesha was overwhelmed.
The onslaught of memories flashed through her head like a frenzied storm, leaving her unable to gather her thoughts.

Perhaps because of this, her memories began to unfold before her eyes like a panoramic scene.

A childhood abandoned by her parents.
There was one thing both her mother and father had said in common:

「We never should have had you.」

Words that condemned her very existence.
Though she had heard them when she was far too young, those words remained seared into her memory.

When she was six years old, her parents abandoned her.
At the very age when attachment forms — when parents mean the whole world — she was cast aside.

And she was left with nothing.

「Why are you still here?」

Starving, parched, and on the brink of death, a woman appeared before her.

Her mentor and adoptive mother.
Marisa.

Marisa adored Vinesha more than anyone.
It was a love Vinesha had never known in her life.

But Vinesha had already experienced the loss of everything she held dear.
In return, she clung to Marisa with an all-consuming attachment.
Desperate never to be abandoned again, Vinesha devoted herself to her.

A lifetime of unfulfilled affection left a gaping void within her.
Marisa was the only one who could fill it.
And so, Vinesha’s obsession was inevitable.

To please Marisa, she threw herself into learning magic with fierce determination.
Fortunately, Vinesha had talent, and Marisa showered her with praise.

For the first time, Vinesha felt the emptiness inside her being filled.
She realized — this must be what happiness feels like.

Then one day, Marisa brought home two more children.

Two younger children than Vinesha.
They, too, had been abandoned on the streets.

A boy and a girl of the same age.
The boy’s name was Grantoni, and the girl’s name was Musica.

‘Why would my mentor bring others? Am I not enough for her?’

Vinesha didn’t like the two newcomers at first.
Marisa’s affection had never been easy to claim, and now it would be divided.

‘I must endure.’

Still, Vinesha couldn’t express her resentment.
She knew Marisa wouldn’t approve of such feelings.

Time passed, and the three children grew.

Marisa soon discovered that Grantoni and Musica also possessed extraordinary talent as spirit mages.
Naturally, Marisa nurtured their abilities, just as she had done with Vinesha.

Though Grantoni was gifted, it was Musica’s brilliance that stood out.
Her talent was far beyond even Vinesha’s.

As a result, Marisa, without even realizing it, often found herself praising Musica.

「Amazing, Musica! Your talent might be the greatest in the world.」

「Heehee, it’s all thanks to your great teaching, Master!」

Musica was an incredibly cheerful child.
Wherever she went, her bright presence stood out.

Because of that, Vinesha had disliked her at first.
To Vinesha, Musica was a shameless thief who stole Marisa’s love.

Yet, Musica was a good child.

「Vinesha, sis!」

The moment Musica saw Vinesha, she would wave her hand excitedly and run toward her.

At first, Vinesha tried to distance herself, feeling uneasy around Musica.
But Musica knew no concept of distance.

Whenever she found something delightful, she would eagerly drag Vinesha along to share it.
Though Vinesha was annoyed by this, for some reason, she could never bring herself to refuse.

On a bitterly cold, snowy day, Vinesha was tasked with preparing dinner since Marisa had other matters to attend to.
She had gone to the market, but she got distracted and returned home a little late.

Though she was older than Grantoni and Musica, Vinesha was still at an age full of curiosity.
And so, she had momentarily lost track of time.

But it seemed fine.
The streets were relatively bright, with plenty of people around.
Only the biting winter wind made her pull her coat tighter.

As Vinesha hurried along, she suddenly spotted a small figure.

It was Musica.

Standing in the snow, she cupped her hands toward a lantern’s light, shivering violently.

Startled, Vinesha rushed over.

「Musica, what are you doing here?」

「I was waiting for you, sis. It’s scary walking alone at night.」

Musica beamed, her frozen hands reaching for Vinesha’s.

「Sniff… I was blowing on my hands to keep them warm.」

Her face was flushed red from the cold.

「Why did you wait for me?」

「Because I wanted to see you.」

To think she had waited in the freezing cold just because she missed her.

Vinesha couldn’t understand it, but she quickly took Musica’s hand and led her home.
If Musica caught a cold, Marisa might blame her.

When they returned, Grantoni was already there.
Compared to Musica, Grantoni was more reserved.

He had lit the fireplace and prepared warm water.

「Sis, here’s a blanket!」

The moment Vinesha sat by the fire, Musica scurried over with a blanket.
After wrapping it around Vinesha, she plopped down at her feet, pulling the blanket around herself too.

「It’s much warmer like this!」

Then, Grantoni quietly slid under the blanket as well.

At that moment, Vinesha realized something.

Ah, so this is what love without conditions feels like.
These children were offering her their affection — not because they expected anything in return, but simply because they cared.

It was the moment Vinesha truly accepted Musica and Grantoni into her heart.

But that acceptance only set the stage for another tragedy.

The deep wounds her parents had inflicted upon her were not so easily healed.

Day by day, Musica’s brilliance grew.
As her talents blossomed, Marisa’s attention shifted toward her more and more.

Though Vinesha wanted to cheer for Musica, an old voice from her childhood echoed within her.

‘If this goes on, you’ll be abandoned again. Just like before.’

Marisa had indeed loved Vinesha.

A Hollow Heart

Vinesha’s heart was like a gaping hole.
No matter how much love was poured into it, it leaked endlessly.

This must be part of growing up.

Surely, once she became an adult, these feelings would disappear.
Such ugly jealousy would vanish in time.
That was what she hoped for.

But the anxiety continued to tighten its grip on her.

Then came the day she, lacking the proper skills, opened the Underworld in an attempt to elevate herself as a spirit mage.
That day, something irreversible happened.

A malignant being that had awaited the opening of the Underworld planted its seed within her.
The memory of that moment was wiped clean.
The seed erased it entirely.

But from that day on, Vinesha began to feel a strange shift in her emotions.
Before, even if her heart stirred with jealousy upon seeing Musica, the love she felt was still greater.

Now, however, it felt as if her emotions were strangling her.
Like a fuse ignited by a flame that would never die.

Vinesha tried to scold herself countless times, to stay composed.
But the seed’s influence was relentless.
It incessantly fanned the flames of her emotions.

「Musica, you have no idea how much I’ve been bragging about you at the Spirit Mage Association lately!」

「Oh, come on, it’s all thanks to your amazing teaching, Master.」

「Even so, this level of talent at your age is unheard of. You’re one of the best among your peers.」

That day, Musica received yet another glowing acknowledgment from Marisa.

‘I’ll never be the one Master is most proud of.’

At that moment, the twisted seed within Vinesha’s heart bloomed.

「Sister, I’m home!」

It was a day when Marisa and Grantoni were away, leaving Vinesha and Musica alone at home.

Musica had just returned from an academic conference, where she had been invited to demonstrate her spirit magic.

「Look, sis! I bought a delicious cream cake on the way back.」

「Musica.」

Musica cheerfully untangled her scarf as she spoke, but when Vinesha interrupted her, she turned to look.

And as she did, her expression hardened.

Because half of Vinesha’s body was no longer human.

「S-Sorry… I guess I reached my limit.」

Tears filled Vinesha’s eyes.

The jealousy and emptiness she thought would fade with time had not.
By recklessly opening the Underworld with her inadequate power, she had summoned a being she never should have.

Following Vinesha’s gesture, the Underworld revealed itself.
She coughed up blood, screaming in agony, consumed by madness.

Musica instantly knew — if this continued, Vinesha would die.

The only way to save her was to cross into the Underworld and sever the connection to the malignant being.
And Musica knew what that would mean for her.

But she ran.

Because Vinesha was her beloved sister.

「Sister, I’m sorry. I should have understood your pain.」

No.

Even as the being controlled her, Vinesha screamed.
This was her fault.
It was all because she was weak.

There was no way any of this was Musica’s fault.

「You know, Sister, having you as my sister made me the happiest in the world.」

Musica summoned her spirit magic.

「No… No! Stop!」

Vinesha’s scream rang out.

But Musica crossed into the Underworld, severed the connection between Vinesha and the malignant being, and closed the door.

A flash of light erupted.
The backlash from the severed link rendered Vinesha unconscious.

When she awoke, everything was already over.

Her mentor, who had sacrificed her life to save Vinesha.
Grantoni, who had been disfigured, his face destroyed in the chaos.
And Musica, nowhere to be found.

In Vinesha’s trembling hands was the pendant her mentor had given her.

Surrounded by the ruins of what had once been her cherished home, she let out a hollow laugh.

The malignant being had shattered her emotional core.
She no longer knew what to do.

So, she simply walked.

With each step, the remnants of her memories crumbled further, fading into oblivion.
She had become empty.

Empty of memory.
Empty of emotion.
A hollow existence.

That was Vinesha.

Flash-

Vinesha’s eyes flew open.

Only the dried traces of endless tears remained on her face.

“Ah.”

And now, at last, she understood why her heart ached so deeply.
She realized the weight of every sin she had committed.