Chapter 12: Tribunal Meeting
by fnovelpia
The War Division Roundtable was, as always, too loud, too tense, and smelled faintly of blood and overly competitive body spray.
Obsidian columns loomed like angry monoliths above the vast stone chamber.
The table itself was an enormous black circle, carved with battle runes and suspicious scorch marks.
Around it sat monsters, demons, dragons, and one very tired-looking CEO in a black rune-covered robe.
Saitou rubbed his temples.
He hadn’t had coffee—well, Soul Brew—in four hours.
The Tribunal Meeting had begun with shouting and immediately devolved into something worse: a presentation.
Currently, Ragnora the War Secretary was mid-rant.
“—And THEN they bribed my wyverns with torture-themed merchandise! Torture-themed, Baalgron! They’re doing TikTok dances with branding!”
Across the table, Seraphine sat in relaxed, sadistic elegance, legs crossed over one another, her dark leather armor shining faintly in the firelight.
Her face mask covered all but her glowing violet eyes, which practically oozed smugness.
“Oh, please, Ragnora.”
She purred.
“I didn’t bribe them. I motivated them. It’s called ‘Performance-Driven Punishment Enhancement.’ I’ve got a whole deck.”
She flicked her fingers, and a flaming PowerPoint projection exploded into existence behind her.
Slide 1: “Pain is Gain: Modern Incentives for a Cruel Workforce”
Subtitle: Torture Division Quarterly Initiative Plan, Now With 20% More Screaming
Kentaro sighed so hard, one of the goblin attendants passed out.
“Seraphine.”
He said calmly.
“You cannot just… infiltrate other Divisions with your incentive programs. We have protocols. There are forms for this.”
She leaned forward, eyes gleaming.
“I filed a memo!”
Balthazar whispered next to him.
“She taped a flyer to a dragon’s tail and screamed ‘Surprise merger!’”
Legion Commander Karazekh, the obsidian-scaled wyrm, huffed loudly, his ceremonial armor clinking.
“She offered my warriors exclusive fireproof whips and a PainPal Rewards Card as well.”
“That’s not a thing.”
Kentaro muttered.
“Oh, it is now.”
Seraphine said sweetly.
“They earn points for every torture session logged. There’s a leaderboard.”
A goblin in the corner cheered.
“I’m number six!”
“Silence, Snargle!”
Ragnora roared.
“We do NOT rate agony like it’s karaoke!”
Verekhon, the silver-winged dragon commander, growled.
“It was a stylized leaderboard. Black marble, engraved names. Elegant. I respect the effort.”
Ragnora slammed her clawed hand down.
“You would, you pretentious lizard candle!”
“You’re just jealous because our pain charts sparkle!”
“ENOUGH.”
Kentaro said, voice echoing with the terrifying weight of his CEO aura.
The room went dead quiet.
Even a goblin halfway through eating a document froze mid-bite.
Kentaro stood slowly.
His black robes fluttered faintly, the glowing runes pulsing.
He activated his Managerial Aura.
The air grew heavy with… responsibility.
“I don’t care how aesthetic your agony graphs are. I don’t care how many slime spas you’ve franchised. This meeting is about unauthorized departmental interference, extortion-based incentives, and—”
He glanced at the flaming PowerPoint, now on Slide 4: “Team-Building Through Shared Misery”
“—whatever the hell this is.”
Seraphine crossed her arms.
“It’s compliance with flair, Your Unholiness.”
Kentaro stared at her for a long moment.
“You installed a hot tub in a swamp.”
“It improved morale!”
“You bribed a slime with scented bath bombs.”
“He cried happy bubbles!”
Ragnora snarled.
“They also stopped following MY orders and started reporting their ‘Misery Metrics’ to her division! One goblin filed a daily pain diary! IN RHYME!”
At that, Balthazar casually pulled out a piece of paper and read aloud:
wVVOUTIlBtyEueOzQTWFQIAtADafTBEUhAMZwUsbNpBZjAdilRAbhFQeQtEXxit“Twas Monday morn when pain did start,
A whip did strike and warmed my heart.
Seraphine said, ‘We value you,’
So now I bleed—but branded, too.”
Kentaro dragged both hands down his face.
He turned to Zara the undead union rep, who was taking notes even though half her face had fallen off.
“Zara.”
He said, voice tired.
“Is any of this… legally allowed?”
Zara flipped through her charred legal binder.
“Technically, torture-based incentive programs fall under the ‘Pain-for-Performance Act, 902-Undead Revision,’ but they must be approved by Legal and HR Division.”
Seraphine raised a finger.
“I got a verbal ‘sure, whatever’ from someone I think was Legal.”
Lilith the succubus lawyer, lounging in the shadows, rolled her eyes.
“That was a shadow duplicate. He’s not legally authorized to consent to anything but espresso orders.”
Kentaro exhaled.
“Okay. Fine. Tribunal ruling time.”
He tapped the obsidian table.
A magical sigil flared to life.
All eyes turned to him.
“In the matter of the Torture Division vs. War Division… this Tribunal finds the following:
- Torture Division is officially reprimanded for bribery, blackmail, and unauthorized swamp spa installations.
- War Division is ordered to reclaim operational control of its legions. No more ‘Pain Ambassadors’ reporting to Seraphine.
- All interdivisional incentive programs are suspended until proper forms are filed—in triplicate.
Effective immediately.”
Groans echoed around the room.
Greg the Orc Intern raised his hand.
“Can we still have ‘Torment Tuesdays’?”
“No.”
Kentaro said flatly.
“You may have Mediocre Mondays.”
The orc looked devastated.
“And Seraphine.”
Kentaro added, turning slowly toward her.
“Any further unauthorized mergers or weaponized morale boosters, and I’ll personally assign you to Audit Duty with the Finance Division.”
Her smile froze.
“You wouldn’t.”
“I will. And I’ll make sure your slides use Comic Sans.”
A collective gasp echoed around the room.
Seraphine recoiled.
“You’re a monster.”
“I’m the CEO.”
***
Back in the Office
Later, back in his oversized throne, Kentaro stared at the newest form on his desk: Post-Tribunal Incident Follow-Up (Form 44B: Petty Reprisals Edition).
Balthazar hovered by with a smug grin.
“So… no swamp spas, no scream charts, no pain pyramids. Proud of you.”
Kentaro sighed.
“I was a middle manager. I used to fight over printer toner budgets.”
“Now you fight dragons and succubi over torture reward points.”
Kentaro leaned back.
“Hell of a promotion.”
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