Chapter 12. Honor and Sacrifice (7)

“I know… that I’m not reliable.”

I slowly began.

“It’s not that… Sister, you are unreliable. I just dislike that kid’s stubbornness.”

Still, as someone who had social experience, he spoke kindly to me.

Towards Ria’s father, who had turned to look at me, I bowed my head slightly as a sign of gratitude.

And Ria’s father looked at my appearance with a bit of interest.

Ria, of course, was just glaring at her father.

“If Ria… stays by my side, there will surely be dangerous things, won’t there? It’s been that way until now. So I understand your concern.”

“…The position of a Hero is a role that does such things. Considering that Chae-eun was the child who would ascend to that position, that much is nothing.”

“But it’s not in front of Father.”

I carefully looked up at Ria’s father and said.

“It’s not in front of Father, and more importantly, if that becomes a ‘lifetime’ commitment, the story changes. Because I will probably continue to live this kind of life.”

The original work does not mention Ria’s father visiting the church. If such an event had occurred, it would have been mentioned at least once in the dialogue between the Saint and Lee Chae-eun, who always bickered.

Therefore, I was worried.

Ria is in a much more dangerous situation now than in the original work. Isn’t that natural? She has already met enemies she didn’t need to meet several times. Things like mana stones are also something I discovered for the first time in this world. And with Ria.

Furthermore, the fact that I almost died once would have been easy to hear if one wanted to. Although it wasn’t public information, Ria’s father is a Hero.

So, she probably thought that Ria could also become like that-

Just like Ria’s mother.

“…Ria, I’ll speak honestly.”

I said, turning to Ria.

“I would be happy if Ria became my knight.”

When I said that out of the blue, Ria flinched and her face slowly turned red. I had seen her blush with embarrassment before, but this was the first time I saw her turn so red.

“But… Ria.”

However, with the words I quickly followed, Ria’s expression also became blank.

The ‘but’ that follows every sentence negates what came before it.

“Are you really okay with that? Are you really okay with living your whole life inside here? Is it really okay to not be able to do what you want anymore? Ria, if you’re coming to see me, you can do that anytime. You can remain friends for as long as time passes.”

Right.

I was in the convent, but just as Ria’s father requested a meeting, Ria could also request a meeting. Even if a nun’s meeting is not easy, considering our relationship, Ria’s position, and my position, it wouldn’t be outright refused.

I could go see Ria. And I could see Ria when I went out to the association.

“But becoming a nun, becoming a knight, it’s different. I would see you every day, right? As my knight, I could immediately eliminate all threats approaching me. But, Ria, that position is truly only for that. You won’t be able to do anything else. Everything you can’t do as a nun. Still, is that okay?”

“…”

At my words, Ria closed her mouth blankly.

Ria’s father just watched the situation unfold.

“So?”

After closing her mouth for a few minutes, Ria finally opened it.

Her voice seemed to be cracking.

Ria was angry with me.

“So, what are you saying? Are you telling me to leave now? Or to leave someday? You called yourself my knight or something, didn’t you? Are you saying you can’t give me permission now?”

“No, Ria. I don’t have the right to refuse your words.”

“What are you talking about now?”

“How can I refuse such dazzlingly pure kindness?”

“…”

At my words, Ria looked a little dazed.

Her flushed face did not return to its original color at all.

I felt a little sad.

Right.

Let’s be honest.

I don’t… dislike Ria. Rather, in terms of feelings, it’s closer to liking her.

My inner self is still male even after so much time has passed- I find Ria attractive. With such a beautiful face, and being so kind and cheerful, I am a being whose emotions are inevitably swayed.

A being too far removed from being a Saint.

And because of that, I was also a little afraid of Ria.

I wondered if Ria, who approached me with such pure kindness, would one day consider my thoughts dirty when she found out.

Would she consider them disgusting?

Still, I understand. Living in the same convent, showering with only a door between us, changing clothes right behind me, posing for photos in swimsuits, touching each other.

I think she would definitely feel uncomfortable if I had impure thoughts about it.

But that’s why I can’t refuse. I was so afraid of hurting someone who harbored such feelings.

“But that’s why I’m asking. Because of that kindness, are you afraid you’ll have to give something up?”

“…What about you?”

“…”

“If I decide to stay here, what will you do? Will you still arbitrarily send me away, telling me to live doing what I want?”

“…No.”

“Then?”

“To put it again, I don’t refuse that kindness. I don’t want to either. However, I will prepare myself accordingly.”

“Prepare?”

“As much as Ria protects me, I will protect Ria too.”

“…”

Right. This is sincere.

I have to do it, even if it means sacrificing myself.

This… is not simply a matter of repaying kindness. Don’t I feel those kinds of emotions towards Ria?

Ria is someone who can do many things in the future. Of course, I can too, but given the current situation, it seems I can’t live completely freely.

Moreover, I am someone who has lived through a past life. If it’s an unavoidable situation, Ria’s life is much more precious.

Ah, but I’m not going to sacrifice myself recklessly.

“Hey.”

Before I could continue speaking, Ria cut me off.

Then she jumped up from her seat and approached me.

“You. You called me your knight, didn’t you?”

“…Yes. I still think so-“

“Do you know what a knight is?”

…Uh, a relationship bound by loyalty to a lord?

Of course, I know that the relationship between a medieval knight and a lord isn’t just that. Loyalty is originally like a service provided for money. It’s not that there weren’t knights with picturesque loyalty, but generally, that’s how it is.

However, it doesn’t seem like Ria is saying that out of financial need.

“Honor.”

Ria said that.

“In modern times, the profession of a knight is practically an honorary position. Receiving medals from other countries, and this religious order of knights, too. It’s a position that cannot be held without honor.”

“…Is that so?”

“Yes. And, being your knight means that protecting you is protecting my honor, you know?”

Ria said, looking down at me.

“So, don’t say such things carelessly. Because it’s me who protects you. Or are you saying you want to take away my honor now?”

I couldn’t refute her words.

As I hesitated, Ria delivered an additional blow.

“And, you plan to quit even if you become a Saint.”

“Kyaa!?”

At those words, I was startled and looked back at Ria’s father. His face, looking this way, was more of a smirk than shock, but I quickly raised my hand to cover Ria’s mouth.

However, my hand was caught by Ria and pulled apart to the sides.

Ria was grinning.

“Why? You said you’d quit, right? Aren’t you going to be free anyway? Then, all you have to do is do it until then, so why are you speaking so dramatically, huh? No, wasn’t your goal from the start not to become a Saint? You said you don’t believe in God or anything?”

“Ack, ack, ack, ack! What are you saying!? Someone else can hear us!?”

“No, I don’t understand. You speak so confidently in front of others, and you even tried to conspire with the devil’s advocate, so why are you acting like this in front of my dad now?”

Because!

That’s why!

So, huh!?

All the words I said just before become meaningless!

The resolve I made becomes embarrassing!

I was serious! I said it with a certain resolve, wasn’t I!?

Can’t you consider the worst-case scenario!?

“Kkuh.”

As I struggled to escape Ria’s grasp, I heard a sound from behind.

“Ha, hahahahaha!”

It was Ria’s father’s laughter.

It was a hearty laugh, just like his appearance.

Ah.

I want to shrink.

I just want to completely shrink and become a worm or a slug somewhere.

Let me hide in the ground.

I cautiously turned around, and Ria’s father was holding his stomach, laughing heartily, waving his hand a few times towards us, then turned and left the room.

And as he was about to leave-

Peek.

He poked his face around the edge of the door and gave me a thumbs-up.

And then he really left.

“…Sniff.”

Ah, I’m getting a runny nose.

And tears too.

Although it was a little bit.