Chapter 12. Honor and Sacrifice (15)

That small mana sphere- no, mana point, was small enough to fit into my hand.

However, as I knelt before it, the mana point twitched.

I see.

Indeed, this was a prelude to something.

Perhaps I arrived too early. Perhaps the Pope was originally supposed to succumb and die, and something was planned to happen afterward.

Perhaps the group that attacked the Saint in the original work emerged through this.

I don’t know how I ended up from Rome, Italy, to Seoul, Korea- but there must have been a way.

“It doesn’t matter anymore, though.”

Looking at the mana point wriggling as if having a seizure, I said.

“…You were in a hurry, weren’t you?”

I grinned.

“Because I’m here.”

They must have thought they had to make something happen quickly, even if it meant killing the Pope.

Shak.

The mana point suddenly burst as if it couldn’t wait any longer-

Crack!

-but it couldn’t.

“Kkuh…!”

The moment I grasped it, the pain I felt in my hand made me tremble slightly. It felt like thorns were embedded all over my hand. Those thorns were heated, and as they dug into my hand, I felt an immense pain so strong it made me shudder.

But even with that pain, I didn’t let go of my hand.

So this must have felt.

Even without directly touching the mana point, the Pope, whose body was much closer to that of an ordinary human than mine, must have felt much greater pain.

He had been steadily suppressing it for over a decade, without passing the pain onto others.

Even when a being capable of replacing him arrived, he held onto it until the very end.

Some might call it stubbornness- but if he had passed it on to someone else, what would people have said?

It would have been the responsibility of the highest being, the most devout.

“…”

I gritted my teeth and squeezed it with my hand as if to crush it.

Drip. Drip.

Through my fingers, the glowing mana melted and dripped. It seemed to be trying to escape. As if it possessed intelligence in itself, it tried to slip through my fingers.

But the falling droplets of mana vanished before they even touched the ground. My holy power was not that weak.

A little more, a little more.

Just as I have always done-

-You don’t have to suffer like this.

Something spoke directly into my mind.

The low voice was one I had heard before. The yellow eyes that spoke to me.

As I slowly opened my eyes, I saw something looking down at me from above.

-For what purpose do you do this? For the one who will place you upon the throne of suffering, or because you want to die early?

I see.

This kind of talk, I wasn’t the only one hearing it.

I think I understand a little why the Pope didn’t want to hand it over to me.

If you hand it over to someone irresponsible, they will only fall into temptation. If you let go of your hand at the words that there’s no reason to suffer, it ultimately means handing over the decision-making power to that being.

-Do you do all that for the being that gives you power and makes you suffer? For someone you don’t even consider God?

I can’t hear the voice.

Instead of the voice that always cheered me on whenever I fought, there was only a voice trying to persuade me like that now.

-It might not be entirely bad. You’ve seen monsters before, haven’t you? Those you saved were also monsters. Beings that can think and converse. We are the same.

Yes, that must be it.

Because they can think and converse, they are trying to persuade me like this. Who wouldn’t know that?

However, humans are the same.

Humans can also think and converse. Yet, murder cases occur, and sometimes massacres follow. People kill and desecrate bodies for beliefs that amount to nothing.

And I have seen what those who use this mana intend to do.

Naturally, I don’t believe them just because they can talk.

-Let’s make a deal.

It said.

-We want land. We want a place to spread our gospel. We will not treat you badly.

“You’ve been chattering incessantly, it’s noisy.”

I can’t concentrate at all.

I looked directly into those eyes.

“If I weren’t here, you wouldn’t even be saying such things.”

The other party was silent for a moment at my words.

“If you’re saying that just because of me, I hope you wake up from your dream. How can I trust someone who invades someone without any means of negotiation from the start? If you all start coming in here, I won’t be able to block it all by myself.”

Give me territory? That’s bullshit.

First of all, the territory of this world does not belong to humans. It’s just that if we encounter each other more on nature, we’ll fight, so we’ve drawn arbitrary lines and agreed not to cross them.

And if they break that promise, which country would welcome it?

Before sovereignty or anything else, I have no right to do that.

Ah, it’s fortunate it’s not the Pope. Even if I said yes because I was in too much pain, my words would have no meaning.

I decided not to listen any longer.

Religiously speaking, would that be a devil’s whisper?

Seeing a being that wouldn’t even utter the letter ‘n’ of negotiation normally saying such things- it means my power is that effective.

I looked higher.

As a believer looks up to God.

-…………!

It cried out something, but I couldn’t hear it well anymore.

Ah, my hand hurts.

Now, not just from the inside, but from the outside too.

-You don’t have to suffer that much….

What, why are you saying the same thing?

But at the difference in emotion I felt from that voice, I couldn’t help but laugh.

-….

The voice was silent for a moment.

-Are you resentful of me?

“I used to be.”

I said refreshingly.

“But, to be honest, not anymore.”

-Is that because you trust me?

“Let’s just say that.”

-You give such a pure answer….

“How can I be as pure as you?”

I said with a laugh. I couldn’t help it. Not just my hands, but the pain that felt like it was burning from within.

It is resisting. It has caused an explosion from within. The reason my hand isn’t shredded is probably because the being above is lending me a lot of power.

Thanks to that, blood gushed from the back of my hand.

My hand felt like it was on fire.

-Any more than this….

“Wait a minute. Let me ask just one thing.”

I said, breaking out in a cold sweat on my forehead.

“What happened to me?”

I asked the one thing I was truly curious about.

“Did I really get sent here because I complained to you? Because that would be a bit disappointing.”

-….

The being was silent for a moment, then slowly opened its mouth.

-It was an accident.

“A dump truck?”

-How did you know?

“I saw it, well.”

It’s a cliché.

“…Was it really just an accident?”

-I tried to save a child.

“Is that child safe? I hope they are safe.”

-…You ask that even in such a situation.

For some reason, the voice sounded sulky.

“If not, it would be too futile.”

Something came out of my mouth.

It was blood.

It feels like I’m really reaching my limit.

Just as I thought that, the burning pain in the back of my hand suddenly lessened.

-Your friend is helping you.

Ria.

-But, there’s no more time….

“Was the child safe?”

-…They were safe.

“That’s a relief.”

-Are you relieved that you died?

“If I saved one person and died, I can’t say I lived in vain.”

I could no longer hear the tempting voice.

Ha, what a weakling. Can’t even win against two twenty-year-olds?

My consciousness was slowly fading.

Still, there was one more thing I wanted to ask-

“…I think I lived a good life, in my own way.”

-Of course.

“I tried my best to help, in my own way.”

-That’s right.

“…Although my intentions were a bit impure.”

-….

“Did I live a good life? Even without believing in God, was it a decent life?”

-That is not something I can judge alone.

What I wanted was an answer, but what I received was a question.

-Do you think you lived well? Living for someone else until the very last moment.

I laughed.

That was the answer.

*

Ria’s hands were covered in blood.

Hearing the sound of breaking, I quickly clasped my hands, but I couldn’t completely stop the blood from flowing.

All Ria could do was hold hands together.

She could cut through the light. But that wasn’t what Anna wanted.

Protecting Anna also meant protecting her conviction.

I have no intention of standing by and watching Anna’s sacrifice, but at least I want to protect her conviction as long as it’s not dangerous.

Is it my imagination?

After holding her hand, Anna’s face seems to have lost its pain.

Her expression, with a faint smile on her lips, was serene.

Pain arose in my hand. A burning pain from where Anna’s hand was touching.

I didn’t let go of my hand.

The fact that there are no wounds on my hand- is it because of the holy power?

Suddenly, I thought I heard a sound.

-I promise you one thing.

I didn’t know whose voice it was, but somehow Ria seemed to know its owner.

And the reason she could hear that voice.

The holy power overflowing from Ria’s hand was flowing through Anna’s hand.

-I will ensure that your devotion is rewarded. That your efforts are not in vain….

A voice that sounded like a child’s promise, a voice that made me feel unexpectedly pleased even in this situation.

Ria didn’t think of it as a revelation.

It was simply the power willingly lent by someone who wanted to save the world.

Yes, it was just as Anna said.

Ria gripped Anna’s hand tighter. The pain intensified, but her heart felt at ease.

Until Anna used up all her strength and collapsed into her arms, Ria could continue to lend her strength to Anna.

Ria thought of that as a blessing.