Chapter 12 : Holy War (1)

We arrived at the front line, and the march through hell began.

“Hurry up and walk!! If you collapse, I’ll kill you right where you fall!”

I urged on my subordinates, who were on the verge of collapse.

It wouldn’t have been strange for a bombing to fall at any moment.

In such a situation, we continued our advance.

The sky we looked up at during the war was always gray.

War is horrific, as it has always been.

Just as I’ve experienced for the past five years.

I’m sick of the smell of gunpowder.

I’m sick of the smell of my subordinates’ flesh burning.

“Everyone! We’re going home alive! Keep walking!”

Everyone—every last one—I’ll get them back alive.

With that resolve, I drove my subordinates toward the battlefield.

I’m scared.

A wave of fear crashes over me.

But even so, we cannot stop.

Stopping here only means death.

Either we die and get blamed to death by the empire when we return, or we get our hearts pierced by enemy bullets and blades.

If that’s the case, then I’ll at least choose an honorable death.

If I can’t bear an honorable death, I’ll crawl back alive in disgrace.

The enemies aren’t human.

They are vampires, as they always were.

I brainwashed myself to believe that.

Because of the lingering memories and guilt that they were once human, I cannot kill humans—only vampires.

Struggling in that contradiction, we moved forward to the front.

After arriving at the battlefield, it was nothing but continuous hell.

[Go! Deliver the blade of judgment to those who betrayed the Empire’s grace after the vampires were eradicated!]

[Offer your lives to the Empress! Advance!!]

After saying that, I drew my sword and charged at the front.

Bullets flew.

I was terrified.

I wanted to live.

Even when such thoughts overwhelmed me,

I couldn’t show a frightened expression.

Instead, I made an even more ruthless face.

“Graaaah!”

“Sword Saint!! It’s the Sword Saint!!!”

Just seeing me like that made them scream and run.

I gripped my black sword and charged at the enemies.

Comrades fell, hit by our own bullets.

Enemies fell, hit by theirs.

Their blood soaked the earth.

I stepped in it, drank it, and used it as material for blood magic as I ran.

To prevent more blood from hitting the ground, I swung my sword with everything I had.

“Graaaah!!”

“P-please spare me!”

“Guh!”

I swung my sword without emotion at those who cried for mercy.

And I drank their blood.

My stomach churned violently.

It was disgusting. These people were just brainwashed by pigs from another country.

They were someone’s family, someone’s lover, someone’s precious person.

They weren’t even vampires.

Yet I brainwashed my subordinates into believing they were no different from vampires.

Through this war, I learned once again that I am no different from those filthy pigs.

And so, I spent my days waging a maddening war.

Then one day—

“Respectfully, Lieutenant Colonel. The Empress has sent a letter.”

It was around the time the front line was becoming stagnant.

A letter arrived from the Empress.

“…Leave it and go.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

Inside the tent, I wiped the hot blood off my face and opened the letter.

It had the imperial seal.

“What is this about?”

Not long ago, Kriha was boasting that a new unit would soon be formed.

Was it about that? Thinking so, I opened the letter.

Its contents were about forming a small elite unit.

Other than our regiment losing some men, there weren’t many changes.

“…Are they telling me to die?”

But in this situation, reducing troops was the same as a death sentence.

We didn’t even know when we’d conquer this place.

[Within 7 days, Lieutenant Colonel, you will leave the battlefield and join the new unit with Captains Kyle, Kriha, and Jenny.]

It was an order to abandon my subordinates and flee.

The war was fierce, and the troops were growing weary of endless battle.

The only thing keeping us going now was revenge.

A burning desire to avenge our fallen comrades, lovers, and all that was precious.

And the one who fueled that desire—was me.

It was me.

[They are worse than vampires!!]

[They are demons who stole our comrades, our families, our lovers!!]

I demonized the enemy and forced my troops to charge.

I whispered endlessly, driving them to their deaths.

That’s the kind of person I was.

One who slaughtered mercilessly with words, swords, and others’ hands.

One who used comrades and subordinates to create more victims, and ultimately took their lives.

That’s who I was.

But when I read that line telling me to escape—

I thought, “I’m saved.”

“You crazy bitch…”

I don’t know if that curse was directed at the Empress or myself.

But one thing was certain—I was terribly expressionless when I said it.

Exactly one week later—

As I was wildly slashing down enemies, suddenly, I was in a neat uniform, boarding a vehicle.

“Lieutenant Colonel, you look very tired.”

“……”

Disgusting.

The face of that superior smoking casually in front of me.

Myself, feeling relieved at surviving, with my anger fading.

That feeling was so disgusting I couldn’t bear it.

“…What meaning does any of this have?”

Not long ago, I threw the same question at Kyle that he once asked me.

“It means nothing.”

And the answer that came back was just as empty.

“You are a soldier.”

“……”

“Soldiers are just tools, mere means for those above.”

Erik said, exhaling a puff of smoke.

“Then you should know what you must do better than anyone.”

“……”

It seems, without realizing it, my heart has grown weak.

“……”

I remained silent.

Seeing me like that, Erik spat a glob of phlegm into the ashtray, as if to express his annoyance.

“…I heard you were quite a wild one on the battlefield for a mere vampire.”

“Is it that much fun, killing humans?”

Unaware of my true feelings, Erik’s words made me want to kill him, truly, truly kill him.

“…Does it really seem that way to you? Really, truly seem that way?”

I replied, staring at him with a blank, or perhaps slightly furrowed, expression.

Erik chuckled dismissively, as if my words meant nothing.

“You can’t even kill me, so why bother glaring?”

…….

“Don’t forget, your subordinates are sitting right behind you.”

Erik’s taunting smile as he said that felt unbearably irritating.

For a while, Erik stared at me blankly.

Unable to back down, I returned his glare.

“…Want a smoke?”

Erik said, extending a premium cigarette toward me.

‘…What on earth is this guy thinking?’

This man, who just moments ago was mocking me so ruthlessly.

I couldn’t understand what he truly wanted.

I hesitated to accept it, but…

“Did you like this that much?”

“…No.”

“Then give it back.”

“…… I will accept it gratefully.”

Before I knew it, my body had already reached out, the cigarette between my lips.

And just like that, my subordinates and I retreated from the blood-soaked, gunpowder-streaked battlefield for a brief moment.

I only heard about the massacre of the unit fighting on that front after I left.

Erik, sitting in the rattling vehicle, stared blankly at the girl silently puffing on a cigarette.

“…What are you staring at?”

“Don’t mind me. I’m just keeping an eye on you.”

“…”

Even Erik himself couldn’t understand why he was acting this way, so he brushed it off.

Even when they boarded the vehicle, the sight of her weakened figure kept bothering him.

Annoyed by this strange concern, he had lashed out at Valentine.

Of course, as a result, there was no need to deal with a sulking Valentine later.

“…Is there a need to watch me?”

“If you’re harboring any… lust for this kind of body, perhaps you should seek medical attention.”

“Though I can’t guarantee you’ll find proper treatment.”

Valentine’s sarcastic jab hit home.

“Ridiculous.”

“…This is disgusting.”

“I feel the same.”

Erik said, closing his eyes.

‘…Don’t be swayed, Erik.’

Even as he whispered that to himself, when he opened his eyes again…

“…Why do you keep staring? Trying to pick a fight again?”

There she was, Valentine, glaring at him with clear distrust.

He wanted to say something, but the right words wouldn’t come.

Erik, who didn’t even understand his own emotions, could only snap irritably.

“…Don’t talk to me, you damn vampire.”

……

“Be grateful I haven’t sold you off to the slave markets yet.”

Erik muttered, clicking his tongue in frustration.

‘…What the hell are you doing, Erik?’

A vague, unsettling discomfort kept poking at Erik’s chest.

How much time had passed like that?

Perhaps due to exhaustion, Valentine, who had been nodding off, finally fell asleep.

Her frail body shivering in the cold, she let out faint whimpers as she slept.

Erik found himself staring at her.

“…How pitiful.”

“Sigh…”

“What am I even doing?”

Erik muttered, taking off his coat and gently draping it over the shivering Valentine.

“…Can’t have you freezing to death, after all.”

Erik watched as Valentine, now covered by his coat, let out a steady, peaceful breath.

“…Don’t die.”

The man who once thought all vampires should just die found himself whispering those words, falling into deep confusion as they left his lips.