Chapter 115 – Trace

“Why would I be crying?”

I narrowed my eyes and snapped at Stella.

At the same time, I wiped my face.

“And when did you take the key again? That’s stealing. No matter how broke you are… what the hell.”

There was moisture.

What the hell is this?

There’s no way I’d cry over those bastards, no matter what they’re doing.

…Is it because of my period?

Yeah… that’s probably it.

There’s no other explanation.

“…I yawned. I’m just sleepy.”

With her lips turned all the way down, Stella took a step forward and stared down at me with a stern expression.

Standing this close… the height difference was more obvious than expected.

“Don’t lie.”

“It’s true. And even if I were lying, what are you going to do about it?”

“You’re still in pain, aren’t you? You’re hurting.”

“Like I’d cry because of that?”

“Th-that may be. But still! Something’s wrong with you!”

“Stop yelling. My head’s ringing.”

“Ah… s-sorry. Ahem! Anyway. You’re definitely still not okay. So… yeah. The reason I’m sleeping here tonight is to nurse you. No other reason.”

With that, Stella threw the pillow she was holding onto my bed with a plop.

…Has this girl gone mad?

“What the hell are you saying? Why would you sleep in my room? No. Get out.”

“I don’t want to. I’m not leaving. Sis Yurasia is not here, so I have to take care of you. First, eat this.”

“Nursing, my ass.”

“Watch your language! Ugh… sorry…”

Yelp!

Yelling again after saying she wouldn’t, then quickly covering her mouth, Stella blinked a few times and grabbed my shoulder.

“Hurry up and sit down before it gets cold.”

I didn’t really understand what was happening or why she was acting like this all of a sudden… but I sat down at her guidance.

The smell of food did make me realize I was hungry.

“What is this? Did you make it?”

What Stella had brought was the same meal I fed her yesterday.

Seaweed soup.

“No? How could I make something like this?”

“Then you bought it?”

“Yeah.”

“Where did you get the money to buy this? And why is it in a lunchbox?”

“Huh? That’s… um…”

Her lips quivered as she lowered her head.

“…I brought the lunchbox so they’d give me a discount.”

I couldn’t help but chuckle.

“A discount? How much of a discount?”

“…F-five Sel.”

She mumbled barely audibly, then rummaged through her pocket and handed something to me.

“What’s this?”

“…Utensils.”

“Why are you carrying utensils in your pocket?”

“T-they charge two hundred Sel for disposable utensils. So… I bring my own.”

“You carry that in your pocket?”

“T-that’s because… I didn’t have any free hands today. Normally I carry it in my bag.”

Whether in uniform or casual wear, Stella always carried a bag at her waist. I always wondered what was in there, turns out, it was for her utensils.

“So that bag you always carry around only has personal utensils in it? I thought you had a self-defense dagger or something in there.”

“U-ugh… stop! Quit spouting nonsense and eat already!”

For someone who said she wouldn’t yell anymore, she sure kept yelling. I couldn’t help but let out a few short laughs.

“What’s that, then?”

“T-this is my food.”

“What is it?”

“…Whole wheat bread and butter.”

“Why eat something like that?”

“Don’t say it like that! I… I actually like this.”

As she said that, Stella calmly ripped open the brown wrapping. Judging by how naturally she handled it, she must’ve eaten it plenty of times before.

“What are you staring at? Hurry up and eat.”

“Well… thanks. I’ll eat well.”

I picked up the spoon.

Stella’s spoon… how should I put it?

It had clearly seen a lot of use.

I didn’t think she was doing it on purpose to fish for sympathy, but damn, she really was pitiful to the bone.

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

“How am I looking at you?”

“…Your eyes are annoying.”

“That’s because you hate me.”

“Y-yeah. I… I hate you.”

“I hate you too.”

Snicker, I laughed and took a spoonful of seaweed soup.

It tasted good. It did, but of course, mine was better.

Still, since it was something Stella, penniless Stella, bought for me, I was going to enjoy it.

Om nom nom.

As I kept eating, I felt a sharp gaze from across the table.

On top of that, I could hear her gulping.

“Hey. You should eat too.”

“No? You finish it. I’m good with this.”

“Don’t be dramatic and eat. I can’t finish all of this myself.”

“…R-really? It’d be a waste to leave any… okay. I guess I have no choice but to help. Hmph…”

Slurp, looking a bit excited, Stella licked her lips, then immediately drooped her head in disappointment.

“Now that I think about it… I don’t have a spoon…”

“Check the drawer next to you. There’s a disposable one in there.”

“Hot damn.”

Stella moved quickly. As soon as I said it, she pulled out a disposable spoon and unwrapped it.

“I-I’m eating, okay?”

“Yeah.”

“I’m really eating?”

“Oh my god.”

When I gave her a death glare, Stella finally started eating.

As she alternated between rice and seaweed soup, she tilted her head.

“…Huh? Why does it taste different?”

“What?”

“This seaweed soup tastes different from the one you brought me.”

“Of course it does.”

“Of course?”

Stella’s gaze drifted from the soup to me. I kept eating like nothing happened.

“Why does it taste different?”

“Because the one you ate before was homemade. I made it myself.”

“…Huh?”

“Which one tastes better?”

Looking at Stella’s dumbfounded expression, I chuckled.

“Mine tastes better, right?”

“Ah, ugh…”

Stella’s face turned so red it looked like it was going to explode.

From that point on, until I finished my food, Stella couldn’t lift her spoon again.

* * *

“Eliaernes. Are you asleep?”

“Yeah. Sleeping.”

I didn’t eat dessert.

Once I finished eating and washed the dishes, I went straight to bed. No need to let the food settle. My stomach handled it during the meal.

Of course, I brushed my teeth.

“Are you really okay?”

…In the end, Stella decided to sleep in my room.

She chose to sleep on the floor.

It’s not like I kicked her out of the bed.

I even told her the bed was big enough, that she could come up, as long as she didn’t pee in it. But she screamed “Gwaaaaah!” and threw herself onto the floor.

Anyway, I didn’t kick her out.

“I told you I’m fine.”

“…You’re not gonna die, right?”

“No.”

Then I briefly explained why… I’d started spurting blood like that.

What surprised me was that Stella had already guessed, more or less.

“…I’m sorry.”

The problem was, she mistakenly thought I’d done it to save her.

“Sorry for wha, No. I said it’s not because of you, so why do you keep freaking out?”

“I-if I had just been a little stronger…”

“What do you mean ‘a little stronger.’ Don’t talk nonsense and just go to sleep.”

Sure, it happened because I tried to save Stella and Pina.

Technically, that’s not wrong. But more than that… I just wanted to kill Samaela.

And I wanted to retrieve what Arisa left behind as soon as possible.

Killing Samaela meant saving Stella and Pina, so technically it wasn’t wrong.

Really, it wasn’t. I just wanted to go treasure hunting.

“Eliaernes.”

“Oh, come on, ”

“You heard about Akasha too, right?”

I thought she was about to say something dumb again, but surprisingly, she wasn’t.

“Yeah.”

“You heard everything?”

“I heard how you were created because of Akasha.”

“So you heard almost everything…”

Sniff.

I heard Stella wipe her nose.

“What is Akasha… really?”

What should I say?

I know, more or less, what Akasha is. Not in perfect detail, but enough. And I have a rough idea of what the demons are trying to do with it.

Should I tell her? What should I do?

“Am I… not human?”

“What kind of fresh nonsense is that?”

“I wasn’t born… I was made. Not in a womb, but in a tank.”

“So what, you think you’re an animal?”

“No…! That’s not what I meant…”

“Trusting everything that woman said is what’s really strange. She’s a Black Magician. Didn’t you see the corpses of the Imperial Knights behind her?”

Rustle.

I heard the sound of movement, and Stella’s gaze landed on my back.

“That’s… true, but… I still can’t stop thinking about it…”

“Sure, it’s normal to think about it. But don’t let it consume you. Even if you’re not human, so what? You’ve got a nose, eyes, a mouth. Arms and legs. You think, talk, eat, and pee, that makes you human.”

“I don’t pee!!”

“You don’t pee? Then you’re definitely not human.”

“…Ugh! You, how can you make fun of me in a moment like this?! I was… sob… so worried when you were hurting like that… hic… and you… huff…”

Rustle, rustle.

I heard Stella shifting. Then the pitiful hiccuping sound followed.

I turned over and looked at her.

In the moonlight, her eyelids were red, and glistening drops clung beneath her nose. Could’ve been tears or snot.

Probably snot.

“Are you crying?”

“Yeah! I’m crying! So what!”

“You’re definitely human.”

“…Huh?”

“Crying, laughing, getting mad while talking with another human, only humans do that. Demons or beasts can’t. Even if they understand words, they don’t sob and snivel like you. So yeah, you’re human.”

I couldn’t see clearly in the dark, but she looked like she couldn’t tell whether that was an insult or a compliment.

“…What if… what if I’m really not human?”

“Then just kill anyone who says that.”

“…What?”

“Mass extermination. Dead people don’t talk.”

“What if the person saying it… is human?”

“The moment someone calls you not human, they’re not human themselves. And even if they are, what’s stopping you from killing them?”

Stella opened her mouth but then lowered her head to hide her expression.

“…You’re way too violent. How can you say something like that so casually? You’re insane.”

“Why are you flipping out even when I’m on your side?”

“…Your tone sucks. And your temper’s even worse.”

After taking deep breaths for a while, Stella stood up. Then, slowly, she crept toward the bed and plopped down on the edge.

“I’m sleeping here.”

“No.”

“What…? You said it was okay earlier!”

“I changed my mind.”

“Hmph. So what. I’m sleeping here, deal with it.”

Mumbling in a soft, coy voice, Stella ended up lying down on the bed.

Her face was way too close. Her breath brushed against mine.

Yet Stella didn’t seem bothered in the slightest. Or was she? Her expression was hidden by the moonlight behind her.

…Are all girls this oblivious about personal space?

I slowly turned my back to her. Her breath now tickled the nape of my neck.

“Eliaernes.”

“What.”

“…What if… the whole world calls me not human and bullies me for it?”

“Come tell me. Secretly.”

“…Secretly?”

“If you come openly, I’ll get bullied too.”

“Wh-what?! You, you…! Seriously… to the very end…”

Stella, who’d been feeble and helpless like a sick little chick just moments ago, was now back to her usual self.

I chuckled, enjoying her reaction.

“Make sure to come secretly. Just whisper it to me.”

“…What’s the point of telling you? Are you going to act like you can do more than me again?”

“I can. I can do a lot more than you. I’m the next head of Eustetia. If your name has ‘Eustetia’ at the end, no one’s going to badmouth you openly.”

The breath that had been tickling the back of my neck paused. Then I heard a very small murmur.

“…Stella Eustetia? Hehe… weird.”

“If you don’t like it, just kill everyone who says that.”

“Ugh… You’re insane. Completely insane.”

I didn’t bother denying that.

I am insane. I know that. I, we, all of us were insane. We had gone through too much, seen too much to stay sane.

Whether it was demons or fellow humans, we killed without hesitation.

Even if they had been comrades for years, we wouldn’t hesitate.

Because that’s the only way we could survive.

Even if we had to live like worms, we had to kill the Demon King.

That’s why we couldn’t live with a sound mind.

Maybe that’s why. Maybe we were sealed with the Demon King because we’d all gone completely insane.

Luna and Paulo’s images wouldn’t leave my mind. I couldn’t even begin to guess what kind of thinking led to that kind of idiotic decision.

“…Eliaernes.”

“What.”

“The reason the demons want to take me… is it because of Akasha?”

“Yeah.”

“Knew it… You do know, huh.”

I turned to look at Stella. Her eyes were filled with moisture. Her lips were tightly sealed, and her small hands trembled as they clutched the blanket.

“They want to use Akasha to break the Demon King’s seal. That’s their plan.”

“…What even is Akasha? Then… did my mom lie to me?”

“Who knows. I don’t know that either. About your mom, ahem. About your mother, we’ll have to ask her in person.”

“Then… me, what should I do…?”

“Do what?”

“If I get kidnapped alive… they’ll complete Akasha, and the seal on the Demon King will break. Then… maybe if I just died, everything would, ”

“You insane bitch.”

I flicked her forehead with mana.

Smack!

“Gyaaah! Y-you hit me?! With your fist?!”

“Even if you were born for that reason, does that guarantee Akasha will be completed? I don’t think so. I’m pretty sure someone like you, a bedwetter, can’t do anything. The demons are just being idiots.”

“B-bed… Hey! I’m not a bedwetter! And what do you know! I can be, ”

“Even if.”

I reached out and gently stroked her forehead, which was probably red and swollen.

“Even if you really do get kidnapped. I’ll come find you.”

“…Huh, huh? Why…?”

“To get my money back, you brat. Never mind the rest, just your life debt alone is worth two times now. I need to collect. Do you know how much trouble I went through to save you?”

Snicker, I laughed and turned my back to her.

“So don’t go thinking about dying or whatever. Just go to sleep.”

“…Life debt. Yeah… Right. I… I owe a lot. I guess I can’t run anymore. Hehe…”

“Yeah. As long as you know.”

“Mm… Good night. Sweet… dreams.”

That was the end of our conversation.

The night had grown deep.

Sleep… still hadn’t come.

The veiled Verheigen.

Luna and Paulo, sealed with the Demon King.

Arisa, constantly leaving something behind.

All of it, these traces from 400 years ago, felt like they were pulling me somewhere.

The subjugation of the Demon King.

It’s fucking arrogant.

Like we’re some clueless kids.

Even if no one encourages us, even if no one tells us, 

I, we, will kill the Demon King.

That was our goal then, and it will never change.

“…Idiots.”

Still breathing, so I guess that’s… a good thing?

Whether to laugh, get angry, or cry, I didn’t know how to feel, as the scent of cherry blossoms riding the moonlight covered my eyelids.

That night, I slept more peacefully than I had in a long time.

Maybe it was Stella’s breathing. Maybe it was the cherry blossoms. Or maybe it was knowing those bastards were still alive.

I don’t know. Probably because I was tired.

Probably because we’d been through too much.

* * *

Two days later, 

Her mother came to the academy.