Apologetic

Apologetic

“The reason the hero failed in the first cycle was… because of you.”

‘You’ probably refers to Deren.

I gestured with my finger for her to explain in more detail.

Ember hesitated for a moment, then burst out speaking to me.

“In the first cycle, the hero tried to protect Rumi, who was suffering because of you… but you crushed her using the power of the Lercier Family…!”

Considering that my current strength was inherited from the first cycle.

It seems that in the first cycle, I had talent but wasn’t strong, in a situation similar to Rumi’s.

‘…Although looking at what I’m doing now, it seems I had more talent than Rumi.’

Anyway, it seems that was far from enough.

As someone who knows the extent of the Lercier Family’s power, I nod my head, thinking I understand the general context.

Suddenly, I could recall one unresolved question.

“But if you were going to sacrifice the hero like that, was there any need to sacrifice Rumi as a fake hero in the first place? From what I hear, it seems like it was a meaningless act.”

“Th-that’s…”

“Moreover, as far as I know, the Phantom Library in the past had dealings with the Heaven God Cult… Is the Phantom Library really an organization that helps the hero?”

“……”

The last question was based on speculation.

‘The fact that the Phantom Library had dealings with the Heaven God Cult is only mentioned in the novel.’

In this iteration, to prevent the Phantom Library and the Heaven God Cult from making deals.

Since I took the initiative to monopolize the Phantom Library, the fact that they had made some kind of deal had disappeared.

I probed just in case. As I expected, she couldn’t give any answer about whether a contract had existed.

Feeling something strange, I was considering whether to just destroy everything when.

Ember sat down on the floor and shouted at me.

“I-I’ll tell you everything. Please stop.”

“I think you said that earlier too.”

“This time, I’ll really… tell you everything.”

I nodded towards Ember and continued what I had said earlier.

“So, putting all that aside, if you were going to do it like that, why did you throw away Rumi? Moreover, even if Rumi is a false hero, isn’t she sufficient as a vessel for the Demon King’s side to descend as a demon god?”

“Rumi is… literally a fake hero. She’s not sufficient to be used as a vessel. She can’t even use holy power in the first place…”

So she’s literally fake in every sense.

I inwardly sighed as I looked at Ember, then closed my eyes, deciding to first organize the situation.

‘The first thing to do is to restore the Illusion Library, then retrieve my main body.’

Since the act of retrieving itself wouldn’t be too difficult using spatial expansion magic.

I was about to put that body inside and leave when Ember grabbed my foot and shouted.

“W-wait a moment! Oh… no. If the hero dies again this time… it’s really the end now…”

Looking down at Ember clinging to me, I thought for a moment and then briefly said to Ember.

“No need to worry. I am the hero to begin with.”

“What?”

“I’m saying that I am the first cycle hero you’re talking about.”

I spoke while shaking off Ember, who was staring at me with a blank expression.

“Let’s continue this conversation later. It’s gotten too late today.”

As I needed time to sort out my complicated thoughts, I said this, and Ember nodded while wiping away tears.

Seeing this, I let out a light sigh and decided to return to the mansion for now.

* * *

My mind is too complicated.

As I’m sighing, thinking I don’t know how to handle this.

Someone gently knocks on the door and calls for me.

“Deren…”

Judging by the trembling voice, it seems to be Rumi.

I was about to refuse to meet her, thinking that seeing Rumi in this situation would make my mind even more complicated.

But before I could answer, Rumi opened the door, came in, and smiled with an “ehehe”.

“Is there anything you need?”

Like a puppy who has done something wrong and is looking for approval.

Seeing Rumi fidgeting and looking at me nervously, even though there’s no reason to, I find it hard to tell her to leave.

‘Moreover, she was born as a sacrifice in my place.’

I felt even more sorry.

I looked at Rumi, who was looking around in her maid uniform.

Slowly crossing my arms, I shook my head.

“… Not particularly.”

“I-I see. Then, would you like me to massage your shoulders?”

I meant that there was no need to do anything difficult.

But Rumi seemed to find it harder not to do anything, so she kept trying to say something.

I reluctantly decided to accept and nodded.

“Do as you please.”

“… Yes!”

As soon as I gave permission, her face brightened up.

She quickly ran behind me and started massaging my shoulders.

“Hehe.”

She seems to enjoy helping me so much that she makes a silly laughing sound while massaging.

I closed my eyes, thinking that she might be apologizing for her previous misstep in this way.

Rumi called out to me hesitantly and then spoke in a small voice.

“D-Deren, you know. All those things I said before were lies. Actually, I don’t dislike Deren.”

“We’ve already talked about this before.”

“Is that so…? But it felt like I hadn’t said it, so… I thought I should.”

At that moment, I could understand the nature of the emotions Rumi was feeling.

‘Rather than saying this out of guilt towards me, it’s more likely she’s saying this because she doesn’t want to be abandoned by me.’

The expression ‘abandoned’ might be a bit harsh, so ‘not wanting to be disliked’ might be more appropriate.

In any case, Rumi’s behavior reminded me of a puppy trying to be cute because it doesn’t want to be abandoned, which made me feel even more guilty.

‘This is driving me crazy.’

I closed my eyes tightly, wondering where things had gone wrong.

Then, feeling that I couldn’t leave it alone any longer, I called out to Rumi.

“Rumi.”

“Yes…?”

“Let’s have a talk for a moment.”

“……”

At those words, Rumi hesitantly approached me, then lowered her head, avoiding my gaze.

Looking at Rumi like this, I pondered for a moment what to say to her.

Thinking that actions might be better than words, I silently reached out and patted her head.

“There’s no need to worry. No matter what you say or do, I won’t abandon you.”

At those words, Rumi’s body suddenly trembled.

With an expression that seemed both happy and anxious, she asked me back.

“… Why? I feel like I’m just being a burden to Deren.”

Since I couldn’t tell the truth, it would be better to make something up.

The problem is I have no idea what to say.

As I’m momentarily speechless, causing a brief silence, Luna in my arms stepped in to answer instead.

[Obviously it’s for mating, stupid!]

“……”

After saying that, Luna looked at me with an expression saying ‘I did well, right?’ and continued speaking.

[So stop dragging this out… have lots and lots of babies… and let me become a big sister or aunt.]

Deciding to leave Luna somewhere else next time I have important conversations, I spoke to Lumi.

“Ignore her. She’s quite lacking in the head.”

“Y-yes. But you know, Dern.”

“What is it?”

“If that’s what Dern wants, I’m okay with it anytime… Actually, I practiced with Luna before…”

Come to think of it, she did say she did some strange practice for a week.

While I fall into a bizarre feeling of both wanting and not wanting to know, trying hard to pretend I didn’t hear.

Lumi seems to decide to go further, loosening her front clothes and clinging to me.

“Though I’m smaller than Senior Espin… still I’m quite big, so. Delia said it would feel good to touch.”

While I grab my throbbing head at Delia’s unexpectedly dropped name.

Lumi looks at me like that and speaks while slowly fiddling with my cheek.

“So, um… you can do whatever you want if you desire.”

With those final words, Lumi starts making direct provocations while pressing her finger firmly on the upper part of her chest.

Seeing this, I suddenly remembered when I first met Lumi after being possessed, and laughter burst out momentarily.

‘Back then, Deren tried to rape Rumi.’

But this time, ironically, Rumi was trying to pounce on Deren… no, on me.

I was laughing, thinking about how unpredictable the world can be.

Rumi, seeing my face, said somewhat sulkily.

“I, I mustered up a lot of courage to do this to Deren… Why are you laughing?”

It seems I laughed a bit too much.

I apologized to Rumi and slowly picked her up in a princess carry while saying.

“At least not yet, so wait.”

“Not yet…? Then does that mean you’ll really do it later?”

“……”

I didn’t say anything more as I roughly tossed Rumi onto the bed and turned around.