Chapter 114: You cant go anywhere – 8

After that day, Vivian avoided me.

I couldn’t find her anywhere.

She didn’t come out to the hall for meals, nor did she take leisurely walks.

She just stayed locked in her room, occasionally asking questions to the soldiers guarding the door.

“…What about Kailo?”

Whenever she asked that, I, waiting outside her door, could only sigh.

The reason for her behavior was obvious.

It was as if she instinctively knew that meeting me would mark our final farewell.

The preparations for our parting were complete, and all that was left was for me to leave.

Everything would be over once we exchanged that last goodbye… yet Vivian wouldn’t allow it.

Just as waiting was painful for me, I frequently knocked on her door.

Knock, knock, knock.

“Vivian, come out.”

…But Vivian never answered.

I could feel her desperate clinging, as if keeping me here would eventually cause me to yield to her.

Honestly, she wasn’t entirely wrong.

Though I spoke coldly to her, parting with her was far from easy for me as well.

I wanted to see her reach adulthood, to hold her in my arms without restraint.

But I knew that separating was the cleaner, better option for us, and so I remained stubborn.

This farewell would leave a deep scar on me.

Deeper than the burn scar on my back, the sword wounds on my body, or the half-severed ear.

When I returned home, I might even cry a little.

Perhaps, once I was free of Vivian’s and the Duchess’s gazes.

The thought brought a bitter smile to my face.

Maybe I was being selfish too.

Instead of leaving outright, it felt like I was clinging to end things properly with Vivian.

Perhaps I was cowardly, relying on her to let me go because I couldn’t leave on my own.

The curse is persistent.

…If it is a curse at all.

A few days ago, during a drinking party, things felt fine until midway through.

If that had been the end, I might have left.

But when I recall the memories of that night, all I can see is Vivian crying pathetically, naked and trembling in despair after being rejected by me.

I didn’t want to leave her with that as our last memory.

Regardless… I planned to leave before her birthday.

That was the boundary I set for myself, a forced standard to ensure I could leave.

There was a reason for setting that limit.

I had a strong feeling that many things would change once she came of age.

And amidst those changes, there was no guarantee that my resolve wouldn’t falter.

I feared the love I might feel, seeing her stand tall as an adult after overcoming hardship.

I sighed deeply.

Duran and Martin, who were guarding Vivian’s door, approached quietly and patted my shoulder.

“…Sir Kailo.”

Then, someone called me from behind.

It was Nestor, the Spymaster.

I looked at him, smiled faintly, and asked,

“Can’t you get me out of this land somehow?”

“…My Lady doesn’t wish for that.”

He replied with a light smile.

Since revealing his identity, Nestor was one of those whose demeanor had changed significantly.

There used to be strange rumors about the castle walls, but over time, I learned they were spread by him to communicate with spies he had planted.

He took something out of his coat.

“I’d have handed it to you as a note like before, but…”

With a jest, he held out a letter.

It bore the large crest of the Alan family.

“Looks like the rumors have finally reached the Alan family.”

My hands trembled slightly as I took the letter.

Fear consumed me.

The fact that the paper wasn’t black meant it wasn’t news of my father’s death.

But opening it felt like it would grant me the power I had so desperately sought.

It felt inevitable that this would finalize my separation from Vivian.

…It was all coming to an end.

“Then, I’ll go deliver the next letter…”

Nestor moved past me, who had gone blank, and knocked on Vivian’s door.

“Lady Vivian, it’s Nestor.”

“…Come in.”

The door opened, and I faced Vivian.

She looked up at us with weary eyes, as if she had given up even trying to make an effort with her appearance lately.

“…Ugh…!”

Vivian averted her gaze the moment she saw me.

For a brief moment, she maintained that attitude until Nestor entered the room and closed the door behind him.

I tried to process the complex emotions I felt while looking at Vivian and slowly opened the letter.

It was written in my father’s handwriting.

And as expected of my father, it was a short note.

“Son. I miss you.”

***

To Vivian Rondor.

First, I want to let you know that I have received the letters you sent in the past. I apologize for not being able to reply until now.

As you must be aware by now, my health has not been well, making it difficult to respond.

I understand the irreparable blood spilled between the Alan and Rondor families.

It wasn’t only the lives of the former Duke and his heir that were at stake.

Although their deaths were significant in causing my son to be dragged to that land, it’s all in the past. Even without that, there has always been enmity between us.

In the war, many soldiers and knights of the Alan family lost their lives, and I’m sure Rondor was not spared from the tragedy either.

When I think of the soldiers who died in my arms, it is hard to let go of my resentment toward Rondor.

As a defeated knight, I accept full responsibility for what happened.

However, as a father who lost his son, at times my emotions outweighed my reason, and I resented Rondor.

But now, I wish to let go of that resentment.

I heard from my eldest daughter, Kayla, that you and my son are quite close.

Hearing this, I found the courage to release the resentment and pain I have held onto for so long.

For the sake of their friendship, I hope the Rondor family will make the same decision.

Vivian.

I fully understand if you harbor hatred toward me.

Even if the real culprits behind the deaths of the former Duke and his heir were others, I know I cannot be entirely free of that responsibility.

I acknowledge all my wrongdoings.

I seek your forgiveness.

And while I’m not sure if this can bring you any solace, I am nearing the end of my life.

Like my wife, I have been suffering from an unknown illness for a long time.

At most, I have a year left. At the least, perhaps a month.

I cannot say for sure, but I can feel that my time is short.

This is my final request.

Please return my son, Kailo.

Kailo is the eldest son who must lead our family.

He must return to assume the family’s responsibilities and produce an heir.

Several families have already proposed marriage—

***

Crunch!

Vivian couldn’t stop herself from gripping the letter tightly at the mention of Kailo’s role as heir and the proposed marriages.

The letter crumpled weakly in her hands.

A trembling jealousy surged within her.

Perhaps because she knew the future described in the letter was so plausible, her emotions spiraled into chaos.

The future where Kailo would leave her to build a family with another woman loomed slowly but inevitably.

It was a future Vivian couldn’t bear.

The thought of Kailo whispering words of love to another woman and smiling at her made her feel like she was losing her mind.

Kailo had pushed her away.

Despite the long time they had spent together and the complex emotions they had shared, he had pushed her away.

And yet, would he so easily embrace another woman?

What qualifications did that woman have?

What kind of luck had she been born with?

Vivian let out a trembling breath as she carefully uncrumpled the letter.

And then, she continued to read the remaining letter.

**

There is talk of a marriage proposal.

Though it may be my selfish wish that you don’t need to concern yourself with, I feel I can only close my eyes peacefully once I see my grandson.

Lady Vivian, please let go of Kailo now.

Kailo has suffered far more than what his sins warranted.

If what Kayla saw is true.

If your friendship was genuine.

Please, I beg you, forgive our family now.

I earnestly pray for your generous decision.

Sincerely,

Jade Alan.

***

Vivian’s emotions surged as she read Jade Alan’s heartfelt letter.

His sincere plea did not fall entirely on deaf ears.

However, such a request was just another factor driving her further into madness, as she was already pushed to her limits.

“What did it say?”

Nestor asked gently.

Vivian crumpled the letter and shook her head.

“…Nothing.”

Just then, a commotion erupted outside.

The unexpected noise startled Vivian, but soon after, fear crept in.

She knew there was only one person capable of causing such a disturbance in the tightly disciplined Rondor Castle.

“Hey! What are you doing?!”

“Stop him! Stop him!”

—Bang!!

As the noise reached the door, it burst open.

Vivian gasped for air.

Standing there was Kailo, fully geared, holding his massive dual-handed sword and donning a crimson bear-head helm.

He was not dressed casually but in attire suited for someone prepared for a long journey.

Clenching and unclenching his cold fists, he faced Vivian.

She could no longer avoid him.

There was nowhere to run.

***

I confronted her, trembling in fear and terror.

Yet within that fear, a subtle hint of madness flickered.

It was the look that only those pushed to the brink could possess—a unique gaze often seen on the execution grounds.

My eyes fell to the crumpled letter in front of her.

Silently, I walked over and roughly snatched it from her.

“W-What are you doing…!”

Vivian resisted, but there was little she could do except rise from her seat.

I skimmed through the letter.

My father’s earnest plea was written there, solidifying my resolve.

I felt as if I had received the last strength I needed.

I looked at Vivian.

Perhaps sensing my determination, she shook her head.

“…No, you’re not.”

“…Kailo, you wouldn’t really leave me.”

Her denial was pitiful.

But I realized that I could no longer part with her with a smile on my face.

“This is goodbye, Vivian.”

“If you won’t let me go, I’ll leave on my own.”