Chapter 109: You cant go anywhere – 3

It had been several days since Vivian began trying to change Kailo’s mind.

Nothing she did seemed to work.

Kailo kept pushing her away, gritting his teeth all the while, and every time he did, Vivian felt like she was losing one of her cards, growing more anxious with each passing moment.

Once, all her actions and gestures would have ensnared Kailo completely.

They were acts intense enough to pierce through their mutual hatred.

But not anymore.

Now, Kailo acted as if he had lost all interest in her.

All her efforts had turned into meaningless, pitiful gestures.

Vivian’s shame deepened as a result.

How had Kailo been able to resist so far?

He had even refused her direct advances on multiple occasions.

For the first time, Vivian was learning what it felt like to be rejected.

And the fact that it was Kailo—of all people—doing the rejecting made it even more painful.

The man who had once loved her the most now behaved this way, and she found it unbearable.

This time, he truly acted like someone preparing to leave for good.

Vivian still couldn’t fully understand it.

What would it feel like if Kailo were no longer by her side?

Kailo had been with her since she was thirteen years old.

Now, with just about a month left until she became an adult, she couldn’t imagine a life without him.

He had always been there, even in her darkest moments.

The idea of him disappearing filled her with fear.

Honestly, she still harbored a faint, arrogant belief deep in her heart.

She thought, just as they had overcome every challenge before, they would somehow get through this one as well.

Kailo would change his mind and stay by her side again.

This belief was rooted entirely in who Kailo was.

He was someone who had never left her, no matter how difficult the circumstances.

Perhaps that was why she held onto the hope that he would stay this time, too.

He wouldn’t leave her.

Not with the bond they shared.

They would get through this, somehow.

But if—just if—he was to leave…

Vivian knew she would yearn for news of him every single day.

She would wait like a hungry baby bird for the messenger to bring her word of him.

How he was doing.

What he was eating.

Who he was meeting.

And if one day, she heard that he had built a home with another woman…

…She knew she wouldn’t be able to bear it.

Even now, deep in her chest, an intense, molten feeling bubbled like lava.

What form this would take when it erupted, Vivian herself did not yet know.

Knock, knock.

As she wrestled with her thoughts, someone knocked on the door.

By now, Vivian could tell who it was just from the elegant sound of the knock.

“Come in.”

At her permission, Lady Linne entered the room.

Vivian greeted her with a face that couldn’t quite hide her exhaustion.

“How can you wear such a beautiful outfit and still look like a tired mule?”

Lady Linne remarked lightly.

Vivian smiled weakly in response.

“…It’s been a while since you’ve joked with me, Master.”

With a sigh, she rose to her feet.

At her signal, the maids came in and began preparing tea.

Lady Linne naturally took a seat at the table, and Vivian followed suit.

Vivian was the one to break the silence.

“Is there a reason for your visit?”

Instead of answering, Lady Linne picked up her teacup.

Vivian wasn’t in a rush, so she waited until her master decided to speak.

“…Is the recent change because of Kailo Alan?”

Lady Linne asked after some delay.

Vivian’s hand froze mid-reach for her cup.

A long silence followed.

Vivian couldn’t find the words to respond, and Lady Linne bided her time.

Noticing Vivian’s hesitation, Lady Linne spoke again.

“The recent changes—are they all because of Kailo Alan? And the matter with Robert Rondor…?”

Vivian still said nothing.

The mention of Kailo’s involvement raised her guard instinctively.

“…Vivian. You may not feel the same, but to me, you’re like another granddaughter.”

At those softer words, Vivian finally smiled and replied.

“Thank you. I… think of you as a grandparent, too.”

Though Lady Linne couldn’t quite compare to Kailo, she was still one of the precious few who had stayed by Vivian’s side.

Vivian now understood that all her master’s past harshness stemmed from worry.

Because of that, Vivian felt a great deal of affection for her.

At Vivian’s response, Lady Linne gave a kind smile and said,

“That’s why I’m speaking now, not as a servant, but as a grandmother concerned for her granddaughter.”

“?”

“…Vivian, it’s time to let Kailo Alan go.”

Clink.

Vivian set her teacup down with a cold motion.

She couldn’t believe the surge of anger that swept through her for a moment.

Her eyes had likely darkened as well, though she lowered her gaze to hide it.

Oblivious to the shift, Lady Linne continued.

“There’s no longer any justification to hold onto Kailo Alan.”

“If this goes on, it will surely lead to political strife.
While we no longer have any reason to fear the Alan family, clinging to him would only be obstinate on our part. Without a valid reason, it’s time to let go.”

Vivian steadied her breathing as she listened to Lady Linne’s words.

She listened quietly, but her fingertips were trembling slightly.

“Also, with Kailo Alan… perhaps because I’ve watched over him since he was young, I feel a sense of sympathy. As someone who also wronged that Northerner, I feel responsible.”

Vivian’s already strained emotions, exacerbated by Kailo’s repeated rejections, were nearing their breaking point with Lady Linne’s meddling.

“…Lady Vivian, I now understand. I know that the two of you have come to care for each other. I know how much you cherish Kailo Alan.”

“But it’s time to let go of those feelings. There are many men in the world. Finding someone new to love—”

“A new man?”

Vivian interrupted, unable to suppress her fury.

Her trembling voice startled even Lady Linne.

“…Master, it’s not a lie when I say I regard you as my grandparents. I’m truly grateful for how you’ve protected and cared for me. But—”

“Then listen to me. Send Kailo Alan back to his homeland—”

“But!”

Vivian couldn’t hold back any longer.

No one could remain still while their most sensitive wounds were repeatedly prodded.

Her crimson eyes burned with intensity.

“But that doesn’t mean you have the right to interfere between Kailo and me.”

Lady Linne could only gape in shock at Vivian’s raw emotions.

Even that wasn’t enough to calm Vivian down.

“You don’t know what kind of bond Kailo and I have… who it was that protected me when I trembled in fear every day… It wasn’t you. When you beat me with a rod every day…! Do you know who stood by me, enduring the same punishment, and shared my pain?”

“V-Vivian…”

Vivian’s emotions, already pushed to their limit, erupted further due to Lady Linne’s advice.

Her efforts to suppress her anger crumbled completely.

“When you were having meals with your family, do you know who ate my food instead and protected me?”

Her voice grew sharper, beyond what she could control.

The restraint that had enveloped her was slowly unraveling.

“The one who saved me from a raging inferno! The one who shielded me from assassins’ blades, even taking wounds for me—every single time, it was Kailo! No matter how much you claim to have cared for me, advising me to distance myself from Kailo is not your place!”

“I-I only… I just feel so guilty toward Kailo Alan…”

“So I’m supposed to give up my relationship to ease your guilt?”

“That’s… not what I…”

“The time Kailo and I have spent together… The depth of the feelings that have formed—calling it simply affection doesn’t do it justice. You don’t even know this… yet you dare to offer advice.”

Before she knew it, Vivian had risen from her seat.

Lady Linne, who had been trying to offer advice, couldn’t even meet her gaze anymore.

Seeing her trembling in fear, Vivian’s mind began to clear.

But that didn’t mean she thought she had misspoken.

Rather, it was Lady Linne’s fault for trying to interfere.

“…I’ve thought this for a long time, but that’s your problem. Maybe it’s your age? You give advice without thinking it through. If you were going to say such things… you should’ve at least understood the relationship Kailo and I share before opening your mouth. If you had known who it was that got me to where I am today… you wouldn’t have dared to say such nonsense.”

When you don’t know, it’s better to stay silent.

The complicated and entangled emotions she and Kailo shared weren’t something others could understand.

Vivian closed her eyes tightly, then forced herself to compose her manners.

“…A new man? Don’t make me laugh. There isn’t a man alive who could love me as much as Kailo does. He’s risked his life for me multiple times…!! Even his current actions are just a temporary deviation. He’ll want to be by my side again. And I… as much as I need Kailo…”

Even such obvious words couldn’t leave her lips easily.

The word “love” carried the shackle of a witch’s sacrifice.

It would mean sacrificing her womb… and perhaps even something more deeply tied to Kailo.

That’s why Vivian still couldn’t fully and openly acknowledge her feelings.

Instead of love, she chose different words.

“…There is no one who can love me as much as Kailo. If it weren’t for Kailo, I wouldn’t be here… So please, don’t carelessly tell me to give up on Kailo.”

Faced with the sharp warning, Lady Linne nodded repeatedly, trembling in fear.

“…Ah, I understand. I… misspoke.”

Thinking back to the past, when someone sternly scolded her, it seemed clear how much position shaped people.

Now, even Lady Linne had to submit to her words.

It was only natural.

She had risen to the position of a Grand Duchess.

There was no way an old woman from a mere noble family could sway someone like her.

Lady Linne also knew.

She knew how Vivian had climbed to this position and title.

How she had seized control of the family with radical policies.

Treasurer Brynden, Baelor, Robert Rondor, and Count Corrode opposed her and met their deaths.

Scholar Crellin, Head Butler Pippin, and countless maids and knights were exiled.

She had nearly seized power comparable to that of a king.

Considering the vast territory she governed, it was only fitting.

In simple terms, there was nothing she couldn’t do anymore.

If she desired, she could have anyone assassinated or forcibly seize lands.

If she truly wanted, she could kidnap someone or confine them.

With a snap of her fingers, she could make someone disappear from the world.

She could eat whatever food she wanted and have any jewel she desired.

…But Vivian had no need for any of that.

The only thing she needed was Kailo Alan.

As long as she could have Kailo Alan, nothing else mattered.

“…”

What couldn’t she do?

The difference in their positions was significant.

Kailo had yet to inherit his family.

He wasn’t the head of the Alan family but merely its eldest son.

Just another nobleman’s heir.

…If she wanted, she could simply force it….

Vivian snapped out of her thoughts.

No matter what, that wasn’t it.

She was startled by her own idea and shook her head.

The relationship she wanted with Kailo wasn’t one built on coercion.

She wanted a natural, voluntary bond where they stayed by each other’s side.

She locked away those violent thoughts in her mind.

…But once a thought arises, it never truly disappears.

It simply hibernates quietly in a corner of the mind.