Chapter 109: Secret

“I’m thirsty…”

I only meant to close my eyes for a moment, but I ended up sleeping until it was dark.

When I opened my eyes, everything was quiet and dark, so it seemed like I had slept for several hours.

I was walking down the dark hallway, feeling my way along the wall, when I heard voices coming from the kitchen.

“…so, in short, that’s it, right?”

“Yeah, #$#…”

I was just going to quietly get some water and leave, but I stopped, trying to make out who was talking.

Looking closely, I saw two people sitting across from each other at the table, talking.

Only a small mood light was turned on in the middle.

Getting closer, I saw that one was my mother and the other was a middle-aged man I had never seen before, who seemed to be the father of this family.

“Is Ji-eun staying the night?”

“Yeah, I think so. She didn’t say much, but she was tired and sleeping. That’s good. We’ll eat breakfast together tomorrow morning, too.”

“Good, it’s nice to have her home after a long time.”

If they weren’t talking about anything important, I was just going to barge in, quickly get some water, and leave.

But I was wide awake now.

Not only was the topic of conversation about me, but they were having the conversation so seriously and heavily that it was hard to interrupt.

And if I eavesdropped here, I might also find out what happened to Ji-eun in the past.

Based on that calculation, I quietly held my breath and eavesdropped on the conversation from behind.

“…Did you two reconcile?”

“No, not yet. I went to talk to her, but she was sleeping… I’m going to try to go to a cafe with her tomorrow if Ji-eun is free.”

So, the problem was between Ji-eun and her mother.

Since they used the word “reconcile,” it seemed like there was a disagreement, but what was the reason?

“There’s not much to reconcile, it’s just a misunderstanding that can be resolved with a little conversation.”

“It’s my fault. I wasn’t expressive enough…”

“It’s not your fault. The situation was just like that.”

A misunderstanding. My curiosity grew even more.

“No, from Ji-eun’s perspective, it’s understandable. I should have taken better care of her so she wouldn’t feel alienated, especially since she’s not our biological child…”

“It was an accident that Ji-eun found out about that in the first place. Don’t blame yourself, it’s not your fault.”

Hmm, so it was a bigger problem than I thought. The problem Ji-eun was entangled in.

If she wasn’t her biological child, then what was she? Was she adopted?

It would be a lie to say that I wasn’t shocked at all. But compared to the shock that the real Ji-eun must have felt, my feelings were just slightly surprised.

I even felt a strange sense of kinship with the original Ji-eun.

If she was adopted, was she an orphan like me?

“Still, if she’s coming home like this, doesn’t that mean Ji-eun’s feelings have all been resolved? She wouldn’t come even if we called her before.”

“Yeah… I guess so. We talked well when we ate earlier.”

“Talk to her well tomorrow. Ji-eun must have come because she misses you.”

The kinship quickly turned into subtle jealousy.

To be adopted into such a good family and then leave home because she felt like her parents didn’t love her.

How spoiled can you be, you.

At the same time, I could also understand Ji-eun’s feelings.

I’ve been an orphan since I had memories, but in Ji-eun’s case, she didn’t even realize that she was adopted.

If she suddenly found out that her parents weren’t her biological parents… would she have felt betrayed?

Or maybe she felt a subtle sense of alienation.

Unlike Ji-yeon, who was her biological child, she was a stranger 끼인 here.

Listening to the story, it seemed that her mother’s taciturn personality also had a significant impact on Ji-eun feeling that way.

But even if I speculate like this, I can’t be sure of anything since I don’t have the past memories.

I’m the real stranger who has become 끼게 된 in this family.

Having learned about Ji-eun’s secret, I nodded and turned around.

It’s not a good idea to join them and drink water in this atmosphere.

I can endure the thirst. It’s not like I’ll die if I don’t drink water right now, so I can come back later or just go back to sleep.

I’ve heard most of what I needed to hear, and I should think about what to say during the conversation with my mother tomorrow.

If my mother apologizes for being sorry, what should I answer? Should I just gloss over it and say it’s okay, or should I apologize first?

I was simulating the conversation as I climbed the stairs.

“Ah.”

Perhaps it was because I was looking at the brightly lit kitchen and then turned my eyes to the dark stairs, but I thought I had grabbed the railing, but I flailed in the air and slipped slightly.

I turned my body to reduce the noise as much as possible, but it still made a not-so-small sound.

“What’s that sound? Did the kids wake up?”

“Ji-yeon, or… is that Ji-eun?”

Of course, there’s no way they wouldn’t hear it in the kitchen.

I bowed my head, anticipating the situation that would follow.

-It’s not that you’re infertile… it’s just that you’re less likely to get pregnant compared to others. It’s better not to have such high expectations-.

When I first heard that story, I felt like my world was collapsing.

A little over three years after marrying my husband, it was a time when the newlywed phase had passed and we were slowly starting to want to have a child.

Despite having countless relationships, why wasn’t a child conceived?

Feeling uneasy, I visited the hospital with a “what if” mentality and heard that news.

I wasn’t infertile, but the probability of getting pregnant was low, that was my body.

The situation was that I was getting older. As time went on, the probability of getting pregnant would decrease even further.

On top of that, not only my parents’ family and my husband’s family, but also my husband seemed to want to see a child, although they didn’t pressure me.

In fact, even if I removed all of that, the person who wanted a child the most was myself.

I wanted to have the fruit of love between my husband and myself. When I saw children holding their mothers’ hands and walking, I couldn’t help but turn my head.

Why was I being given this trial? Was it because there hadn’t been any major 곡절 in my life until now?

It was a time when I was thinking all sorts of things and digging myself into a hole. Despite my husband’s words that it was okay, depression took over my body and I didn’t want to do anything.

It was when I was getting tired of forcing my husband to increase the number of relationships, when I was resigned to giving up, that I met Ji-eun.

-I feel so sorry for that young one…

-Doesn’t she have any relatives or anything to take care of her?

-I heard that both her parents have no connections-.

Her father had a traffic accident. Her mother died while giving birth because she was weak.

Ji-eun became alone as soon as she was born.

She was so pitiful and lovable, squirming alone in the incubator.

It was fortunate that I heard the nurses’ story when I visited the obstetrics and gynecology clinic with the thought that it was the last time.

When they said that she would be going to a baby shelter in time, I didn’t hesitate to say that I would adopt this child.

It didn’t take long to persuade my husband. I heard later that my husband had no reason not to agree just because I, who had been haggard, had become bright again.

Both my parents’ family and my husband’s family were open-minded adults, so they didn’t oppose Ji-eun’s adoption.

They even encouraged me, saying that it must have been a difficult decision, but I had thought it through well.

We thought about giving her a new name, but Ji-eun’s name had already stuck in our mouths, so we decided to just call her Ji-eun.

Something about the name Ji-eun suited her well.

I am proud to say that I had a really happy time after bringing Ji-eun home.

Raising a baby wasn’t easy.

Nevertheless, I was happy.

I was just happy even if I stayed up all night with my eyes open, putting a child to sleep who was crying all the time.

Looking at Ji-eun growing day by day, I felt a strange sense of fulfillment as if one corner of my empty heart was being filled.

Ji-eun, who had been crawling on the floor, was now toddling around on two feet and hugging me.

When she looked at me and called me Mom, I felt like I had the whole world.

The days went by with me feeling proud that adopting Ji-eun was a really good choice. I thought those days of holding my child’s hand and growing old while watching my child grow would continue.

“Yes?”

“You’re pregnant. You’re 8 weeks along.”

Was it because my relationship with my husband had become complete again after bringing Ji-eun?

I became pregnant unexpectedly.

My husband and family were all happy, and I accepted Ji-eun’s younger sibling with a dazed heart.

It was an elderly birth and a difficult birth. On top of that, it was a body that was originally said to be difficult to have children.

Fortunately, I didn’t have a miscarriage, but Ji-yeon was born weak.

She was often sick from a young age, and the childcare was so difficult that I thought Ji-eun was really easy.

It’s not that I didn’t care about Ji-eun just because she was the eldest. It’s just that Ji-yeon was so weak, and I raised her with so much effort, so I cared more about her.

I didn’t know that could hurt Ji-eun.

-Mom, my school talent show today-.

-Ji-yeon, are you sick? You have a high fever… I have to go to the hospital. Huh? What is it, Ji-eun?

-…It’s nothing. I’ll go to school.

Between a busy father and a mother who couldn’t pay attention to her, Ji-eun became a child who couldn’t say she didn’t like it, even if she didn’t like it.

When I came to my senses, she had already become a reliable eldest daughter who could do anything on her own.

I liked that without knowing it, like an idiot. Without knowing that my child’s heart was festering.

I was the only one who didn’t feel the signs. The relationship between our mother and daughter was slowly breaking apart.