Chapter 108: How to Do Bad Things

“Is this… perhaps a dream?”

The first words I uttered at our long-awaited reunion weren’t particularly eloquent.

It couldn’t be helped. This was someone who shouldn’t be here. No, someone who couldn’t be here. When such a person suddenly appears before your eyes, anyone would be startled.

“What dream? You dummy.”

So-yul answered as she approached with leisurely steps, hopping lightly one foot at a time.

Being called a dummy after so long felt unusually ticklish.

Finally reaching me, So-yul gently lifted her head to look up at me.

Her face with its faint smile perfectly matched my beloved girlfriend’s appearance.

The scent wafting from her, like sweet flower fragrance, was also identical to the So-yul etched in my memory.

“…Sorry. I just can’t believe it.”

As I finally managed to push sound from my throat, So-yul covered her mouth and chuckled.

“What? Is it that shocking for your girlfriend to visit your home?”

So-yul, deliberately asking this while fully aware that it was indeed ‘that shocking,’ seemed truly cunning.

But at this moment, even that playful tone only made her presence feel more real.

I unconsciously reached toward So-yul, then immediately withdrew my hand.

Perhaps confused by this inexplicable gesture, So-yul widened her eyes and asked,

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, just, I’m still processing the situation. I was wondering if I could touch you to confirm.”

Could the So-yul before me be merely a momentary mirage?

Perhaps I’d created a fantasy in my mind because I missed her so desperately.

After various considerations, the desire to feel So-yul grew stronger.

It seemed the only way to truly recognize that she was here.

Hearing my explanation, So-yul blushed slightly and:

“That’s fine. I’ll give you permission, so you can touch as much as you want.”

“…How far am I allowed to touch?”

“Wherever you just thought of is off-limits. Dummy.”

So-yul immediately countered my somewhat mischievous quip without backing down.

Realizing this was the usual flow of conversation between us, I couldn’t help but smile.

But was this also one of So-yul’s favorite pranks?

Soon after, So-yul displayed a gentle smile and lightly grabbed my wrist.

Then, as if putting on a hat, she placed my palm on top of her head and whispered.

“Besides, you never asked permission to touch me in the first place.”

“…”

Well, that was true.

At any rate, it seemed that patting her head was acceptable, so I decided to comply.

I stroked her sunlit hair that shimmered brilliantly. As always, her neatly arranged hair fluttered like silk.

The moment that soft sensation touched my palm, an electric tingle rushed through my entire body.

My heart swelled until my head felt dizzy, and goosebumps seemed to rise all over my body.

Enjoying the long-missed touch, So-yul closed her eyes tightly, appearing to savor the feeling.

The occasional twitches expressing ticklishness matched exactly how I had imagined So-yul over the past few days.

Even the way she slightly bowed her head to make it easier to stroke was identical to the So-yul I knew.

By this point, I didn’t care whether the So-yul before me was a mirage or an illusion.

I carefully wrapped my arms around So-yul’s fragile body.

Having finally reunited with this precious person I had once lost, I wanted to hold her tight so she would never leave my side again.

“…Huu.”

Perhaps startled by the sudden contact, So-yul trembled and let out a pitiful breath.

But soon she nestled her face against my chest as if she had missed being in my arms.

As I gently stroked her back, So-yul relaxed completely and leaned firmly against me.

How long had we been embracing, feeling each other’s warmth?

Though simply sharing each other’s body heat like this would certainly be happiness enough, there was something I absolutely needed to confirm right now.

While continuing to stroke So-yul’s delicate back, I carefully chose my words.

“So, how did you get here?”

It was a question about how she had managed to find her way to this house.

So-yul’s mother and the school had constantly kept their eyes peeled to prevent our meetings.

In such circumstances, it was impossible that they had given her permission to visit her exiled boyfriend.

In other words, So-yul must have had to sacrifice something to meet me.

“…Hmm.”

Though she must have heard my question, So-yul remained silent with her face buried against me.

As the silence lengthened, anxiety gradually grew in my chest.

The pounding of my heart would surely be transmitted clearly to So-yul.

After a while, So-yul answered, feigning a deliberately casual tone.

“…A girlfriend visiting her boyfriend’s house. Nothing strange about that, right?”

“No, but still.”

“It’s fortunate I knew your address. Even with my phone confiscated, I vaguely remembered the way here. Though I never expected to come like this.”

With that, So-yul forcibly concluded the story saying, “That’s how it happened.”

Her pretense of not knowing, of being fine, her evasiveness—all seemed to prove that she hadn’t escaped by normal means.

But perhaps she didn’t intend to hide it completely. Soon, So-yul raised her head and looked up at me.

Her expression revealed a pain distinctly different from the bright countenance she had shown until now.

A moment later, her rosy pink lips moved slightly, and a single sentence flowed out.

“…I ran away. I lied to my mother and the teachers.”

It was the answer I had expected.

Of course. These were people who wouldn’t even permit us to date quietly within the school. There was zero possibility they would have granted permission for an outing to meet her exiled boyfriend.

As anticipated… So-yul had ultimately abandoned numerous things and chosen me.

So-yul’s explanation continued.

“Originally, I decided to just accept it. That I was wrong from the beginning for liking someone in a school where romance was forbidden. Thinking it was a relationship that had gone awry from the start.”

It seemed So-yul had also spent time in similar anguish as me.

Time buried in emotions resembling resignation, regretting that we should never have started something like this in the first place.

“Me too. I thought I’d never see you again. I even regretted getting close to you in the first place, thinking if I’d known it would hurt this much…”

“…Huhu. Just like me.”

As I finally revealed my innermost thoughts, So-yul nestled more firmly in my arms as if to comfort me.

Then, with a bright smile:

“But on my way to record the interview, I remembered. The day you grumbled, ‘I don’t want people across the country to know about Han So-yul.'”

“Well. I wasn’t grumbling.”

“You were.”

I understand. Hearing such a resolute retort, I sealed my lips.

Finding this reaction amusing, So-yul burst into a characteristic “pft” laugh and:

“That’s when I realized. If I confessed my love in this interview, it would reach you. No, perhaps the whole world might understand our sincerity.”

So-yul, who had briefly composed herself, added a casual “hihi” laugh.

To me, it seemed like she was making a ticklish sound and feeling awkward about it.

Indeed, that was true. No matter how much they tried to prevent us from meeting, they couldn’t cut off the airwaves. There was no better means to convey a heartfelt confession to me from afar.

As I nodded silently, So-yul narrowed her eyes slightly and showed a slight smile.

“So I decided. To pour out my heart in the interview. Then pretend I’d forgotten everything, pretend I was okay, and come to see you.”

“…I see.”

Reflecting on it, Juho had mentioned this too.

That from a certain day, So-yul no longer appeared sad.

At the time, I had felt relieved, thinking she must have decided to erase me.

In such a situation, all I could hope for was that she would quickly forget.

Believing we would meet again someday was futile.

But apparently, So-yul had been looking in the completely opposite direction from me.

She had made an inner determination, firmly resolving to visit me herself.

As expected… she was dozens of times more mature than her inadequate boyfriend.

Eventually, So-yul slightly lowered her eyes and hid her expression against my chest.

“From then on, I deceived everyone. I told the orchestra teacher who came to watch the interview that I’d be fine on my own, so they couldn’t see. Even to my homeroom teacher who worried about me, I deliberately showed a cheerful smile.”

A situation where she had to return lies to those who cared for her.

So-yul rubbed her cheek against my chest, expressing how painful this had been.

Thinking about how this fragile girlfriend had desperately hidden her pain for my sake made my heart ache sharply.

“I even pretended to give up and accept everything in front of my mother. Since the interview would be broadcast Sunday morning. My mother happens to be away on weekend mornings, so I decided to hold out until then…”

So-yul continued her story with an infinitely fragile voice.

I gently patted her delicate back and whispered.

“So that’s why you came to see me today.”

“…Yes.”

So-yul, still with her face pressed against me, nodded and:

“Once the interview broadcasts, the school will be in chaos anyway. I decided to escape at dawn today. I even asked my friend to contact you so you would watch the interview.”

“…Hmm.”

It seemed she didn’t know that friend was a vicious blackmailer.

Well, sometimes ignorance is bliss. At the very least, they had indeed helped today, so I decided to be grateful.

So-yul exhaled a suppressed sigh and:

“When I finally escaped from school, I even deceived the security guard.”

“The security guard?”

“Yes. He was someone who treated me kindly since I had many occasions to go out. Perhaps because of that, he didn’t check exit permits thoroughly, so I showed him a fake permit…”

So-yul trailed off in an extremely subdued voice.

She seemed to feel enormous guilt for betraying someone’s kindness to escape.

This was something I couldn’t even imagine. For me, that same person would first shoot distrustful glances when presented with an exit permit. The thought of trying to show a fake exit permit to such a security guard had never crossed my mind.

Conversely… it meant So-yul had lived as an exemplary student acknowledged by everyone, to the extent that no one would doubt her.

Even her getting caught dating me had been smoothed over at the school level. From the perspective of someone unaware of the details, they couldn’t have dreamed So-yul would tell such a lie.

Therefore, it must have been an even greater decision for So-yul.

She had come to me throwing away everything—the trust she had built over time, her image as a model student, her complicated relationship with her mother.

In short, just to meet one person like me.

She had demolished everything she had built up till now.

“…Are you really okay with throwing everything away just for me?”

Having reached this conclusion, I inadvertently muttered these pathetic words.

I like So-yul. So-yul also likes me.

If there were no obstacles, we could promise a lifetime together, such is how much we cherish each other.

But the world doesn’t permit our relationship.

Even escaping from a school that forbids romance, there remains the obstacle of So-yul’s mother.

A person who even confiscated her phone to make contact impossible—she wasn’t someone who would accept our relationship.

So there could have been a way to cherish the memories we’d made so far in her heart and stop.

Perhaps that would have been the path that would make So-yul happiest.

Far more than giving up everything she had built to be with just me.

Though this was the intention behind my utterance.

“Dummy.”

So-yul instantly dismissed it with her usual habitual phrase.

I didn’t think it was a statement stupid enough to be called a dummy. Thinking this while looking down at So-yul in my arms, she eventually raised her head and met my gaze.

Only after hearing what followed did I understand So-yul’s true feelings.

“…On the day of the arts festival, you came all the way backstage and used all your strength to be my support.”

So-yul stared at me intently with wavering eyes and:

“When I failed at the concours, you worked so hard you caught a cold, just to keep me from falling apart.”

Each word filled with sincerity, reaching deep into my heart.

“Having permeated so deeply into me like that.”

Whispering softly in a voice mixed with slight breaths.

“How can you now tell me I shouldn’t have chosen you? …Dummy.”

She spoke like this, with an expression of slight complaint as she gently pushed me away.

Hearing it, I realized I had indeed said something foolish.

Just as So-yul had permeated into me, I must have permeated into So-yul too.

Having created memories together that we would never forget for a lifetime, having shared similar emotions.

As she said in the interview, feeling like she wanted to demand I take responsibility.

Yet here I was telling her to reject me and leave.

At this point, it seemed more like selfishness than consideration.

So-yul, who had pushed me away and left my embrace, wore a sulky expression with her hands behind her back.

Her puffed-up cheeks revealed her dissatisfaction with me.

Then she thrust her upper body forward and began to stare up at me intently.

“…Well? Do you understand now?”

What followed was speech that sounded considerably annoyed.

Making my girlfriend sulk when we just reunited after so long. I wondered if I could ever properly fulfill my role as a boyfriend. It seemed I was still far from becoming a dependable man.

“Yes…”

I gave an awkward response out of embarrassment.

But perhaps even this was just one of So-yul’s pranks.

Somehow, So-yul was now looking at me with a gentle smile.

It was hard to believe this was the same face that had been sulking just moments ago.

Only, in those eyes… there was a shimmering moistness for some reason.

“Actually, I only realized after we broke up.”

After a moment, So-yul began with a trembling voice.

Moving her body, which had been several steps away, right up in front of me.

Then slowly extending her hands from behind her back toward me.

Grasping the fabric near my chest firmly, as if determined never to let go.

“That being a good girl on my own has no meaning at all.”

The moment that whisper reached me, So-yul’s honey-brown hair fluttered exquisitely.

There was a slight force in So-yul’s hand as it held onto my chest.

The sweet scent that always emanated from So-yul gradually intensified, tickling my nose.

By the time I came to my senses.

So-yul’s face, flushed bright red, filled my vision.

“So…”

Finally, So-yul gave me a pitiful look and:

Moving her lovely pink lips close to mine.

“…Let’s do something bad together.”

Intense fragrance.

A face up close.

Cheeks flushed bright red.

The sensation of lips… much softer and squishier than I had imagined.

A thrilling feeling filled me, like electricity running through my entire body.

An illusion enveloped me, as if the whole world was swirling in disarray.

All my nerves stood on end, making even the passing breeze feel sweet.

In the midst of this intense sensation washing over me like waves, I vaguely thought.

That as long as I was with So-yul, everything would be alright.

That even in difficult and overwhelming moments, having each other by our side would be enough.

That no matter how burdensome the hardship, we could overcome it by holding hands.

So just like this… let’s do something bad together.