Chapter 107: You cant go anywhere – 1

It was as if time had stopped.

Vivian froze, looking up at me.

Her crimson eyes were a mix of confusion and pain.

The silence stretched on endlessly, feeling unbearably long.

In that silence, I felt the weight of our farewell again.

It was agonizing.

I never thought that speaking of parting would be this difficult.

But this too was one of the trials I had to overcome, and I wanted to believe it would be the last.

Her frozen figure felt somehow unfamiliar.

Vivian seemed as though she had reverted to the thirteen-year-old I first met.

The innocence of that time, yet also a face etched with deep wounds and confusion.

No, perhaps it was even worse than back then.

She hadn’t made this expression even after losing her mother.

She seemed not to have anticipated my leaving.

Or perhaps she had, but the shock crushed her regardless.

-Swish.

In an instant, Vivian leaned her body toward me.

She tried to wrap her arms around me again.

It was as if she was a drowning person desperately clinging to her last breath.

But I gritted my teeth and pushed her away.

A small scuffle and slight physical struggle ensued as I pushed her back.

Vivian grew increasingly frustrated.

Her face bore an expression of incomprehension, as though she had hit an invisible wall she couldn’t understand.

After wrestling for a while, she clenched her teeth and looked up at me.

Seeing her expression, I steeled my resolve even further.

“…Send me back to my hometown.”

Biting her lip, Vivian forced a smile.

“Y-You’re saying you’ll go and come back, right?”

I shook my head.

“No. I won’t come back.”

“Then… that means we’ll never meet again…”

Vivian asked, as if she couldn’t comprehend.

“…I know. That’s my intention.”

“You’re saying you’ll part with me forever?”

“There’s no longer a reason for us to hold hands. We’ve survived well… Now, let’s each go our own way.”

“…Go our own way?”

Vivian reacted as if I had spoken an incomprehensible language.

“…You’re saying… you’ll leave me and… live on?”

It was a question that might sound arrogant to others, but between the two of us, it was perfectly understood.

Until now, whenever we imagined the future, we had always envisioned each other in it.

A future without one another was foreign and unfamiliar to both of us.

I had never imagined a life without her.

But now, it seemed like the only path forward.

“I’ll take over my family. Just as you sustain Rondor, I’ll sustain my family.”

“…But I won’t be there.”

“I’ll endure it.”

Slowly, anger ignited in Vivian’s eyes.

“And after that…?”

I knew what she was asking.

Even though she didn’t want to hear the answer, I replied with even greater determination.

“…I’ll build a family with another woman.”

It was then that sparks flew in Vivian’s crimson eyes.

Flames ignited within them.

“…With someone other than me? Who?”

Her voice quickly filled with scorn and derision.

“Do you really think… someone would accept a man whose body is like a patchwork quilt if it’s not me?”

Her determination to break my will was palpable.

Vivian cherished my scars.

Her gentle touches on them always revealed how much she regretted and appreciated them.

Every time she traced my scars with her hands, it was as if she was recalling the memories tied to them.

At such moments, I, too, thought my scars weren’t so bad after all.

Vivian, knowing this, declared that no one else would feel the same.

She conveyed that once I left her hands, my body would be nothing but a monstrosity.

“Your body is covered in scars because of me…! Do you really think another woman would accept that?”

“Why wouldn’t they?”

“It’s as if my name is carved all over your body! You were hurt because of me! Your body is marked as mine!!”

In the end, I spoke to crush her resolve.

“I’ve already received information about more than enough marriage proposals.”

Her face stiffened.

“…From who?”

“Kayla. My younger sister.”

“…”

“Think about it, Vivian. You seem to forget sometimes…”

“We’re from the Alan family. Do you think there are only one or two families desperate to connect with us? You, as the leader of Rondor, should understand this well.”

Vivian let out a hollow laugh.

“So you’ll live with another woman instead of me?”

“Have children, forget me… and live on like that.”

A clear jealousy colored her gaze.

“You’ll whisper sweet nothings to someone else instead of me?”

Suppressing the strange pain I felt in my chest, I answered.

“…Why wouldn’t I? If I could love even you.”

My words deeply wounded Vivian again, but she still clung to me.

“Then…! Then what about me…!!”

“Then I’ll…! After you leave, I’ll find another man, too?”

Her words were meant to provoke me.

Hiding the pain that scenario caused, I responded.

From the beginning, I had already considered this when deciding to part.

“Go ahead. Find someone else. I’ll find too.”

My calm response only added fuel to her provocation.

Vivian’s face twisted in anguish, as if it might tear apart.

“You still love me…! Can you really say that?”

“…I’ve decided not to trust my feelings anymore.”

Vivian swung her arm.

Even seeing it, I didn’t dodge.

-Smack!

“Get a hold of yourself, please!!”

Vivian cried out desperately.

“Are you saying you’re leaving me just because of an old woman’s words?”

“Just because of an old woman?”

Her words stirred something deep inside me.

I threw off my jacket, revealing countless scars hidden beneath it.

These scars were far worse and deeper than the ones visible on my arms, neck, and ears.

They were the scars Vivian loved.

“That old woman you’re talking about… don’t you see what she did to me?”

We may have liked these scars, but through cold logic, they were grotesque, just as Vivian said.

They were marks of the hardships I endured.

I whispered, trying to hold back my anger.

“…I don’t want to be hurt anymore.”

-Swoosh!

Before I could stop her, Vivian lunged at me again.

She wrapped her arms around me and clasped her hands together.

I tried to push her away, but she wouldn’t budge.

If I used more force, I was afraid I’d hurt her.

“Don’t lie to me, Kailo…”

Vivian whispered, almost sobbing.

She wasn’t crying, but her voice was filled with desperation.

“I know…! You’re not leaving because of that! It’s not because you doubt your feelings for me… it’s not because you’re unsure!”

“What are you talking about? That’s exactly why I’m leaving.”

“You’re scared of hurting me, aren’t you?”

Vivian suddenly asked.

I found myself unable to respond.

“If the curse is real… I won’t be able to have children! You will die young at thirty! That’s why you’re afraid of hurting me, isn’t it?”

I opened my mouth, but no words came out.

Vivian pressed on with even more determination.

“You’re running away because you don’t think you can stay by my side forever, because you don’t think you can give me a family! You’re scared and running away before it even happens!”

After hesitating for a long time, I finally whispered.

“…Can you handle it?”

The strength in my arms, which had been pushing her away, weakened.

“If you really can’t have children… if I die at thirty… can you handle that?”

Vivian’s voice began to carry a hint of madness, a possessiveness that was almost terrifying.

“Why would I need children?”

“What?”

“I only need you! What does it matter if you die at thirty? If you die, I’ll follow you!!”

“Vivian…!”

“Don’t you understand that a world without you is hell for me?”

Looking at Vivian, who was screaming in desperation, I was left speechless.

My heart ached painfully at her desperation.

She continued.

“I won’t leave you! I can’t leave you! I don’t need happiness! Even if being with you is unbearably painful, I’ll endure it. Even if it ends in ruin… I’ll stay with you for even one more day. I have to.”

“So… if you’re scared, then this time, you take my hand. I’ll be fine…”

As she clung to me, she couldn’t see my face.

I let the pain I had been suppressing show in my expression.

With my eyes tightly shut, I felt Vivian’s desperate warmth.

My hands, as if moving on their own, almost reached to embrace her.

At that moment, she felt so fragile and insecure that I feared I might have to hold her up.

But I took a deep breath, steadying my heart.

I knew the cost of faltering in this moment would be immense.

“…It’s not that. I’ve simply made up my mind.”

“Ka… Kailo… please…”

“I’ve spent too long living a life falsely accused in this land. If I was brought here unjustly, I want to go back now.”

“Sooner or later, Robert’s rumors will reach the royal family, and my situation will change. Before that happens, let me go. Let’s end this cleanly.”

Vivian’s movements gradually stilled, as if she realized I had made up my mind.

The desperate, pleading girl slowly disappeared, and the Duchess of Rondor, who rebuilt her family, emerged.

-Swoosh.

Vivian calmly pulled away from my arms.

Her movements were no longer driven by emotion, and her expression was as unreadable as stone.

“…Cleanly?”

She asked in a quiet voice.

“…Yes, cleanly.”

I answered with difficulty.

She seemed to have resigned herself to the reality that she couldn’t hold onto me.

Perhaps this way was better for both of us.

Better than a tear-filled, screaming farewell.

Ending it coldly, firmly, was for the best.

“…Alright, Kailo.”

Vivian said coldly.

I looked at her with trembling eyes, trying to steel myself.

I began to speak.

“…Thank you for everyth-“

“You’re not going anywhere.”

Vivian cut me off abruptly.

“…What?”

“I’ll give you some time. Think about it again. I’m feeling too rushed to make a proper judgment. Let’s talk about this again later.”

Before I could say anything else, Vivian turned away.

Without hesitation, she walked away from me.

I could only stand there, watching her retreating figure for a long time.

Her back seemed to say it all.

There’s no such thing as a clean break.

Things will get messy, messier than ever.

For some reason, it felt like we had returned to the familiar dynamic of our past relationship.

The one where we broke each other’s will and shattered one another.

***

Late at night, as the smell of cigarettes lingered, Vivian asked.

“…Is Kailo under a curse?”

The sound of a deep exhale was followed by an even denser smell of tobacco.

That scent seemed to calm the trembling in my chest a little.

“…I don’t know. I haven’t seen him up close.”

Elena’s voice was calm, but a hint of hesitation lay beneath her composure.

“Then, please check.”

Vivian’s voice grew more desperate, but Elena shook her head.

“I don’t have the courage to stand before Kailo Alan. There’s no reason to put myself in front of a witch hunter.”

“Master—”

“Besides, do you have the courage?”

Elena moved from the window and leaned against the desk beside Vivian.

The faint moonlight streaming through the window illuminated Elena’s face.

“…Will you be okay? If Kailo Alan’s heart truly is cursed… could you handle it?”

…Kailo’s heart, cursed?

Vivian’s hands trembled violently.

Come to think of it, she didn’t have the courage to accept that possibility either.

No matter what, Vivian needed Kailo’s love.

Without it, she couldn’t endure a single breath.

But if his heart truly was cursed… then what should she do?

Would she have to accept the fact that his love was merely a result of the curse, without any genuine feelings beneath it?

Would she have to acknowledge that all his efforts, everything he’d shown her, were not his own choices or will?

Vivian let out a deep sigh and clenched her trembling hands tightly.

She could understand the fear Kailo must have felt.

They shared the same fear this time as well.

“…And if it is a curse, then it must be broken… can you do it? It would mean Kailo Alan no longer loves you.”

“…Ah.”

Vivian pressed a hand against her chest.

The pain was so overwhelming that it was hard to bear.

She couldn’t face Kailo looking at her with cold, emotionless eyes.

She couldn’t hold on to him if he left, devoid of any affection or regrets.

The more she thought about it, the more it felt like a curse.

A curse had been placed on Vivian too.

If it truly was a curse, it had to be broken, but losing Kailo’s love would be like death for Vivian.

Neither option was an easy choice.

Just as Kailo had said he would leave her… imagining him whispering love to another woman.

Thinking of him protecting someone else with the same kindness he had shown her…

Burning himself completely to protect another woman without a second thought…

The taste of blood lingered on her lips from biting them so hard.

Vivian was powerless.

Even if Kailo wasn’t cursed, there was no way to prove it.

Kailo firmly believed he was under a curse.

Vivian couldn’t think of any way to shatter that belief.

She couldn’t even reveal herself as a witch.

In the end, the only thing she could do was force her way through.

For now, all she could do was stop Kailo from leaving.

And in the meantime, hope that his heart would change.

“Just let him go, Vivian.”

Elena suggested.

But Vivian didn’t listen to her words at all.

There’s still a chance.

Vivian repeated to herself.

If I can just persuade him…

She still hadn’t let go of hope.

Vivian still had a weapon left.

It was time for her to be honest with herself.

Whenever she learned a woman’s techniques from Madame Linne, there was always someone Vivian imagined in her place.

Even if it meant being shamelessly desperate, she now felt it was time to try what she had learned.

From being the one loved to the one who gives love.

If there was any way to hold on to his heart, Vivian was prepared to do anything.