I Don’t Want to be a Villainess – Chapter 106

However, the other party did not reveal their “true nature”.

No, more than that, I wondered if that “true nature” had actually been evident from the beginning.

Everything I knew had completely changed in just the few months since I lost my memory.

For example, the condition of all the servants in the mansion was different from what I remembered.

First, there was Yang Hye-in.

“Is there anything you’d like to eat today?”

“Are you dining out for dinner?”

“I’ll be waiting.”

Originally, she wouldn’t even speak to me first, and I had to ask in a small voice to get her to do anything, but now she strangely kept initiating conversations with me.

Even without me speaking first, she would tell me what needed to be done and ask for my opinion.

When I answered, she even respected my wishes.

It was completely different from the puppet-like figure I remembered her to be.

What on earth had happened in the meantime?

…Of course, I hadn’t asked yet.

If she realized I didn’t know something I should, her attitude might revert to how it was before.

And then, there was a girl named “Shin So-hee”.

I only realized she was my new personal maid after overhearing her talking to Yang Hye-in.

Boldly, she even called Yang Hye-in “senior” in a friendly manner.

From what I could tell, Yang Hye-in didn’t seem to dislike it either.

But this girl was different from the other “servants”.

When no one else was around, she spoke to me casually.

Actually, even in front of others, she usually dropped the formalities.

She only acted like a servant and spoke politely when absolutely necessary, like when we were in front of the other servants except for Yang Hye-in.

Strangely enough, I found that bold, even brazen attitude somewhat to my liking.

In fact, I had never encountered someone like her before.

The people in front of me always wore invisible masks, trying excessively hard to please me.

But… although it sounds a bit rude, Shin So-hee seemed almost naively straightforward, even to the point of being thoughtless.

Maybe because she was so glad I was “safe”, she would boldly grab my hand, link arms with me, or hug me.

It was all a bit overwhelming.

After all, these were gestures I had only shared with my mother.

Doing them with someone else, except when I was very young, was a first.

At least, that’s how I remembered it.

Because for the past few months, it seemed like Shin So-hee and I had been doing these things quite naturally.

To be honest, compared to my mother’s hugs, hers were a bit uncomfortable.

Not emotionally, but physically.

Shin So-hee didn’t adjust her strength when she handled me.

She would tug at my arm, pull my hand, and hug me so tightly that my face would get buried in her chest.

…But oddly enough, I liked those suffocating hugs.

Could this be due to the faint remnants of the old me?

No, maybe it was because I could feel that she genuinely liked me through those actions.

Ah, so this is what it means to have a friend.

I learned that from Shin So-hee.

Lee Soo-ah, on the other hand, wasn’t as rough as Shin So-hee.

She often had an expression so shy it made me embarrassed just watching her, but she openly showed how much she liked me.

If there was an empty seat next to me, she would quickly come over and link arms with me.

She would gently press her body against mine and, when holding hands, interlock our fingers.

When Lee Soo-ah stood next to me, she gave off a nice scent.

It felt oddly familiar, and upon thinking carefully, I realized it was the same scent as the shampoo and body wash I used.

…Right, it would be weirder if she smelled different.

Both Shin So-hee and Lee Soo-ah had been staying in my room, after all.

One as my personal maid, the other as a guest.

Yes, and that “guest” had even been sleeping in the same bed as me.

Honestly, I still wasn’t used to that.

Maybe because it had only been about a week?

Whenever Lee Soo-ah lay next to me, she would turn towards me and quietly watch me.

Her gaze made me feel embarrassed.

There was one time I met her eyes directly, and even though she was incredibly shy, she didn’t avoid my gaze.

My heart fluttered at that, and I ended up squeezing my eyes shut.

Yes, it was embarrassing.

But oddly enough, I didn’t dislike it.

If I had a sister who shared the same room, would it feel like this?

Strangely, every morning when I woke up, I would find the maid, who had fallen asleep in a different bed, sleeping beside me…

But I didn’t mind the warmth at all.

That wasn’t the only thing that had changed.

The servants would quickly lower their heads whenever our eyes met.

The servants who used to ignore me as if I were invisible, offering only the most perfunctory greetings, now recognized me as their “employer”.

Surprisingly, I didn’t feel much seeing those who once disregarded me tremble in fear.

I just ignored them the same way they had ignored me.

School had changed as well.

I was no longer invisible.

“Hello.”

As I walked down the hallway, someone would always greet me as they passed by.

Even though I had no idea who they were and couldn’t recall their faces clearly even in my hazy memories, they would greet me.

Some students would avoid eye contact with me or quickly walk away after passing by, while others would look at me curiously as I stuck close to Shin So-hee, Lee Soo-ah, and Yoo Ha-neul.

It wasn’t a bad feeling.

Only a few students spoke to me, and most still seemed uncomfortable around me, but it was far better than being treated as if I didn’t exist.

In my childhood, I had tried so hard to gain a life like this.

I had screamed for people to talk to me, to look at me, but couldn’t even get this minimum level of attention, which I now found myself receiving.

How in the world…?

It was puzzling.

“Since that day, it seems like people’s thoughts have been changing little by little.”

While we were eating lunch at school, a blue-haired student spoke.

The nametag on the student, who was sitting at our table, read “Son A-reum”.

She seemed to be part of the school’s disciplinary committee.

“They’ve realized that nothing bad happens when they talk to you. The rumors that have been circulating were probably just baseless gossip, after all.”

Baseless gossip.

Yes, that’s how she described it.

…The way I had been treated up until now, the way that treatment had eaten away at my life, had all been because of mere “gossip”.

I had even contemplated dying over it.

But now that I knew the truth, oddly enough, I felt nothing.

Neither towards the source of the gossip nor towards those who had been deceived by it.

I felt strangely calm.

*

“…Sara.”

It was exactly a week after I “returned” when the girl named Yoo Ha-neul, who had been watching me from a distance, carefully called out to me.

While Lee Soo-ah and Shin So-hee were actively approaching me and showering me with affection, Yoo Ha-neul watched me with a worried expression.

She ate meals with me and sometimes held my hand or linked arms with me, but unlike the other two who clung to me and refused to let go, she would pull away after a short while.

I wasn’t curious about the reason.

People around me had always been much colder than that.

In fact, from my point of view, she seemed quite close to me.

…But that didn’t mean I was entirely oblivious.

Did Yoo Ha-neul dislike me?

Did she perhaps sense that I wasn’t the “me” I used to be?

Since childhood, I had frequently encountered people who would hide their true feelings while approaching me, so I could tell when someone was masking their emotions to some extent.

Yoo Ha-neul was one of those people.

At least, from what I could see.

She didn’t seem like a bad person, but… she didn’t seem like someone who would be easily swayed either.

“What’s up?”

I was gradually learning how to hold conversations.

It still felt a bit awkward.

I was afraid that people might realize I wasn’t who they thought I was by hearing me speak.

But there was no point in hiding it from someone who already knew.

“There’s something I want to talk about.”

After thinking for a while, Yoo Ha-neul finally spoke.

She led me to the rooftop after skipping class.

I had been there a few times.

I had even once contemplated how likely it was to succeed if I fell from here.

Yoo Ha-neul settled down near the railing.

I stood a few steps away.

Shin So-hee, who had followed us, asked, “Is it the same thing as last time?” and said she would wait by the rooftop door.

“So, what did you want to talk about?”

“…”

Yoo Ha-neul looked down at the playground for a long time, then finally turned to me as if she had made up her mind.

“I made a promise, but…”

What kind of promise?

“…No matter how I think about it, I feel like it’s not right for you to be left in the dark.”

Moisture glistened in Yoo Ha-neul’s eyes as she spoke.

With an expression as if she were about to cry at any moment, she looked at me and said,

“You’re ‘Ye Sara’, right?”

“…”

It was an illogical question.

But I knew the intent behind it.

…There was no point in trying to hide it anymore, was there?

This girl must have known from the start that I wasn’t really “that person”.

“Yes. I’m ‘Ye Sara’.”

I was overwhelmed with happiness, yet unable to fully accept it.

Deep down, I wondered if these people, too, were really seeking something else beyond me.

Fearing that if they found out I wasn’t truly “myself”, they would all leave me, I continued to hide the truth.

A coward who had been running away in the shadows.

I still wasn’t certain what “I” had done over the past three months.

But it was clear that the current situation had been created by “me”.

A version of “me” that even I didn’t know.

“…Do you have any memories of the past few months?”

“No.”

I answered firmly.

“I see.”

Yoo Ha-neul nodded.

Then, she slowly opened her mouth.

“…Before you came back, there was another ‘Sara’ who spent time with us.”

“…”

I listened quietly.

“She worried about you a lot.”

“…What?”