The infirmary door will always be open.

‘……’

‘Oh my, your expression has hardened. If you’re uncomfortable with being cursed at, just cut my neck.’

‘I can’t do that. You’re a valuable military asset.’

Bullshit.

The Red Cross unit I belonged to at the time was part of the Imperial Army, but it was closer to a support force sent by the ‘Grand Duchy’ that was granted autonomy within the Empire.

As we were in a ‘cooperative relationship’ rather than officially under his command, even though he might be higher in rank, it was entirely possible to refuse orders considering the unit’s circumstances.

Ignoring this is essentially the same as the Viscount picking a fight with the Grand Duke.

‘Can’t be helped. I’ll exclude you from this operation. However, sending a rescue team afterward to recover the damage…’

‘I’ll do that much since it’s my job, but don’t expect too much. The most we can do on the front lines is emergency treatment, and we can’t save people who have disappeared without a trace, like the reconnaissance unit that died in the bombing last time.’

‘…You should know that was a successful operation, right?’

‘You know that the ones who died without enjoying even a speck of that success were those who went on reconnaissance trusting only your words, right?’

A decoy operation to draw the enemy’s attention and then strike from behind…

There’s nothing wrong with the operation itself. It’s understandable that the side drawing attention should bear the risk.

But even that endurance should be possible only if they know what they’re doing, right?

Even the Japanese army in World War II at least told soldiers to their faces to go and die, but doing things excessively should have its limits.

‘It seems… asking for understanding is too much.’

‘They say war is a contest of who can act more like a dog, but what you’re doing is too much. By the way, do you remember the names of the reconnaissance unit members who participated in that operation?’

Of course, he wouldn’t remember.

He’s a person who has been treating soldiers as consumables, solely focused on victory from the start.

The names of soldiers who have already burned to death would be as insignificant to him as today’s dinner menu.

Something that can be forgotten as soon as the operation is over…

‘Commander Serko.’

‘Huh, so you remember the commander’s name at least.’

‘Calvin, Edam. Pyro, Cella… I remember all the names of their subordinates too. Would you like me to recite the names of those who filled their vacant positions as well?’

‘……’

‘…If you have nothing more to say, withdraw. You’re not the only one I need to hear reports from.’

So he has the conscience to memorize names at least.

If he had been a consistently terrible person, I wouldn’t feel this dirty.

---

“There are people who occasionally misunderstand. People who think they can do anything just because they stand above others.”

Yes, it’s a big misunderstanding to think it’s unexpected that such a trash person remembers people’s names.

In the end, it’s true that he doesn’t care for people’s hearts, and that means he should be prepared to receive unjustified sadism from those watching him.

“But regardless of rank or position, officers and soldiers are all people with hearts in the end. When the rank insignia falls off, everyone is in an equal position, and no one would easily accept throwing away their life at the words of such a person.”

Of course, this applies to class societies divided into nobles and commoners, but on the battlefield, there exists ‘force’ that is closer than rights or property.

When you have a weapon in your hand that can kill someone, and the person who oppressed you is within arm’s reach if you fall.

If one’s patience is tested to the point where even family or ethics can’t act as a restraint, couldn’t an irreversible result occur with just one impulse?

“But still, if it’s the military…”

“Yes, if you’re a soldier, you should fight risking your life to protect your hometown. And it’s the officer’s job to take responsibility until they return to that hometown.”

Only colony-forming organisms like ants or bees can completely abandon their selves for the collective.

Even though there’s a power called Holy Power, even religion couldn’t achieve the ideal of totalitarianism, which is why medicine developed, albeit belatedly. Even in the military where the absoluteness of order and command is premised, expecting it to be perfectly realized is nothing more than an ideal.

Because it’s impossible, officers should never view soldiers as mere consumables.

Before ethics or morality, such a harsh attitude could come back as a knife aiming at their back.

“And your father probably argued like this. That there’s a need to reinforce the military even in times of peace.”

“…Are you saying that’s wrong too?”

“Apart from whether it’s right or wrong, I’m saying that if you do things the same way as in the past, you should be prepared to be hated by others. There might have been an excuse that it couldn’t be helped during the war, but it shouldn’t be like that anymore.”

Because he, the people he leads, and even those he’s wary of are all the same people.

Before, as they were all armed groups, they could prevent insubordination if they had the ability to protect themselves, but ironically, in society, one cannot protect oneself with force alone.

Rather, because it’s a time of peace, methods that abandon humanity act as poison.

Anyone who has heard of that notoriety would think he should be excluded.

“Even if he had shown just a little respect to those who followed him, it might have been different… but it’s too late to claim such things now that everything is over.”

Even I, aside from personal grudges, am in no position to claim his innocence.

That’s why I couldn’t help but feel bitter in front of Beans.

No matter how competent and meritorious a leader is.

The reality of having to teach that the end of someone who abandoned respect is this lonely and isolated was not pleasant.

“…I’m going back.”

Perhaps she couldn’t bear to look at me any longer?

Soon, Beans turned her back and prepared to leave the infirmary.

“Going back? Didn’t we agree that you’d stay here until your body recovers?”

“I’ll take care of my body myself. I don’t want to be indebted to you any further.”

The sharpness felt in her eyes as she looked back at me.

Even though the color had faded, hostility towards me was clearly felt.

Yet her hanging hands were trembling violently… Yes, even if she understands with her head, it must be hard to accept with her heart.

After all, he was still a father she respected, and no matter how much of a trash he was, he must have shown love at least to his own child.

“…Would you wait a moment?”

And I, unfortunately, am just a teacher.

No matter how serious her condition is, if she wishes to leave when she’s able to move, I have no choice but to let her go, if only to respect her wishes.

If staying close becomes more of a poison, all the more reason to do so.

“It’s a headache medicine. Take one whenever your head hurts.”

But still, as a teacher.

Thinking that at least showing kindness to alleviate pain would be okay, I handed her a bottle, and Beans, who had been staring blankly at it, reluctantly reached out her hand.

“And…”

I took the opportunity to quietly overlap both my hands over Beans’ hand holding the medicine bottle.

Gathering light in that hand.

“Come anytime if you’re having a hard time. The infirmary door will always be open.”

Whispering, hoping that my feelings would be conveyed through the warmth felt from it, Beans, who had shrunk back, carefully pulled out her hand holding the medicine bottle.

Tap tap tap.

The moment the sound of her running away roughly, in contrast to before, echoed through the corridor.

As I returned to the infirmary after leaving the pantry behind that noise, I saw someone standing in the middle of the infirmary.

Dale Enberton. The boy I had come to protect in the infirmary even before Beans.

“Teacher, did Beans go back?”

It seems he woke up because of the commotion earlier.

I answered Dale reluctantly with a bitter smile.

“Are you worried about Beans?”

“Yes, because she was severely injured.”

Dale lowered his head with a gloomy face.

Even though this child must have heard rumors about her while going around the academy, I felt somewhat proud of his pure concern.

“Don’t worry. The infirmary door is open for children like you who have nowhere else to go.”

I stroked the child’s head and looked back at the infirmary exit.

Hoping that the child who ran out of here wouldn’t completely kick away the opportunity I had given.

---

-Thud!

How long had it been since she ran out of the infirmary?

Her body collided with something while running mindlessly through the corridor.

But due to the headache, she couldn’t even manage to keep her balance.

As Beans, who had collapsed with a thud, clutched her bandaged back of the head, the person she had bumped into began to approach her.

“Are you alright?”

An impression of elegant black hair and black eyes…

But that’s as far as she checked. After all, this person would be the same as others.

“A bandage on your head… Are you injured?”

Even if they pretend to be worried, it’s just because they haven’t recognized who she is yet.

If they recognize her, they’ll surely curse her like everyone else she’s met so far.

“The infirmary isn’t far, I’ll take you right there…”

“I’m fine!!”

She swatted away the hand and ran past, dashing down the corridor.

There were some students she met along the way, but she didn’t pay attention, or rather, she deliberately ignored them.

After all, they wouldn’t be any different. If she had made eye contact, they would have acted just like everyone else so far.

‘They’re all the same, everyone’s the same…!’

Everyone will surely curse and mock her.

They will surely disrespect and ridicule her father who gave her his blood.

Just like that woman she had just faced…

‘Your father is not someone who would betray the Empire.’

“Stop with the insincere words!! You find me disgusting too!!”

A scream burst out from her half-lost sanity, but still, no one turned to look.

No one was there to catch her body.

It was natural. Her small body, which had unconsciously avoided people’s eyes, was now heading towards the underground where no one’s eyes could reach.

Seeking a place even darker and damper…

“Ugh…!”

Beans collapsed only after entering the underground storage room she had finally reached.

As she was overwhelmed by the headache, her vision blurred with a ringing sound.

As her vision became tinted as if a rainbow was tangling, nausea surged up as if her stomach was being pulled by blood rising in reverse.

“Uwehh!”

Vomit burst out of her mouth.

Even that was mostly just sour gastric juice as she hadn’t eaten much, but even after throwing up everything she could, her body kept repeating the convulsions.

Thud, thud. Her head hitting the ground.

Blood flowed from her torn forehead skin, but the stifling feeling wouldn’t go away.

Thinking it might get better if her breath stopped, she grabbed her own neck with her hands, but the more she did so, the more blood rushed to her head, making the pain clearer, and as strength left her hands, only the suffering prolonged.

-Clatter.

In the midst of this struggle, something that had fallen out of her pocket rolled in front of her and stopped after hitting the wall.

The medicine bottle.

The object given by the teacher she had met earlier.

‘Come anytime if you’re having a hard time.’

-Gulp.

When she came to her senses, she was already preparing to put that medicine in her mouth.

Not just one, but two, four…

As many as she could fit.

“Cough!!”

In the end, she couldn’t even swallow them and spat them out with a cough.

Is it because she felt reluctant to put the medicine given by that woman in her mouth? Or is her physical condition so bad that even accepting the medicine is too much?

No, she doesn’t know.

Even if she tries to think, nothing comes to mind.

What’s right and what’s wrong, what she should do.

Before that, why is she even alive.

“Aah…”

Nothing.

Because no answer comes back no matter what she asks herself.

The girl finally let go of her reason and decided to be faithful only to her emotions.

“Aaaahh…!!”

At least in this place where no one can see.

Taking comfort only in the fact that it’s okay to look as ugly as possible here.

---

Well, no matter how talented and mature, she’s only 14 years old after all.

It would be cruel for that child, who doesn’t even have good relationships with peers, to endure the hatred of tens of thousands of people in the school for a crime she didn’t even commit.

“Ah, Teacher Seine. It’s been a while. Are you here to see the department head?”

Yes, that’s why I came to the student guidance office after school.

As I too had gone through a not-so-good childhood, I felt particularly empathetic to that child’s situation.