Confession, And (2)

Bang—!

Bang—!

The sound of fireworks bursting brilliantly gradually faded and finally stopped.

In reality, fireworks were still bursting outside the window, and the Orencia flower garden was embroidering beyond the garden into flowerbeds, but now this inn room was enveloped in thick silence, and the surroundings seemed static and quiet.

Alec was staring blankly at Yona.

Her expression was blank,

then sad,

then she bit her lip,

then forced a smile.

There was not a hint of joy on Yona’s face as she made various expressions.

From that alone, Alec could already guess Yona’s answer.

“So. Right now… I can’t accept your feelings. I’m sorry, Alec.”

A clear rejection, albeit expressed euphemistically.

Seeing Yona’s expression as she said those words, Alec couldn’t say anything.

Yes, it would be like that.

From Yona’s perspective, it would be like that.

It couldn’t be otherwise.

Her only ally.

Alec’s confession, which she thought would believe her no matter what.

Alec’s confession, who had treated Yona as a man, even if not always, must have brought great frustration and disappointment to Yona.

Alec had anticipated even that much.

Therefore, he didn’t think this confession would be accepted by Yona.

“I see.”

Alec smiled bitterly.

Although he thought it wouldn’t be accepted, nevertheless, being rejected like this still hurt and stung his heart.

“Were you very surprised? I’m sorry, Yona.”

Alec said while patting Yona’s shoulder.

Noticing Yona’s body flinching slightly each time he did so, Alec let out a very small sigh of relief.

He thought she would be cold.

He thought he would be rejected.

He didn’t think for a moment that it would be accepted right away.

Alec had meticulously planned to paint over Yona’s heart with himself.

Although they say nothing goes exactly according to plan, plans are still necessary.

This confession was the first step of that.

Even though it was a confession, it couldn’t be a half-hearted one.

It had to be enough to cause ripples in Yona’s heart, to appear not too excessive in Alec’s sincerity, but also not to seem too light.

It had to be that level of confession.

Destroy Yona’s world.

That is the first part of Alec’s plan.

Yona’s world—

That world surrounded by walls built with self-awareness as a man.

He had to break down the walls of that world and make Yona realize for herself that she is a woman.

It starts from there.

Break down those walls like that, and imprint Alec’s existence even more strongly on Yona.

If she becomes aware that she is a woman, then she will have an even stronger impression of Alec as a man.

This confession has caused cracks in that wall, so the first step can be considered successful.

The pain Yona will experience in that process, Alec will heal it.

Just like he has until now.

Although it was a plan he thought of and established himself, Alec shuddered at how he could become so insidious.

But it couldn’t be helped.

For Alec, Yona was worth that much.

Alec was determined to obtain Yona even if he had to do it that way.

*

The next day.

Yona looked exhausted with dark circles under her eyes, as if she hadn’t slept at all.

Not only were her eyes sunken, but her face was also pale, showing clear signs of fatigue.

Alec knew well why she couldn’t sleep, but the inn people wouldn’t.

In fact, when people saw her coming down from the inn room, they each whistled and threw out a few mischievous jokes, but Yona didn’t particularly respond to them.

She just silently walked down the stairs with her head hanging low.

Wasn’t she the lively and talkative Yona until just yesterday?

Although they didn’t know what had suddenly happened, people seemed puzzled to see that liveliness so deflated.

But Yona didn’t answer any of people’s questions, only occasionally saying it was nothing.

“Come on, let’s go.”

Alec took Yona’s hand and led her.

“Eh?! Oh, um… okay.”

Yona, who was startled and tried to pull her hand away as soon as Alec grabbed it, saw Alec’s smiling face not letting go of her hand and once again became deflated as she was led out of the inn by his hand.

Apology, embarrassment, and several indescribable emotions.

【See? No one sees you as a man. Don’t you think all those fellows’ talk is about how you’re exhausted from moaning under a man last night? Who would see you as a man? You are a woman. How about accepting it?】

‘Shut up. Be quiet.’

Yona was troubled.

Although Alec had already anticipated it, his plan was having quite a significant effect.

Yona was now thinking that perhaps no one in the world thought of her as a man anymore.

Maybe I’m really mentally ill.

Maybe I was really born and raised in this world, lost my parents in some incident, and due to that shock, I started thinking of myself as a man.

But the memories of the previous world are so vivid, and the years lived as a man are so clearly remembered.

—Maybe even these are all memories I’ve made up.

Wouldn’t it all be solved if I just believed that?

Wouldn’t it be solved if I just believed that I, who was originally a woman, became like this due to mental illness?

If I believed that all the memories were created by myself, and all the memories of living as a man were lies.

If I accepted Alec like that.

Could I become, comfortable?

【You are a woman with an extremely stubborn attitude. What charm is there in a woman’s attitude being like that? With beauty capable of bringing down a country, and understanding human speech like a flower, what use is it if such a woman has a mental illness? Would you have done this even if there was no way for you to return to being a man?】

Berbaria kept whispering in her ear.

It would have been better if it was like that.

It would have been better if there was absolutely no way to return to being a man.

It would have been better to just believe that.

If that were the case, if that were the case.

【Give up. Is there a need to suffer this pain willingly? It would be better to give up. Wouldn’t everyone be happy – you, that man, everyone?】

Yona wanted to cover her ears and scream at such constant whispering.

Despite that, she couldn’t do so because of Alec’s hand holding hers.

It was because of the warm temperature transmitted from that hand.

“We’re going straight to that sacred place now, right?”

“Yeah. That’s the plan.”

Yona tried hard to smile.

No matter what, isn’t it strange for a person to change like this just because of one confession?

It would be right to act as normally as possible, as if there was no problem at all.

“Tell me if you get hungry or your legs hurt.”

“Okay.”

Yona just answered like that and closed her mouth.

She adjusted the backpack on her back and once again felt the weight of the wooden box inside, asserting its presence with a rattle.

The wooden box containing all the skirt, shirt, vest, and shoes she had received from Alec.

She couldn’t throw them away since they were bought at a high price, and in fact, she wouldn’t have thrown them away even if they were cheap.

Because Alec bought them for her.

Things that precious.

The two left the city through the north gate.

Although the festival was in full swing and it was now the second day, the self-defense force members looked at the two leaving the city with curious eyes, but didn’t particularly question them as they continued walking.

“It would be nice if we could meet Kaiyak there too.”

It was a comment Yona made unconsciously after walking for a long time.

Kaiyak.

A silver-ranked Lizardman warrior.

An extremely violent, raging battle style that had often put Yona in his debt, but he was also a warrior who performed just as much.

Kaiyak had gone back to his hometown now, but since Alec and Yona were also heading towards Lizard Den, there might be a possibility of meeting him.

“Why Kaiyak all of a sudden?”

“Well, if the water in a perfectly fine pond has turned black, something must have gone wrong, right?”

Yona spoke in a calm tone.

In her thinking, if such an incident had occurred, there must surely be a reason, and if that sacred place is as important as the adventurers say, that reason must also be not ordinary.

“Hmm.”

Alec, who had been walking in step with Yona, stopped in his tracks.

Because of that, Yona also stopped.

“Maybe we should have gathered more information before coming?”

Alec said to Yona, but Yona shook her head.

The festival was in full swing anyway, so the adventurers’ guild would probably be closed for business, and seeing how it was dismissed as a joke among adventurers, it didn’t seem like there would be any other information.

It was also unrealistic to try to get information as it didn’t seem like the adventurers would know much even if asked.

“No. Let’s just observe without intervening and pass by. If there’s been such a commotion at the Lizardmen’s sacred place, the Lizardmen might already be responding to it.”

That was actually a more rational judgment.

Because it’s a sacred place, if something had happened there, the Lizardmen would have known faster.

By now, they might be responding, or maybe even finished responding.

“Really? Then let’s just go.”

Alec smiled brightly.

Yona also smiled awkwardly, as if responding to that smile.

The two started walking again.

The road to Lizard Den wasn’t exactly close, and the path to the sacred place in between was a distance that would take a full day to walk, so they had to hurry.