Chapter 100: What I Can Do (1)

When I turned the ice-cold doorknob, the chilly night air greeted me.

I pulled my coat collar tighter against the skin-cutting cold.

As I stepped outside the dormitory, the barely accumulated snow crunched underfoot.

Wheeee, the fierce winter wind created an oddly unpleasant sound.

Earlier today, we’d giggled about how warm the weather was and how it had even snowed. It seemed the first snow was indeed winter’s starting signal.

The air and wind were all filled with winter’s essence. The sky was cloudy, showing neither stars nor moon.

If I’d known it would be like this, I would have worn more layers. With this small regret, I headed toward my destination. It was a path I’d walked dozens of times easily.

And at my destination… the path bench:

“…Hi, boyfriend.”

As always, my girlfriend was sitting there.

So-yul greeted me with a slight smile. She seemed so happy to see me that she even waved her hand. Her oversized sweater covered about half of her hand.

I approached and asked:

“Um… aren’t you cold with just a sweater? I’m cold even with my coat on, though it’s thin.”

“No. It’s cozy enough. Want to try it on? I’ll take it off for you.”

“Don’t be silly.”

I sat down next to So-yul with a smile at her obvious joke. So-yul buried her face in her sweater and chuckled. She was still my playful girlfriend.

Perhaps this too… was So-yul’s way of hiding her pain.

After the performance, I’d heard So-yul went to a dinner with the orchestra club members.

That was probably why So-yul’s furious mother had talked with me. She must have wanted to immediately drag So-yul away and scold her, but had to maintain at least a minimum level of decorum as a parent.

Then, as soon as they returned to school, So-yul had apparently been called by her mother.

She hadn’t told me anything about what was said or what conclusion they’d reached.

But one thing was certain: it wouldn’t be much different from what I’d heard.

A heavy silence fell. Coupled with the cold air, the atmosphere sank even further. Eventually, unable to endure it any longer, I spoke first.

“You did great with today’s performance.”

“Mmm. Thanks.”

So-yul nodded slightly.

With a faint smile, she continued:

“It’s hard to express properly, but anyway, you were amazing. I couldn’t even blink while watching you.”

“Really?”

“Yes. Everyone couldn’t take their eyes off you. From kids to elderly people, all looking only at you without any distractions. That’s how captivating your performance was.”

“Ahaha, I see… During the performance, I can’t see the audience’s reactions. I’m happy my boyfriend can tell me like this.”

With these endearing words, So-yul let out a mischievous “hehe” laugh.

That laugh seemed to contain various emotions—joy, shyness, and pride.

Looking at just the performance itself, it was truly a huge success. A perfect stage without a single mistake. Among the hundreds of people, there wasn’t a single dissatisfied audience member. It was something to be proud of.

“Come to think of it, didn’t you say there would be a TV interview after the performance? Is it already over?”

“Ah, yes. The interview?”

At my sudden question, So-yul gently nodded, then:

“I heard they’ll come separately in a few days to film it. Since the event concluded successfully, they want to interview a representative student who participated, something like that.”

“Oh… being called a student representative sounds pretty impressive.”

“What’s so impressive about it? They probably asked me because I’ve done several interviews before.”

So-yul said with a light “huhu” laugh.

Of course, that couldn’t be the reason she was entrusted with the interview.

Whether considering name recognition, audience response, or even skill—So-yul was clearly the star of this performance.

So-yul must know this too. Her denial was probably due to her innate modesty. Or perhaps she felt sorry for taking the protagonist role instead of the orchestra club.

Either way, she had such a beautiful heart.

I reached out to gently stroke So-yul’s hair:

“Really, you’re an unbelievably kind girlfriend.”

“…Being kind is natural for me, but why bring that up so suddenly?”

So-yul asked, tilting her head in confusion.

I had just been praising her for being modest and all, but this was troublesome.

“Anyway.”

So-yul began briefly, leaning her head toward me to make it easier to stroke:

“Since I’ll be on TV for once, I want to look pretty. Should I get a pass to go out and visit a salon? Or maybe buy and wear new clothes?”

“I told you last time. Don’t bother dressing up. If you get popular from being on TV, I don’t think I could protect you.”

“And I answered you then too. Don’t worry about unnecessary things. There’s no man in this world more handsome than you.”

“…”

Well, I suppose that was the response I’d received before.

“Still, as your boyfriend, I can’t help but worry. During today’s performance, a kid sitting in the front row said, ‘I want to marry that big sister.'”

“M-marry?”

As So-yul asked in surprise, I burst into laughter:

“Yes. Obviously he said it without knowing what it means, but… even kids that young are captivated by you…”

So it was considerably concerning.

The boy looked maybe around first or second grade in elementary school, yet he was already talking about marriage. Actually, our school was already overflowing with people who liked So-yul.

What if she appeared on a public broadcast? I might stay up all night, afraid some tanned blond guy would steal her away. I might even grab her hand without thinking if a man approached her.

This is tough—having a girlfriend who’s too pretty is hard work.

I pressed So-yul’s soft cheek gently:

“What should I do? It’s tough dating such a cute and pretty girlfriend.”

“…Hmm. I’m glad you at least recognize I’m cute and pretty.”

With a response showing no hint of modesty, So-yul puffed her cheeks sulkily.

Seeing a hint of redness on them, it seemed she’d become shy from the unexpected compliment.

If she’s embarrassed, she should just say so instead of pretending to be calm. She really was a girlfriend who couldn’t be honest.

I slowly and gently stroked her back.

So-yul’s back felt infinitely fragile, just as always. Today it even seemed particularly drained of strength. It looked slightly slumped, if only a little.

That would be natural, of course.

“Why does your mother treat such a kind, cute, and pretty girlfriend… so harshly?”

The moment I spoke these words, So-yul’s shoulders jerked.

Then she began looking up at me with large, round eyes.

Had she not expected the topic to change at this timing? Her wavering eyes revealed her bewildered heart.

Her lips, which had been opening and closing in surprise, finally managed to speak after a long pause.

“…W-why so suddenly?”

“It’s not sudden. I came out today to talk about this.”

When I cut her off firmly, So-yul flinched again.

Her beautiful honey-brown hair shook delicately.

Normally, I would have apologized for bringing up something strange so suddenly. But today, I simply couldn’t. No matter how sad or painful, we had to address this issue.

As I continuously stroked So-yul’s fragile back through her sweater:

“I talked with your mother after the charity concert. I wondered if her thoughts might have changed after seeing your performance. Hoping she might stop interfering with you and accept you as you are.”

“…Yes.”

So-yul clutched the hem of her sweater tightly and lowered her head.

Suppressing my painful feelings, I continued:

“So the conclusion is something you already know, but I wanted to hear your feelings directly.”

“…My feelings?”

“Yes. Whether you think you shouldn’t have done this, or what you want to do from now on, whatever it might be.”

At my words, So-yul bit her lip slightly.

She must have heard all sorts of things from her mother. It might be painful just to recall. Perhaps she wanted to forget it all completely while with me.

But this time, I really needed to ask. Because I had to hear what So-yul truly wanted. That’s where I could find what I could do for her.

Finally, So-yul whispered as if she had made up her mind:

“…Alright.”

Then, as if whispering in my ear, she slowly began her story in a tiny voice.

Unable to look at me directly, she cast her gaze randomly on the ground.

“After parting with the club members, my mom called and told me to come to the piano room. …Actually, I kind of guessed what was coming then. Her tone and atmosphere didn’t seem normal.”

I silently nodded.

Sensing my reaction, So-yul continued:

“So I went straight there, and mom was sitting in a chair, glaring at me. Then she told me to stand in front of her and started asking all sorts of questions.”

“What kind of questions?”

“Just, why didn’t I listen to her. Was someone else telling me what to do. Then asking if the food went down well. If I was planning to keep rebelling…”

So-yul suddenly held her breath and trailed off.

To me, it looked as if she was swallowing a cry that was about to burst out.

My fist clenched involuntarily on my knee.

Did it feel good to talk to her daughter in such a sarcastic way? Did she feel no shame in being the only one to deny her daughter when everyone else was giving her a thumbs up? How could a person be so thick-skinned?

After a moment, So-yul seemed to have barely composed herself:

“At that point, I understood. From now on, she would treat me much more harshly. I needed to brace myself. …And for that, I needed to lean on my boyfriend a lot.”

So-yul showed a faint smile while mixing in playful words.

To me, even that looked all the more heartbreaking.

Despite our counterattack where we’d risked everything, So-yul’s mother hadn’t changed.

No, she had even resolved to threaten and intimidate So-yul more than before.

So-yul spoke lightly about bracing herself, but thinking about what hardships she would endure from tomorrow on, my heart just ached.

So-yul suddenly lifted her head.

I thought I glimpsed a hint of moisture at the corners of her eyes.

“It’s okay. I don’t regret it. I said it earlier today too. That I always did my best. That I couldn’t have done any better than this. That I didn’t mind even if I failed.”

“…Han So-yul.”

“I didn’t want to just follow what my mom told me to do. That would have been like giving up myself. Yes, so…”

So-yul repeated such words over and over.

As if calming her own heart. As if she absolutely had to.

But it didn’t seem to help much.

Soon, So-yul’s voice became wet with emotion.

“Why…”

This was the last of So-yul’s story.

What followed wasn’t words, but the sound of her finally releasing the sobs she had been holding back.

The weak side she never wanted to show me. The appearance of pouring out the sorrow she had been suppressing.

The person I loved was crying miserably. And even during this, I couldn’t do anything to help.

No, I was the one who had encouraged So-yul to defy her mother in the first place. I didn’t even have the right to comfort her.

The area around my chest began to sting painfully. A suffocating pain filled me.

My eyes gradually reddened, and something hot welled up in my throat.

I almost wanted to hug So-yul and cry together with her.

If doing so would improve the situation, I could cry as much as needed.

I was ready to throw away my future, my pride, everything—if it would make my girlfriend happy.

Had I, as her boyfriend, done something unnecessary?

Had I pushed for something pointless and made So-yul suffer?

How much difficult time would So-yul have to endure from now on?

I had neither enough money, proper parents, knowledge about piano, nor the eloquence to persuade So-yul’s mother.

Was there really no way for me to pull my beloved girlfriend out of this pain?

And finally, I reached the question I had pondered over and over:

What could I possibly do for So-yul?

I had known the answer all along.

“Han So-yul.”

The moment I called her name, So-yul’s shoulders jerked. It was quite different from when they shook with sobs.

Perhaps she had already guessed what words would follow.

“…Yes?”

So-yul’s responding voice was trembling endlessly.

Her lips quivered, as if afraid of hearing something she didn’t want to hear. Yet at the same time, her expression seemed composed, as if she had steeled herself inwardly.

Was she afraid I might say something like “let’s break up”?

If so, she was severely underestimating her boyfriend.

I stood up from the bench. Then I moved to face So-yul. The traces of tears were clearly visible at the corners of her eyes. Unable to hide this, So-yul looked straight at me.

Looking at her, I bit my lip tightly.

I extended one hand toward the sobbing So-yul:

“…Let’s run away together.”