Chapter 1: I saved my brothers.

–Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock.

The sound of the clock echoed in my empty room.

A pungent smell stung my nose.

What was I doing, I couldn’t quite remember.

–Drip, drip.

I heard the sound of water.

Water dripped, creating small ripples in the bathtub where I sat.

‘Ah…right, I have to die.’

And the small ripples made by the water droplets brought back a bit of my memory.

Thirty years old, male, fired from the company I’d staked everything on a few years ago.

What I had done to get into that company.

What I had done to become a full-time employee while living as an intern.

For some reason, I couldn’t become a full-time employee.

I lived like a wreck.

I had staked everything, even squandering all my savings on gambling.

I’m a good-for-nothing human.

I’m a useless human.

Finally, yesterday, I received notice of disownment from my parents.

‘…….’

I hate it.

I just hate the world.

I just endlessly hated the world that had made me this way.

“…What did you ever do for me in the first place?”

There was nothing, was there?

When I was young, I grew up amidst indifference.

Eating instant noodles every day was a routine.

I had never even felt warmth.

I just lived such a life.

A life where I received no affection.

‘Damn it…….’

The next life.

If such a thing existed, I hoped I would be reborn as a beautiful girl loved by countless people.

I simply had that vague thought.

“Kkeuheup…!!”

My breath hitched.

My vision was filled with hazy smoke.

The briquette that had been burning since earlier came into view.

“Kkeok…!”

I thrashed my feet, causing the water in the bathtub to create massive ripples.

Waves so enormous they were on a different level from the tiny ripples made by water droplets.

And so, I breathed my last.

“…!!”

I opened my eyes again.

****

“Un-nie…!! Unnie…!!”

“Nuna…don’t die…!!”

Loud crying sounds reached my ears.

The smell of blood and strong alcohol stung my nose.

‘…Why is it so noisy?’

But that was none of my business.

I was sleepy, I just wanted to sleep.

“Wake up…!!”

“Nuna…Nuna…!!”

Someone had been crying loudly beside me for a while now.

Just as I was about to sleep, they shook my body as if telling me not to sleep.

‘Ah, damn it…….’

Not knowing which brat it was, but thinking I needed to fix their attitude, I sprang up.

“Unnie…?”

“…Nuna…!!”

My eyes fell on the two little kids calling me “Unnie” and “Nuna.”

No, they clearly looked young, but why was there little difference in height between them and me?

As if I had become younger.

Saying that, I lowered my head and looked at my body.

“…It’s fair?”

It was fair.

Although there were a few bruises, that was how it was.

Looking in the mirror, there was a pretty girl staring back.

A slightly unusual hair color.

Black eyes and a pretty face.

As soon as I saw that face, memories began flooding into my mind like crazy.

“…Kkeuheup…!!”

“Unnie?!”

“Nuna?!”

I squeezed my eyes shut and clutched my head from the intense pain flooding in.

Then, my siblings looked at me, asking if I was okay in trembling voices.

“I’m, o-okay…kkeuheup…!!”

“Unnie…!! Snap out of it…!!”

“S-Sis, be quiet…Dad’s sleeping…!”

I had to stay hunched over, clutching my head, for a long time.

After all, twelve long years of memories had flooded into my mind.

****

Time passed, and it was 11 PM.

I lay between my siblings, staring blankly at the ceiling, which felt both familiar and strange.

‘…….’

All my memories had returned.

Today at 1 PM.

My trash-like father, who had come home completely drunk, began threatening my siblings.

Unable to just watch, I took a soju bottle to the head instead of my siblings.

Since it was the first time I’d been hit on the head, though not elsewhere, I immediately collapsed and fainted on the spot.

“…Did I regain my past life’s memories just like that?”

I muttered, extending a fair hand into the air.

Just in case, I tried to recall all the information related to myself.

“…Past life: Kim Su-ho, 30, unemployed, single, suicide. Current life: Yu Su-hyeon, 12, child abuse victim, with two younger siblings.”

My memories from both my past and current lives returned with overwhelming clarity and detail.

The sequence was also perfectly correct.

I also realized that I had remembered my past life until I was about two years old.

“Ugh…what a fate.”

I buried my face in the pillow, lamenting my lot.

To regain my past life’s memories after being beaten by Dad.

My life was still like this even after reincarnation.

Honestly, while feeling a bit wronged, I also felt incredibly sorry for the siblings on either side of me.

“…What sin could you two have committed?”

Just born into a family like this.

How must these children feel, having to grow up in such an environment?

“Unnie…I’m sorry…for not being able to take the blows for you, for always letting only you get hit, I’m sorry.”

Yu Ji-woo, the second child of this family and my younger sister, mumbled in her sleep and hugged me.

Not to be outdone, Yu Min-woo, the third child and my younger brother, also hugged me.

Min-woo just kept saying “Nuna, Nuna.”

My poor, cute siblings.

“…….”

The reality of having to live with an alcoholic father after Mom ran away was hateful.

At the same time, I looked at my siblings’ bodies, which had no injuries at all.

“…So I really took all the blows until now.”

Memories of always stepping forward to take the blows instead of my siblings resurfaced.

‘Dad…!! Hit me, not Min-woo…!! Kkeuheup…!!’

‘Ji-woo!! Ji-woo…! Leave it to Unnie! Kkeok!! And run away…!!’

Memories of desperately resisting Dad came back.

As tears welled up, I pulled my siblings closer to my own body, which was full of wounds.

And I vowed once again.

To become these children’s only parent, in commemoration of regaining my past life’s memories.

“…I’ll protect you.”

Nothing has changed.

Whether I regained my memories or not, I would protect my siblings.

Somehow, somehow, I would make sure these children weren’t hit even once.

‘My life has been revived anyway.’

What would change if I died here?

Ruining one life is hard, but ruining a second isn’t.

I had long since abandoned any lingering attachment to life.

But my two siblings.

“…You two can still shine.”

They could still shine.

I decided to bet on that.

This time, I would walk a righteous path.

I vowed never to let my siblings get hurt.

“…This Unnie/Nuna will take all the pain, so you two just live.”

I would send them to school normally.

I hoped they would enjoy life normally.

I might become a wreck, but that was okay.

From the day I regained my past life’s memories, I began to draw all of my father’s attention.

“Aargh…!!”

“You crazy b*tch!! You, you dare not recognize your heaven-like father!!”

“S-sorry…eok…! I’m sorry.”

It was not easy.

It hurt, and my skin split open.

In the midst of it all, I respected my father for never hitting my face, saying it would be useless later if it got damaged.

‘…It’s fine, this is how it should be.’

The more scars appeared on my body, the more I thought that.

I was simply happy that my siblings weren’t getting hit.

At some point, I became my father’s punching bag for his anger.

Four years, five years.

I was consistently, truly consistently, beaten.

No matter how much I resolved, it’s natural for a person with past life memories to become strange.

Before I knew it, I started going to my father to be beaten as if it were natural.

“Su-hyeon, where’s that damn b*tch?”

“…I’m here, Dad.”

“Money!! Didn’t you bring it…?!”

Saying that, he slapped my cheek, so I brought the money.

“Hey, you said you’d take all the hits, even your siblings’ share.”

“…Unnie…!! No! I’ll take it!! No! Don’t get hit!”

“…It’s, okay, Ji-woo.”

“Get up, roll up your calves.”

Even when my legs trembled from the beating, I had become a body that would stand up if Dad told me to.

I was scared of my father’s physical abuse.

It had been ingrained.

And so, I was beaten throughout my high school years.

I didn’t show it to anyone around me.

‘…To raise my siblings without Dad was…’

Since Dad went out for manual labor and earned money, I couldn’t just kick him out.

And so, I was beaten constantly.

The year I became a third-year high school student.

After my homeroom teacher saw my excessive bruises.

They immediately reported him as soon as they smelled alcohol on my father.

Surprisingly, when my father was taken away, I felt nothing.

Or rather, more accurately.

‘…How do I protect my siblings now?’

It felt hopeless.

At the thought of having to live without an adult.

And I became a wreck like that.

After graduating high school and sending my siblings, who were one year apart, to college.

I holed myself up in my room.

I was trapped in a small studio apartment.

I was afraid to go out and didn’t want to.

****

–Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock.

The sound of the clock echoed in the dark room.

A dark room filled with foul odors and trash.

Inside that room, I laughed and spoke in a weak voice.

“…S-so, where should I cut next…?”

Then, people went into a frenzy.

I tilted my head, looking at such people.

[Kyaaaaaaaak!]

[Please…please stop it…….]

[Just play the game, just play the game, just play the game]

[Ah…please…….]

[ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ]

[Put away the utility knife, put away the utility knife, put away the utility knife]

[The RP is really intense these days for real;;]

[That bandage on your hand is just wrapped, right? Right?]

[…Thank goodness they’re not showing the cutting on stream]

[ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ]

I really didn’t understand why everyone called me depraved.

I was just a cool Unnie and Nuna who saved her siblings.