Chapter 1 – Floor 1. I’m Completely Fucked!

“Stop dawdling and get in quickly! You trash!”

WHACK!

“KYEEEEEK!!!”

From behind, without warning, came a sharp shout followed by a heavy impact that felt like it would snap my waist in two.

Setting aside the bone-crushing pain, I began to involuntarily tumble down the staircase that had suddenly appeared before me.

THUD-BANG-CRASH!

The staircase was incredibly long, and I rolled down for quite some time with a tremendous racket.

SPLASH.

“Nngh… f-fuck! That bastard definitely kicked me with military boots…”

After rolling down stone stairs with my bare body, there wasn’t a spot that didn’t hurt. I probably broke several bones.

But considering how far I had fallen, I should be grateful to be alive at all.

Finally coming to my senses, I pressed against the cold stone floor to stand up and looked around. Before me stretched a dimly lit cavern made of brick walls, littered with people wearing tattered clothes like mine and weapons with missing teeth.

Seven corridors leading to unknown destinations, an impossibly high staircase that would make anyone sigh at the thought of climbing back up, and the faint sound of water.

“The Count, in his mercy, has decided not to take your lives for your unforgivable crimes, but instead to grant you amnesty through exile!”

A booming voice echoed from the top of the stairs.

And the words it spoke were familiar to me.

Dive Dungeon.

This was the introduction to a roguelike game commonly known among gamers as D.D. It was the starting text that the protagonist, a criminal, always heard from a soldier after being shoved into the dungeon.

CREEEEAK—THUD.

The entrance that had been casting warm light into this cold, damp cavern closed with a squeaky sound from unoiled hinges.

The subsequent clicking sounds suggested it was being locked from the outside.

‘…Fuck. What the hell is happening.’

Just moments ago, I had been sitting comfortably in my room, scratching my belly while intently reading trending posts on an online forum…

Cold sweat poured down my spine like a waterfall.

D.D. was a brand-new game released in the 2020s that, despite its freshness, employed anachronistic low-resolution pixel graphics as if advocating for a return to the past.

Yet it had a properly hardcore difficulty level and was filled with experimental content that made it quite unconventional for a roguelike. While it remained somewhat obscure, it enjoyed a cult following among enthusiasts.

I was one of those enthusiasts who had thrown 3,000 hours of my life into D.D.

I had unlocked all characters and items, completed all challenges, and was even writing tutorials for newcomers—that’s how deeply I was into it.

And what I had been doing just before…

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[INFO] Download the D.D. DunGal Pack

ㅇㅇ(112.311) | 2025.07.16 19:10:11 Views 3659 | Likes 76 | Comments 219

-Rebalanced 54 existing skills

-Added 18 new skills

-Added 72 new items

-Fixed appearance of story objects that used to appear randomly

-Can now decorate items in altar areas

A completely refreshed, exciting dungeon awaits the DunGal community who can’t resist their criminal urges

Don’t delay, download now

[[Link]]<-Trust the anonymous poster or trust the moderator

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ㅇㅇ | So exciting lolㅋㅋ About to go out and knock over an old lady’s vegetable stand just to get into the dungeon

┗ ㅇㅇ(223.18) | lol

┗ Squeaker | lol

┗ GrandmaLover | ex

┗ ㅇㅇ | What’s with this guy

After hearing “it’s coming, it’s coming” for so long, the D.D. DunGal Pack mod was finally released, and unable to resist, I trusted a random anonymous poster and clicked the download link.

And when I opened my eyes, what I saw was a staircase like the devil’s throat, with no visible bottom.

Next thing I knew, I was in a near-death state thanks to the “kindness” of the soldier who kicked me from behind, sparing me the need to descend on my own.

‘I think I’m fucked.’

The difficulty of D.D. was absolutely brutal.

Among the achievements was one called “Start Dive,” which you could earn by escaping the first floor—essentially the tutorial—and this achievement had a completion rate of 68%.

Considering some people buy games without ever playing them, the actual clear rate might be a bit higher, but it still meant that over 30% of players couldn’t even complete the tutorial.

Even I, with considerable experience in the roguelike genre, took two solid days to clear the first floor when the game was initially released—it was that much of a disaster.

Like typical roguelike survival elements, there were hunger and thirst meters, and if you didn’t maintain a proper body temperature, you’d receive all sorts of debuffs until your character suddenly died.

Moreover, the monsters’ specs and numbers were so ruthlessly designed that it seemed like they were placed specifically to torment players, and due to the experimental content, sometimes you couldn’t proceed to the next floor without encountering certain random events.

“…”

After combining all this information, my conclusion was:

“I’m completely fucked!”

***

The criminals who had fallen into this hellish place with me each picked up an old weapon from the floor and disappeared in different directions.

I prayed we wouldn’t run into each other and only got up after the last one had completely vanished from sight.

From the first floor, called the tutorial, to the fifth floor where the portal was located—this was the sewer section.

Those criminals were one of the enemies you’d encounter while wandering through the sewer section.

In the game, all sprites looked the same, but in reality, everyone looked different—that was just an observation.

“If you meet them on the first floor, they’re elite-level.”

Compared to the first floor enemies, which had about half the specs of a player, these criminals with almost identical specs to the player were quite formidable opponents.

Of course, with proper equipment, they’d just be tough mobs.

‘I should get moving too… but how do I check my stats?’

In D.D., starting stats are random, so you can choose your preferred weapon type at the beginning.

“Status.”

But I needed to see my stats to choose a suitable weapon, and there was no way a text window would appear before my eyes…

WHOOSH—

===========================================

Name: aaaa

Level: 01

Health: 44/44 ■■■■■■■■■■

Magic: 26/26 ■■■■■■■■■■

Hunger: 80/100 ■■■■■■■■□□

Thirst: 80/100 ■■■■■■■■□□

Temperature: ◀■■■■■□□□□□▷

Strength 10(+0) | Dexterity 11(+0) | Constitution 08(+0)

Mental 08(+0) | Perception 09(+0) | Charm 12(+0)

《Available Magic》

『Onahole Creation』Magic -25

【Transform a target within 1 space into an ‘XXX Onahole’ item】

GOLD: 0

===========================================

With a sound like unrolling a scroll, familiar text appeared before my eyes.

I couldn’t close my mouth at the information displayed on the clearly glowing hologram.

Onahole Creation.

Such a vulgar-sounding skill was prominently fixed in my starting skill window.

“What the fuck! This wasn’t supposed to be an adult game!!”

My head started to throb.

***

After a long while, I finally managed to calm down and considered how to handle this situation.

Despite tumbling so roughly down the stairs, I was fortunate that my health hadn’t decreased and I hadn’t suffered any status effects, but the magic skill『Onahole Creation』was incredibly disturbing.

Naturally, in the original D.D., despite its experimental elements, there was no vulgar, idiotic skill like『Onahole Creation』in a game rated for all ages.

The culprit was clearly the DunGal Pack.

This meant I’d have to navigate through a modified D.D. dungeon with features I didn’t properly understand.

And with my own life at stake!

“Plus it consumes so much MP… What kind of starting magic uses 25 MP?”

Damn anonymous poster. If you’re going to create something, at least make it overpowered.

While offering my highest praise to the anonymous troublemaker, I examined my stats.

High charm and dexterity, average strength and perception, low constitution and mental—too low constitution for melee combat, too low mental for magic use—an ambiguous stat distribution that couldn’t be more confusing.

Moreover, charm, my highest stat, was nearly useless unless for specific builds.

“This stat distribution is truly garbage.”

With this distribution, the safest approach would be to focus on high dexterity, find a strength potion to compensate for my moderate strength, and navigate the early stages.

At least it wasn’t 8/8 in strength and dexterity.

If I had started with mental 12 with this kind of magic, I would have truly lost my mind.

I immediately picked up a dagger that provided an evasion bonus and a club with high base damage for when I couldn’t avoid being caught from behind.

“Onahole Creation… does this work like a transformation potion?”

No matter how stupid it seems, I should use what I can. It’s definitely not because I want to use it.

“…But how many humanoid enemies were there again?”