Chapter 1. Candidate and Candidate (8)

I have my beliefs too.

Beliefs that probably won’t change until the moment I die. And atheism is a very important part of those beliefs.

But, you know, the price of those beliefs doesn’t outweigh the price of another person’s life.

No matter what words I utter, even if I say I affirm God or confess my faith, this thought won’t change. Well, what if it does? Even then, it’s still not more important than the life of someone dying before my eyes.

Even without confessing my faith, I could use power. If you think about it, it’s just that people around me get strange misunderstandings whenever they see me like that.

Perhaps it’s because I don’t have a religion. Maybe it’s because my beliefs aren’t based on something important written in a book like the Bible. Just as there are things in the world that cannot be definitively called truth, I simply consider my beliefs to be among those unclear things.

In a documentary, an atheist held a picket sign that said, ‘My views change based on scientific evidence,’ and my beliefs fall into that category as well. I’m confident for now, but it’s not a fixed answer.

I don’t think my beliefs are the perfect answer, but to ignore the danger of the person in front of me- even to ignore it when I have a way to immediately eliminate that danger- is, by all accounts, the ‘wrong answer.’

If so, I will simply choose to avoid that wrong answer.

“Ah, come on.”

I waved my hand to chase away the light that kept flashing in my face and walked back towards the room.

My legs are a bit weak from running at full speed for the first time in a while. I even broke a sweat in my back in this winter. Should I go wash up and sleep?

The Nun Superior usually excuses me from my duties when something like today happens.

Well, it was Sunday, so the rest of the day’s schedule was quite relaxed.

“Ah.”

As I was walking down the hallway, I spotted a veil lying on the floor. After touching my head, I realized I wasn’t wearing a veil.

Did it fall off when I was running earlier?

I bent down to pick up the veil lying on the floor, and stumbled a little.

Someone was there to catch my arm from the side.

When I turned my head, it was Ria, who had followed me and grabbed my arm just a moment ago.

“…Are you okay?”

“There’s nothing physically wrong with me.”

I’m a bit tired, and a bit dizzy. It seems the light that shone from the back of my head earlier is still affecting me from when I headbanged to shake it off.

The tiredness is also from running with all my might, and well…

Yes, after using that power, I often feel tired. That’s also why the Nun Superior and the priest excuse me from my duties.

Usually, nuns feel drained after using divine power.

Compared to that, my body is actually quite fine.

If it were a power that could seriously endanger my body… well, I would at least think more seriously before using it.

I casually placed the veil I picked up on my head and looked at Ria, and was a little surprised.

Ria, still holding my left arm and looking into my face, had a very serious expression.

“Why? Are you finally going to admit that I’m a great person?”

When I asked teasingly, Ria’s brow furrowed.

As expected, she can’t admit that much, right? The person named ‘Lee Chae-eun’ was portrayed as quite proud in the novel.

“Well, a little?”

But the reply was a little different from what I expected.

“A little?”

I unintentionally repeated the words.

It wasn’t that I reacted to the word ‘a little.’ The reason I repeated it was simply because those were the words I heard, and the reason I was surprised was that Ria agreed that I was a ‘great person.’

Ah, come to think of it, she was a Hero too.

Moreover, her father was quite a devout believer. She also had quite a few connections to the church.

No matter how you look at it, she’s a devout believer, so it’s not strange that her thoughts might have changed a little after seeing the power I displayed.

“……”

At my question, Ria remained silent for a moment longer, then abruptly let go of my left arm and said.

“Uh, yeah. A little. Just a tiny bit.”

Hmph.

I stumbled slightly as the supporting force suddenly disappeared, and I straightened myself with a frown.

“My, how devout you are.”

If she’s going to praise me, she should do it properly.

Even so, the people I helped keep praying only to God and don’t thank me.

Well, strictly speaking, it’s God’s power, not mine, so I guess that’s natural.

I let out a “Hmph” at Ria and turned my head away.

Then, fiddling with the veil and adjusting its shape, I walked back towards the room, my footsteps echoing.

I think I heard laughter from behind me.

Honestly, I don’t like it.

*

I went to sleep right after washing up and woke up in the middle of the night. Since no one woke me up, it seems the Nun Superior or the priest deliberately let me sleep.

I slept so soundly that the tiredness was completely gone-

Grumble.

……I’m hungry.

Since I slept soundly without anything happening in between, I naturally didn’t have dinner.

I scratched my head and got out of bed.

Looking at Ria’s spot, the bed covers were puffed up. Seeing the tip of Ria’s characteristic red hair sticking out, I carefully put on my nun’s habit again.

Wearing the nun’s habit… is actually because there was no other choice. Ria might have her own civilian clothes, but I’ve lived my entire life in the convent, so I had no clothes other than the ones provided by the convent.

Grumble.

Hearing the sound from my stomach, I scratched my head and went out of the room.

The convent isn’t a military facility, so there are no sentries. However, there might be someone on duty for tasks that need to be done in the middle of the night, but that’s not something they ask young nuns like us to do.

The dormitory is completely quiet in the middle of the night.

The bathroom and shower room are attached to each room anyway, and there’s nothing to do within the convent in the middle of the night.

Going out and wandering around in the middle of the night is a violation of the rules, and more importantly, nuns are generally supposed to sleep at a set time and wake up at a set time.

So, sleep time is precious. Usually, people don’t think of wasting that time.

“Good.”

So, this is the perfect time for someone like me who snuck out.

I tiptoed down the hallway. I could see outside the window, but no one would be looking in. I wasn’t wearing a veil on my head, so if the Nun Superior saw me, she might scold me, but fortunately, I didn’t run into anyone on my way to the counseling room.

I checked if any light was leaking from under the door, but there was no such sign.

I carefully opened the door and entered the counseling room.

I rummaged through my pocket and took out a small flashlight I had prepared in advance. It’s a useful item I bought years ago when I went volunteering and have been using it effectively ever since. It’s not too bright, which is perfect for this kind of situation.

I turned on the flashlight and placed it on the table, then filled the coffee pot with water.

Then I opened the door to the storage room attached to the counseling room.

It smelled musty, but it was a place that was consistently cleaned and well-maintained.

In the corner of that small storage room was a large box containing items used only for commemorative ceremonies.

“Found it, found it.”

I opened the box, checked the contents, and muttered like I was singing.

The last person to clean this storage room was me. There were a few small cup noodles inside, which I had bought in advance when I went volunteering.

Actually, there are ramen for duty shifts… but if I ate them, I would be caught eating them secretly.

If I eat them and clean up thoroughly, no one will notice.

Grumble.

I’m hungry, so should I take two and eat them all myself?

I hummed a little, just loud enough not to be heard outside the counseling room, took out two cup noodles, and turned around-

“Eek!?”

I let out a scream that wasn’t quite a scream.

I think I controlled my throat well, considering how startled I was. Fortunately, I didn’t hear anyone running, so no one else noticed.

“Oh.”

But it seems Ria noticed.

“…When were you standing there?”

“Probably since you went into the storage room?”

“……”

Ah, right. It’s natural that the storage room seemed bright.

The flashlight I placed on the table couldn’t possibly illuminate this far inside.

“By the way, is that a midnight snack?”

“……”

Ria asked me with a twinkle in her eye.

The coffee pot made a bubbling sound as it boiled vigorously, then with a click, it turned off at just the right timing.

Even after hearing the sound of the water boiling, I hesitated for a long time before,

“W-would you like to eat together?”

I asked Ria.

“That sounds good.”

Ria smiled brightly and moved aside.

Honestly, I don’t like it.

I grumbled inwardly.