Chap 111-Fool

The moment my question ended, Camilla’s eyes began to waver.

The affectionate gaze from just a moment ago was nowhere to be found, replaced by unconcealable embarrassment and fear.

She jumped up from her chair.

As if fleeing from something.

Without looking back, she stumbled towards the door.

Her retreating figure looked endlessly precarious.

‘…Was I too hasty?’

I bit my lip without realizing it.

I knew her mental state was unstable.

There was no need to rush her so urgently.

So… she knew.

With certainty, a bitter self-reproach washed over me.

“Camilla.”

I called out to her again as she reached for the door.

She didn’t turn around, but stopped with her hand on the doorknob.

“You have to come again tomorrow!”

I deliberately spoke playfully, as if it were nothing, to avoid agitating her.

“If you’re not here, I’ll… starve!”

“Because the food Serena unnie makes is incredibly awful…”

Huh?

Before my joke could even finish, Camilla’s shoulders began to tremble slightly.

And then…

She collapsed to the floor.

“Hng… Hooo…”

The next moment, she burst into tears like a child.

Sorrowful sobs filled the empty solitary cell.

‘What, what is it…?’

Could it be that she was upset because I was being too picky about the food?

Even so, Camilla wouldn’t be that petty…

Sigh.

I sighed.

I didn’t know the reason, but when a woman is crying, comforting her should come first, right?

Even I, who had been a solo since birth, knew that much.

I forced my creaking body to move and approached her.

Then, awkwardly bending down, I embraced her in a clumsy posture.

“……”

Pat, pat.

Thwack-

“……?”

But my clumsy attempt at comfort was neatly rejected.

Camilla pushed me away forcefully and glared at me as if I were ridiculous.

‘Okay, what now?’

What does she want from me?

“Are you… stupid?”

At Camilla’s harsh words, I couldn’t help but start to gauge her mood.

It seemed I had touched a very raw nerve.

If I agitated her any further, I might have to force down the garbage Serena unnie gave me from now on.

For the sake of survival, I kept my mouth shut and carefully waited for her next words.

“Why… to someone like me… why are you being so… nice to me…”

Her voice grew fainter and fainter, eventually breaking into sobs.

The anger from a moment ago had vanished as if it had never been there.

She covered her face again and began to cry like a child, sitting on the floor.

It was a sorrowful cry, as if the guilt, regret, and self-loathing that had been suppressed were exploding all at once.

“……”

Once again, I didn’t know what to do and could only stare at her as she sobbed.

…

“So, you went into the Starlight Library and saw my record?”

At my question, Camilla, her eyes still red-rimmed, sniffled and nodded.

Hmm…

It was a more dangerous situation than I thought.

The Evil God wasn’t trying to eliminate or secure me.

The reason he went to the Starlight Library, even sacrificing Calamity-Class Monsters.

It seemed… as Ha Yeon had said, he intended to obtain the truth about me and spread it to everyone.

If that happened, the faith of malice directed at me would be cut off completely.

The seal would be released, and he would regain his divine power.

The only fortunate thing was that his attempt had been thwarted thanks to Ha Yeon.

Now that I knew his intentions, I had to think of a way to stop him.

And…

I needed to gather the faith of malice even faster.

Before he pulled another stunt.

But still…

‘What should I do with her?’

I glanced at Camilla, who was sniffling beside me, and began to ponder.

“…What. Why are you looking at me like that?”

Sensing my gaze, Camilla snapped at me with swollen eyes.

Her prickly attitude was like a hedgehog raising its quills, trying to hide something she didn’t want to be discovered.

I deliberately tried to meet her eyes.

Camilla immediately avoided my gaze.

This time, I started staring at her with narrowed eyes.

Sensing my gaze, Camilla flinched and turned her head completely away.

The tips of her ears were slightly red.

‘It’s more serious than I thought…’

Perhaps because of guilt, she couldn’t even look me in the eye properly.

Well, anyone else would have been annoyed by her prickly behavior…

But I, who knew her story through the game, could see it.

Her vulnerable inner self hidden behind her barbed words.

“You feel sorry for me, don’t you?”

I asked bluntly.

“Hah, why would I? You’re the one who deceived me…”

Camilla mumbled timidly, avoiding my eyes again.

Then, she started rubbing her eyes as if something had gotten into them.

A faint redness was already spreading at the end of her sleeve.

More fragile than anyone else, but forced to pretend to be stronger than anyone else to survive the bloody competition within her family, a pitiful child.

Having lived like that all her life, she must have even forgotten how to apologize properly…

But it didn’t matter.

She really didn’t need to apologize to me at all.

“Camilla.”

I called her in the softest voice I could muster, trying to reassure her.

“Do you remember… what I said during the midterm exams?”

“What…?”

Her eyes began to waver.

Something seemed to have come to mind.

Tears welled up in her eyes again.

Camilla shook her head violently and said pleadingly.

“No…”

“Don’t…”

“Please… I don’t deserve it.”

I reached out to her and took her trembling wrist.

Then, I carefully rolled up her sleeve.

Over her white wrist, sharp scars were densely intertwined.

As if a blade had passed over it dozens of times, old marks and still-unhealed wounds were mixed together.

‘…So it was like that.’

The day the people working at the mansion died because of me.

I had done the same thing.

Blaming myself, I constantly wounded myself.

But I had a Unique Ability, so it didn’t hurt.

But Camilla…

“…It must have hurt, Camilla.”

At those words, Camilla tried to avoid my eyes again.

I grabbed her chin and forced her to meet my gaze.

“Don’t do this…”

Camilla said, tearfully.

“You’re… you’re in more pain than me. I’m living comfortably outside… but you…”

These weren’t exactly words for Camilla.

They were the words I needed in the past.

I’m a selfish villainess, so.

I’m just telling you as much as I wanted to hear.

I looked her straight in the eye and said.

“…This isn’t your fault.”

…

They tried to use her to expand the family’s power.

They cruelly tortured her to gain leverage over the Bennet family.

Later, they arbitrarily branded her as a traitor.

At first, I couldn’t bear to look Yeon Bennet in the face.

I was too sorry.

But as time passed, that feeling faded, and other thoughts began to grow in my mind.

What if… she hadn’t been there?

What if she hadn’t been able to withstand the torture and confessed everything?

Being locked in a solitary cell and tortured like that…

Wouldn’t that be me?

After having that thought, I was seized by a terrible fear.

I began to suffer from nightmares at night.

Me, being pointed at as a traitor.

Me, locked in a solitary cell like Yeon Bennet, undergoing endless torture.

The moment fear consumed me, I became an infinitely weak and pathetic human being.

Hoping that she would endure the torture even a little longer, I asked Serena to give me time to visit her every day.

I brought her delicious food and tried to be nice to her, even a little.

I was disgusted with myself.

So… at some point, I started hurting myself.

I took a cold dagger and slashed my wrist without hesitation.

I stared blankly as red lines were drawn on my white skin, and blood seeped out.

It was painful, but that pain seemed to alleviate my guilt even a little.

‘I’m suffering like this too.’

‘I’m having such a hard time, so please, just hold on a little longer.’

With such ugly, selfish thoughts.

But.

“Camilla, you have to come again tomorrow!”

The moment I heard her kind words, I couldn’t bear it any longer.

If I truly felt guilty towards her, I should confess everything right now and receive the punishment I deserved.

<Disposition: Weak>

That’s how the System evaluated me.

I hated those two words so much since I was a child that I struggled to escape them in any way I could.

But I was still… as weak as a worm.

As a coward, I didn’t even deserve to be forgiven by her.

So, like an idiot, I couldn’t even say sorry to her and just got angry.

Afraid that that foolish child might forgive someone like me.

But.

What she gave me wasn’t forgiveness, but something far more cruel.

“Do you remember… what I said during the midterm exams?”

The very words that Yeon Bennet had said to me when I was threatening her, screaming at her, thinking she was a traitor.

“…This isn’t your fault.”

Her voice, saying that I had no fault in the first place.

At those kind and cruel words, I opened my Mind’s Eye once again.

There was something I wanted to confirm.

The System window visible beyond the blurry vision.

Yeon Bennet

<Disposition: Pushover>

She was.

Still a pushover.

Unlike a month ago, I could now understand the meaning of that to the bone.