Ch.BONUS(Side Story 1) Eri the Rider (2)

“Previously on our story!!! After getting her driver’s license surprisingly easily at age 20, Eri was feeling extremely overconfident!!”

I jumped straight into summarizing the previous episode, feeling like too much time had passed. Back in the day, it was standard practice for old anime to spend three minutes recapping the previous episode. Add the opening theme, and you could fill a whole five minutes. That’s just how the struggling animation industry rolled.

“What overconfidence are you talking about!! And who are you explaining this to?!!”

Eri protested, trembling as she gripped the steering wheel.

“Well… we’re in a crisis situation right now. You know, life flashing before our eyes and all that.”

That’s how I explained it.

“I’m not dying!!!! Highway!! As long as I stay on the highway forever, I’ll be safe!!”

Eri shouted.

“That’s exactly the problem!!”

She seriously has a highway addiction!!!

“Anyway!! Perhaps intimidated by real-world driving despite her confidence, Eri has fallen under a curse that forces her to only drive on straight roads, abandoning our actual destination!! What will become of Arigiri Shota’s fate?!! The fate of the Earth?!! Stay tuned!!”

After finishing my recap, I looked around.

Honestly… considering my physical capabilities, I could just open the door and roll out to escape. But saving Eri too would be impossible.

There was only one thing I could do in this situation. Somehow switch places with her and drive us home safely. At this rate, we might end up all the way in Kobe. A grand tour of Japan.

“Eri!! Look!! Take that exit to the rest area!! Let’s park at the rest area and then switch drivers. Okay? You’ve done well enough.”

I tried to soothe Eri. Yes, if we could reach the rest area, we’d be safe. It was like a safe room. In our current situation, the rest area was the only sanctuary available. Just thinking about it made the rest area seem incredibly radiant.

It was like… that feeling of relief when you’re playing Biohazard and find a safe room while in critical condition. Just hearing the music would make your eyes close in relief. The comfort of a sanctuary where zombies can’t enter.

“Huh? Huh? A-a curve?!! N-no way?! I’m scared to turn!!”

But Eri’s reaction was too slow. She just kept going straight, and we were doomed to continue our endless journey forward.

“Woman!! You just need to turn the wheel! Just the wheel!!!”

“I-I can’t help it!!!!!”

Eri wailed with a tearful expression.

“Eri… give up on driving. You… have no talent.”

I finally said with my eyes tightly shut. You got your license, right? Make that your life achievement… and maybe just never touch a steering wheel again? That’s what I was thinking deep down.

“No way!! My dream is to be an alpha girl who stylishly drives her kid to kindergarten!! Making mom friends and driving their kids too!!! Taking over when Shota gets tired of driving!!! That’s my dream!!”

Eri shouted.

“Not everyone can achieve their dreams!! Give it up!!”

I desperately tried to convince her. Right… that’s how it was in the real world too. Even though I was just a bug clinging to the edge of success as a writer… most of my peers who started with me either quit writing or got regular jobs. It’s not that they didn’t try hard. They just… couldn’t achieve their dreams. The world is cruel.

“I’ll never give up!! Even if I starve to death in this car, I’ll keep pressing the accelerator!!”

Eri shouted.

“You crazy woman!!!”

It’s admirable, but… what did I do to deserve this?!

———

Vroooooom-!!

Eri had been pressing the accelerator for about three hours straight.

The light on the road was gradually fading. We were heading deeper into the countryside.

Finally, there was a small convenience store near the straight road. Even a monkey could park here. There weren’t any other cars around either.

Eri finally managed to stop the car.

“Phew…….”

I finally got out of the car. Stepping on solid ground gave me an incredible sense of elation. This is it. This is earth, the foundation where humans live.

“……..”

Eri got out of the car with hollow eyes, moving sluggishly.

I immediately embraced her, kissed her, and patted her bottom.

“Eri, you may not be good at driving cars… but you ride me well in bed. That’s a tremendous talent too.”

I said with a smile.

“Really….. Shota only says perverted things.”

Eri seemed a bit deflated, but soon eagerly stole my lips.

“Still….. thank you for comforting me so sweetly. Shota.”

Eri said with a bright smile.

“Let’s go to the store for now.”

I looked at the store in front of the parking lot. It was a countryside supermarket. Even in the middle of nowhere, they should sell something to eat. We needed to eat and drink something to regain our composure.

Ding-a-ling-!

We entered the store.

“Welcome.”

An old man with a beard that reached the floor greeted us. I shouldn’t judge by appearances, but he looked extraordinarily unusual.

I picked up some cup noodles and instant coffee and went to pay.

“What brings outsiders to a place like this?”

The old man asked.

“My wife was driving on the road for the first time today… and she seems to have forgotten how to use the brakes.”

That’s how I explained it.

“Hahaha. My wife was the same. She drove a truck into a telephone pole.”

The old man laughed as he processed our payment.

“Card payments don’t work here.”

As I was about to take out my card, the old man immediately said that. Right. In rural Japan, it was always cash only. I don’t know why they love cash so much.

“I won’t say anything bad. Just leave this place quickly. This village… is cursed.”

The old man said.

“………”

Shit. As always, I had that familiar feeling. It seemed we had gotten involved in something out of the ordinary.

“The villagers don’t welcome outsiders. Just go back the way you came.”

The old man said, exuding a deeply meaningful atmosphere.

“I will. Is there a gas station nearby?”

That’s what I asked. The car was crying out for fuel after Eri’s endless straight driving. Does this vehicle… know what it feels like to be full?

“No, there isn’t. But I sell some here. Diesel?”

The old man immediately brought out an oil container. Even selling fuel… what is this, an American supermarket?

“Thank you.”

I took the fuel container and headed out.

“Shota… do you know how to put in the fuel?”

Eri asked.

“Yeah, I do.”

I immediately opened the fuel cap, connected the tube, and tilted the container.

Glug glug glug glug-!

With the pleasant smell of gasoline, the fuel went down the tank smoothly. It’s drinking well.

“I’ll drive now.”

That’s what I said.

“Am I… someone who shouldn’t drive?”

Eri wore a gloomy expression.

“No. This is… because we set the wrong goal from the beginning.”

I stroked Eri’s hair.

“Let’s start by driving around Emoshita first. After conquering Emoshita, we can go further.”

I slipped my hand under Eri’s clothes and fondled her breasts.

“No matter how long it takes… I’ll teach you properly.”

I said with a smile.

“Really…. Shota. You’re stretching my clothes…”

Eri said that, but she didn’t remove my hand.

Just as we were creating a lovey-dovey atmosphere…

Bang-! Bang-! Ratatata-!

Gunshots were heard from beyond the village. Yes, the quintessential American sound that’s rarely heard in Japan.

On the hillside of the village across the mountain, a beautiful foreign woman with delicate features was firing a gun. Blonde hair, doll-like appearance, voluptuous figure… a typical foreigner.

“Die!!”

“There she is!! Kill her!!”

And… villagers who were clearly not normal were trying to kill the foreigner while wielding tools.

Vrrrrr-!! VRRRRRRR-!!!!

At that moment, a villager with a chainsaw rushed to kill the foreigner.

“Holy shit!!”

The foreigner exclaimed in crisp English and ran into a village house to barricade herself.

“…..I didn’t see anything.”

This was clearly an ominous situation. Getting involved would definitely be troublesome.

At that moment, Eri firmly held my hand.

“Shota… we should go help her, right?”

Eri said with a bright smile.

“No? It’s not my business?”

I shook my head.

“Shota… you’re the type who helps people in trouble. Because you’re a hero.”

Eri kissed my cheek as if she knew everything.

“I’ll follow you.”

Eri said with a smile. I was so grateful for the existence of my girlfriend who embraced me. Indeed… I’m lucky with women.

“Really… I guess I have no choice.”

I sighed and headed to the car trunk. Then I grabbed the spare wooden sword.

“KIYOOOOOOOH!!!”

And I immediately headed into the village to rescue the foreigner in distress.

——-

Bang-! Bang-! Bang-!

The foreigner was shooting from the roof of the mansion, trying to hold out somehow.

The villagers surrounded the mansion with weapons as if they had a grudge against the foreigner.

Bang-!

A bullet pierced through a villager’s head.

Splaaaash-!!

However, the villager didn’t fall. Tentacles emerged from the burst head. It was clearly something extraterrestrial.

Whoosh-!

After enhancing my body in a stance of burning intensity, I immediately struck the villagers with my wooden sword.

Thwack-! Thwack-! Thwack-!!

The villagers who were hit by the wooden sword collapsed one by one, incapacitated.

With that, the villagers’ hostility turned toward me.

“Die!!”

One villager swung an axe at me.

Clang-!

After blocking it with my wooden sword, I immediately struck upward from below, hitting the villager’s chin with my sword.

In the blink of an eye, all the enemies were lying down, groaning.

“Hey! You can come out now!”

That’s what I shouted.

“Thank you. I’ve finally met someone I can talk to.”

The foreigner immediately expressed her gratitude to me.

“I’m Leon, a member of the U.S. President’s special forces.”

The foreigner introduced herself.

“You are… Ah! You’re the famous Arigiri Shota who protected Earth from aliens!”

She seemed to recognize me.

Yeah, I am famous.

“I’m his wife, Eri.”

Eri immediately asserted her position as the legal wife.

“Ah… you make a lovely couple.”

Leon gave an American reaction, then looked around.

“The President’s daughter was kidnapped and brought to this village, so I came to rescue her. I heard that extraterrestrial life forms were secretly hiding in this village… it’s not normal.”

Leon said.

This… is a parody of that famous game, right? The fourth installment of that famous game?

“I see. Be careful.”

Anyway, I’ve done my part in helping. I’ve done everything I needed to. I was about to walk away.

“……….”

But Leon stared at me silently with tears welling up in her eyes.

This is driving me crazy. Really.