Ch.9Insane, I Tell You! (3)

#009

Finally, my five consecutive days of work without a holiday were over.

Now I had two days off ahead of me.

“Hehehe! Hehehe! Time to have some fun!”

Dan was acting completely wild, to the point where even Dexter standing next to him felt slightly embarrassed.

“Where are you planning to go?”

“Lake Mead. Going fishing with my son. Don’t contact me! Don’t even mention the D in Dan!”

When Dan mentioned he was going fishing at the large lake near Las Vegas, Dexter replied.

“I don’t even have your contact info anyway. Ah, abandoning your junior like this. What a disappointment.”

As Dexter spoke with a tone of genuine disappointment, Dan, who had been standing some distance away, rushed over.

“Really? You don’t have it? Not even a single digit of my phone number?”

“Nope. Really don’t have it.”

“Give me your phone. I’ll put it in before I go, but seriously, don’t contact me.”

Taking the phone Dexter held out, Dan noticed that the contact list was completely empty except for Judy and commented.

“Hey, why don’t you have any contacts except for Judy?”

“I broke my phone before coming here. It’s too much trouble to register contacts again, so I just left it as is.”

He was too embarrassed to say “I don’t have anyone to contact.”

“Is that so? Well, you should register some. Makes you look like a loner.”

“That’s why Dan should register his number for me.”

“Already did. Anyway, don’t contact me! Seriously!”

“I won’t. Don’t worry. Have a good rest. Just become the monster of Lake Mead while you’re at it.”

“Isn’t that last part just a curse?”

Dan waved goodbye and drove off, while Dexter headed toward his pickup truck to leave work.

Dexter’s sixth sense tingled.

It felt like someone was nearby.

Though it was unlikely there would be a robber near a prison, he slowly moved his hand to his waist where his baton was, just in case he needed to strike.

“You seem to be doing well?”

“Move and I’ll hit… Huh?”

Dexter froze at the familiar voice.

A woman was standing next to his pickup truck.

Light brown skin, black suit, even her stockings were black 80 denier ones.

“Ah, the foul-mouthed one?”

“Foul-mouthed? That’s harsh of you to say.”

It was Agent Himena, wearing sunglasses despite the dim evening.

‘Are those sunglasses standard issue?’

Agent Himena’s voice was soft as she removed her sunglasses, but the corners of her mouth were twitching.

“You are foul-mouthed, though. What brings you here?”

“…The director asked me to check if Mr. Hughes was doing well.”

Her reaction was amusing.

Dexter decided to take it up a notch.

“Me? I’m doing fine. Never had such a comfortable job before. How about you, Agent Potty Mouth? Is the work manageable?”

“Please stop calling me potty mouth at the end of every sentence…”

Her grip tightened on her sunglasses, slightly bending the arms.

Seeing that she wasn’t cursing despite his teasing, Dexter suspected there was something going on with Agent Himena.

“Could you please answer my question properly…”

Agent Himena was about to put her sunglasses in her suit pocket when she tucked a strand of fallen hair behind her ear.

‘Ah, that’s it?’

In Agent Himena’s ear was a wireless earpiece, barely visible unless you looked closely.

It seemed to be custom-made, matching her skin tone, suggesting she didn’t want Dexter to notice it.

“Is headquarters eavesdropping?”

“…!”

Agent Himena flinched, covering her earpiece with her hand, and Dexter smiled slyly.

“I can tell because you’re not cursing and holding back. I wonder how much you’re restraining yourself from cursing at me.”

“Ahem! Mr. Hughes, I have a few questions to ask…”

As Agent Himena tried to suppress Dexter’s teasing and proceed with her questions, Dexter threw in another comment.

“Go ahead, just don’t curse.”

“S-so, as I was sayiiing?”

Her mouth corners twisted more noticeably than before, and her voice involuntarily rose.

Dexter wanted to roll on the ground laughing, but he held back.

“Could you evaluate how well the Residence Management Division handled their proposal and explanation?”

“Ten points, ten points.”

“What? Ah. I’ll take that as meaning you’re very satisfied.”

Thinking Dexter had given a normal response, Agent Himena wrote something in the notebook she was holding.

Dexter added one more comment after seeing this.

“Out of a hundred points.”

“Y-you mean it wasn’t helpful at all, d-don’t you?”

‘Wow, her eye is already twitching.’

The pen she was holding looked like it might snap at any moment, and her glare seemed ready to cut Dexter in half.

He decided to ease up on the jokes.

“Just kidding. Ten out of ten is correct. The job is good, and you explained Earth culture well.”

“I see… Next…”

Dexter noticed the metal pen she was holding had bent ever so slightly.

‘If I push any further, I might die.’

After that, Dexter answered Agent Himena’s questions properly, feeling like it was a short survey.

“You could have answered like this from the beginning.”

“But that wouldn’t be fun.”

The moment Dexter said that, the corner of her mouth twitched again.

“So, is that all?”

“Ah, and our director asked me to give you his business card.”

“The director? Oh, Steve?”

“Y-you even know his name. Hehe.”

Leaving Agent Himena with her twisted smile behind, Dexter immediately checked the business card he received.

The card had a phone number but no person’s name.

However, it did have a company name—OSA—which wasn’t an ordinary name.

“Oyster Society of America? Is this for real?”

“…Everyone in the Residence Management Division strongly opposed this name.”

Agent Himena was looking away as she spoke.

It was indeed embarrassing.

“How can a government secret department be named the Oyster Society of America?”

Agent Himena’s face turned red.

“Agent Himena of the Oyster Society of America, is that all you have to tell me besides the business card?”

When Dexter pointed it out once more, Agent Himena sighed deeply with downcast eyes and replied.

“…Yesss, that’s alll.”

‘She’s completely given up now.’

There was no life in Agent Himena’s eyes.

With the fun gone from teasing her, Dexter decided to stop and let her go home.

“Alright. Be careful on your way back, it’s dark.”

“What?”

“I said be careful on your way back.”

When Dexter addressed Agent Himena with a harmless smile, she became suspicious.

“…You’re not going to say anything else? Like calling me potty mouth?”

“Would you like me to?”

“No! No, that’s fine.”

Only after Dexter got into his pickup truck and started the engine did she seem relieved.

As he rolled down the side window, Agent Himena spoke to him with a sullen expression.

“Next time we meet, please stop with the jokes.”

Dexter replied.

“Next time we meet, please don’t curse.”

Just as Agent Himena was about to open her mouth, Dexter immediately stepped on the accelerator and drove off.

“Hey, you son of a bitch!”

“Tsk, tsk, I told you not to curse! Hehehe. See you later.”

In the side mirror, Dexter could see Agent Himena throwing a fit, then grabbing her ear and grimacing intensely.

“Getting scolded, are we? Hahaha!”

Dexter laughed, tapping the steering wheel.

* * *

The first day off since becoming a prison guard.

Dexter woke up early with bedhead and sat on the sofa, staring blankly.

He had turned on the TV, but couldn’t find any programs he found interesting.

“Ah…”

He felt he shouldn’t be spending his day off like this, but he didn’t have much else to do.

Dexter took out his phone from his pocket and checked his contact list.

[Oyster Society of America]

[Officer Judy]

[Senior Dan]

“Not many people to contact, I see.”

Dan would be enjoying fishing with his son, and there was no reason to call OSA.

“That leaves Goswell.”

He thought about calling, but there was no reason to bother her on her first day off too.

“No need to annoy her unnecessarily.”

Dexter knew he had a mischievous streak.

He tended to play more pranks on people who had amusing reactions.

Like Agent Himena last night, and Judy who also showed reactions that made her fun to tease.

“And I still don’t have a good idea of what exercise to make her do.”

He couldn’t just make her run six miles every day like he did.

In the end, Dexter gave up on contacting Judy and went back to staring blankly.

There was nothing to do.

“When I was in space, I was so damn busy. I used to think it would be nice to have even one day off.”

Dexter scratched his head vigorously.

Now that he had a day off, he was doing nothing.

If this continued, he’d fall into negative thoughts and waste his precious day off.

“Ah, maybe I should visit the spaceship?”

Wanting to do something, Dexter quickly got ready in the bathroom.

Neatly prepared, Dexter headed to Grinch Air Force Base, which was right next to Honeygood Springs.

“Stop, stop. What’s your business here?”

When an Air Force soldier on guard duty at the gate stopped Dexter in his pickup truck, Dexter rummaged through his pocket.

“Ah, just a moment… Here it is.”

Seeing the card Dexter presented, the soldier saluted and granted him entry.

“Good morning.”

“Yes, keep up the good work.”

After awkwardly greeting the guard, Dexter passed through the checkpoint and said to himself.

“What exactly is that card that makes soldiers salute?”

Since the card was issued by OSA, even Dexter didn’t know exactly what role it played.

Following the fence, he saw aircraft hangars next to the military barracks.

Dexter parked his truck in front of the hangars and stood before one of them.

Unlike the other hangars, this one had a “No Unauthorized Entry” sign and a padlock on the entrance door.

“No one would imagine a spaceship being in a place like this.”

While people might be curious about Area 51, no one would wonder about an Air Force base in this rural town.

Thinking that OSA’s site selection was brilliant, Dexter unlocked the padlock with a key from his pocket.

Seeing the spaceship with its still attractive and sleek cyan-white body, Dexter grinned.

“Could there be a prettier spaceship than this?”

As Dexter patted the wing and approached the entrance, the spaceship automatically opened its door.

-Mr. Dexter. You’re back.

“Yeah, yeah. You’re working hard too.”

Ignoring the guidance voice of the spaceship that wouldn’t actually respond, Dexter went to the cargo area to check the luggage he had brought.

“Finally opening this now.”

In front of Dexter were several large, heavy metal boxes.

If things had gone as planned, these items would have been responsible for Dexter’s livelihood going forward.

‘Who would have known there would be a department called OSA.’

Though it wasn’t that long ago, taking out the items he had packed in the boxes brought back memories.

“These are clothes to change into. This is a pouch with gold pieces. This is what I used for work. Huh? Why is this here?”

In Dexter’s hand was a white metal device from a bag he was rummaging through in the box.

It looked like a smart band that you would wear on your wrist.

Dexter certainly knew the purpose of this device.

“But why is it here, that’s the question.”

Originally, this device wasn’t Dexter’s, and it was something he had no need for, either then or now.

“Ah, don’t tell me. This is Aisha’s.”

Dexter remembered the daughter of the boss at the transport company where he had last worked.

She was a spoiled girl who would call him “oppa” when it suited her, but would show her fierce side and look down on Dexter when it was to her advantage, always acting as she pleased.

“I told her not to hide her things in my bag, and she still caused trouble.”

Aisha had a habit of secretly buying things with her father’s money and would often hide her belongings in Dexter’s closet or luggage to avoid getting caught.

Dexter was about to complain, imagining Aisha crying and making a fuss about losing her item, when he took another look at the device in his hand.

“Wait, I might be able to use this.”

Dexter fell into thought as he examined the device.