Ch.98The Weight of Vengeance (2)

I left the Praester territory as quickly as possible. There was a chance that another pursuit team might follow me.

I took out some coins from the pouch I had brought and bought a hood to cover my face.

Thus, until I left the territory, only the castle gatekeeper and the merchant who sold me the hood had seen my face.

At first, I just walked aimlessly to the next city.

A distance that seemed short when traveling by horse took quite a long time on foot.

I reached the first city after walking for two days.

It was the territory of the Cecil family, a vassal house of the Praester family.

Fortunately, the entire territory wasn’t surrounded by walls, so entering the town wasn’t difficult.

If I had needed to climb over walls, the gatekeepers would certainly have recognized me.

Castle gatekeepers are experts at remembering faces. They couldn’t possibly forget me, the former eldest son of the Praester family.

Anyway, in the town outside the castle, I first got a meal and then sought sleep.

In truth, many things felt unfamiliar.

The food was cold and had a strange smell. The bed was hard and crawling with mites.

When morning came, my entire body felt stiff.

It felt like I had trained too hard the day before.

But I suppose this is something I’ll have to get used to.

I rubbed my face and left the inn.

I heard a commotion. There was a place where crowds were gathering.

Since there was no reason to avoid it, I joined the crowd.

At our destination, someone wearing clothes more elegant than the commoners stood on a wooden platform.

He shouted loudly:

“Listen again! Caden Praester of the Praester family, whom the Cecil family serves! Word has come that he’s been expelled from his family! If someone appears claiming to be Caden Praester! Even if they show the Praester family crest! There’s no need to follow their orders! That’s what I’m saying!”

I looked up at him and nodded slightly to myself.

Asena had already begun to act. I never thought her words were empty threats, but this was faster than I expected.

If so, she must also be keeping her promise to hate me.

“……”

I’m not sure what this emotion I’m feeling is.

People were murmuring. Being among them, I could hear every conversation clearly.

‘No way… what happened…?’

‘Isn’t he the one? That commoner who was adopted by the Praester family!’

‘Now that the Praester Duke has come of age, they probably threw him out.’

‘…But still, if he appeared before me, I’d be scared and follow his orders.’

‘Really? If he appears before me, I plan to beat him up. When else would I get to hit a nobleman!’

I adjusted my hood and left the place.

From here, the distance to the next city was considerable.

I couldn’t make it just by walking.

I needed to hire a carriage or find some other means.

“I’ll say it again! Caden Praester! Expelled from his family! No longer a Praester, so…..”

I walked away, leaving his words behind.

****

As I stood quietly looking at the city walls, I occasionally saw merchants leaving the city.

There was a reason I was waiting here.

I couldn’t rent a horse and had to buy one, but I obviously didn’t have enough money for that. Paying a coachman to take me to the next city would also be quite burdensome, especially since I needed to cover both meal and lodging costs.

So my plan was to hitch a ride with merchants and offer protection in exchange.

Since carriages entered the castle, I had no choice but to wait outside for departing carriages.

But even that wait was over now. I spotted one carriage.

It had fewer guards than the cargo it carried warranted. Even those few guards didn’t seem to be in good condition, making it perfect for me to approach.

Their desire to sell more goods had made them neglect safety.

I positioned myself in the carriage’s path and stopped them.

“Get out of the way!”

The coachman shouted.

I lowered my hood and spoke. There was no way they would recognize my face.

“I have a favor to ask!”

“I don’t want to hear it! If you don’t move quickly, I’ll drive you away!”

“Are you perhaps short on guards?”

At those words, the well-dressed person sitting next to the coachman—probably the merchant—perked up.

The previously indifferent man spoke for the first time.

“….Guards?”

“Despite appearances, I’m confident in my sword skills. You seem to be short on guards, so I’ll help you. In exchange, please take me to the next city.”

He turned his head briefly to look at those guarding his carriage.

To my eyes, this merchant didn’t care much about the quality of his guards. If he did, he would have hired people with better physiques.

So he probably wouldn’t check my quality either.

After thinking for a moment, he asked:

“Do you know where we’re going?”

“Aren’t you heading north?”

“….That’s right.”

“Then it doesn’t matter. It would be better if I knew the exact destination, though.”

“….We’re going to the Bones family’s territory.”

Bones. A name I remembered. Kirsy’s friend, Mary Bones, was from there. The location was actually quite convenient. From there to the Hexter territory was about a two-day journey by horse.

Getting to the Bones territory was the issue. I estimated it would take about… 5 days.

“The Bones territory works well for me too.”

“….What about payment?”

“I don’t need any. Just let me ride in the empty space of your carriage and provide food. If you have a spare horse, that would be nice too. I know how to ride.”

“….Oh?”

He raised one eyebrow and looked at the coachman, as if seeking his agreement.

The coachman just looked back and forth between me and the merchant.

The merchant asked once more:

“But how can I trust you?”

“By that logic, aren’t all those guards over there just mercenaries hired cheaply? How am I any different? If anything, my intentions are more transparent. I just need to go north.”

Finally, the merchant nodded.

“Yes, that’s true.”

He pointed to the back with his thumb.

“Go to the back.”

I gave him a smile and headed to the back of the carriage.

I was also able to borrow a horse.

****

The news struck Daisy like lightning.

Asena’s rough handwriting on the letter. There was no doubt.

Even though Caden had warned her, reading the letter was still a great shock to Daisy.

She could roughly guess what had happened.

Caden had returned to the territory because the twins loved him, and the twins would have arrived at the territory recently.

And then this letter arrived immediately after.

Caden must have rejected their feelings.

What had happened to him? That’s what she was most curious about.

The letter said he had been expelled, but was he okay?

What if the twins had harmed him because he rejected their feelings?

Amidst her confusion, her father stroked his chin.

“…..Hmm..”

Daisy, naturally concerned about this news, looked at her father.

“…..What’s wrong?”

“….He was expelled from the family sooner than I expected.”

“…….But Duchess Riana promised a strong alliance, so you don’t need to worry.”

Daisy tried to reassure her father. She hoped nothing would go wrong because of this. Though they didn’t say it, they both knew the cause of this atmosphere.

Caden becoming a commoner. No longer being a Praester. That was the problem.

“…Yes. She did.”

“Besides, you haven’t forgotten how Caden helped our people, have you?”

“Of course I can’t forget that. He saved countless lives.”

“If you change your stance now…. that would truly be betraying your principles. How could we turn away someone who reached out to help us in our time of need? We would be cursed.”

“….That’s true, but….”

‘But….’ As Hexter Baron let his words trail off, Daisy momentarily frowned.

“Father!”

“My goodness, why are you shouting…”

Hexter Baron snapped out of his thoughts and looked at Daisy. Seeing her angry face, he let his words trail off again.

Then, licking his lips, he tried to reassure Daisy.

“I’m not doing this because I dislike Caden, but because I’m thinking of you. If you no longer have interest in Caden now that he’s become a commoner—”

“I’m only interested in Caden. You don’t know how fortunate I felt that I could be with him.”

“….Really? I didn’t know you considered it fortunate.”

“I do consider it fortunate. And I’m satisfied too. We’ve received so many favors from him… I want to repay them. Even apart from that, his values and personality are so admirable.”

“…Alright, my child. Don’t be too angry.”

“Don’t say such things again. Understand? If he comes to our territory, I want you to treat him with the utmost respect.”

Hexter Baron scratched his head.

“Ah, yes. About that. So what happened to Caden?”

“…..What?”

“We only know he was expelled from the family, but we don’t know where he is or what condition he’s in.”

“……….”

Daisy fell silent at her father’s continued words.

Seeing Daisy’s deepening concern, Hexter Baron chose not to pressure his daughter further.

Offering his own form of comfort, he rose from his seat.

“…..Right. Of course, you wouldn’t know either. I’ll go ahead.”

Left alone, Daisy asked a question with no answer.

‘….Yes, Caden. Where are you?’

Though she believed he would manage well on his own, she felt a slight unease.

****

After leaving the Praester territory and a day had passed, I began to feel more at ease.

Riding on horseback probably had something to do with it. On that rather boring journey, all I could do was get lost in thought.

On the first day, after traveling all day, we prepared to camp as the sun set.

We lit a fire in an open clearing, safer than the dense forest, and had a late dinner. The quality wasn’t great, but it filled my stomach. However, seeing the other guards exclaim how delicious it was multiple times made me think I might be too spoiled.

Having lived in a duke’s mansion all my life, my palate had probably become a bit refined. Anyway, I thanked them for the food provided and emptied my bowl completely.

Afterward, the coachman and merchant went to sleep, while the guards and I determined the watch order through a simple game.

Fortunately, I was first.

So, while adding logs to keep the fire going, I tried to sort out what had happened between the twins.

“….Haah.”

I let out a short sigh. The man keeping watch with me didn’t bother to speak to me. This too was fortunate. I needed time to think.

I don’t know how things got so complicated. I’m not sure if my choice was right either. Being human, I really don’t know what’s correct. It would be nice if someone appeared and told me the answer.

…..I just hope things work out well. If things go as Asena said…. it might turn out okay.

She said she would hate me. Those words made my heart ache, but that might not be so bad.

I hope she no longer loves me as a man. After all, love is a lasting emotion, but anger doesn’t last as long. If she hates me and lets go of her love… and if that anger subsides in the distant future, couldn’t I return to the territory and see Grandmother, or Lawrence… or the twins again?

Perhaps this is too hopeful and selfish a thought. Especially when I think about what I did to the twins, I shouldn’t even harbor such hopes.

I promised to stay by their side, to be their support, but in the end, I left them. No matter how the situation changed, the fact that they relied on me remains unchanged.

Knowing that I was the pillar of their hearts, I still made this choice. I know I was too harsh.

….But also, I don’t know what else to do. The twins wanted only one thing, and that hasn’t changed. To form a bond with me.

“…..Sigh.”

It’s not that I’m some sage who couldn’t cross a moral line to accept their feelings. Though it was to save commoner children, I’ve committed the worst act of murder.

I’m not a clean person.

But to accept my sisters’ feelings, I feel a deep, heavy, and personal… sense of guilt.

I’m not as great as they think.

I remember every moment the twins grew up. As children. As teenagers. And now as adults.

The feeling of my sisters nuzzling their heads against my chest like cats is still vivid. The memory of stroking their soft hair while listening to their gentle breathing is still alive within me.

Asena’s bright smile that she showed only to me. Kirsy’s affection that she gave only to me.

If I were to accept the feelings of these adorable sisters.

…….I would lay these sisters, now women, on a bed, share saliva and breath, wet our skin with each other’s sweat, engrave their moans in my ears, and pursue physical pleasure.

My heart is too heavy for that.

Just thinking about it made my heart race. With guilt.

Even if the twins want it, even if Grandmother said she would understand whatever choice I ultimately make…

Isn’t it too dirty of me to mix flesh with my sisters? Isn’t it too beastly of me?

After being reincarnated and living almost my entire life for my sisters, I’m too impure to pluck these flowers.

That’s why I’m running away like this. I wouldn’t have fled from any enemy if my sisters were behind me, but I couldn’t withstand the gentle offensive of my sisters.

Others might criticize me for lacking courage, but if they were in the same position, they wouldn’t be able to say anything.

Who could share love with sisters they’ve cherished and raised?

My choice was an extremely personal one. Though I’ve lived for my sisters until now, this was a choice for myself.

I could die for my sisters. But I can’t defile them, even in death.

This is more comfortable for me than receiving their hatred and parting with my family.

The situation has been greatly reversed.

I can no longer keep many of my promises.

My sisters might become villains… no, they were already villains beyond my control.

I hope their anger is directed only at me. And that they eventually forget me and become more mature.

….Of course, I knew that even that wouldn’t be up to me.

I don’t know. I really don’t know. Again, I just hope this choice was the right one.