Ch.97The Weight of Vengeance (1)

I left the twins and headed straight to Grandmother’s room.

I felt I should say my final goodbye to her as well.

I didn’t know how long I wouldn’t be able to see her. Asena’s anger, her declaration that she would never see me again, might last a lifetime. If that happened… this would be the last time I’d see Grandmother too.

*Knock knock.*

Since I was short on time, I slowly opened the door after knocking, not waiting for permission to enter.

Grandmother was sitting looking out the window. When she slowly looked up at me, she was startled by my expression.

She seemed to see the resolute determination now on my face.

She also seemed to have anticipated my choice.

She frowned, then stood up from her seat.

Without saying anything, I approached her with open arms.

Grandmother also came toward me, and we embraced each other gently.

“…Caden… must you really do this…?”

“……..”

“Am I to lose another child…?”

“I’m sorry.”

“…Didn’t I tell you there’s no need for you to sacrifice yourself?”

Her words made my heart heavy… and at the same time frustrated.

“…Grandmother, I don’t know any other way… I can’t say this is a good solution. But it’s the only one I have.”

“……..”

“…Asena is very angry.”

“………”

“She said she never wants to see me again… haha. So maybe… this might be the last time with you too, Grandmother.”

“…What?”

“I told you I’d return when I disappear from the twins’ hearts… but even that might be difficult now.”

“Ca… Caden…!”

“Thank you for everything. For truly… raising me like your grandson.”

Grandmother broke from my embrace and looked up at me. Her eyes were filled with indescribable confusion.

The fact that we might meet again someday is different from a complete farewell.

That’s why death is so sad.

I speak.

“…I don’t know what will happen from now on. Grandmother, I’m going to the Hexter Family now. I’ll become a commoner… but Count Hexter agreed to take me in because of his promise to you, right? Even if I become a commoner… you said you would support the Hexters.”

“………”

“But if it seems like the conflict with Asena might grow, feel free to give up. It’s not for me to decide, but I’ll try to survive on my own strength in the Hexter Family. I heard that the people in Hexter territory already like me. Because of the grain I provided. On top of that, I’ll continue to develop my skills as a knight… I’ll have to hope they accept me. I’ll find out when I get there.”

“…No…”

“You need to stay healthy, Grandmother.”

I took her right hand in both of mine, then kissed the back of it.

After that, I silently turned around.

Only after I turned away did Grandmother grab me.

“Caden!”

Asena had done the same earlier. She had grabbed me when I was leaving. I couldn’t help but smile at how similar they truly were.

“…Caden… do you really… have to do this…”

“…….”

“…Rather than you sacrificing yourself like this….”

“…….”

“…Yes, whatever choice you make is fine. I was wrong. Caden… whatever choice you make is fine. I can no longer bear to see all my grandchildren breaking apart…”

I slightly furrowed my brow.

“…What do you mean by that…?”

“…….”

She didn’t speak.

Did she mean what I was thinking?

I shook my head.

“…No. That… that’s not possible… They’re my siblings.”

Then I turned around.

****

When I arrived at the stable, the stable keeper smiled upon seeing my face.

“Lord Caden. What brings you here?”

He seemed unaware of the commotion inside the castle.

“Where’s Rush?”

“He’s inside. Are you going for a walk?”

I nodded and smiled.

“…Yes. A walk, if you could call it that.”

I entered the stable to find Rush. It wasn’t difficult. I just had to look for the large black horse.

I approached Rush and stroked his head.

“…Rush. Have you been well?”

Rush responded with a strange sound.

“You never change.”

There was comfort in that fact. The unchanging nature of things.

I grabbed his reins and opened the wooden fence.

At that moment, I heard the sound of many men in heavy armor approaching. I could recognize the familiar metallic sound immediately.

Looking outside the stable, I saw Sir Lawrence standing there. My mentor and the knight I aspired to be like.

“…Lord Caden.”

His voice was filled with confusion. Praester soldiers lined up beside him.

Though they were Praester soldiers… they were all young men I could call my friends.

Having crossed swords with them during training, I could see the bewilderment clearly on their faces.

“…What have you done?”

Lawrence asked.

“…….”

“What have you done… for there to be an order to imprison you…”

So they even ordered my imprisonment. Did she intend to punish me? Our relationship truly was heading toward catastrophe. She must have hardened her heart. Decided to hate me.

“Lawrence. Let me through. Boys… let me through.”

I didn’t explain anything to them. I just made a request.

“Lord Caden, were things not good between you, the head of the family, and Lady Kirsy? There must be some misunderstanding. Please go back and talk—”

“—Lawrence. The reasons are difficult to explain. I can’t go back, and I shouldn’t. So please let me through.”

“………”

“You know me, Lawrence. I have my reasons.”

Lawrence gritted his teeth. The soldiers beside him were all waiting for his decision. But they seemed to want to grant my request too, as the swords in their hands loosened.

Lawrence continued.

“…I heard you’ve been expelled from the Praester Family.”

“…Yes.”

“…Then you can’t take the horse either.”

At his words, I looked back at Rush. Well, that’s fair enough.

I took Rush’s head and pressed my forehead against his nose.

“…I have to say goodbye to you too.”

Yes, since I’m leaving anyway… this might be cleaner. Leaving all traces of Praester behind.

I let go of Rush’s reins and looked at Lawrence.

“…Will you let me go now?”

Lawrence pondered for a long time. I could see the pain on his face.

As a knight, one must be loyal to one’s lord.

That’s what Lawrence had heard until his ears were calloused.

And now he was conflicted, looking at me whom he had taught swordsmanship since childhood.

The phrase “a shrimp caught between fighting whales” seems fitting. I’m only sorry that he got caught up in our fight.

If I had known this would happen… I should have left quickly without letting Lawrence see me. But then again, I couldn’t leave without saying goodbye to Grandmother.

A subordinate beside him whispered to him.

“…Sir Lawrence…”

It sounded like he was pleading for me.

Lawrence squeezed his eyes shut.

“…We didn’t see anything.”

He told the soldiers.

They all nodded in unison.

At the same time, he cleared the way.

I stood in that gap, looking at Lawrence.

Simultaneously, he and I embraced each other. It was a strong and firm hug.

“…Lawrence. Thank you.”

“Lord Caden… you must return someday.”

“…Haha, if it’s possible.”

And so, with only my sword, I left Praester Castle. I tore off the snake emblem of the Praester Family that had been attached to my shoulder and threw it on the ground.

****

Asena was trapped in a mental prison. No matter how hard she tried to shake off her thoughts, her eyes couldn’t see what was in front of her. Her vision kept returning to that memory.

Caden, who left without a word at the end.

She couldn’t accept that fact.

It hurt as if she was feeling all the world’s sorrow alone. She writhed in bed, screamed, ordered Lawrence to be confined in solitary for two days for failing to bring Caden back, broke and shattered things, but nothing changed.

As she destroyed everything in the room, a new emotion began to rise… anger. A deep, burning anger.

She had clearly told him. That he would regret his choice. That she would hate him. That she would no longer love him.

She hated him for ignoring even that and leaving. She was angry.

The feeling of wanting him to suffer continued to grow.

Truly, sincerely, she wanted him to suffer.

…And after suffering like that, she wanted him to return to her. She wanted him to know that leaving her side would only bring hardship.

She wanted him to regret. She wanted him to miss her.

So Asena roughly wiped away her tears.

She immediately sat at her desk, opened the inkwell, and forcefully dipped the quill into it.

She began to scribble letters. Letters to be sent to numerous families.

The news that Caden Praester was no longer a Praester. The fact that the Praester Family no longer had an eldest son. The fact that he was now just a commoner. The fact that there was no benefit in taking care of him. She wrote all this down in her letters.

When these letters spread throughout the kingdom… Caden would not receive the treatment of a nobleman. Rather, he might receive even worse treatment. Having expelled him without explanation, the noble families would infer that there was conflict between him and the Praesters.

So families that didn’t want to get on the wrong side of the Praester Family would naturally avoid him.

Even that was part of Asena’s plan. She wanted all families to be hostile toward him.

Then perhaps he, having lost his home, might return.

Of course, as much as she wanted that, she also wanted him to suffer. She wanted him to feel at least a fraction of the pain she was feeling. She resented him so much for leaving despite her desperate pleas.

She wrote letters not only to powerful noble families but also to fallen nobles in the borderlands. Anyone who saw her would have recognized that she was consumed by madness.

Eventually, she ran out of wax to seal the letters.

Even after asking Helen to send all the written letters, her anger did not subside.

Even when her emotions calmed down, they would flare up again when she realized Caden was no longer by her side.

She pondered what more she could do to lash out.

…The Hexter Family.

She wanted to harm that hateful family.

“………”

Just as she was about to open her mouth to call Helen, ready to turn her violent thoughts into action, she couldn’t bring herself to speak.

Caden would soon go there.

If.

If she decided to raise an army to annihilate the Hexter Family… he, who would become the husband of the eldest daughter, would surely join the war.

If he were to get seriously injured.

She wanted him to suffer… but equally, she wanted him to return to her side. So war was out of the question.

“………”

Asena couldn’t hide her contorted expression. After the long wave of anger passed… left alone again, tears began to fall from her eyes.

Her eyes caught sight of the Praester emblem that Caden had torn off, which Lawrence had handed to her.

Asena tightly clutched the emblem with the two snakes in both hands.

With this here, it felt like all ties with him had truly been severed. She had no idea how to reconnect. Until now, they had been bound together as Praesters, but not anymore.

Would she really never see him again for the rest of her life?

Having parted like this, how could they ever meet again?

Her head became complicated. The anger that had subsided at the fact of his departure flared up again.

Once more, she made that promise to herself.

First, she would cause him pain, one way or another.

…So that he would regret and return.