Ch.95Can I do it?

# 95. Can You Do It?

Rewinding time just a little bit, back to when Yehyun was still traveling in the true dreamland in tent number 3.

I woke up from sleep because my back hurt from lying down too much, and the first thing I did was check Yuri’s condition.

‘She’s fine.’

I don’t know what kind of dream she was having, but seeing her smiling faintly was nice to see, even though I was planning to scold her later.

“Nyaa…?”

[Sunghyun…?]

“Shhh. Sorry for waking you. Go back to sleep.”

“Nyaang…?”

[Going out…?]

“Yes. My body is so stiff it’s starting to hurt, so I’m just going to take a couple of laps around here and come back.”

After patting Danya’s back as she burrowed into my blanket, seemingly disappointed by my departure, I moved my creaking body and left the tent.

‘Just that little movement and my body is already… whew.’

No exaggeration, my physical condition was worse than level 1. If you keep drinking potions, you develop potion addiction which drastically reduces their effectiveness, and with excessive bleeding, ritual burden, potion addiction, overwork, and mental fatigue all piled up…

*Crack*

“Oh.”

“Soyu noona?”

I was catching my breath outside the tent when I heard the sound of a twig breaking. When I turned around, Soyu noona was looking at me with a surprised expression.

I approached her slowly, hiding any signs of pain.

“What are you doing out at this ungodly hour?”

“…Couldn’t sleep. And you?”

“Me neither. My back was killing me. From lying down too much.”

I was about to shrug my shoulders but stopped because I thought it would hurt. But Soyu noona was avoiding my gaze and fidgeting.

“I’m sorry.”

“Huh?”

“That I, the healer, am in this state.”

“No. I heard roughly what happened, and they said your performance was amazing.”

“Performance. Performance… right.”

Soyu noona stared blankly at the sky and then hung her head low again.

“Sorry.”

“For what?”

“Just everything.”

“That’s what I should be saying.”

If we trace it back, I was at the root of all this sin. Soyu noona’s suffering was ultimately because of me, wasn’t it?

“Let’s put aside the apologies and self-blame for a moment. Can you tell me what’s troubling you the most?”

“…”

“You’re the healer who heals us. Then there should be at least one person who heals you too. Even if that just means listening to what you have to say. Don’t you think?”

Instead of answering, Soyu noona crouched down. She picked up a piece of the twig she had broken and started drawing something.

‘Oh boy. Even sitting down is a chore.’

The basics of conversation include making eye contact. I sat down next to her and silently watched what she was drawing.

‘This isn’t just meaningless scribbling?’

Soyu noona seemed to have a talent for drawing. I thought she was just fidgeting because her mind was troubled, but the broken twig was increasingly clearly expressing something.

It was a ‘battlefield.’

The depiction of people was very simple, but the characteristics were so well-captured that I could tell at a glance what was what.

It was a scene of Subin’s flame spear and Soyu noona’s Record Erasure crossing in an X-shape to bombard the Albs.

*Snap*

The drawing remained incomplete as the twig broke once more. At the same time, Soyu noona began to speak.

“Ever since that moment, I keep hearing screams and seeing people wailing.”

“Those damn Albs.”

“Yeah. They’re bad guys, right? Not content with driving us out of our homeland long ago, they pick on the Ayords over trivial matters and harass them again. Even trying to invade. They’re clearly the enemy, both in the scenario and in reality.”

But.

Soyu noona continued as she dropped the twice-broken twig to the ground.

“Strictly speaking, they’re not my enemies, right? I’m just an otherworlder who wants to climb the tower with you and the raid members. With that mindset underlying my actions… when I saw the death throes of the Albs I killed so easily and so cruelly… at that moment, cause and effect seemed meaningless.”

It’s a bit of a stretch, but perhaps it’s like the feeling of a pilot who dropped Little Boy or Fat Man without knowing it was an atomic bomb?

I didn’t dare say I understood her feelings.

“If I had moved a little better, Subin wouldn’t have had to push herself so hard. Subin is different from me; she’s truly strong. Even though she was sickened by it, even though she killed Albs like I did, she didn’t show it and led the operation.”

“Subin is amazing.”

“Hehe. That’s right. She’s a true number one worthy of being number one, while I’m just a woman with an empty title. Easily broken, crumbling, having to rely on others and pour out my troubles like a pathetic woman.”

Compared to before, she seemed much better now that she was speaking normally.

As much as she had improved, she seemed to have gotten worse in other ways… but when dialogue is possible, there are many more options than when it’s not.

“You don’t know this, but Subin has weaknesses too. For one, she’s terribly bad at cooking. What’s worse is that she firmly believes she can do it well if she just practices enough.”

“Hmm?”

“Not just Subin, but Seyeon, Yuri, and I all have weaknesses. Who in the world is perfect?”

I try to lighten the mood first.

“I heard that even soldiers who are deployed for long periods come back with PTSD. These soldiers are the elite among regular soldiers. Even such elite soldiers suffer from PTSD for months, years, maybe even a lifetime.”

“That’s…”

“In Soyu is a pathetic woman? Is there any need to label 99.9% of all humans as pathetic?”

Our eyes met. Seeing that she was about to avoid my gaze again, I continued speaking.

“Time. And warm attention that’s not overbearing. I think these two things are needed for your wounds to heal. Even then, they won’t completely disappear. Scars will remain.”

Being there when it hurts.

That’s all I can do for her.

“I’ll take it all. Get irritated, resent me, vent your anger. You have the right to do that to me.”

“…I’m not that bad of a woman, you know.”

Good.

Noona is starting to escape from the swamp of negative emotions.

I deliberately exaggerated my laugh.

“If you’re a bad woman, then 99.9% of all women in the world are bad women?”

“You’re exaggerating. A playboy with three girlfriends really has no shame.”

“Ouch. That hurts.”

Noona smiled very slightly at my exaggerated reaction to the pain.

“I won’t force you to talk about what’s difficult. Just do it when you want to. Not just me, but all the other raid members will be there for you.”

“…”

The counseling and comfort ends here.

There’s been some progress, and it’s not good to push too much at once.

“Whew, it’s getting chilly. I should go cuddle with Danya and get some sleep.”

“You must really like cats.”

“Of course. Dogs are cute too, but cats are on another level. Plus, Danya’s body temperature is high and she’s soft, so she’s perfect for cuddling when sleeping.”

I told noona, who was no longer avoiding my gaze, to get some sleep too, and then trudged back to the tent.

………..

“Hah… Ban Sunghyun, you really are something else…”

**

Back to the present, breakfast time.

Since I, the chef of Veritas, was having difficulty moving, I managed to prepare breakfast by thoroughly exploiting my all-purpose assistant, Seon Seyeon.

Actually, we could have just plated the things we bought in Ayord, but this was the first meal with Yehyun-ssi. I wanted to show some effort.

‘Wow. They all look terrible.’

Except for Seyeon and Yehyun-ssi, the rest looked like zombies sitting there creaking. None of them had the energy to maintain appearances or dignity, and tears welled up in my eyes seeing them drooling on their clothes or faces as they ate.

“Oppa. Feed me. I can’t move my arms.”

“Show-off.”

“Aang.”

Yehyun-ssi was shocked seeing us like this.

I had explained the relationships within our raid team, but witnessing firsthand what could easily be mistaken for displays of affection from a third-party perspective was apparently a different story.

Anyway, fortunately, Subin was being fed by Soyu noona. She was blushing, seemingly embarrassed at having to be fed, which was cute, but fearing the consequences, I quietly ate my soup.

After the visually not-so-beautiful breakfast time ended, we gathered around the campfire we had kept burning and stared blankly at the flames.

“Yehyun-ssi.”

“Call me comfortably too! Being called Yehyun-ssi makes me feel so distant from everyone! Haha…”

“Then, Yehyun noona.”

“Heuk.”

“Noona?”

“Ah, it’s nothing. Yeah. So what is it?”

Why. What. Why.

Yehyun noona was the one who suddenly made a strange sound, but why is she glaring at me?

Especially Soyu noona, who’s glaring intensely.

Anyway.

I was planning to make a proposal to Yehyun noona.

“I want to apologize in advance if this is extremely rude to ask someone who has reached the top of the tower as a spirit master.”

“What are you going to say that you’re scaring me from the start?”

“Normally, I wouldn’t touch on anyone’s abilities or skills. We’re not newbies, and everyone knows how to learn and practice on their own.”

But now it’s urgent.

I couldn’t wait for Yehyun noona to contract with spirits, bond with them, and learn to efficiently draw on their power. I couldn’t even predict how long that would take.

“Yeah. So?”

“About spirit contracts.”

I took out a spirit stone from my inventory, handed it to Yehyun noona, and asked:

“Forced contract. Can you do it?”

Yehyun noona’s smiling face suddenly froze.