Ch.94Epilogue – Struggle, STL! (6)

The invitation from the Imperial Palace arrived for Eshtiel early in the morning.

“Huh?”

Eshtiel was slightly surprised. She had expected the invitation to be from the Empress, but the sender was Tesser instead.

“Why would Brother Tesser…”

This was the same Tesser who had so coldly rejected a girl who expressed her affection. It was absurd that he would send a lunch invitation first thing the next morning.

At first, she was merely puzzled, but the more she thought about it, the angrier she became.

It made her feel insignificant, as if her confession was just a trivial incident that would be quickly forgotten from his memory.

“I can’t even refuse this…”

A dark cloud passed over Eshtiel’s face. Though it wasn’t in her nature, she felt pity for herself.

She resented herself for not being able to crumple up Tesser’s letter that had been sent so casually.

She should rightfully be angry at his attitude of seemingly forgetting everything overnight, yet she found herself pathetically excited at the thought of talking with him.

“Tesser is truly a terrible person.”

“Indeed, my lady,” Tesha agreed, watching Eshtiel’s expression carefully.

She couldn’t understand what love was, that it would make her mistress have expectations in such a situation.

“What will you do?”

“What can I do? I have no choice but to go.”

“I suppose so.”

Eshtiel sat down at her spacious vanity with a resigned attitude. Tesha naturally approached her side and picked up a comb.

“Tesha, make me look prettier than usual today.”

“You don’t need to, my lady. Every day is a day you renew your beauty.”

“What a joke…”

Eshtiel brushed it off as a jest, but Tesha was sincere. She was confident that when Eshtiel passed twenty and her beauty fully blossomed, the nobles of the empire would regret their actions.

Just once.

If only they had the courage to speak to her just once… they would surely regret it.

‘The Crown Prince is a fool too. Not realizing what a blessing it is to have claimed our lady first.’

He had the talent for rejecting good fortune that rolled his way. At least, that’s how Tesha assessed him.

“Was there anything else written in the letter?”

“No. There were the usual formalities, but it just said to have lunch together.”

“That’s terrible…”

“Yes, it is. So I’m going to go and complain a lot.”

“Will you be alright?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

Eshtiel laughed with detachment. That laugh made Tesha feel uneasy.

“If he doesn’t like me, I can fix my flaws until he does. If he doesn’t see me as a romantic interest, I can develop my strengths further. If the environment is the problem, I can somehow escape it. But… if he already has someone in his heart, there’s nothing I can do.”

“My lady…”

“I know. Honestly, if I wanted to… it would be nothing to make that nameless lady step aside. But I can’t do that. Even in this situation… I don’t want to show an ugly side to Brother Tesser.”

“…”

Tesha kept her mouth shut at Eshtiel’s tearful resolution. Beyond that, she felt resentful toward Tesser for monopolizing such excessive love.

Eshtiel’s shocking statement came right after.

“After this lunch, I should go to the north.”

“What…?”

“I have no reason to stay in the capital anymore. I’ll have to withdraw from the military police matter, though I apologize to Her Majesty the Empress. Given the circumstances, she’ll understand.”

“Well… I suppose so…”

“If I stay in the north… spending time occasionally with Brother Rahilt or Sister Serin, I’ll be able to forget quickly, right?”

“Hmm…”

Tesha felt unbearably sorry for Eshtiel, who asked so wistfully. She even wanted to stop fixing her hair and give her a tight hug.

“You still have plenty of time ahead of you, my lady.”

“Do I?”

“Of course. And sometimes hearts get crushed under the weight of heavy years.”

“I see…”

At that moment, Eshtiel’s lips twisted slightly.

‘That… might be a bit unpleasant.’

Some might condemn her as foolish. Even looking at herself objectively, the word “stubborn” seemed quite fitting.

But despite that, she didn’t want to easily disturb these feelings of deep affection she had developed for someone.

It was a perfect contradiction for her, who had once hoped that going north would help her forget him.

‘My heart aches…’

Whether forgetting or not forgetting, either way, just imagining it felt like needles pricking her heart.

Tesha, looking at her beautifully adorned lady, instead of exclaiming in admiration, massaged her drooping small shoulders to encourage her.

The time to board the carriage heading to the Imperial Palace was approaching moment by moment.

◇

“You came early, Eshtiel.”

“I did.”

Her voice was strangely cold. Normally, she would have waved enthusiastically and greeted him warmly.

Tesser shrank a little at this unfamiliar attitude from the start. However, he recovered in an instant and naturally extended his hand to escort her.

Eshtiel stared at Tesser’s hand intently before reluctantly accepting his escort.

‘I can’t embarrass Brother Tesser…’

How foolish.

While making excuses about not wanting to embarrass him, her heart was pounding at his touch. It was such a stimulating heartbeat that she felt she could never forget him even if she fled to the north.

While Eshtiel concealed all those emotions in silence, Tesser struggled to hide his anxious heart.

‘She’s angrier than I imagined… Eshtiel.’

He had never witnessed such a quiet Eshtiel before.

Of course, that was natural.

Having blocked her affection with a flimsy excuse, it was impossible to face her directly less than a day later.

Yet calling Eshtiel to the Imperial Palace like this was undoubtedly rude.

‘What on earth have I done…!’

Realizations always come a step too late. And late realizations become fatal daggers that pierce deeply into the heart. That was exactly Tesser’s current state.

He didn’t want to admit it.

He had convinced himself that it was nonsensical to genuinely like Eshtiel, whom he had regarded as a little sister for a long time.

Eshtiel had always been young, and Tesser had always been relatively adult.

Therefore, he thought the moment of liking Eshtiel would never come.

But Tesser’s premise had been wrong for quite some time.

From long ago, Eshtiel had been a pure, white light.

A ray of light that shone upon him when he was wandering without recognition.

She was the child who first made him feel special.

It was impossible not to be drawn to such an Eshtiel.

However, hidden behind the words he repeated like self-hypnosis, he couldn’t notice the rest.

Eshtiel, very young and the sister of someone he admired. He presumed he could never like her romantically.

How foolish…

“…”

“…”

The two, walking around until lunch was prepared, didn’t easily open their mouths.

They were busy thinking about what topic to bring up and how.

He couldn’t let Eshtiel speak first. With that thought, Tesser opened the conversation.

“Eshtiel.”

“… Yes.”

“Thank you for accepting my invitation. If you had refused, I would have had nothing to say.”

“It’s… not a big deal.”

“I see.”

At this moment, Eshtiel was reproaching herself in her heart.

Answer more warmly, act more like usual. She was imposing unreasonable demands on herself.

But human emotions cannot be controlled by will alone.

“If you had refused, I would have come to find you.”

“What?”

“Then I might have been turned away at the door for being rude, even as the Crown Prince.”

“N-not to that extent…”

“That’s a relief.”

Tesser raised a faint smile. At that unfamiliar face, Eshtiel’s frozen facial muscles began to melt like ice facing the spring breeze.

“But why…?”

Eshtiel asked.

It was hard to imagine why Tesser would unilaterally come to find her. To Eshtiel, who was tilting her head in confusion, Tesser boldly revealed:

“Because I needed to apologize.”

“Apologize…”

Eshtiel’s head dropped to the ground.

“When you think about it, Brother Tesser has nothing to apologize for… I was the one who misunderstood and… yes, unnecessarily… bothered you… such things aren’t…”

“No.”

Tesser directly denied Eshtiel’s self-deprecating rambling.

“First, let me make it clear that I have never once found you bothersome.”

“… Huh?”

“Well, sure, I’ve been flustered many times… but I’ve absolutely never felt that you were a bother.”

“…”

What could be his purpose in explaining this now?

Eshtiel became even more afraid.

She feared the moment when the budding expectations would be mercilessly trampled.

Before Eshtiel’s inner thoughts could be revealed, Tesser opened his mouth.

“So I want to convey this clearly.”

Tesser released the arm he was escorting and stood directly in front of Eshtiel.

Then, completely setting aside his dignity as Crown Prince, Tesser bowed his waist and offered an apology to Eshtiel.

“I’m sorry.”