Ch.93Chapter 16. Intimacy (2)

Lying in her room after returning to the building, Ju-a pondered for a moment.

As Jieun had said, Ju-a’s reaction was different from her usual self.

It wasn’t that she hadn’t shown similar reactions to other colleagues.

Strangely enough, Rose seemed to think Ju-a’s personality was fun to tease, so she would occasionally provoke her and make her annoyed. That had gradually decreased over time, and eventually they were able to get along well enough.

But that felt different from what she experienced when hearing Jieun’s words.

Jieun’s words weren’t about knowing Ju-a’s weaknesses and gently scratching at them. Rather, they were more straightforward, like casually throwing out comments without knowing anything.

And strangely, there was no malice felt in those words.

Looking back, when Jieun had said such things during combat situations, it was simply to create an opening in the opponent.

In terms of combat ability, regular combatants were overwhelmingly inferior, and naturally, to win—or rather, to inflict damage—they needed to create openings somehow.

It was also useful when retreating.

So it’s hard to say there was any malice in it. Besides, at that time, Iris was properly wearing her underpants, unlike Jieun from not too long ago.

Then, what about now?

If she teased during normal times, what did that mean? Judging by her expression, it didn’t seem to be “literal.” Perhaps it was her own way of showing closeness. Though Ju-a didn’t know how Jieun had come to consider her “close.”

“Ju-a.”

With not much to do and it being too early to sleep, Ju-a was lying on the vinyl floor lost in thought when Hayun called out to her.

Getting up to look at Hayun, she saw that Hayun was looking at her with a truly serious expression.

That expression made her a bit tense. Hayun only made such a face when the situation was truly serious.

There was no one else nearby. Well, not exactly no one. It’s just that the only personal space here was Jieun’s tent, so if anyone wanted time alone, they would just keep a suitable distance.

Fortunately, the space itself was quite large. Perhaps the person who lived here had lived alone, as the house itself had a structure of “one large room.”

Rose was stretching in the corner of the room.

Dalia was deeply contemplating the results of her cultivation, and Delphinium was writing something in tiny letters in a book.

James and Cherry seemed to be inside the tent. Though she hadn’t confirmed it exactly, Jieun’s bag supposedly contained many different items. They might be looking for parts in there.

Jieun… She had returned with them just now, but she hadn’t come straight back to the house. She said she wanted to get some fresh air before coming back. It seemed she had only come this far because she was worried Hayun might be concerned.

A magical girl’s physical abilities are naturally better than an ordinary person’s, and their hearing is also good. If they talked here, everyone would end up hearing, but… it was probably something that wouldn’t matter if others heard.

“Yes, go ahead.”

As Ju-a straightened her posture and spoke with a serious expression, Hayun nodded.

“Just now, you were with Jieun.”

Ju-a thought it was fortunate that Jieun wasn’t here.

If she were, Hayun might not have been able to bring up this conversation.

Perhaps it was about redefining the concept of magical girls. Though the future was still uncertain, there wasn’t a better method than what they had planned so far.

It would be important to listen carefully to what Hayun, who was essentially in the leader position, had to say.

But the question that followed was confusing to Ju-a, who had been concentrating with such thoughts.

“Did she not talk about me?”

“Pardon?”

“I mean, I was wondering if the reason she was there might have been because of me.”

“…”

Ju-a tried to infer the meaning behind those words.

The result came surprisingly quickly.

So they did fight.

They fought, and Jieun ran away to that place, and that’s why Hayun was asking about it now.

What should she do in this situation?

Ju-a didn’t know how to mediate between two other people. From the beginning, within the magical girl group, Ju-a was one of those who fought, not one who mediated.

It wasn’t good for Hayun and Jieun to be fighting in the current situation, but if the only mediator was one of the parties involved in the fight, what words could resolve it?

Ju-a didn’t even know much about Jieun.

And about Hayun—

“…”

“Then, it’s not because of me, right?”

No, it probably is because of Hayun. Even Ju-a, who didn’t have much interest in interpersonal relationships, could tell that much.

But… she didn’t remember seeing them fight that badly. People don’t always need to raise their voices to fight, and since the two of them were often alone in places where other girls couldn’t see, they might have fought without her knowing.

“…Yes, I think so.”

That’s what Ju-a said.

She might not know how to mediate, but at least she shouldn’t encourage their fight.

Besides, both Jieun and Hayun didn’t seem to want to reveal that they had fought, so Ju-a decided to pretend she didn’t know.

Looking at Hayun, who was sighing in relief, Ju-a felt a bit puzzled.

“Hayun.”

“Yes?”

When Ju-a called her name, Hayun looked at her with a face that seemed more relaxed than before.

But Hayun quickly lost her composure again at Ju-a’s next question.

“Do you like Jieun?”

“Li-? Li-li-li-like…!?”

Breaking up the pronunciation into such short syllables didn’t seem like a good idea.

Of course, Hayun’s reaction to Ju-a’s single question was literally one of panic, and since Ju-a could tell what word would follow, she didn’t bother pointing it out and making her more embarrassed.

“What do you mean, ‘like’!?”

Hayun finally finished her sentence.

That sound would surely have been heard by Jieun outside the vinyl door, but again, Ju-a decided to completely ignore that fact.

“Why are you so flustered? Is it something that shouldn’t be known, that you like her?”

“Whether liking someone should be known or not, of course— Oh.”

Hayun was answering but suddenly realized something and froze.

While Ju-a was tilting her head in confusion,

“That’s right. What reason could there be for not liking someone?”

Rose, who had approached without notice, asked with a very sly expression.

“It’s just something friends can say to each other, right?”

“Ah, ah, ah, no, that, certainly, the meaning is correct? But doesn’t the nuance seem a bit? strange?”

There are too many unnecessary question marks in between.

Ju-a’s head tilted in a different direction.

“Th-then, Ju-a, what about you?”

Hayun turned the question back to her.

Ju-a thought this was a strange way to avoid the question.

“What do you mean?”

“You’re friends, right? As a friend, what do you think of Jieun? If I asked whether you like her or dislike her, which would it be?”

“…”

Ju-a felt somewhat dumbfounded by that question.

“Are we close enough to be called friends?”

“Not… close enough to be called friends?”

Ju-a felt a bit confused by the latter question.

That’s… hard to say.

To begin with, she wasn’t sure exactly what a friend was. Was it someone your parents hinted would be good to associate with? Was it someone who subtly probed about your parents while talking?

Was it someone who knew a lot about each other?

“…”

That seemed right, but a bit different.

Then what about the magical girls?

Hayun could be called a friend. Even if they weren’t close enough to meet by appointment to hang out, they would engage in trivial conversations without any particular reason when they were in the same place.

The same went for the other magical girls. Even if they weren’t as “close” as Hayun, they were in the same group, taking risks together. It wasn’t even a situation forced by money or something, so if one were to call them friends, they could be called friends.

Then, what about Jieun?

She thought she had come to know quite a bit about Jieun. It wasn’t that she knew everything accurately, nor did she fully know about her personal history, but at least she knew about her identity and fighting style.

They had even moved together, risking their lives.

There hadn’t been a clear contract like “Let’s be friends,” but the thought that they might be called friends belatedly occurred to her.

“…Indeed, if we’re talking about friends, I suppose we could be.”

“Right? Isn’t that so? Then, how do you feel? Do you like her? Dislike her?”

“Of course I li… li…”

Huh?

If they were friends, when viewed in the dichotomy of “like or dislike,” the word “like” should come out. After all, one couldn’t call someone they didn’t like a friend.

But when actually asked if she liked her, she couldn’t outright say she liked her.

Somehow, the act of saying so felt like it wasn’t a light matter.

It was strange.

Normally, Ju-a would have thought of the word in its dictionary meaning and spoken. Since she had a personality that hated losing, she wanted to win this argument too. If so, the right choice would be to say “I like her, don’t I?” with an indifferent expression.

But strangely enough, completing that sentence felt a bit difficult.

Could it be because of Hayun staring at her so intently right in front of her?

Was it because she thought the meaning of the word would be misinterpreted by Hayun, who strangely took the word “like” too seriously?

“…”

Seeing that Ju-a couldn’t give a proper answer, Hayun’s expression became a bit more serious. As if Ju-a’s reaction was a very serious one.

Friend.

Yes. In a way, Jieun’s position might be very appropriate as a dictionary-definition friend.

A relationship where they could casually say harsh words to each other without any barriers—that was something Ju-a had never had before.

Ju-a herself didn’t know why the two of them could speak so informally, but one thing was certain: she kind of liked Jieun’s attitude.

So… yes. She liked her.

Somehow, it felt like if she lost her, she would never have someone with that kind of relationship again.

Someone who didn’t care about Ju-a’s background when they met and talked, who didn’t care that she was a magical girl, and could casually say words like “sk-skirt” or “se-sexual harassment” without any hesitation—that could only be Jeong Jieun.

Ju-a took a slight breath.

So, perhaps the reason the word “like” didn’t come out immediately was because of the “dislikable aspects” she felt from Jieun.

She was a bit willful, didn’t care at all about Ju-a’s status, and didn’t move according to Ju-a’s thoughts. Looking at those aspects, she “didn’t like” her.

But, if she were to calculate the average after considering everything comprehensively—

Ju-a presented her organized thoughts.

“Yes, I like her.”

That was Ju-a’s answer.

*

Hayun momentarily stopped breathing when she heard Ju-a’s words.

She knew well that Ju-a didn’t say “I like her” with “that meaning.” Of course. That would be… strange.

But even so, the weight of that answer, which came after serious contemplation and with a serious expression, didn’t feel light at all.

It didn’t seem like a simple feeling of affection.

No, rather—

The very fact that she could openly say “I like her” like that felt a bit strange.

Even Hayun, who had spent so much time together, walked together, went out to play here and there, and literally been “the closest friend in the world,” couldn’t say “I like her.”

It wasn’t because she disliked her, of course. It wasn’t just because she was shy either.

Rather, perhaps the weight Hayun placed on the words “I like you” was a bit different.

She wanted to ask all the other girls right away.

If they all said “I like her,” then Hayun could feel at ease too.

However.

“Hayun isn’t answering.”

Ju-a asked with that same serious face.

That made her a bit anxious.

“I, li…”

Rose looked at Hayun with a somewhat sly expression.

Even the two girls who had been far away were now staring at Hayun. Fortunately, Cherry and James hadn’t come out of the tent.

“Li…”

I like her.

If she didn’t like her, she wouldn’t have happily thought of entering that small tent. No, rather, she liked that it was a small place for the two of them. When they were both inside, they could enjoy that time without being disturbed by others.

When she put her arms around Jieun’s waist and hugged her, she felt at ease in that warmth.

Because she was afraid Jieun might go far away. Because she was scared that if she didn’t keep her in sight, she might suddenly disappear somewhere, just like before.

So, Hayun tried to stay by Jieun’s side continuously.

Jieun allowed it. That made her happy. If she asked Jieun, would she answer that she “liked” Hayun?

She knew that the meaning of those words wasn’t meant for someone more than a friend. Of course. They had been friends since childhood.

Hayun had thought so too until just recently. Until she thought she could continue to be with Jieun.

Since when?

Not when she became aware of it, but when had she been thinking like this?

Perhaps it’s strange to try to separate it as “since when.”

From too long ago.

Whenever Hayun was having a hard time, whenever she wanted to give up everything, whenever she was tired—

Jieun would be by her side at some point. Without being called, without being expressed in words, Jieun was by Hayun’s side.

How could one not think of such a being as lovable?

Those little moments accumulated over a lifetime. Jieun was reflected in each of those sparkling memories dotted throughout. How could Hayun remove the person “Jeong Jieun” from her life?

If someone heard— yes, if Hayun’s parents heard, they might say it’s too hasty a judgment. They would definitely say so.

That life is long, and Hayun has lived too little, so she doesn’t know what’s ahead yet.

That if she lives more, good days will come.

The reason she had to study hard, had to participate in competitions, had to get one more award, had to apply to be a magical girl.

All of it was for the future, they’d say. So there might be someone she likes more, and it doesn’t necessarily have to be a woman.

…When?

When exactly?

Hayun had never experienced that “future.”

She didn’t even know what that “better” thing was.

She only knew how to distinguish the “most precious being” among what was in front of her.

Rather, that’s why she was more afraid.

What if she couldn’t find a more precious being in that uncertain future?

What if the being she lost forever was actually the most valuable one she could have had? To begin with, Hayun didn’t need to give up.

Hayun was a magical girl, and she had a future.

And the reason Hayun could not give up midway was precisely because of Jieun.

If all those small memories densely embedded in Hayun’s life memories were erased, there would only be a desolate and black night sky with no stars or moon.

They said a magical girl’s wand was what that person considered most important. There was someone like Ju-a who used a somewhat unusual wand, but Hayun still believed in that fact.

Because the “wand” in Hayun’s hand when she saw hope was given by Jieun.

She didn’t know how it would be in other possibilities.

But the “hope” Hayun currently had was all tied to Jieun.

Tearing Jieun away from Hayun’s life would be no different from tearing hope away from Hayun.

So, she liked her.

Not just as a feeling of affection, but in the true sense, she liked her.

Enough to want to see her forever, for the rest of her life, she liked her.

The weight of those words “I like you” was so heavy that she couldn’t casually say them.

“I, li…!”

“…Fuck?”

Just as Hayun was trying to get those words out somehow.

Jieun’s voice was heard.

Creeeeak.

Like a poorly oiled automaton, she barely turned her head to look in that direction, and there was Jieun, just entering through the vinyl door.

She was looking at Hayun with an incredibly bewildered expression.

“…”

Psssssh.

Though no such sound was actually heard, Hayun sank perfectly, as if everyone had hallucinated hearing such a sound.

“What? What were you talking about?”

At the sound of Jieun speaking, Hayun lay face down on the floor and curled up.

“Pfft, bwahahahaha!”

Rose burst into laughter, as if she had grasped the situation.

For some reason, Ju-a had been blushing since earlier.

Dalia and Delphinium were keeping their distance and not coming closer.

“…What’s going on here?”

Only Jieun, who had entered the room too late, was muttering in a dejected voice.