Ch.92To You (1)

“Actually, I know about your relationship with the knight.”

“…What?”

“You two like each other, don’t you?”

Irene’s eyes widened involuntarily at those words.

She had thought no one in the duke’s mansion would know. Yet Rofena knew about it.

Seeing Irene’s expression that clearly revealed her confusion and surprise, Rofena sighed deeply as she looked at her lady.

In truth, saying this now might be a bit late.

Knowing that the two had already progressed quite far in their relationship,

her advice might not be of much use anymore.

But knowing her lady… she would surely be led around by the knight.

Even those embarrassing sounds she had heard before were ultimately sounds of her lady being dominated one-sidedly.

Recalling that memory, Rofena’s face reddened slightly as she stared at Irene.

She had tried to hide the rumors, but those who needed to know already knew.

The fact that the lady and her knight escort had that kind of relationship was a truth known to everyone in the duke’s mansion,

and Rofena’s wish was for the two of them to be happy together now that the engagement was broken off.

‘…Preferably with the lady taking the lead.’

She didn’t know everything about Evan Fried, the knight,

but she knew enough from the rumors she had heard.

Naturally, he was popular, and marriage proposals came in so frequently that her lady had to burn letters every day.

Rofena recalled that people who were used to such attention often became arrogant.

Though he didn’t seem like that kind of person, there was always a possibility.

After taking a moment to gather herself, Rofena carefully opened her mouth toward Irene.

“My lady.”

“Y-yes?”

She was visibly flustered, had been since hearing that Rofena knew about their relationship.

Seeing Irene like this, Rofena felt anxious about what was to come.

How could someone who was so embarrassed about being caught like this take the lead in a relationship?

She would surely be led around, manipulated at will.

Rofena’s clenched fist trembled.

The knight was fine, and so was her lady, but her top priority was still her lady.

Would the lady truly be the knight’s first love? Rofena shook her head.

That couldn’t be possible. He must have met many women without her knowledge.

So to just let him do whatever he wanted with her pure lady…

“That cannot happen.”

When Rofena spoke firmly and looked at her,

Irene found herself nodding without even realizing it.

“That cannot happen”—she didn’t know what Rofena was thinking, but somehow she felt she should follow those words.

“I’m an expert in this area. I’ve never dated myself, but many of my friends have dated a lot of men.”

“…So?”

“My lady, romance isn’t, you know, as innocent as you think. Maybe at first, but at some point, it becomes like a tug-of-war for control.”

“Tug-of-war…”

Recalling Evan’s face for a moment, Irene nodded in agreement.

Indeed, wasn’t she always being led around by Evan?

Embracing the word “tug-of-war” in her heart, Irene looked at Rofena.

She had always thought Rofena was a naive girl… but now it seemed like her advice in this area might be quite valuable.

As Irene’s expression grew serious, an excited Rofena began sharing various stories she had heard from her friends.

In truth, most of them were greatly exaggerated tales of things that rarely happened,

but Irene, who knew nothing, listened with her mouth slightly open.

She realized that what she had done so far was nothing.

She had thought that kissing and intertwining tongues was already significant, and knew nothing of what came after.

The stories Rofena told opened up a new world to Irene in many ways.

Not just holding hands, kissing, and whispering sweet nothings in each other’s ears…

But lying in bed—

“Ugh…”

Just imagining it made her face burn hot, and Irene covered her face with both hands.

They hadn’t even properly confessed to each other yet—was such a process really necessary?

Rofena looked at Irene as if she were pathetic.

Hadn’t they already done everything together? Why be so embarrassed?

But since asking about that would be awkward, Rofena added that there was no need to rush.

“You don’t have to do all that. Just make sure the knight can’t break free from you.”

“How?”

When Irene asked, Rofena grinned and grabbed Irene’s wrist.

“First, let’s make some porridge.”

#

When she first heard Rofena’s advice, Irene thought it was quite plausible.

With the complete collapse of the Roman family, her relationship with Evan had changed.

Wasn’t it time to finally define it? She felt it was time to move beyond this ambiguous relationship that was neither clearly romantic nor not.

-Absolutely, you must not say you like him first.

But what could she do when Rofena said so? In fact, all Rofena had taught her was to make porridge and bring it to him.

Although she was disappointed she couldn’t feed him directly, when Evan said it was fine, Irene barely managed to stop her lips from curling up into a smile.

Carefully controlling her expression, she slowly observed Evan’s complexion.

After the Roman subjugation, what Irene cared about most was Evan’s condition.

Health aside, he was someone who had died and come back to life.

What if he was pretending to be fine on the outside but suffering when she wasn’t aware?

She had some idea why Evan had been trying to go out frequently lately,

and Irene was just as frustrated.

It had been a week since she started feeling her heart drop every time Evan touched his chest.

She wanted to let him go out, but after seeing how Evan had been, she couldn’t easily let him outside.

In her heart, she wanted to lock him away somewhere only she knew about,

but how could she do that to Evan?

Seeing the dark circles under Evan’s eyes—though it was really just slightly deeper shadows—Irene felt a pang in her heart.

She had received a letter saying the Emperor might want to see Evan.

But if she sent Evan to such a meeting and the Emperor pushed him too hard, wouldn’t his condition worsen?

She planned to keep him inside with various excuses until he fully recovered.

And what confirmed this decision was what Evan said next.

“I just can’t sleep well. I think it might be because of the fight with Biltain.”

She had heard that knights who experienced major battles sometimes suffered from nightmares.

Recalling that what they needed at such times was peace of mind,

to be reassured that such things were now in the past, Irene quietly looked at Evan and thought.

‘Would it be alright… to help him sleep?’

And so, without much thought, Irene lay down on Evan’s bed, only realizing what had gone wrong after some time had passed.

The warmth from the bed, Evan sitting beside her staring intently,

and her own body lying completely defenseless on the bed.

When these three elements came together appropriately, Irene completely forgot her initial resolve and could only feel embarrassed.

She tapped the bed while burying her face completely in the pillow,

partly intoxicated by Evan’s scent coming from the pillow, barely holding onto her senses.

She had only been trying to imitate what her mother used to do when putting her to sleep as a child.

But now in this situation, she couldn’t bear the shame, so Irene tightly pressed her lips together and squeezed her eyes shut.

She couldn’t predict how Evan would react if she got up now. Would he be disappointed?

The things Rofena had told her were effectively tormenting Irene’s mind.

Worlds that Irene had not known before,

stories of more intimate relationships between lovers made Irene’s eyes wander aimlessly.

“…My lady.”

Evan let out a small laugh at the sight of Irene.

Did she realize how embarrassing her actions were?

She seemed to be suppressing the urge to squirm, which suggested she had acted without thinking.

Looking at Irene lying on the bed, various thoughts crossed his mind. He felt the impulse to just pounce on her.

Or perhaps he should act serious and tease her about what she was doing.

But she seemed too embarrassed for that.

Seeing her hide her face in his pillow made him feel strangely awkward.

Though he washed it frequently, it was still… the pillow he slept on.

After briefly fidgeting with the bedsheet, Evan took a deep breath and lay down next to Irene.

“Since you told me to lie down, I will.”

“E-Evan?”

As soon as he lay down, a scent hit his nose, and Evan squeezed his eyes shut.

He wanted to embrace Irene lying next to him,

but he knew this was a time for patience.

Suppressing his desire, he held Irene’s hand and slowly opened his mouth.

“…This does make me feel a bit more at ease.”

Strangely, having Irene beside him seemed to calm his mind.

Lying down, he no longer saw flashes of the battle with Biltain or Irene’s tearful face as she watched his heart being pierced.

Evan looked at Irene lying beside him and smiled faintly.

“It’s different like this, isn’t it? Seeing each other’s lying faces… it’s the first time for both of us.”

“…Don’t look.”

As Irene covered her face with both hands, Evan turned to his side and gently removed her hands.

Despite her face being flushed red, the pale neckline visible through her thin hair was clearly exposed.

The curves of her chest visible through the low-cut dress—Evan deliberately turned his gaze away and covered Irene’s chest with the blanket as he spoke.

“Are you trying to seduce me?”

“That’s not it, Evan…!”

“Lying on my bed like this, asking me to lie beside you. I’m not sure how I should interpret this.”

Irene frowned at Evan’s face as he tilted his head with a feigned expression of ignorance.

Wasn’t he doing this knowingly? She thought about hitting his chest but,

seeing the bandages wrapped around it, she lowered her slightly raised hand and buried her face in the pillow again.

“If you don’t plan to do anything, I’ll go to sleep now.”

“I-I won’t do anything.”

“And here I thought you were going to make me lie down and do this and that.”

At those words, Irene blushed and her lips quivered.

In truth, she had thought of various things… but hearing Evan say it made her feel like he had read her mind.

If only she could quietly fall asleep,

but Evan’s words beside her were shaking her heart, and Irene couldn’t find a moment to gather her thoughts.

Resting his chin on his hand as he watched Irene, Evan looked at her reddened ears and chuckled.

How long had it been since he’d seen her like this? Lately, Irene had become insensitive to various things,

so seeing her embarrassed like this made him feel strangely good.

He turned and lay down again, seeing the white ceiling.

The red sunset light filtered through the gradually darkening window,

creating a subtle atmosphere in the room as it grew darker.

Perhaps because his mind was at ease, Evan noticed his eyelids growing heavy and moved his lips.

“…I’m lying down but I have no pillow. Since you’ve buried your face in it, I’ll have to rest my head on the hard bed.”

“You can take it.”

“That’s not what I mean.”

Turning to look at Irene again, Evan tapped one of her arms and continued.

“I’d like you to let me use your arm as a pillow.”

“Your… arm?”

“Yes. If you do that, I think I could sleep soundly.”

Irene looked at Evan’s face and fidgeted with her lips.

An arm pillow… it wasn’t much to ask, but hadn’t quite a bit of time passed already?

She didn’t know how long it would take for Evan to fall asleep,

and if she stayed here until nightfall, who knew what rumors might spread.

As she hesitated with these thoughts, Evan looked at her, lowered his gaze slightly, and quietly sighed.

“…Is that not allowed?”

As if the world was crumbling. Seeing his quite disappointed expression, Irene bit her lip.

Maybe once would be fine. As for rumors, if she made Rofena keep quiet, it would probably be alright.

Watching Evan’s expression grow darker, Irene finally squeezed her eyes shut.

Extending her arm toward Evan, she turned her head slightly and spoke with difficulty.

“Lie down. I won’t do this again if not now. Hurry…”

Evan rested his head on Irene’s arm and quietly smiled.

Carefully using her arm as a pillow to avoid putting too much pressure on it, Evan looked at Irene.

Her attempt to avoid looking at him by directing her gaze elsewhere was cute,

so he stroked her cheek with the back of his hand and slowly closed his eyes.

His mind grew calm. The silence flowing through the room,

and the sound of each other’s breathing in between felt awkwardly close.

But because he liked that, Evan closed his eyes and surrendered to the approaching drowsiness.

Was it because Irene was beside him? Or simply because they were touching like this?

He couldn’t tell what was right, but one thing was certain:

Just being together like this brought peace to his mind.

With his eyes closed, Evan noticed Irene’s gaze turn toward him.

Despite her embarrassment, she slightly raised her elbow to brush his hair, making the corner of his mouth twitch.

Perhaps now he could sleep peacefully. Evan didn’t resist the approaching drowsiness,

and more comfortably than ever, he fell into a sleep he hadn’t enjoyed for quite some time.

“…Evan?”

After a while, realizing Evan’s breathing had grown shallow, Irene carefully spoke.

Could he have fallen asleep? He seemed awake just a moment ago,

but seeing Evan now asleep, Irene let out a small laugh.

She had occasionally heard in the duke’s mansion that Evan had nightmares.

But now he was sleeping peacefully, perhaps thanks to her offering her arm.

As she stroked Evan’s hair, slightly damp with sweat, Irene slowly examined his face.

This was the first time she was watching him sleep, wasn’t it?

She could only see by the faint candlelight, but that seemed enough.

His lips, cheeks, closed eyes—Irene touched them lightly, and Evan didn’t wake up.

After watching him for a moment, she leaned down slightly and placed a small kiss on his forehead.

Irene smiled slightly at the fact that she now had a memory only she knew, one Evan was unaware of.

It was somewhat novel that the person who always teased her was now so defenseless,

and the fact that such a person was lying beside her made Irene’s heart race.

She never imagined she would harbor such feelings…

Carefully lying back down beside Evan so as not to wake him, Irene looked at the ceiling.

Staring at the ceiling that Evan would always have looked at while lying down.

Recalling the voice she had once heard by her ear as she slept, she quietly murmured.

“…Sleep well.”

In dreams, at least, may you rest peacefully.

Perhaps the voice she had heard then was Evan’s.

With that thought, Irene too slowly closed her eyes.