Ch.91Awakening (1)

    After a long journey, I finally saw the Praester Family’s Territory in the distance.

    There really is no place like home. The anxiety that had been weighing on me throughout the journey seemed to ease a bit.

    Right. There’s no need to rush. I have about a month until I reunite with the twins.

    Of course, everything still feels uncertain. I don’t know how much will change with the passing of time.

    I have no intention of accepting them… and knowing the twins’ stubbornness, I doubt their feelings toward me will waver either.

    Asena says she’s liked me since childhood. The depth of her feelings is something I can’t fully comprehend.

    Sometimes when they showed me so much affection… I thought I was blessed… but behind it all was a feeling that crossed the line of family.

    When I think about this, my mind becomes confused.

    Does that mean all their expressions of affection were just ways to fulfill their desires?

    Their eagerness for kisses. Kirsy secretly slipping into my bed. Asena finding me and hugging me with our bellies touching.

    Were all these actions because they saw me as a man?

    Logically, it would be natural to assume so.

    I had no idea. I thought they were seeking family love from me.

    I thought they were yearning for the love they couldn’t get from their parents.

    “……”

    Asena’s words came to mind.

    That she never thought of me as her brother.

    That we wouldn’t be strangers if we just removed “Praester” from my name.

    Even if what she said wasn’t wrong… I only saw them as my sisters.

    Of course, given our relationship… if they were my biological sisters, it wouldn’t have felt this way.

    I can’t deny that the twins are somewhat special to me.

    If they were my biological sisters, I might not have been considerate when they changed clothes. We wouldn’t have been embarrassed seeing each other’s bare skin. I wouldn’t have given them goodnight kisses, wouldn’t have smiled just seeing their faces, and wouldn’t have felt most comfortable being with them.

    The fact that the twins and I weren’t a typical sibling relationship was constantly reminded by our difference in status… so, although shocking, I could gradually accept what Asena said.

    That she never thought of me as her brother.

    I just feel regretful, frustrated, and troubled.

    “…Caden.”

    Riana’s hand gently touched my arm.

    “…Yes?”

    “Stop worrying now.”

    She patted me as she spoke. I must have looked tense while thinking about the twins.

    Feeling comforted by her consideration, I replied, “…Thank you.”

    “…I know this is hard for you. That’s why I decided to bring you here… take your time with your concerns. Eat delicious food and fill your stomach. Rest comfortably. Once your mind is clear, it won’t be too late to make a decision.”

    I looked at her with a small smile.

    Though she might have spoken casually, every word brought me great comfort.

    Truly, I don’t know how fortunate I am to have met her.

    In this society with strict social hierarchies, she treats me like her real grandson.

    Unlike her reputation for being charismatic, to me—no, to family—she is endlessly warm.

    She doesn’t discriminate between the twins, her biological grandchildren, and me. No, rather, I’m so grateful that she looks after me even before them.

    Since she’s the family’s influential figure, her actions greatly influenced the behavior of other family members, and because she cherished me so much, they treated me with great respect too.

    In truth, I wouldn’t have had anything to say if she resented me. If she had driven me out of the family for being a monster who captivated the twins, I couldn’t have objected. Even though I entered the family by her choice, the outcome wasn’t what she would have wanted.

    But instead, she worries about me. She even pulled me out of the Academy because she was concerned, and offers words of comfort when she sees my troubled expression.

    Everything moves me deeply.

    Actually… with all this happening with the twins, this was the most troubling part. I feel so sorry to Grandmother. Regardless of my feelings… thinking about how worried she must be makes my heart heavy.

    As a repayment for her love… it’s like I’ve eliminated the power that could have been cultivated through the twins’ marriages.

    Finally, I opened my arms and embraced her.

    Grandmother quietly laughed.

    “…Haha, Caden. It’s been a while since you’ve hugged this old woman.”

    “…Thank you.”

    Something welled up in my chest. But I didn’t show tears. Especially not in front of Grandmother. Even though I’m adopted… as the eldest son of the family, I have a duty to show strength.

    “What is our eldest son so thankful for?”

    “…Everything.”

    I’ve thought this before, but Grandmother really resembles Asena. Or should I say, Asena resembles Grandmother?

    From her embrace and the way she patted my back, I could feel she wanted more explanation.

    Tell her what you’re thankful for. Tell her how much you love her.

    That made me smile and feel a bit more at ease. The surge of emotion subsided.

    I finally added, “For treating me… like your real grandson.”

    “…Caden. Don’t say that. You are my grandson.”

    “…But we both know that’s not true. I don’t know my parents, but… thanks to you, I never felt that void. You love me with all your heart… and care for me. Even though you could favor the twins who are related by blood, you don’t.”

    “……Hehe.”

    At that moment, she laughed. She seemed pleased to hear words of love directly from me.

    She released the embrace and looked at my face.

    “Caden. Did you think this old woman was making empty promises?”

    “…What?”

    “The day I accepted you as my grandson. You became my grandson then. If I had intended to favor the twins and discriminate against you… I wouldn’t have said I’d accept you as my grandson in the first place.”

    “……..”

    “I try to keep the words I speak, no matter what.”

    At that moment, all the promises I had made came to mind.

    The promise to return to Daisy.

    The promise to meet Judy again.

    …And the promise I made to the twins.

    To be their strong support for life.

    I intend to keep the first two promises.

    But with so much changed now… can I keep the last one?

    Can I keep my word like Grandmother has kept hers?

    Even now, when I’ve taken the hearts of the twins, she still keeps her word.

    Even though a commoner has stolen the hearts of the Praester ladies… she still sees me as her grandson.

    Despite so many changes, she remains unwavering.

    Can I be like that too?

    I don’t know right now.

    …Because my mind hasn’t changed about leaving.

    “…Caden.”

    I had been lost in thought without realizing it. Grandmother’s voice pulled me back.

    She smiled and spoke again.

    “…We’ll worry later. For now, let’s rest. You’re home.”

    -Boooooooo… Boooooooo…..

    A deep horn sound came from ahead. It was the familiar sound of our family’s horn.

    I truly had come home.

    Suddenly, I realized that fact.

    Being separated from the twins was a first since I met them.

    ****

    Ten days had passed. Twenty days remained.

    After being sick for a day when Caden left, Asena acted as if nothing had happened from the next day.

    It wasn’t as easy as it sounded, but the mask she had worn all this time helped her greatly.

    Kirsy still wandered around looking depressed. Her friends tried to comfort her without knowing why she was sad.

    Of course, Kirsy would smile slightly and thank them each time, but Asena knew.

    It wasn’t helping her at all.

    Like herself, Kirsy needed Caden to feel better. And not just Caden, but Caden who accepted her.

    Without that, nothing would change much.

    On the sixth day after he left.

    A letter arrived.

    Until then, Asena had felt emotionally dead, unable to feel anything, but as soon as she saw the letter, she felt her heart pounding painfully.

    It beat roughly and strongly, as if making up for all the times it couldn’t beat before.

    Kirsy was the same. With trembling hands, she brought the letter and showed it to Asena.

    The Praester seal prominently stamped in the center.

    It was either from Grandmother… or brother.

    Praying desperately for the latter, Asena opened the letter.

    “….Ah.”

    And seeing the handwriting, a tear rolled down her cheek.

    It was Caden’s handwriting.

    There wasn’t much content.

    He had arrived safely.

    We need time.

    He hoped we would reconsider.

    He wanted us to be good siblings.

    Let’s meet at the territory.

    Reading these words in his tone and emotion, it felt as if she was conversing with him.

    It was as if his voice was echoing.

    Although some of his requests were impossible to grant… the heavy emotions that had been pressing on her seemed to lighten a bit.

    His calm tone must have played a part. Asena firmly believed he would still love her, but it was a thought that could be seen as stubborn, so she had been anxious deep down.

    It had been so painful when he appeared in her nightmares, repeatedly saying he didn’t love her.

    There was no sense of hatred in the letter he had prepared and sent. That was the most fortunate thing.

    From the next day, Asena and Kirsy began sending letters to him.

    Asena sent him two letters every day without fail, sharing her daily routine.

    Kirsy seemed to send even more… but Asena didn’t check specifically.

    Knowing it would be burdensome, she omitted words like “I love you” or “I miss you,” and just shared her day with him. She desperately wanted to write those words… but she endured with painful restraint.

    It was the first time Asena had sent so many letters to someone.

    She felt Caden’s absence so deeply.

    Since it was the first time they had been separated since she met him, she realized anew how essential he was to her.

    Did he know how painful this separation was for her?

    Since he said they would meet at the territory, she no longer worried about him leaving.

    At the very least… she would be able to see his face once. There was still a chance.

    But the more time passed, the firmer Asena’s resolve became.

    She couldn’t let him leave.

    Just being separated for a few days was this painful. Nothing made her smile. Nothing looked beautiful. No food tasted good.

    How could she spend a lifetime without him?

    After finishing her second letter of the day, Asena lay down on the bed.

    It didn’t matter if he didn’t read the letters.

    She liked the feeling of being connected to him.

    It would be nice if he sent even one reply…

    So far, she hadn’t been able to elicit any response from him.

    Asena took out the first letter Caden had sent.

    Yesterday it was with Kirsy, so today was her turn.

    Asena stroked his handwriting on the letter and thought of Caden.

    What might he be doing?

    What might he be eating?

    Even though he was rejecting her feelings… did he miss her?

    She closed her eyes.

    Before sending the letter, she needed to recover from her fatigue for a moment.


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