Ch.9030. That’s Why I’m Doing This.

“To be honest, I’m not sure if this is the right time to tell you this.”

…What is he plotting now?

While the Demon King was laying groundwork out of nowhere, Luiness returned.

I suspected she had gone to show her face to the children, to reassure them after the commotion outside. Whether she had medical knowledge or had examined his condition earlier, I wasn’t sure.

Luiness’s expression hardened as she examined Kariel’s body.

“How did you manage to move… in that condition?”

“……”

Full-body muscle pain was actually nothing.

In other words, his physical condition was that serious.

If he were fully aware of the pain, it would be hellish.

His consciousness would be consumed by agony, and he’d barely manage to curl up like a baby, struggling just to endure.

…Nevertheless, he endured.

Right now, it wasn’t about overcoming—the mere act of enduring held meaning.

“This should make you feel a bit better.”

Luiness reached out and placed her hand on his head.

A faint white light emanated from her hand.

His body did feel somewhat relieved.

“I can’t heal you with my skills, but I can at least ease your pain a little.”

“You’re dulling the sensation,” Ases remarked.

And separately from that—

-That ability of yours to peek into others’ memories and past—it’s a privileged power possessed by only a tiny minority even among High Elves. I’ve kept quiet about it until now because revealing it would make your life too easy in a different way… but we’re not in a position to hold back anymore.

“……”

Is he seriously bringing this up now…?

The Demon King had an exceptional talent for irritating people, to the point where it was difficult to control one’s emotions.

-Once you start relying on this, your approach to others will become more consistent. Communication is interaction. One-sided approaches inevitably become distorted. So I objectively thought it would be more useful for you to learn about it later. If we weren’t in this crisis, I wouldn’t have told you at all, right?

“……”

“Are you alright? Your expression…”

“It’s nothing. I feel much better.”

As the pain actually decreased significantly, it became easier to breathe.

However, as if filling that void, chills rapidly intensified.

It wasn’t that the pain had made him forget the cold.

Until just now, both symptoms had been ravaging his entire body simultaneously, making it unbearable.

Now, even cold sweat felt irritating, like thorns scraping against his skin.

-The woman before you has many secrets. But she has allowed you into her heart to some extent. You don’t need much. That should be enough.

“……”

-Later, you won’t even need that much.

Is he telling me to test this ability on Luiness now?

-If understanding her would create obstacles in your path, then don’t do it. But you have doubts, don’t you?

“……”

-I’ll tell you the method, but whether you do it or not is your choice. And just because I explain it doesn’t mean you’ll be able to do it right away.

The Demon King continued explaining.

-You don’t see with your eyes. You see with your mind. Your head doesn’t examine things as eyes would—you see, hear, and feel with your mind. That sensation is important. It’s like someone without limbs trying to understand what having limbs is like.

‘No.’

I do understand.

I just didn’t know whether I could do it or not.

Thanks to the Demon King’s explanation, as if a lock had been unlocked,

the method suddenly became clear to me.

Starting with Luiness’s touch on my head,

I gradually sank deeper.

The sensation was somewhat similar to previous experiences.

Though I’m not sure if it was because I intended it this time.

…It felt like I was voluntarily stepping into a thick fog.

It was somewhat vague.

====

It was a world seen through a girl’s eyes.

She was employed as a servant, a maid in a noble household.

But her master was her own blood relative.

When her father died, their fortunes rapidly declined.

Amidst debt collection and selling off assets at bargain prices,

their life became truly miserable after being evicted from the mansion where they had lived.

No, perhaps only her younger brother truly felt the misery.

He was young, suffered from a disability, and due to his difficult temperament, no one understood him.

“What kind of servant earns money in place of their master!”

When their wealth was depleted, the girl voluntarily threw herself into various jobs.

And the boy who had to watch this scene finally confronted her, unable to comprehend.

“I have nothing left! Nothing to give you! Why do you still stay?!”

“……”

The girl asks herself.

Reason?

I don’t know.

Because we’re blood relatives?

The only one?

Does blood relation mean anything to me?

No.

Rather, wasn’t it because of blood ties that her father had treated her that way?

Before coming here, her life had been truly wretched.

It was worse than death.

Even death by her own will was impossible.

They had thoroughly managed her at least in that regard, saying that her death would violate the contract.

Most were in a state of being alive but not living.

She should have been like that too.

“……”

Originally, her hair wasn’t this color.

But now, it was white, with a light hue like the sky.

Her eyes had also lost their color.

She could see without problems… but how many times had people around her struck her, saying it was ominous?

…In truth, she felt nothing at all.

“The head of the family entrusted me.”

“Did father save your life or something?!”

“…Quite the opposite.”

“What?”

He may have given birth to her, but it was also his will that sold her to them.

The reunion with her family, which she thought was coincidental, turned out to be a predetermined outcome.

Her father had expected her to be dead or in an even more miserable state, she was told.

…’He’ had come to her father’s funeral.

And told her the truth.

Her father, until the moment of his death,

was a pitiful and despicable parent.

………

She was devoted by anyone’s standards.

Among those who valued her for this were noble individuals.

Some offered her exclusive employment, substantial compensation, and even proposed that she become a concubine.

She refused them all.

Eventually, the boy with the lame leg and the girl had to head to the city in search of work and a place to live.

But that too reached its limit.

“How long am I supposed to just receive your care?!”

She had overlooked it.

Or perhaps deliberately ignored it.

Even though she knew that care wasn’t always the answer.

There was no room in her heart to consider such things.

His once neat attire was now shabby and wretched, unlike before.

The only thing still intact was his iron cane.

Apart from that, everything about him had become shabby.

Indignant, trying somehow to leave that place with unsightly and miserable movements,

the girl could only watch blankly, unable to stop him.

Belatedly coming to her senses and chasing after him,

she saw him fallen in the middle of the street, having dropped his cane.

And then.

…A carriage was approaching.

-That’s enough.

The girl rushes forward.

Embracing the boy, she is struck and trampled by hooves.

She was hit by the carriage body and thrown as if about to be crushed under the wheels.

-Are you going to experience all of that? You’ll die.

And all of this, as if watching from a distance.

However.

Everything was distorted.

I am here now, borrowing her memories.

Therefore, I couldn’t know what she herself couldn’t remember.

“If it had ended like that.”

Luiness as we know her wouldn’t exist.

……

……

“Thank you for your concern.”

“……”

She seemed to regret that her ability wasn’t sufficient.

“If the Sister were here…”

“It’s fine.”

Kariel blinked, as if telling her not to worry.

His condition hadn’t improved.

The pain had just receded a little.

Even that returned to its original state as soon as she removed her hand.

‘Is it inevitable?’

He hears the clamor within.

If he had stayed quietly at home, he wouldn’t have experienced this pain.

That’s true, but also false.

What kind of hardship is this, recklessly going outside?

That’s true, but also false.

It’s painful everywhere.

…Of course, compared to this desperate pain he feels now, the anguish and pain of those days might seem like childish complaints.

But wasn’t I in pain every moment I was there, before becoming like this?

“……”

Luiness.

Why is she here?

And why is her past that I glimpsed so dark and bleak?

“So, what are you going to do now? Just rest quietly like this, or move?”

Ases pulled him back to reality from his contemplation.

Venus had left earlier after hearing Kariel’s message.

“…I do have something to do.”

“What is it?”

“But first.”

Kariel extended his hand.

“Help me get up?”

“You’re asking for the hand of a delicate woman like me? Among all these people here?”

“……”

“You really can’t take a joke. Why have you become so humorless?”

Holding her hand, he barely manages to stand up.

At the same time.

Through her eyes, he could glimpse his younger self.

At a glance, he was just a kid.

The only difference from his current self was that his hair was neatly arranged, making his forehead and features very clear.

But still, he was just a kid.

The girl was shunned by those around her.

A foreign princess with exceptional talent, her thinking and perspective were distinctly different from others.

Above all, since she couldn’t form common ground with peers,

she often associated with adults.

Hunting monsters. Organizing troops. Facing dangers and struggles.

Yet those who knew her circumstances kept their distance.

“Everyone can be different, right?”

In this world, even a single weed was born with meaning, as God said.

“Ases. Maybe the reason you’re different from others is because you’re meant to do things that others can’t?”

“Is that so?”

The girl dismissed it as if it wasn’t impressive,

but that was just her not showing her true feelings.

…Despite everyone fearing the young girl, this kid, younger than her, acknowledged her existence—not out of innocence, but fundamentally.

How deeply that comforted the girl at that time.

“I thought I’d accompany you during your stay.”

“I’d like that!”

People around them considered Kariel, who showed kindness to Ases, an unusual child.

The Demon of the Lake.

She was already called that by the time she was over 10 years old.

Ases believed without doubt that Kariel’s goodwill toward her would continue.

But.

That was a serious misconception.

He treated everyone the same way

he treated her.

One day, she had to ask him confrontationally.

“Why are you so eager to help others when you have such a fine ability?”

That ability to persuade others and unlock their hearts seemed like a power to Ases.

It was natural for him, but impossible for Ases herself.

“Why? If I can help as many people as possible, isn’t that only natural?”

Natural?

“Why? Why help them? They should be the ones exalting you. You’re a noble being. No one can replace you. Isn’t it a waste of time and efficiency for you to act just like them? Losing you would be an even greater waste. You know that, even if others don’t, right?”

Why live altruistically?

Why dedicate yourself to others?

“You were born with the right to be selfish by nature! Why don’t you understand that?”

Many people receiving help and salvation from his hands was surely… a noble journey.

But what about himself?

At first, she thought he was trying to prove his worth as a hostage, but that wasn’t it.

That was just how he was.

“…Sister. A world that only values efficiency, productivity, and profit would be another hell for those who can’t keep up. I don’t like that.”

“But civilization has developed that way, hasn’t it? Even if we accommodate the weak, there are limits to consideration, right? Are you going to take care of everything from birth to death? How is that different from livestock? Humans should fend for themselves—who are you trying to help and save? I could accept it if it were like the governing principles rulers often spout about caring for their people, but you genuinely believe you have to accomplish that? It’s impossible. Impossible.”

“I know that too. That it’s impossible.”

“Then why do it? When you know it won’t work.”

“That’s why I do it.”

That’s why he does it.

“Since everyone gives up knowing it won’t work, I thought, what if I at least try?”

This is the problem with being smart.

When you clearly see that something won’t work, why bother? Is there any need? Is it worth the effort? What’s the value? How much effort should be put in? How much time? Effort? What benefit comes from all that?

…All those calculations and questions were just excuses.

She realized that.

Through that conversation.

However, it wasn’t salvation.

But it was clear that

it gave her the courage to know her path and walk it.