Ch.89Chapter 89 – Because It’s a Happy Ending (4)

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What was life to me?

To gain insight into such a question, there was a best method. It was the Zen dialogue where Zen practitioners exchange questions with each other.

Originally, to surpass the wall of Transcendence Realm and reach the Transformation Realm, enlightenment is essential.

‘Was life suffering to me?’

This was the first thought that came to mind.

Because of my brother’s death, my father’s violence tore my soul to shreds. As a child, I lived searching for reasons to rationalize the abuse.

A monster who survived by devouring my brother, a dullard unacknowledged by my parents, overwhelming poverty that made it hard to breathe—all these things were crashing down on me.

So I wrote.

To prove that my life wasn’t a mistake, to leave evidence that I had existed.

Complete self-abandonment—at least while writing, I could forget the problems of reality.

‘No, life wasn’t suffering to me.’

Rather, suffering made me who I am today.

I was truly happy when I wrote my first work, using life’s misfortunes and sorrows as material.

I loved seeing the children I created breathe in the world, and I loved seeing my imagined adventures preserved in print.

The dark and sad experiences that no one could dare imitate became a novel titled “Diamond Fist King.”

‘Through writing novels, my life changed.’

That’s how I met Yoo Seol-hwa and experienced a once-in-a-lifetime love.

The mass of words written by a boy without dreams met a genius girl, creating an opportunity to build a world with its own colors.

And so the boy who wanted to die began to crave life in order to write.

But,

‘…I didn’t do my best in my previous life.’

Although my lover Seol-hwa committed suicide—an unfortunate event—I shouldn’t have given up writing, if only to honor her wishes.

‘Do I deserve to find meaning in life?’

I never fully realized my dream of becoming a novelist, didn’t fulfill my promise to Seol-hwa, and broke my promise to my readers.

What a laughable situation. The miserable end of an author who discontinued three works in a row.

I met again the characters I had abandoned, and had the worst reunion with my readers and lover.

Naturally, I couldn’t easily reveal the truth about this world, and I kept piling up lies, doing despicable things.

‘I just hoped not to have regrets in this life….’

Still, I tried to save as many people as possible. I did my best to guide my disciples on the right path.

Ending the novels I created with the right conclusion.

That was my last lingering attachment and concern, which might be why I tried to be different in this life.

‘…It’s laughable that someone who has already been defeated is struggling for another chance.’

I had neither heaven-given talent nor the fighting spirit to persevere.

Even when I tried to grasp something with my hands, I was only consumed by the sense of deprivation as it kept slipping away.

But if there was a breakthrough like a sharp point amid that defeat, it was:

‘Gratitude for life.’

Living with a terminal condition due to the Severed Nine Yin, I stopped postponing things. I began to feel grateful for seeing the sunrise that started each day.

Paradoxically, only by being closest to death could I feel most vividly what it meant to be alive and breathing.

As death approached, even the passing seasons felt precious, and I came to know the warmth of spring where life grows.

In summer, I learned to appreciate the passionate sunlight and refreshing monsoon rains.

In autumn, I saw the leisurely and abundant wind, and in winter, the pure white that dyes everything.

Normally, I wouldn’t have paid attention to such trivial things. In my previous life, I just repeated writing and sleeping, and time passed too quickly.

‘…Because I didn’t die and kept living, I was able to meet my current disciples.’

The most important thing in a person’s life is the connection with others—meeting people, parting ways, becoming close, fighting, and getting to know each other.

I was able to live in the present because of past connections, and I was able to dream of the future.

Because I was about to die, I cherished the people I considered precious even more, and I could more easily recognize those who tried to take advantage.

“Master, why should I live? Is there a reason for a monster like me, who devoured my friends, to continue living?”

I was able to give a proper answer to Bi-wol’s question not long after she accepted me as her master.

“You’re giving teachings to this unworthy master.”

Because I lived thinking the same thoughts every day.

I saw people who died because of the Great War of Justice setting I had written in my notes, and I saw people who lost parents or children because of it.

“Surely you think about wanting to die every day. You feel anguish about why you’re alive.”

It’s all my fault. If not for me, there wouldn’t have been sacrifices. I’m trash who deserves to die.

These were all delusions I had first.

But,

“However, that’s not a reason for you to die, Bi-wol.”

Because I was living with a terminal condition due to the Severed Nine Yin, I thought that if I lived atoning as much as possible, heaven would eventually punish me.

So I helped people to live without regrets until the end of my life. I accepted the sick, the injured, and war orphans as disciples.

This was also why I advocated for the evil path rather than the righteous path. Because that was necessary to take care of outcasts regardless of bloodline or talent.

Fame or money in the martial arts world wasn’t important either.

For the extras who had already died, I erected tombstones and personally apologized to their children, pressing my head to the ground.

Because it was the right thing to do.

“If you can’t find a reason to live, I will personally become that reason for you.”

That’s how the Ice Dragon Fate Sect, which was once a small sect, now has over 100 members. What started as my atonement has now become a place like home that cannot be done without.

“Because I am your master.”

Reflecting on the past, I realized one thing. Life to me wasn’t suffering.

“Master.”

“Master!”

“Brother.”

“Do-hyeon!”

All the dark past and sad events had returned as such great hope, embracing me warmly.

“Master, how can you say it’s strange for a disciple to fall asleep by her master’s side?”

Bi-wol, the Star of Heavenly Murder and Heavenly Demon who had to kill people to survive, met me and was able to know the warmth of human embrace.

“Master! No matter how I think about it, this goes against the path of justice! Running away cowardly before the enemy!”

Verdandi Astraia, the hero who was obsessed with her own justice, gained some flexibility after meeting me.

“Brother, please leave everything to me. I will guide your path with love.”

Azazel Blackheart, who was abandoned by the man she loved and became a saintess of the Outer God trying to rewind the world again, came to know proper love after meeting me.

“Do-hyeon, all stories should end with a happy ending. That’s the best reward you can give to the readers and characters who believed in you as an author!”

Yoo Seol-hwa, my lover who committed suicide and met a tragic end in her previous life, was able to meet me again in this world.

Meeting them and getting to know them changed my perspective on life.

‘Life is hope…’

It’s like starlight that drives away darkness and creates new possibilities.

‘…Therefore, I will write the ending of this novel with new hope.’

My breathing stopped and my eyes automatically opened slowly. Disciples from other worlds who came here to save me despite being at a disadvantage.

‘I am Han Do-hyeon, an author and—’

To make them happy too, I needed to merge multiple world lines into one.

‘The terminal master of the final bosses.’

As soon as I reached the enlightenment I had been striving for, my body began to change.

The conception vessel and governing vessel meridians opened, the gate between life and death connected, and the energy of the spirit medicine began to spread evenly throughout my body.

Thud—

My heart began to beat rapidly like a hammer pounding, and all the muscles in my body twisted to create a new form.

Rebirth.

My body, which had begun to reach the Transformation Realm, was changing into a form that could defeat Yog-Sothoth.