Ch.89Chapter 15. Difference in Direction (4)

In Hayun’s eyes, Jieun was someone who “pretended to be cold.”

When Hayun was struggling alone at school, Jieun would suddenly appear beside her, making random small talk. Or she would grab Hayun’s hand and take her to a quiet place, walking around silently, or abruptly go to a convenience store and buy food to feed her.

Throughout all this, she never once took credit for her kindness.

She was never the type of person who would say, “I helped you when you were struggling,” and then make similar demands in return.

Her face was always indifferent, and even when buying things, she never made a big show of it.

But her actions always carried a warmth like sunshine.

Like a single ray of sunlight peeking through a small hole on a dry, cold day when your body is shivering in the shade.

That’s who Jieun was to Hayun.

The light Jieun showed was warm.

That light made Hayun feel a warmth that seemed to seep into her heart just by being near her.

But.

“…”

Although they had fixed up many things and somehow made the environment livable, the place still objectively looked like ruins.

As soon as they returned to their dwelling place, the light emanating from Jieun’s circuit immediately faded.

Standing there, Jieun was just a tired, somewhat sad girl.

Her back view, holding large plastic bags in both hands, somehow looked much darker than usual.

Hayun wanted to say something but didn’t know what to say.

The other children probably had a lot to talk about too. Especially Iris, who looked a bit anxious, likely wanting to ask how Jieun had managed that warp earlier.

But in the end, no one spoke up.

With just her back view alone, Jieun was telling them not to.

Jieun entered the house without looking back.

She carefully set down the plastic bags and crawled into the tent.

She didn’t close the door, but she curled up inside the sleeping bag.

Hayun bit her lip.

She wanted to follow right in and hug Jieun, to tell her everything would be okay.

But at this moment, she couldn’t.

The children began to move, a beat slower. Given the atmosphere, they didn’t make much noise, but they moved busily, trying to somehow lighten the suddenly heavy mood.

It made sense. They needed to eat, organize the food, and prepare water for bathing.

And if possible, they should get Jieun to bathe too.

But right now, it seemed best to give her some time.

After seeing her like that, none of them had the heart to push Jieun to move.

*

While organizing and preparing, Hayun kept thinking.

It wasn’t strange that Jieun had other acquaintances…

She never thought Jieun would have only one friend in Hayun. After all, Hayun herself was friends with the magical girls besides Jieun.

But even so—

Her chest felt tight.

It was strange.

She already knew about Jihye. She had somehow learned that Jihye was a friend who had shared a room with Jieun for a long time.

So it was natural for them to show such closeness.

The emotions she felt when she saw Jieun playing with James, who might essentially be a middle-aged man, were understandable. Despite his cute appearance—a mix of hamster, fox ears, and tail—the being inside was a villain who had plotted all sorts of schemes at Noir Corporation.

By now, she didn’t think all Combatants were villains, but she had no illusions that those above them were purely good.

The same could be said for the Federation and the government, but at least Jieun hadn’t shown any friendliness or willingness to cooperate with those two organizations.

The way she made physical contact so naturally, without any formality, seemed like she was flaunting their closeness.

And James was still a being who was temporarily cooperating for his own purposes. What if… Jieun got too emotionally attached and was taken advantage of?

She couldn’t help having such thoughts.

But with Jihye… she couldn’t have such thoughts about Jihye.

Because that girl was just too kind.

She hadn’t even wronged Jieun like Hayun had.

A sister-like friend whom Jieun missed terribly, who had done nothing wrong to her.

Thinking about that fact made her chest feel tight for some reason.

After finishing most of the organizing and preparations, Hayun went outside.

Today she was alone, not “together” with Jieun, but she felt she needed to do this to calm her mind.

She sat in the spot where she used to sit with Jieun, looking at the sky.

How did Jieun react whenever Hayun leaned on her shoulder?

She seemed to accept it as if it were the most natural thing, without making any fuss.

Hayun didn’t know if that was a good thing or not.

“Why…?”

She muttered to herself in frustration. The question was directed at herself, and thus she couldn’t answer it. It only made her feel more frustrated.

Hayun vaguely recognized the identity of this emotion.

She had felt it before toward Jihye.

When the three of them went out together, Hayun would cling to Jieun’s side after seeing Jihye casually stick close to her. Perhaps it was the first time Hayun had initiated such closeness.

It’s the same now.

She wants to be that kind of person to Jieun.

That’s why she was elated during today’s battle.

Because Jieun felt hope when looking at Hayun, and with that power, she was able to create hope energy from her circuit.

But Jihye…

Jihye could accomplish more than that just by meeting Jieun once.

Embracing her casually, encouraging her casually. The actions Hayun thought were special, Jihye performed for Jieun so ordinarily, as if they were nothing.

“I…”

That was it.

Hayun was jealous of Jihye.

She knew it sounded strange.

By any measure, Hayun had more than either Jihye or Jieun.

The fact that she didn’t worry much about the future even in this situation was because Hayun had lived with everything provided for her.

Wasn’t it too ugly for someone like her to be jealous of someone else’s emotions?

After sitting with her hands clasped in front of her chest for a long time, Hayun finally stood up again.

She hadn’t overcome her jealousy.

But she knew what she needed to do to overcome it.

Hayun walked with determined steps toward where Jieun was.

*

I know I look pathetic acting like this.

It wasn’t the magical girls’ fault that the situation happened in the first place.

It happened because I couldn’t properly control my energy.

In the end, because of that incident, I was able to meet Jihye, and with her encouragement, I used a new magic to return here, but my mood right after returning was terrible.

Seeing hope within despair, seeing a bright light in that dark place, was like experiencing a miracle.

While thinking everything is unwelcome, you’re somehow seized by a feeling that you can accomplish anything.

But conversely, when you cross the edge of that hope and return to reality.

I felt like I was hit with the realization that I had nothing, and that to eat even a single snack or ramen, I had to empty the not-so-full pockets of my friends.

I’ve experienced this before in my life.

But the weight of my current situation and experiences is different, isn’t it?

How do the magical girls maintain that “hope” even in this situation—

—I don’t know, I was about to think, when I felt someone entering the tent abruptly.

Tap.

I heard that sound in front of and behind me. It was the sound of hands pressing against the floor.

It took me about 3 seconds to infer the situation from that sound. Normally, I would have been startled much faster, but lying down listlessly, surrendering to extreme depression, it took me a bit longer to recall the “situation.”

And then.

“Ha, Hayun?!”

After those 3 seconds, I cried out in alarm.

The faint noise from outside the tent suddenly went quiet.

Whoosh.

The sleeping bag covering my face was pulled down.

What I saw was Hayun’s face.

Her face was close. Hayun hadn’t particularly bent her arms to bring her face closer, but since her palms were touching the floor, the distance between our eyes was close.

“How long are you going to stay like this?”

Hayun asked with a somewhat stern expression.

“Huh?”

As I was barely suppressing my heart that almost jumped out of my mouth, Hayun grabbed my shoulder and pulled me up abruptly.

“Not even eating.”

Hayun forcibly pulled my arm.

Knowing that we’d be struggling with each other for a while if I resisted, I chose to just get up following her lead.

“You haven’t even washed. Were you planning to just sleep?”

“I’m not hungry, and I can wash tomorrow.”

“You haven’t even changed your clothes!”

Hayun said.

“Come on, come on, hurry outside.”

Following her words, I went outside, and sure enough, the kids were preparing dinner.

I felt a bit pathetic for not even thinking about helping and just lying around.

Hayun pressed down on my shoulder to make me sit, and she sat down beside me.

“Here.”

Then she picked up a side dish with chopsticks and tried to put it in my mouth, but I was a bit startled and grabbed her hand to stop her.

“Okay, I’ll eat. I’ll eat, so…”

Feeling a bit strange about that unusual closeness, I said that, and Hayun smiled and asked, “Really?”

I decided to just eat quietly.

It was a bit embarrassing with the other children’s gazes fixed on the two of us.

I was already feeling quite pathetic, so it made it worse.

…Still, it’s fortunate that I got up following Hayun.

If I had stayed like that until falling asleep tonight, I probably wouldn’t have had the face to look at the kids tomorrow morning.

After finishing the meal, Hayun grabbed my arm again.

“What now?”

“You’re covered in dust. Of course, you need to wash before sleeping. Come on, let’s go wash.”

Again, Hayun dragged me toward the kitchen area.

“We, we haven’t even drawn lots!”

“You’re tired. Isn’t it better to wash quickly rather than spending time on that?”

Hayun was so assertive that I was at a loss for words. It wasn’t because she was too logical, but literally, I just had nothing more to say.

Somehow, I felt like Hayun wouldn’t care no matter what I said.

Was Hayun always this stubborn?

…Maybe she was.

At school, she acted as if she would fly away with the slightest breeze in front of the other kids in class.

She diligently followed everything her parents told her to do, and when she got hurt, she couldn’t even speak up in front of others.

Not even in front of me.

Only when I guessed on my own and made some effort to cheer her up would Hayun finally smile broadly.

But that doesn’t mean she wasn’t stubborn.

If she hadn’t been stubborn, she wouldn’t have been able to fight using “hope.” She wouldn’t have been able to fight villains and maintain her own sense of justice.

…And she wouldn’t be here.

Maybe I was acting so pathetically that Hayun had to take direct action.

After pushing my back firmly into the kitchen, Hayun grabbed the bottom of my top and tried to pull it up.

“What, what are you doing?!”

When I cried out again, Hayun said,

“I thought you wouldn’t wash unless I helped—”

“I’ll take it off! I’ll take it off, so let go!”

When I said that, Hayun obediently let go.

Ah, maybe it would have been better to just leave it alone.

Considering Hayun’s personality, she probably wouldn’t have actually undressed me completely.

In the end, I took off my clothes with a strange sense of defeat.

Of course, neither of us looked at each other. That seemed inappropriate no matter what.

When I got into the bathtub—frustratingly enough, it felt good.

Well, it’s warm water, isn’t it? There’s no way it wouldn’t feel good to soak your body in it. It’s just that getting to the bathtub is extremely bothersome, and the cleanup afterward is annoying.

“…”

Hayun, who had been quite noisy until I got in here, became ghostly quiet once we were in the bathtub.

She probably felt embarrassed only after getting in.

Anyway, she’s pushing herself too hard.

In the end, it was because of me. Hayun, who was worried about how to boost my spirits, must have come up with this method.

I let out a small sigh.

“I’m sorry.”

Perhaps hearing my sigh, Hayun apologized. Since she was facing away from me, her voice echoed off the wall.

“…No.”

I answered.

“I’m sorry for making you worry.”

“…No. You did nothing wrong.”

When I apologized this time, Hayun replied in a somewhat deflated voice.

We didn’t say anything more.

Is it because we’re in the bathtub? Or because we’re quietly sitting in a quiet place?

My thoughts seem to be gradually organizing.

So it’s not me who’s bad, right?

Aren’t those huge organizations that created this situation the problem?

I still don’t have a clear idea of what to do about all three of them, but I feel like I need to land at least one blow. I wanted revenge somehow.

The Federation hasn’t touched Jihye yet, but… well, they did touch me.

“About Jihye.”

I was just thinking about Jihye when Hayun brought her up, which surprised me a little.

“You two are very close.”

“…Yes.”

I nodded as I answered. Though Hayun couldn’t see me from her angle.

“…She’s a good kid. Really.”

We’ve fought before. How could we not have fought after living together for so long? If Jihye hadn’t been the first to accept my personality, we might have become like those “terribly bad sisters” you hear about in internet stories.

I don’t particularly like people touching my things without permission. This means, if I had to say it, that I have a strong attachment to my personal space.

But how would a young child living with me know that?

At first, I tried to be patient, and I actually was. For years and years.

But being patient doesn’t mean it doesn’t annoy me. And when such things pile up for years, eventually there comes a moment when both parties express their dissatisfaction.

Was it because we overcame that emotional barrier?

Or was it because we discovered we had common interests?

Really trivially, we might have just become close almost forcibly by living in the same place for years. With neither of us having family, we spent so much time together that we accepted each other as family and came to care for each other.

The reason doesn’t matter.

Jihye is a girl who cares for me, and I have reasons to care for her just as much. So… I just do my best.

During our time in the bathtub, I told Hayun such stories intermittently.

Hayun listened to everything I said without interrupting.

And by the end, she seemed to understand why Jihye and I were so close.

“I see. So that’s why…”

After muttering that, Hayun was silent for a moment, then got up from her seat.

The water splashed and settled down.

I also got up and dried myself with the towel I had placed near the door.

It wasn’t all resolved yet. There were still an enormous number of things to solve.

But my heart felt a little lighter.

“Did I talk too much about myself?”

“You already know everything about me.”

“…”

I said that out of embarrassment, but Hayun’s matter-of-fact response left me at a loss for words.

Right. Even now, I had another friend beside me who had known me for a long time.

I’m worried about Jihye.

But just worrying won’t solve everything.

Ultimately, solving the situation with the help of the children beside me was the way to help those around me.

The children didn’t seem to be thinking much about it yet.

As always, the night is dark. We use minimal light in case we might be spotted at night.

Perhaps because of that, the atmosphere seems nice. Like we’re camping.

The children who looked our way seemed a bit relieved seeing our faces in that dim light.

I… I’ve worried the other children too much.

Hayun gently took my hand from beside me.

“Let’s not go to sleep right away tonight. Let’s talk for a bit.”

“Talk?”

“Not about strategies, or enemy movements, or radio content. Just talk.”

Hayun smiled.

“Funny stories are fine, scary stories are fine too. Whatever.”

“…”

I see.

I looked at the children again.

At first, I didn’t know why these children came here.

But despite having many opportunities to leave, they all followed me all the way here.

Regardless of what our relationship was in the past, the thoughts of those children I see now are clear.

Those children are fighting for what they believe is justice.

And I am included among the people they want to save with that justice.

I had been ignoring that fact for too long.

“…I don’t really know those kinds of stories.”

“Then it’s fine to just listen from the side.”

At Hayun’s words, I finally nodded.

Following Hayun’s advice, I listened to the children’s stories. Sometimes shivering, sometimes laughing softly at their tales.

And then, I fell asleep just like that.

That night, for the first time, I fell asleep among the children instead of inside the tent.

…Though waking up with Hayun stuck close to me wasn’t much different from usual.