Ch.89Cannibalism (10)

I couldn’t understand it. I could understand wanting me to devour Isla, but the opposite?

“It’s simple. Either my sister devours me, or I devour her.”

I couldn’t understand why she would do such a thing. I didn’t know what she would gain from it either.

“Does the reason matter?”

Yes, it does. Of course it matters.

In the end, I’m the one living in this world, and it’s through my eyes that I view it.

Reason, justification, purpose.

These were necessary if I wanted to convince myself. And I knew all too well what would happen if I went down a path I couldn’t accept.

It was the same now. I could see with crystal clarity what would unfold.

At first, I wouldn’t understand. I would regret it. Then I’d start weighing different possibilities.

What if I had done this?

What if I had done that instead?

Wouldn’t that have been better?

Upon reflection, that would have been the better choice. Such thoughts would eat away at me from within, making my mind sick.

That’s how I would break.

Trying to live with a broken mind, I would eventually shatter completely.

It was the inevitable result of trying to use something that was already broken.

After that would come complete transformation—distorting reality to accommodate a shattered mind.

That’s what I feared.

“As long as either of us remains in Mother’s hands, it’s fine. It doesn’t have to be me.”

In that sense, Selma was a type of person I couldn’t understand.

I knew her reasons. I knew her motives. But I couldn’t empathize.

If I die, everything ends for me. Whatever happens afterward, I’m absolved of responsibility and unable to do anything about it.

I disliked death. I could even say I feared it.

But to accept death so easily like that.

It was something I simply couldn’t comprehend.

Especially when it wasn’t even an ordinary death.

“Are you afraid of death?”

Isn’t everyone? It seemed like nobody actually wanted to die.

And to be devoured by one’s own flesh and blood—it was horrifying.

I wondered if there was a way to be only partially eaten, or to have just a small part consumed.

“No. If any part remains, the deal is off.”

From the way she spoke, it seemed that even if most of her was eaten and she was incapacitated, there would still be a way to do something.

The premise of completely devouring a human made me dizzy and uncomfortable.

I didn’t even want to think about whether a human could be completely devoured or not.

The most distressing part was that I couldn’t even say this was my choice, strictly speaking.

“It’s one or the other. Either you eat me, or I eat you.”

It sounded like a problem between Isla and Selma. But I couldn’t simply ignore it.

How could I feel good about being forced to make a choice in a matter where I wasn’t sure I even had the right to choose?

My deliberation continued until dawn broke and morning arrived.

Selma had retreated long ago, but her words haunted me like a ghost.

I faced Isla.

All of this still felt less like my problem and more like an issue between Isla and Selma.

So I told Isla honestly. I conveyed everything.

“…Really?”

It was rare for Isla to speak like this. Though the situation warranted it.

“Is it okay to tell me?”

That’s what Isla seemed to be asking.

As if she were saying it might be easier for me to decide on my own and not tell her.

I said it was the opposite. If I hadn’t told her, I would have had to keep worrying about it.

To put it bluntly, I wanted to pass the burden.

Isla wore a perplexed expression at my attitude. That was another difference from Selma.

Selma’s expressions were clear. You could tell what she was thinking and what she wanted just by looking at her face.

In contrast, with Isla, you had to look closely to see fragments of emotion.

Her occasional expressions of joy were only visible when they were particularly pronounced, and when she stared blankly, it was hard to tell if she was dissatisfied or just observing.

But perhaps because we’d known each other for a month, I could vaguely discern.

Isla wanted to trust me.

But the situation didn’t allow it, causing her conflict.

A conflict that would ultimately remain unresolved.

Even when we finally stood before Selma, Isla maintained that same expression.

“Have you decided?”

Selma asked. The place where the laboratory once stood was now close to ruins.

There were traces of reckless use, breakage, and rampage everywhere.

Looking closely, there were also bloodstains scattered about. Had someone been devoured, or just killed?

I couldn’t tell. Or perhaps it’s more accurate to say I didn’t want to know.

“Before I decide… there are things I want to ask.”

“Go ahead.”

The haughty Selma sitting before me had told me many things last night.

“What happens if Isla doesn’t want to eat?”

She had said I would gain much if I accepted her request.

“What if I don’t want to force Isla? If I want to let her decide for herself, what then?”

So my task was either to turn a blind eye or to persuade Isla.

Honestly, while the words were simple, the choice itself was agonizing.

To persuade Isla to choose whether to be eaten or to eat?

It was absurd.

It was extremely irrational that those were the only two options, but Selma’s will was unshakable.

She seemed unwilling to create a third answer.

“Then it depends on my sister’s will.”

Selma’s eyes turned to Isla. The twin sisters, separated for who knows how long, now looked at each other.

Beneath Isla’s expressionless face lay anxiety and faint fear.

In contrast, under Selma’s threatening smile dwelled ecstasy, anticipation, and jealousy.

Despite their vastly different emotions, their expressions had become similar.

There was a history there that I didn’t know.

Some history that the sisters had experienced and that had forever separated them.

It was something I didn’t understand. I only vaguely sensed it.

Those who had died by my hand before were similar. They all carried pasts I didn’t know.

Each had made different decisions that brought them to that place.

I recalled one of them.

“The Red Beast Hertol.”

Selma’s eyes turned to me. Looking into those blue-gray eyes, I spoke.

“Why did he end up like that?”

She didn’t ask who that was or say she didn’t understand.

Instead, Selma smiled sweetly.

“He knew Mother but defied her. He refused both to eat and to be eaten.”

Then she closed her mouth and looked at me.

As if to say she wouldn’t tolerate a third option.

I met her gaze and then turned away.

Isla was already looking at me.

“Lu.”

She reached out and took my hand. That alone seemed to comfort her somewhat, but the situation remained unchanged.

A difficult choice awaited us.

“There’s no reason to refuse.”

Selma said, watching us. She sat arrogantly on the ruins of the lab, which had literally become a throne.

“You want to live, and you don’t want trouble. If you like my sister, then choose her.”

Selma was right. If I was wary of Selma and valued my bond with Isla more, I should choose Isla.

Or was that really the case?

Did I really have to choose one of them?

Did we really have to end this with one side making an inhuman choice?

I raised my head from these questions.

“Isla.”

“…Yes.”

“What do you want to do?”

At my question, Isla’s lips trembled. With her tail lowered and ears flattened, she studied my expression.

She was clearly either wondering how to answer without angering me or how to help me.

“Don’t think about me. I want to know what you want to do.”

I had only spent a month with Isla.

A month wasn’t enough time to fully understand a person.

But I could know to some extent.

The Isla I knew wasn’t a cruel person.

She didn’t kill unless necessary. In this terrible dark fantasy, that made her practically a saint.

Was it right to ask such an Isla to devour her sister without leaving a single bone?

Unless she herself wanted it, the Isla I knew didn’t seem like someone who would want that.

“I…”

Isla hesitated, still holding my hand. Her grip, firmly interlocking our fingers, was both tender and fragile.

Unlike Selma.

“I…”

She couldn’t continue. She just quietly lowered her gaze, closed her eyes, and sighed with lamentation.

Watching her reminded me of when we first met.

‘You can call me big sister.’

That’s what Isla had said. Only now did I realize that the expression that had crossed her face then was close to longing.

‘That’s a shame.’

Isla had truly felt regret.

Now I knew why. After leaving, she must have missed her sister, perhaps even their relationship.

So her hesitation was itself an answer.

An indirect answer that she didn’t want to choose either option.

“Selma.”

“…I wish it weren’t so.”

“I’ve decided.”

Selma fell silent. Her eyes met mine.

In the place where faint madness had retreated, jealousy was vivid. It was too intense to be directed at her sister.

That jealousy was directed at me.

At me, who was by Isla’s side, trusted by her.

“It will all be in vain. Everyone will become your enemy, hunting you down.”

“That’s fine.”

“It can’t be fine. You’ll have no allies anywhere. It won’t stop with the three clans and the Empire. Everyone will…”

“It will be fine.”

At my interruption, Isla looked at me.

Selma uncrossed her legs and walked down with powerful steps.

The piled debris collapsed, revealing what was inside.

They were corpses. Corpses stripped of life, only shells remaining.

The power to steal life. Mother’s power.

The monstrous power I would have to face from now on.

I stood proudly facing it.

I had no armor. Likewise, no weapons.

I hadn’t had time to grab my cloak. It couldn’t be helped. I hadn’t come expecting to fight.

But it was okay.

“Lu…?”

Isla was surprised, but I stepped forward to reassure her.

In truth, hadn’t I been prepared from the beginning?

I was a homunculus. A monster.

It was natural for monsters to be hated and hunted in this world.

Nothing was changing now.

“Let me ask one last thing.”

“Go ahead.”

“What does Mother want?”

Selma tilted her head. She smiled faintly and said:

“Nothing.”

Nothing, a transcendent being beyond good and evil who could favor individuals.

I let out a hollow laugh and clenched my fist.

“So she’s not an evil god.”

Looking at the blue-gray eyes vaguely directed at me, I concluded:

“She’s closer to a demon.”

A being of pure harm. Making a deal with such a being and choosing between the worst and the second-worst wasn’t the path I wanted to take.

I smiled lightly.

[Condolence]

[Time Remaining: 60 seconds]

With the message that flashed in my vision, I felt in my grasp all the lives I had taken until now.

“Come at me.”