Ch.88The Man is a Rookie? (3)

# Hero City D, Deep in the Mountains: The Ancestral Home of the Okami Family

Within that quiet and solemn mansion, there was one particularly noisy room today as well.

Siljong was, as usual, a Guardian of the Rift today.

More precisely, she was on her 9th match out of 10 promotion games, gripping her mouse tightly in the blood-draining battlefield while muttering a single truth:

“Ha, hahaha… Win and I’m Master, lose and I’m Diamond…!”

As always, her life secretly hiding in Kang Janghoon’s room without his knowledge was far from peaceful today.

In front of the monitor, Siljong’s eyes had lost focus, bordering on madness.

Her body was stuck to the chair like a dried fish jerky, and her arms moved continuously like overheated mechanical limbs.

She hadn’t even bothered to put on underwear.

In the face of promotion matches, underwear was merely a luxury.

“ARGH! Die, die you fucking bastards! Are you insane, top solo?! Do you think you’re Diablo or something?!”

Siljong screamed with foam at her mouth.

On one of her dual monitors was an AOS game, while the other displayed a newly installed MMORPG, neatly paused.

She couldn’t even play Diablo, of course. This season’s matchmaking was historically hellish.

“Seriously… what were the people who made this game thinking? Does gathering five humans together always require one idiot to make it work? Huh?!”

She was a monster.

That’s why she possessed hand movements faster than humans, senses more precise than humans, and rage more unreasonable than humans.

[Hey Siljong or should I say Sil-dick, you’re so fucking bad lol]

“…?”

At that moment, a message appeared in the chat window.

That single sentence completely turned Siljong’s eyes blood-red.

“What… the fuck did this bastard just say?”

[Hey moron, why are you chatting after shitting the bed?]

[If you’re upset, call for a gank.]

[Seeing how triggered you are, you really must be Sil-dick.]

I don’t even have a dick because I’m female!

In that instant, Siljong’s cheek muscles twitched.

Her fingers trembled, and murderous intent rose from beneath her scalp.

“Fine… let’s meet in person.”

[Hey. I live in City D. Want to fight IRL?]

[Call.]

The conversation was short and direct.

At that one line flowing through the chat window, Siljong immediately got up.

Normally, she would have just posted screenshots on forums, but not this time.

This guy had crossed the line by far.

Do you know whose loyal servant I am?

An insult to a subordinate was equivalent to insulting the master.

And this guy had just insulted her master Janghoon’s precious thing by calling it “Sil-dick.”

“Master Janghoon’s dick is as thick as a forearm! I know because I wash it with his back every day!”

Thus, Siljong completed her awakening as a monster heading out to punish the worst user in gaming history.

“It’s okay… I look human… and my skin color is… pinkish? Well, humans have all sorts of skin colors… this should be fine.”

She wrapped a muffler around her face and wore a hood.

Below, she roughly covered herself with sweatpants, and on important days like this, she even wore the uncomfortable underwear.

‘Whatever, as long as I don’t kill him, it should be fine.’

With that determination, Siljong headed to a downtown alley following the address sent by the guy who wanted to fight.

At the appointed location, under a somewhat secluded wall, Siljong shouted:

“Hey, is that you?! The bastard who wanted to fight me IRL!”

But at that moment:

“According to plan. Missing Monster secured.”

“…Huh?”

From the opposite end of the alley, women in black suits appeared in a line.

They wore sunglasses, had muscular builds, and held stun batons in their left hands that could sear even monster skin.

And in their right hands were capture ropes perfect for dragging away someone rendered half-paralyzed.

“Um… I think I’ll just go back now.”

“You may enter as you please, but leaving isn’t up to you.”

Siljong’s eyes widened.

As she took one step back, she realized there was an arrest mat beneath her feet.

The laser pointer following her head from above was just a bonus.

At that moment, Siljong realized:

Today wasn’t about Master promotion matches… it was about life demotion.

“By the way, I heard she was a shameless monster who doesn’t even wear underwear, but she seems quite human-like.”

“Just take her in. Those are the orders.”

“Bluh-bluh-bluh?!”

And so, instead of an IRL fight, Siljong was loaded into an Association transport vehicle.

Because of trying to play one game, she once again turned her back on divine protection and was captured by human law.

“Th-that’s unfair! Even in an IRL fight, it should be one-on-one!”

Her cries faded into the city, and the sky over City D remained clear.

Only Siljong was cloudy.

***

Hero Association Underground.

The interrogation room door opened with a bang.

“Waaaaaah! Master Janghoon~~!”

“S-Siljong?! Why are you here?!”

“I don’t know! Those guys invited me to fight IRL, but then they ganged up and tied me up!”

Siljong, tightly bound with monster-specific ropes, was dragged into the room.

Thanks to that, I stood up from my seat in shock.

“F-fight IRL? What are you talking about?”

“So like! In my promotion match, some crazy top lane psycho who messed up blamed Master Janghoon, calling him ‘Sil-dick’! So I went out to beat him up! But suddenly all these ladies rushed in with electric shocks and ropes… it’s so unfair… waaaaaah!”

“…Sorry, but I really don’t understand what you’re saying, Siljong.”

“Anyway! I fought to protect Master Janghoon’s ‘final dignity’! Please remember at least that much!”

I was pretending to question Siljong, but my mind was already racing at 120 km/h on the mental breakdown track.

That’s when:

“Is this monster indeed contracted with Janghoon?”

Without noticing when she had entered, Arcana Chairwoman was standing right in front of me.

No, I really thought she had teleported.

“Ah, yes! That’s right! Siljong is my contracted monster!”

“…? Master Janghoon, what are you… how could I possibly be contracted with someone like you…”

“Shh!”

I covered Siljong’s mouth and whispered:

“We’re contracted. As of today. If we don’t say that, we’ll both be killed by that person.”

“…Understanding complete.”

A few seconds later, Siljong wiped her mouth and immediately corrected her posture.

“That’s right! I am the Missing Monster contracted with Kang Janghoon!”

“Oh?”

“Master Janghoon awakened with my power, and everything is thanks to my great blessing! That power is no lie! The black energy is 100% pure Missing-brand made by me!”

“That’s right! She has… given me a lot!”

Both of us were exchanging signals with our eyes while talking.

‘We’re doing pretty convincingly!’

‘I think she’s almost fooled!’

But…

“Very well. Then I’ll ask you a few questions.”

“…What?”

Arcana Chairwoman’s expression seemed somehow colder than usual.

And then the methodical questioning began, like a survey.

“Where did you two… make your contract?”

At Arcana Chairwoman’s words, I quickly exclaimed:

“In the fog!”

“At a restaurant!”

“…Excuse me?”

Silence fell in the room.

The Chairwoman’s eyebrow raised slightly, and Siljong and I turned to look at each other simultaneously.

Whispering:

“S-Siljong! We met at a restaurant, didn’t we?”

“Huh? But technically, didn’t we first see each other through the fog?”

“Um… is that so?”

“You saved me from the Mosquito Monster in the fog, and I still can’t forget that look in your eyes! See, even now remembering that moment makes my eyes bloodshot.”

“…But that’s because you stayed up all night gaming.”

“It’s red-eye. The color of Master Janghoon’s love.”

…Somehow this conversation hasn’t matched up from the beginning, has it?

Arcana Chairwoman slowly tilted her head.

Her gaze was now changing from suspicion to suppressed laughter.

“Then… when did you make the contract?”

“About a month ago!”

“Ten years ago!”

A chill ran down my spine.

Whispering frantically:

“No, Siljong! What do you mean ten years ago?! If we set it up like that, I’d be a criminal who’s been committing crimes for at least ten years.”

“Oh, is that so? I don’t know anything about human laws, so I just said that. Can we revise this?”

“That’s not possible…”

The atmosphere between us was deteriorating by the minute.

“…I see.”

Meanwhile, the Chairwoman was taking notes of our every move.

Please stop writing.

“Then what were the terms of the contract?”

“Five years of lifespan!”

“There was nothing like that!”

…This is driving me crazy.

The Chairwoman’s hand stopped.

“Haah…”

I was sweating profusely, while Siljong remained confident.

Arcana Chairwoman’s eyebrow twitched slightly. This meant the atmosphere was becoming ominous.

“Are you… seriously claiming you contracted with this monster, Janghoon?”

“Well…”

“Believe it!!”

Siljong jumped up. Tears welled in her eyes.

I couldn’t tell if it was acting or genuine, but at this point, staying quiet would have been more helpful.

“I… contracted with Master Janghoon because he promised not to abandon me and to stay with me!!”

“……”

Arcana Chairwoman’s gaze turned to me.

So I too, at this point, put all my effort into speaking sincerely.

“…It’s true. I believe in this monster.”

“…”

The Chairwoman rubbed her forehead.

As if it was too late for her to handle the IQ level of this conversation.

“…Very well. Let’s process the registration as a contracted monster.”

“Huh…? Really?”

“However.”

Arcana slightly furrowed her brow.

“…Please don’t make us bring you to the interrogation room again in the future.”

“Ah, yes…”